Taught a Lesson

Thought for the day

2009-05-21T21:43:00.000-07:00

The feel of his cock. I lay there, waiting for him to do something. Anything. My breathing is shallow. His hands have been roaming all over my tits, my waist, my asscheeks. I want his cock inside me. I don't care where. Anywhere. Everywhere. I feel the warmth, the heat generating from his cock. He squeezes my tits. I get goosebumps. His fingers brush my clit. I groan. The need builds. My hand goes between my legs. His hands grab my ass again and pull my asscheeks apart. I want to tell him to fuck him. I want to tell him to shove his cock up my ass NOW. I want to plead with him, but I can't. The words won't come out. I feel his cock head against my asshole. The tight little hole spasms with a life of its own. I want it. He presses until he feels the taut hole start to give, start to open up. I moan. It hurts but it feels so good. I rub my clit faster. He eases the pressure off. I wiggle my ass at him, a wordless seduction telling him to come back. I feel the head of his cock again pressing against my asshole. I wait, breathlessly, to see what he will do. I try to open myself up to him more. Just the feel of his cock against that wanton part of my body increases my arousal. I want him to take me. I want him to hurt me. I want him to possess me in the way that only assfucking can do. I want him to grab my hips and plunge himself to the hilt inside of me. I want him to forcefully take me, whether I fight him or beg him or plead with him to stop, I want him to fuck me. I want him to fuck me like the little slut I am for him. I want him to fuck my ass hard. I want his cock pounding my asshole in ways that cause me to make noises that I don't realize are eminating from me right away. I want to be impaled on his cock, feeling his cock deeper inside me than it has ever gone before.

But he doesn't do that. He doesn't impale me. He doesn't take me. He doesn't plunge his cock into me. I feel him stroking his cock. The head of his cock is still pressing against my asshole, but he is jacking off. I can tell by the response from my body, by his animal sounds and by the speed of his strokes that he is near to orgasm. It turns me on even more. He has me placed so that I can not touch him. He is behind me. I can not see him. I can only feel him, his cock, the rocking of the bed. I can hear him. I can hear his labored breathing as his orgasm nears. I want him to stop before he comes. I want him to thrust his hard, swollen cock into me. I want to feel his cum inside me. I want our bodies to become one. He pushes his cock into my asshole just the tiniest bit as he gets closer. It stretches my unlubricated ass. He continues to stroke. I try to push back against him, to take him in deeper but I can't. I feel my own orgasm nearing. As his pace increases, so does mine. I want him to fuck me but I've passed the "fuck me" frame of mind. Now I just need the orgasm. I can tell he is in the same place. The moaning and groaning from both of us continues to get louder and louder, more and more pressing. His cock, still having barely entered my ass swells. He reaches the peak and I can feel his come spurting into me. My orgasm is right behind his. My asshole squeezes his cumming cock head, pulsating with my own orgasm, in rhythm to the jets of cum being shot into my ass. I am left breathless. So is he. Slowly, he withdraws his cockhead from my assring. The moment is over for now. My anal cravings are satisfied for now. Barely, but an orgasm brought on by a cock anywhere takes the edge off. If I'm lucky, that won't be the last of it. If I'm really lucky, when I wake up in the morning my body will have that "I've just spent the night fucking hard" feeling all over my body.

My idea of the perfect "spent the night fucking hard" feeling? I wake up relaxed, peaceful. As I start out of bed, I realize the muscles in my legs and arms are sore, like I have been lifting weights. As I move into a sitting position, I am caught off guard by the pain in my ass...and my pussy. Everything hurts, everything is sore. My pussy is sore and it kind of burns when I pee. My asshole is hypersensitive and it causes me a fair amount of anxiety everytime I go to the bathroom. My asscheeks ache when I sit. I look in the mirror and find bruises already set in. I dont have to see the bruises though. I can feel them with every move I make. I try to walk but the soreness in my legs and pussy make me have to concentrate in order to not walk like I just spent the night being fucked hard. When nobody is watching, I don't bother with the pretext. I walk bowlegged with the occasional groan of pain. I sit on pillows. I get up only when I have to. I love that feeling. I love that "been rode good and hard" feeling the next day. And all day, everyday until the pain eases up, I can be found with a mischievious little grin on my face at all times.

Its About Time

2009-05-15T07:50:00.000-07:00

So....just how long has it been since I posted? Way too long, I know that much. Life is just generally reluctant to allow me to do some of the things I really enjoy. That would not be blog posting. It would be the things that I post blogs about. Oh, I can't really complain. Life has been good. Just not quite as sexual or playful as I like it.

Since I have this time, let me share with you some of the things that I have been doing and thinking...things that readers of this blog might be interested.

To Hubby, the Love of my Life:

I still love you more than life itself. You are now and have always been the very air that I breathe. I find myself in a near constant state of arousal. No one has ever given me so much pleasure in bed...and out. I am for here for your use.

My mouth is yours to use like a pussy, if that is what you so desire. You are welcome to fuck my face as deep and as hard as you like. I have never completely understood it and don't intend to waste time pondering it but I love when my head is in your hands, or up against a headboard, or trapped on the bed and you fuck my face hard and deep. I love the feeling of your cock as it slides down my throat. If I'm not concentrating on keeping my mouth open, your cock goes deep enough in my throat to make me gag. I konw you like to see me gag. I just like having your pelvis bump up against my lips, your pace getting faster and faster. I reach up and grab your mipples and listen to you gasp. Your cock drives deeper every time I squeeze. So many times I have wanted you to fuck me, but I get so turned on that I need you to finish in my mouth. I do often control your orgasm when I suck your cock. Just so you know, it is my pure enjoyment of your cock in my mouth that pushes me to push you. When you come down my throat, it is like receiving a life enhancing elixer.

My pussy is yours anytime and pretty much anywhere. It is always open and willing to accept you. It loves your tongue and lips almost as much as it loves your cock...but there is never a replacement for your cock. When you push my legs back so my knees almost touch my shoulders, I want to engulf all of you. I love when we make love, I love when you fuck me hard, I love quickies and I love those 3 hour lovemaking sessions. I love having you between my legs, becoming one with me, becoming just a single body, a single mind, a single emotion. When you take my pussy, it feels like coming home...and we both know how much I love home.

My ass...my ass is needy. I want you to spank my ass hard, really hard, but I don't want you to as much as I do. The pain side of it will always make me say no. The really needy part of me wants you to do it anyway. I want you to spank me with your hand on my bare bottom until my bottom until it glows crimson red. I want you to spank my ass so hard that I feel it for at least 3 days after. I want you to spank me until I can no longer fight you. You are such a loving husband, you quit when I say quit. I fear that if you didn't, if you actually did to me what I want you to do, that I might not ever trust you again. I think I can honestly tell you when to push my protests...although obviously it would have to be before we started. I have such wonderful, harrowing spanking fantasies. I fantasize that we are alone,. You have a belt, our paddle with holes and the thin solid wood paddle. They lie on the bed, within your reach. I come to you wearing a somewhat loose fitting skirt and halter. As I approach, I see you also have a bandana, a ballgag, and various paraphenalia that you can tie me up with. You assure me that you will only spank me as much as I want. The gag is in case I want more but make too much noise. And this is a very real possibility. You motion for me to come to you as you sit on the edge of the bed. You pull me between your legs and rest your head on my stomach as your strong arms wrap around me. You hold me for a few seconds before you begin coaxing me across your lap. It doesn't take a lot of coaxing. Across your lap I go. You pull my skirt up so it bunches around my waist. You lovingly rub and squeeze my panty-clad bottom. You start by just gently spanking my butt cheeks and my thighs. Love taps at best. My need for something more begins to grow. You must feel it too, because you ramp up the efforts. Still with just your hand, you deliver at least a dozen hard smacks to my bottom, and then you massage my ass cheeks again. You ask me if I'm okay. I tell you yes. You can tell I am tense. You lull me into relaxation before you go on. When you finally feel I am ready, you take up a paddle. I don't know which one. This time there is no warning. You lay the paddle to my ass hard over and over. I don't have time to register anything but shock, surprise and pain. My body jerks. It responds reflexively, trying to escape the pain.,

Well, nothing kills a writing mood, especially one of the sexy type, like a freaking phone call. This is just one of the many, but similar reasons that I haven't had a lot to talk about in so long. Poor Honey and I can never find any time alone...EVER. Its very annoying, very frustrating and just plain pisses me off. Maybe I will be able to pick this back up again soon.

What do you think?

2008-10-21T22:25:00.000-07:00

Can anybody tell me how they manage to not wiggle and struggle and fight when they are getting spanked? I don't totally understand it myself. Its something I want. Its something I enjoy...after....but the during....poor Honey has his hands full. I want him to really whack away on my ass some days...but that doesn't mean that I can just sit there and take it. Its instinct, you know? Oh, some days I can most definitely just take it...and even ask for more...and harder. Needless to say, Honey is really fond of those days but most of the time I can't. I watch spanking videos all the time. I am in awe. Oh sure, there are a few that wiggle around like I do but most just let them beat their asses and at most squeal or whine. When I'm in "that" frame of mind, I don't much squeal, whine or wiggle...Honey really likes that...not that he minds when I fight back so much, its just much nicer for both of us when I don't.

He has gotten pretty good at being able to tell how hard he can spank too. Its not something I care to remind him of very often, but usually if he starts out hard, like harder than I like and will probably say mean things to him over, he can spank longer and harder overall. I LOVE the bruises. We actually had some spanking games recently that left a pretty respectable bruise for over a week! There were a couple of bruises but only one that was really good.

And does anybody else have those "phases"? You know, sometimes you want to be whipped with the belt, sometimes the paddle, sometimes the cane, etc? I almost always prefer a wooden paddle, and we have several different kinds. Some are big, some are small, some are thick, some are thin...It has surprised me more than I can say how much those thin paddles can hurt. Its not hurt really...more like sting. They sting like the dickens.

When its at its best, Honey gets into this spanking/teasing rhythm that is just mind-boggling. I get to the point that I just become a ball of sensation and just want to be fucked...and beaten...and fucked...and beaten...and I can't tell which I enjoy more. Spanking and ass-fucking have always just seemed like natural companions.

Here is my perfect sex night.

It starts out with mild spanking...maybe a playful handspanking or even an implement. Honey has me lay over his lap. He raises my skirt and pulls down my panties. He rubs my ass first, getting me nice and relaxed and then he begins. He spanks my bare bottom until it is a nice rosy pink color. It is just starting to radiate heat. He drops me between his legs where I kneel as he takes his pants off. He gathers my hair at the back of my head and pulls me toward him. He is semi-hard. He tells me he is going to use my mouth to masturbate. I open my mouth to receive him. He guides my face onto his cock, and forces my head back and forth as his cock grows in my mouth. With each inward stroke I can feel his cock going further down my throat, filling more of my mouth. He tell me to just keep my mouth open and he holds my head still. His cock has reached its full length and width and he wants to fuck my throat. He pistons his hips back and forth in my mouth, reaching further and further with the head of his cock down my throat. I am lucky enough (or maybe its Honey thats the lucky one) to not have much of a gag reflex so he can shove his entire cock down my throat. Most of the time I don't gag. But sometimes....on this particular day, when I gag, Honey takes it as a sign to pull me up, push my down over his lap again and wail on my ass. He takes me by surprise the first time. He holds me down across his lap while he takes a belt to my ass. The swats are hard and fast. I hardly have time to react at all, for the realization of what has happened to sink in before I find myself back on the floor between his legs, my mouth being forced onto his cock again, doing exactly what he he said he was going to do...masturbating with my mouth. He jerks my head back and forth, pushing his cock again all the way into my mouth, into my throat. When he gets all of his cock wedged deep, he holds my head down, not letting me off his cock to breathe, pumping his hips trying to get just a little more in my mouth. When he lets my head up, I gasp for air but before I know it, his cock is wedging its way down my throat again. I gag and try to pull away. This is what he wants, of course. I find myself thrown over his lap again and this time he pelts my ass with a ping-pong paddle. He gets a good dozen swats off before the sting sets in my brain and I whine..no words, just a sound. This gets him going even more and he pounds my ass as hard as he can at least two dozen more times without stopping. My ass feels like its going explode. I struggle to get away but he has me trapped. The sting is so sharp I have trouble breathing. All I can do is gasp. He shoves me off his lap again and this time stands up. He takes my head in his hands again and fucks my face hard. I'm afraid my teeth are going to cut my lips but he doesn't care. I can feel him getting close to cumming. I can taste it. He is varying his speed now. As he gets close, he slows down. When he has his orgasm at bay, he fucks my face hard. When he's ready to spank me more, he shoves his cock down my throat as deep as he can over and over until I gag. He jerks me back off the floor and over his lap again. As he rains blows down on my ass with a hairbrush, he tells me its time to move on...not from the spanking...we still have lots of spanking to do...he beats my ass with the hairbrush until I am begging him to stop. My ass has become a crimson red and is radiating much heat. When he tires of the hairbrush, he gets up and bends me over the side of the bed. He rips off ten hard swats from the holy paddle before I can mutter a gutteral groan of pain. "Do you want me to stop?" he asks me. I know what answer he wants from me. "No." He resumes spanking my ass with the holy paddle. He spanks hard and fast. Another gutteral groan escapes me. He throws the paddle on the bed next to me and leans up against me, his thighs pressed against my thighs, his hard cock pushing up against me and in between my legs, his chest on my back. He reaches around and grasps both of my breasts and squeezes, massages, pinches. He whispers in my ear "I'm going to fuck you soon. I'm going to fuck you and I'm going to fuck you hard." My breathing is ragged with pain and arousal. "I may fuck your pussy but I promise you I'm going to fuck you up the ass. My cock is going to be buried so deep in your ass you're going to know I was there for days. If your lucky, I MAY lube your ass first, but that's a big maybe. Right now, I'm thinking you just need to take me any way I want." One hand roughs up my breast and the other hand moves between my legs. "Im not done spanking you yet. You need a really good ass-beating." I can't say a word. I'm terrified and turned on. "I can tie you up for the spanking or you can be a good girl and take it what I have to give you. Which is it going to be?" "Please don't tie my hands down," I plead with him. "Alright, we'll give it a try, but if you don't stay still, I'll be forced to restrain you." With that, he takes the hand that was between my legs and toys with my ass. "Oh baby, your ass is so hot. You have no idea how much that turns me on." He squeezes my asscheek, causing renewed pain to my already sensitive skin. He takes the hand from my breast and massages both asscheeks roughly. He separates my asscheeks and probes the tight hole he intends to take. It feels dry but I tingle all over as he pushes the tip of a finger inside. "Oh yeah, your ass is just crying for my cock..." No words come out of me. He prods a little further. "You just love getting your ass beat, don't you Baby." He shoves a finger all the way in my ass. I gasp. He doesn't spend a long time there, but he pumps his finger in and out a few times. He chuckles to himself. He removes his finger, places his hand on my back. I feel a coolness on my flaming asscheeks. The real spanking begins. With his hand on my lower back to make sure I don't move, my ass gets beaten with the lexan paddle, a thin wooden paddle, the holy paddle and Bruiser. I find myself lost in subspace, wanting more and more. Honey lays a cool 100 hard swats on my ass before he stops. Then he hovers over me again. His erection teases me. His hands go straight to my breasts and he whispers in my ear. "You like that, don't you Baby. " I still can't talk. "You ready for me to fuck you?" He slides his cock back and forth against my pussy. "MMMmmmm hmmmmmmm" is the best I can muster. "My cock is so hard. Can you feel it??" Your cock pokes at my ass. Once again, I can't say anything. I am afraid that you will take my ass without preparation. You smack my ass with your hand. "I asked you a question." I still can't answer. I feel the head of your cock press against my tight sphincter. "Do you want me to spank your ass more or would you rather get fucked now." "Fuck me" I whisper. You press the head of your cock into my ass. I gasp. It hurts. "What did you say" you ask me, pushing your cock in a little at a time, pretending you don't hear me. "Oh.....it hurts," I struggle to get the words out. "Did you say it hurts?" You mock-question me as you sink a good half of your length into my ass. I can feel my asshole tearing. "Oh...oh...oh God!" I half-cry. You pull your cock back a little ways and slam it the rest of the way in. "Take it out! Take it out! Take it out! It hurts too much!" I plead. "Breathe," you tell me calmly in my ear. You ease your cock back until just the tip remains. As you pull back, it rips the breath out of me. "Fuck you in the ass or beat your ass hard for the next half hour. The choice is yours." You shove your cock all the way in again. "Beat me. I can't take it. Please take it out."You hold your cock inside me for a minute, giving my asshole a chance to get used to the rude instrusion. You pump gently back and forth. "Are you sure?" You ask me almost teasingly. I'm not sure. I'm not sure of anthing. "No." I whisper. You pull your cock out of my ass as quickly as you had shoved in. You grab up one of the wooden paddles and lay into my ass. My subspace as been interrupted and now I struggle, but you hold me down while you pound on my ass. You stop briefly. "Oh Baby, you are definitely going to know I've been here every time you try to sit down for days." You don't beat my ass for half an hour but what little relief I had started to gain disappears and the red hot flame returns. I can't count. I can't speak. All I can do is struggle. When you are satisfied with the beating you are giving me, you throw down the paddle, spread my asscheeks, and shove your cock up my ass again. It takes the breath away from again but this time the pain isn't quite as bad. You fuck my ass earnestly from the beginning this time. I know that no matter how much I complain, how much I beg, how much I plead, this time it won't do me any good. You murmur things about how good your cock looks in my ass, how good my red ass looks around your cock, the beautiful bruises that are already beginning to show, but I can barely hear. There is roar of pain, pleasure, and growing excitement in my ears. My hand moves to my clit and in seconds, my orgasm is racing yours to the finish line. You pound my ass hard with your cock. Your cock slides easily in and out, as if you had lubed my ass to start with. I hear your orgasm mounting. I feel your cock swelling in my sore ass. As your moans of pleasure gain in strength, my own mount to match yours. Soon, all either of us can hear is the blood rushing in our ears, our own moans of orgasm. Tingles rip through my body from the tips of my toes, but through my asshole that is still impaled on your cock and now filling with your cum, to the hair on the top of my head. The earth rattles for me. I see fireworks. My orgasm feels like it will go on forever. As it subsides, I become aware of the fullness of your cock, still securely planed in my backside. I become aware of the pain of even the hair on your body as it rubs against the fleshy parts of my ass and thighs. When we can breathe again, you gently remove your cock from ass.

Another fantasy to play with. I think we have actually done something very similar to this.

Hope that makes up a little bit for only getting on about every 3 months these days.

So Much To Write

2008-07-02T00:43:00.000-07:00

My writing is still obviously sporadic at best. Its not that I am so busy now, although I do manage to find things to do to take up my time. I want to try to do a quick catch up and see where the writing leads.

I can't write anything about Honey's and my exploits lately because there really haven't been any. Physically, it seems our bodies are not cooperating with us. Just as mine starts to settle and I'm finally figuring out my limitations, my poor Honey started having some serious problems. Nothing fatal or anything like that, but painful. Our sex life has become so uneventful that I feared Honey was no longer attracted to me and that he had found someone else that he was attracted to. It caused me some serious emotional pangs that I didn't share for quite a while and when I finally did, I didn't do it well. Then Honey decided to open up the proverbial gate, which was really a good thing because he didn't realize that the times I made cracks about a girlfriend that I was serious. My libido is almost as desirous as ever, but its not needy. If anything were ever to happen to Honey that he was no longer able to "perform" that particular marital obligation in the traditional sense, I could live with that. I would miss him in that way but I have no doubt that he would allow me my sexual gratification (also known as masturbation) with his assistance. I love his big, hard cock filling my orifices and there is absolutely no replacement for it, but its the intimacy that is most important to me. If I had to choose between cuddling and fucking, I would take the cuddling. Our love is strong and grows stronger all the time. And there is the spanking. I still crave it. I still want it but I am really confused about it. The short and sweet background of my confusion is that I was married to an abusive man the first time I was married. He didn't spank, he punched. We never even discussed spanking...not as kink, a foreplay, a form of entertainment or a lifestyle...not as anything at all. He was just downright mean. The fact is, before I was finally able to make my permanent break from him, pretty much the last year that I was with my first husband, I was resigned to and convinced that he was going to kill me. Not necessarily intentionally, but I truly believed that he was going to get drunk and beat me to death and then be very remorseful. It was Honey's friendship that helped me be strong enough to walk away from that abusive situation. Honey has a problem with spanking me sometimes because there isn't an abusive bone in his body. When he really lets himself go and whacks on my ass pretty good, then I start wondering how someone who is supposed to love me can do that to me...even though its what I want. Of course, being the spankee, he also has some trouble from time to time grappling with that issue. If I don't think about it and just allow myself to indulge, I like it. I want more...a LOT more. Unfortunately, I have a hard time shutting my brain down sometimes. It isn't just in spanking either. Its sex in general. If I think about what I look like, my age, or any of a thousand other things, I can't enjoy any kind of sex. I have to close my eyes and just let myself feel. Its stupid I know. It will kill an orgasm if my thoughts drift to me. I will most likely NEVER be involved in a 3 way, 2 males and me, because of that. Its hard enough to shut the intrusions in my brain with Honey, who I am as comfortable with as I am with myself, much less a third party. And then there is the jealousy issue. Neither Honey nor I believe that a third party in our bedroom can enhance any part of our lives together. Honey is extraordinarily understanding and patient with me. I think I am with him too when his issues pop up to bug him. He is the most important part of my life. Nothing is complete until I can share it with him. He is my best friend, my best lover, and psychologist, my musical partner...I don't love any one thing about him, I love the whole package. Sex and games are great but if I had to choose between having a platonic relationship with Honey or having him as a fuck buddy with no relationship, I would take the platonic anyday, hands down. When I try to explain just how much I love him, I find the words to describe exactly what I feel have yet to be formed. Words, phrases, syllables are all inadequate. Picture this: My heart is latex balloon. My love is the helium that fills that balloon. When I think it has reached its maximum capacity, I find there is always more expand that balloon without ever popping it.

Okay...off to other things. I have been visiting, searching, seeking and finding sex-related, and kink-related sites on the web. I want to share with you a few of my personal favorites.

1. Anal Amy.com. This is a blog being written by a very young slut who has a thing for....you guessed it...anal sex. She is quite the little nympho (slut is a word she often uses in reference to herself). She gets laid a lot, in a lot of different ways, by a lot of different people. I got so turned on by her reading her detailed descriptions of a few of her sexual encounters that I have decided to start from the beginning. This particular blog of hers appears to have been created in May of 2006. I am only up the middle of June of 06 and I think she has already had more sex partners than I have had in my entire life. Non-manogamy is so scary these days that although I LOVE reading of her encounters, I am really glad that I am 20 again. As a standing rule, I am always glad that I'm not 20 again. That decade was not one of my favorites. I was already having kids by the time I was Amy's age and sex was very confusing to me. I didn't like the fact that I didn't know what the "rules" were about having sex. In high school, its easy. You don't do it. I realize most people do but the "rule" is that if you are female, you don't do it...at least they were like that when I was in high school. Then comes marriage and the vows of manogamy. But the inbetween times...I found it difficult to negotiate all that. Amy doesn't seem to be having any problems. At her age, I was wondering things like: Do I have sex on the first date? How far is "okay" and for how long? I have never been particularly interested in others opinions about all that. I pretty decided that if I was attracted to a man, and he was attracted to me and we both wanted to have sex, then we would. I had quite a few one night stands, a few illicit affairs but for the most part, I was chaste compared to most of the people I know. Luckily for me, I have had Honey to work out all the things I missed out on. Amy now...I can live vicariously pretty damned well through her writings. I urge you to drop by her blog and spend a little time browsing. I would love to hear back from anybody that does stop by there and let me know what you think. She isn't a spanko, but honestly, I think she just hasn't discovered that fetish yet. Her anal exploits always leave me wet and seeking out Honey's cock. This is a girl after my heart. She loves anal sex at least as much as I do...and she's a pain slut even though she doesn't really appear to know it yet. She takes lots of hard cock up her ass and quite often without lube of any kind. Tell me that isn't a pain slut. Tell me that isn't a girl who wouldn't enjoy a bare bottomed ride across some strong young sadists lap. And she has just a touch of bisexual in her so I think she could bottom for both boys and girls. Here's Amy's webdress: http://www.anal-amy.com

I have so much more that I want to blog about and have been such a terrible procrastinator that I can really only do this one recommendation and review for now. I have to go to bed because I have to be up in about 3 hours and will probably be up the rest of day...but that is a whole blog unto itself. I'm not going to wait so long to post again. If I have the time 2 or 3 times a day to blog, I'm going to start making a point of actually doing it. Its part of what has kept me from blogging. I think I have to put everything down in one entry and when I don't get it done, I put it off and put it off...I make no promises when I will post again but I'm hoping soon because I have some tasty stuff to share.

I KNOW ITS BEEN FOREVER....

2008-04-30T09:15:00.000-07:00

Had you given up on me? Thought I had given up on the blog? I haven't. Life, as life sometimes does, has interferred with my ability, desire and causes for blogging. I won't go into all that but rest assured, I'm still here, I still have Honey for a playmate, and we do still play...just not as often. This is not by choice. This is because of circumstances.

I wonder what happened to Toy? I haven't located a new blog for her. I miss reading her oh-so-erotic encounters. I have had many a self-induced orgasm over her posts, her experiences, her fantasies. Even though some of her fantasies are not quite up my alley, they never failed to turn me on...even when I was cringing with fear.

I have been working on a post for several months, believe it or not. Its a fantasy. Oh, don't think the fantasy is so good that it has taken me forever to write it. Its just that everytime I think I am alone, I get into that certain "space" that I have to be in to write...well, to fantasize and then write...or do them simultaneously...SOMEBODY POPS INTO MY LITTLE BUBBLE. I really hate having people enter my bubble when I'm deeply engrossed. It completely destroys the mood. So, one of these days I will finish the post, I will share yet another fantasy, maybe I will even have an encounter to share.

Speaking of which...Honey has been expressing his desire to beat my ass in a serious way. Not in an "I'm pissed off at you" way. In a "flogging your ass makes me so horny" kind of way. I am pretty anxious myself. We have gotten to play a little. We discovered the good old dogleg wooden brush is relatively quiet so it has seen some use recently. Honey has used some other implements on my bottom as well, but I really don't know what they are. I just know they feel really good and the closer I get to orgasm, the harder he can hit. I'm still sure there is some kind of fucked up psychology that goes along with that....that probably goes along with the desire to be spanked thoroughly, but who really cares? It feels good. Well, it doesn't...it hurts like hell but it is every bit as erotic as fellatio or cunnilingus (oh my god...I forgot how to spell it), kissing, teasing the nipples, kissing from head to toe. Its just another facet and its a good one. I have a birthday coming up very soon. Another year older. How depressing. I don't feel any different. And I feel completely different. Its awfully nice watching TV and seeing women that are older than I am being as sexy and active as they were 20 or 30 years ago. No, our skin isn't as supple as a 20 year olds, but I can pretty well assure you that I know how to be sexy when and where it counts way better than any hard bodied 20 year old. Except maybe Britney Spears, who really needed to be taken over SOMEONEs knee and have her butt blistered before her parents finally took control of her. She may not have appreciated it at the time, but 10 or 20 years from now, when she's alive and those she was partying with are dead, or brain dead, she will know that her parents did what any loving parents would do under the same circumstances...minus the millions of dollars that were at stake. I really thought she was going to be pushed right over the edge and one day they were going to find her overdosed body somewhere...but I don't think thats the case anymore. She actually seems to be making some headway. She will never be like the rest of us. She isn't that bright, she has been way too priviledged way too fast and she was thrown into an adult world when she was still a child. But I think she might actually live through it.

I hate when I digress like that. In fact, I may even go back and take that whole Britney Spears part out before I post. Probably not, though. This is my babbling medium. Its my place to mostly babble about sex and those things that I don't discuss with anyone other than Honey but reserve the right to babble about anything I want.

I hope to do more writing in the near future. Not just here, but if I can get some good thoughts together, I would like to try to submit something to Pink Flamingo. I LOVE those stories and short stories are a great way to get into the writing mode again. I can write smut really well...now I need storyline! Oh and if anyone does or has gone to the Pink Flamingo website, please let me know what your favorite stories are. I have a few favorites already and although I have sat down several times already with the intention of ordering a paperback, I can't decide on just one, so I haven't ordered any.

I think for my birthday I am going to indulge in a Hitachi. Honey has wanted to get one for a while. I have preferred my battery operated, night table vibrator but I have been having serious bondage fantasies lately so I'm thinking a Hitachi might just be the icing on the cake. Honey used to tie me up all the time. I loved it. Then physical problems got in the way and it was just too painful. These were work-related injuries. When you have to go to court to get the employer to take responsibility, the lawyers tell you to tell the judge how these injuries have negatively impacted your life. Sexual function is included in that...you know, the old "marital obligation" stuff. How do you tell a judge, under oath, "Oh yeah, my husband and I used to enjoy when he hung me from the ceiling with my hands handcuffed behind my back so he could beat my ass to his satisfaction before throwing me on the bed and shoving his cock up my ass and fucking me so hard that I could feel it for a week." I don't know. Maybe I'm a prude, but I just can't do it. I leave the sex stuff out. The doctors...well, that is another story. I dont go into great detail or anything but I have mentioned more than once that we had an active, somewhat aggressive sex life that my body can no longer tolerate. Very mostly politically correct way of saying that yes, this injury is negatively impacting my life. If you have never been there, be glad. Its very awkward. And had I worked for an employer that cared at all about its employees, I would never have had to go to court.

So...wrapping this up because its early a.m and I would like to snuggle with Honey briefly before he gets up for work, I just want to say, don't give up on me. I'm preoccupied but I think things are getting better. I will finish that fantasy sooner or later.

Do you or have you ever fantasized...?

2007-12-15T11:21:00.000-08:00

I shall pose this as a question, a fantasy and a concept. Have any of my readers out there, most of whom I know are female, ever considered, or fantasized about being a prostitute? I think those that enjoy humiliation and objectification will most understand what I am about to say. When considering, or fantasizing about the prospect of being a prostitute, you have to consider the levels of prostitution...each having its own fantasy attached to it.

Lets start from the bottom and work our way up.

THE STREETWALKER

Otherwise known as the $5 whore. As you can see, the nomenclature brings vivid imagery with it. For those who prefer humiliation and objectification, I would think this would be a common fantasy. I have to admit, it has been my occasional fantasy since I was an adolescent. The idea of being picked up by a stranger, bought like a bag of candy, subject to the whims of the person that bought me. For up to sixty minutes, I hand my body over to another individual to do with as he pleases . Oh my fantasies have ranged from the mere streetwalking, being picked up and fucked like any other whore to the more vivid fantasies. I get picked up by a real weirdo, someone who really wants to watch me squirm. He starts out by forcing me to my knees and shoving his hardening cock down my throat. My head is held still and I am told I am not to move. If I do move, I'll pay for it. I am choked by cock. Of course, despite myself, this turns me on. My titties are slapped, pinched, handled roughly the entire time. My head is pulled into this strangers cock. I can taste pre-cum. He stops before he cums. He lifts me by my bared and battered breasts. He throws me face down on the bed, rips off my skirt (its usually a skirt in my fantasies, although not always). He asks me in a rough, mean voice if I have ever been spanked. I tell not since I was a little girl. He tells me, in that same voice, that I am in for a treat. He is going to be my daddy for the night and he's going to beat my ass for being the bad little girl that I am. I struggle but he lays all his weight on top of me. He starts with his hands. There is nothing gentle about it. He slaps on my ass hard. I fight him. I kick. I scream. He tells me likes my screams and he slaps my ass harder. My ass becomes numbed to his attempts. Its hot. Its on fire. I can picture it being bright red. I don't cry. I don't want him to see me cry. He moves our bodies around so my torso is on the bed, my knees are on the floor. He is directly behind me. His body pushes mine into the bed. He reaches around to the front of me to taunt my breasts more. I can feel his hard cock pressing into my back. He has gotten naked and I never noticed. "You don't think we're done yet, do you," he mocks me. "I'm going to beat your ass so bad you wont be able to sit down for a week. You think being a whore is worth all that? You are going to have bruises that every john that buys you is going to see...and then I'm going to fuck you. I'm going to fuck you like you haven't been fucked in a year." I'm terrified. I have no means of escape, and even if I did, he bought and paid for me. I lost my right to refuse. My ethics, screwed up as they may be,
We agreed before we entered the room. I am his to with as he pleases for now. He gave me his word. No bruises to the face. No broken bones. No homicide. Okay, sure, he could have lied but I've seen his type before. He just gets off on the power exchange. Probably has a ballbuster of a wife at home and he wants to do to me all the things he would like to do to her.
He steps back from me. My breathing comes easier now, but not for long. He grabs me by my hair and pulls me backwards. I open my mouth to hollar out in surprise just in time for him to shove his cock back in my mouth. Still holding my hair, he fucks my mouth fast and hard. I don't have time to prepare and I gag. It doesn't stop him. He doesn't stop until he is ready to stop. When he finally does, he drags me around by my hair. He goes back to the bed. He sits and pulls me over his lap. He is scolding me the entire time but too much is going on for me to comprehend what he's talking about. He is angry. My body is laying across his legs. He has one leg over my legs and one leg under. He takes the arm of mine farthest from his body by the wrist. He holds the wrist at the lower arch of my back. He starts to spank my ass hard again with his open palm. I can't move. He has me completely restrained. After about 20 spanks, he stops. "You like that, don't you bitch. You know you deserve it." He rubs my ass gently. His fingers probe between my legs. "Just as I thought," he muses. "Like a fountain down here. You really do like it, don't you," I don't say anything. I feel my asscheeks being pried apart. "You want some of this?" he teases as his finger probes my anus. I tense up. "Oh yeah baby, keep that up and make me a really happy man." He forces his finger into my dry ass. He fingerfucks my ass. It hurts. He wants it to hurt. When he pulls his finger from my ass, it hurts just as much as it did going in. He starts beating my ass again, but now he has something he is using to beat my ass with. It hurts like crazy. He tells me his hand has gotten sore from trying to beat the badness out of me. He doesn't tell me what it is he is using. I don't find out until much later that it was a wooden hairbrush...something convenient that he found in the room...or maybe he brought it with him. I feel like the skin on my ass is going to explode. I try to wriggle away. He has me almost completely restrained by his body. The harder I fight, the harder he spanks. He doesn't do it slowly. Its one smack after another. The pain doesn't get any easier but I start to feel myself slip into that other place...you know the place. The place where all subs go. He goes on beating my ass but slowly, I stop fighting. I know there will be big ugly bruises tomorrow. I'll be surprised if there aren't bruises later that night. I become like a ragdoll laying across lap. Before I know it, he pushes me off his lap, in between his legs. His cock is rock hard. He orders me to suck it, which I do with ferver. He watches me. I feel his cock getting even harder, swelling. Before he can come, he pulls me off his cock and throws me back on the bed, face down again. He climbs on top of me from behind. I feel his fingers probing at my ass again. He pries open my asscheeks again but this time he lubricates...not a lot...just enough to ease the entry. I feel his cock urging its way between my cheeks. I get up on my knees, ass up, head down. His cock finds its target. Once he realizes he is where he wants to be, he shoves his hips forward. I cry out. He buries his cock all the way until his pelvis meets my ass. The entry is not unexpected but painful nonetheless. It takes my breath completely away. My head comes up off the bed but he shoves it back down. He uses my breasts like they are handles. The harder he squeezes each tit, the stronger the strokes into my ass. He mutters things while fucks me but I pay attention. My hand wanders to my clit. He fucks my ass hard and painfully but as I find just the right spot on my clit, the pain starts to subside. My asscheeks are burning and sore from the beating. The fucking is good once I get past the pain. Its a brutal session but my clit responds. As hard as this stranger pounds is as hard as I rub my clit. I feel his arousal increasing and mine rises to meet his. I know when he is about to come. I feel my own orgasm nearing. As I feel his cock begin to blast his load inside my ass, my own orgasm is triggered. I hear this strange man screaming to God things I have never heard before as my orgasm thunders through my body.

Oh yeah. Okay, my $5 Whore fantasy varies, sometimes rough, sometimes not, but my fantasies are almost always rough. Sometimes they include more than just one person. I have voyeur and exhibitionist fantasies too. Sometimes the idea of having someone in the room watching me get my ass spanked hard is quite the turn on. Sometimes watching someone else get her ass beaten is a really hot fantasy.

The Escort

The next variation to it is the Escort Service. No streetwalking. Safer environment. Cleaner environment and cleaner clientele. A better idea of what is expected from the very beginning.

Much as I hate to do this...I'm going to let my readers think about where these fantasies go from here. Its really late in my little corner of the world and I'm very tired, so I will pursue the The Escort Service and the Callgirl later this week. Feel free to share any variations you may have. I am always looking for new fodder to masturbate to.

Feeling the Love

2007-12-13T08:17:00.000-08:00

Its really surprising to me sometimes how even a single comment can renew the urge to continue with this blog...or any other writing. Thank you for those comments. Even if I don't respond, its not because of a lack of appreciation. I live for those little comments. Its because I am terrible correspondent...and I can prove it.

I am probably one of those perpetual students. I went so long after high school without really going to school but I really don't think I have ever gone more than a couple of years without going to SOME kind of classes. I love the learning process but I am not such a great student.

When I was in high school, I earned money on the side (I have been working at least a part-time job since I was 10 years old. I had one bout of unemployment for 5 months about 17 or 18 years ago and then there is now) by doing other people's homework but it took all but an Act of Congress to get me to do my own homework. I have always done well on tests...with a few exceptions. I had a college algebra course that I froze up on the final. Fortunately, I had a great teacher that year and she saw my frustration, picked up my test when I turned it in, chased me down the hall, talked to me about "test anxiety," which I had never before experienced but I have, I think, phobias about testable math. For reasons I won't go into because you really wouldn't be interested, I didn't have "pre-algebra" in middle school before having High School Algebra. I survived high school but I never understood it. I could do it but it wasn't until this great teacher named Mrs. Beaver (no, I'm not making it up) in college that I understood it. Anyway, this same teacher chased me down the hall, told me "You know this stuff," explained test anxiety, told me to go wash my face, take a few deep breaths, take a walk to clear my head and come back and try again. I took her advise and when I sat back down to do the test, she was right...it all came flooding back and I was able to finish the test. I still feel test anxiety from time to time. It sucks. Its like slamming slamming a cell door on the brain. One second I know everything and the next, I can barely remember my name. I can usually close my eyes and talk myself out of it now, but not always. I still hate homework. I think if you can pass the tests, why should the homework count...and if you have problems with the tests, the homework should count more because you ARE actually showing the ability to do the work, just not necessarily without notes. I don't know about anybody else, but I haven't seen a career field yet that didn't allow the use of crib sheets, notes, whatever you need to get the job done. You can have the information in your computer, in notebooks, on index cards...whatever you need, so why can't schools, including colleges, personalize the experience, really grade on the ability to perform the work necessary. I know the schools, public and private are overwhelmed, but a scan of gradebooks and just a LITTLE one on one attention can provide so much more insight. So...maybe I should be a teacher? I have given thought to that idea. And I may...did you guess that I'm about to go to school...again?

The problem is the loss of interest. I have trouble with my attention span. Always have. I learn fast, usually, so sticking with the pace of a class has always been problematic. I like challenges so the classes that I do have trouble with keep my attention. The others...well, lets just say my GPA should be high but it isn't. Its average. Maybe even a little lower than average. It seems that I have genetically transferred this to my children. Only one is actually a little slow, learning disabled, but he has more common sense than any of my other kids and he is EXTREMELY responsible...scarily so, in fact. The others just get bored and have trouble with follow through. I do have a college degree, but I haven't lost the urge to learn so I plan to work on a Master's degree along with another Bachelors. I don't have work to slow me down now so maybe I will actually do well...I did well the four years it took me to get my Bachelors (right around a 3.6 average) but because of classes I had taken when I was younger, my overall GPA is, I think, a 2.6. Its okay, though. I still got my degree and I know and understand everything about my degree field. I think that is more than a lot of people who have degrees can say.

So what does all that have to do with a spanking blog? Absolutely nothing. Unless I/we decide to incorporate spanking in to my academics. Honestly, I have considered it but I don't think it would work. That would be me trying to force someone else to force me to do something that I already know I have to do. The rebel in me thinks it could be counterproductive and just make me resentful. Besides, I am far more interested in actually learning than I am in grades. I have too many things I want to know, from electricity to teaching to medicine to law. I actually talked myself out of law school though because I don't want to have that much debt late in life. Medicine is great but let's face it, those folks put way more hours into a work week than I want to spend and the work is HARD...and I really don't think I am compassionate enough for medicine. And I know I don't want to get into the psychology of the whole spanking thing. I like it. If I know why, I might not like it anymore. I think being sexually satisfied could go a LONG way toward making school easier. And being sexually satisfied at this stage of my life often includes a little pain play.

As I write this, Honey and I are awaiting a few new toys. I'll probably hate myself when they get here, as I usually do. We have a loopy rattan cane and a couple of other canes that Honey picked out. Of course, I sent him the link for him to find the ones he wanted...silly me. I'm sure there will be at least one or two picture posts when they get here. I'm looking foward to them arriving...in that masochistic sort of dreading way. I can't wait...but I can...but I can't.

Okay, really this was just going to be few lines to try to get back in the swing of things but the one thing I have never been excused of is being at a loss for words.

Has It Really Been Almost Two Months??????

2007-12-10T20:54:00.000-08:00

How remiss have I been with my blog? Oh my God...I couldn't believe when I looked at the date and noticed how long it had been!!!! Well, to say that things are going well would, I guess, be quite the understatement.

I can't remember if I mentioned it or not (I'm sure I did but just in case, I'll say it again). I quit my job of 17 years on October 1st. It was a tough decision but it was a good one I think. I haven't decided exactly what I am going to do and I think I am starting to get passed the identity crisis it has caused for me. I have many options, many plans and will be anything but idle in the next couple of years but it has felt a lot like being 17 and graduating high school all over again. I think they call this a mid-life crisis. The job thing...I loved my job so it made it very difficult and I know that by quitting, the asshole that I was forced to work under thinks he got the upperhand on me. Little does he know we have not visited our last meetings as of yet and when we do, he will most likely discover that he isn't very clever at all. I don't know how he has gone all these years without realizing that. It seems he has been told that everywhere he has gone but some people are thick headed. Anyway, between the health issues caused by the job, the heavy stress, the underutilization of my talents and the complete lack of integrity that has befallen the workplace, I chose to leave of my own free will. I can take up and probably achieve more in the field by working as a volunteer at this point and I have way more ambition than to just let some unknowing, untalented, ignorant brute run roughshod over me. I can do better.

Of course, that has nothing to do with what the blog is supposed to be about. Its just an excuse for being neglectful. I have had to reevalute my entire life. I like the direction I am headed for the first time in years! For the last several months I have been able to be a stay at home wife! I have NEVER had that opportunity before. I am a terrible housewife as far as cooking and cleaning but I like the being able to stay at home part. I am here whenever Honey comes by during the day. We don't have to coordinate schedules to spend time together. I discovered ER (way different subject). The only serious problem I have at the moment is that I have gained a LOT of weight this past year. I have justification. In the last year, I have quit smoking (I was a pack a day smoker since I was 13 years old...trust me...I had been smoking a very long time) and I had surgery on a herniated disk in my neck. Needless to say, I have spent a lot of time in the last year on my ass....now I have to find a new diet and workout schedule that I can do since I am limited now on how I exercise. I walk. It isn't enough. I always lost weight in the past with running in place. I don't want to risk hurting myself again so I am not up to running in place yet but I have started stair climbing. Lets see how it works out.

As for the sex life...well...there hasn't been a lot of a sex life. There hasn't been a lot of spanking. There hasn't been a lot of anything other than living because of my health issues and poor Honey is trying to follow suite, I think. I'm afraid to push him too hard and he's afraid to push me so we just haven't been very active because we are afraid of hurting each other...and not in that pleasurable way we all know and love.

Having said that, let me say that there has SOME playtime. Man oh man oh man. You know, I hate being deprived and I hate FEELING deprived even more. But it has one thing going for it that you just can't ignore. When you do get to make love, spank, play games, whatever it is you do...its EXPLOSIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Honey and I engaged in some "raising the sexual tension bar" by playing with some of the toys a couple of times throughout the day. He spanked me briefly (a mere 5 or 10 swats) with first one wooden paddle and then later in the day, the holey paddle. I was ready for some serious playtime. So was Honey. We actually waited until we went to bed that night. We didn't play any spanking games then. Then it was pure carnal pleasure. Honey fucked my mouth. I do so love when he does that. I close my eyes and lay back. I can feel as he nears orgasm. Often, once we get to the mouthfucking stage, I don't want to stop when I feel him getting close to cumming. I often grab him by his hips when he tries to pull away in order to perform other sex acts and force him to come in my mouth. It turns me on so much I just have to have to the whole thing. I won't say I was fucked good and proper. I wasn't. Honey made love to me on this night. It was sweet. It was gentle. It was loving. It was incredible. And we came together.

Not the stories of usual, but then, not a lot has been "as usual" for a while now. But it has all been good.

The Saga Continues

2007-10-26T08:30:00.001-07:00

I don't know about anyone else, but the one thing I really hate about the cane (so far) are the stray swacks...and the ones that decide to loop around the hips. I don't care for that stinging pain on the hipside. In fact, I pretty well cave on that one. Thighs are the same way. Let one of the rattan devils decide to ride low and I turn into a little bitty ball covering all that may need to be covered until the initial pain abates. I have more pictures but as you can see from these pictures, I encountered a few of those. Now, I know any bottom can understand this, but it was my stupid idea to throw the cane in as an implement for the night. I was really just wanting to try out, in a real kind of way, the new paddles. Stingy little boogers, those are, but thats beside the point. Honey really REALLY likes the cane. I think it must be a phallic thing (I'll pay for that comment later, I'm sure). Honey has read my blog. Honey has seen my favorite spanking movies. Honey knows that I really want those deep marks you see on the videos. Honey also knows I am not really into drawing blood when we play so when you think about it, I think he really has his work cut out for him.

Obviously, says the sensible part of my brain, you have been watching way too movies and should probably lay off the sado-masochism before you make yourself really sorry. That, however, is not to be. Instead, I found myself subscribing to yet another spanking site this past week. "Her First Punishment" is my newest fascination. Even as I type this, I am downloading a seriously vicious, deviant, savage spanking video...and I can't wait to see how close I can get to having the same thing done to me.

(I feel the need to interject at this moment that I am SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO) glad Blogger saves drafts automatically or I would have wiped out this blog by accident. Nothing will make me quit writing faster than accidentally deleting a blog that I have been working on)

So, Honey and I had been talking extensively about our next playtime, but it wasn't really working out for us to actually have a playtime. It was becoming very depressing. Honey and I were finally able to find ourselves in the home alone, time on our hands, and both in the mood. Anybody who reads my blogs very often knows that I am a HUGE fan of paddles. I wanted my newest buy to be tried out in the truest fashion. I bought THREE lexan paddles with holes. Well, they said they were lexan. And they may be but they feel way more like acrylic. They are light and stingy. One is a kind of pocket paddle. Small, transportable, I guess like a cheek to cheek paddle (pictures to be posted soon). The second one is a respectably sized paddle, with holes, probably best not used for close proximity spanking but more like for punishment It is the kind of paddle that you stand or kneel in front of your spanker and he whacks on you at about arms length away. I think this is Honey's favorite of the three. The third one...I surely must have lost my mind. Its a frat sized paddle, with holes. I like the holes. I know its supposed to make it hurt more, but I like them. This sucker is way longer than it is sensible and Honey says he is actually afraid its going to break around the handle area, so he hasn't used it a lot. Honey likes big paddles (think Bruiser) when it comes to my ass but I think this one actually makes him a little uncomfortable. He likes to think he can beat my ass as hard as he wants without his implements breaking. I'm thinking: if it breaks, maybe he was being a little too rough with my ass. He's not convinced.

Honey and I actually have much fun when playtime comes around. He has such a way of pushing me farther and farther. I have a decent pain tolerance most of the time. We started with the cane. Honey doesn't believe in spanking over clothes so we both got naked and he told me the position he wanted me in...doggystyle, pillows supporting me. Totally accessible. We had agreed that Honey would be doing some serious-type wailing on me and he certainly showed me that he isn't afraid to wield a cane. 25 strokes in all. That was my count anyway. 25 cane strokes, none of them on the light, lets-just-play-around side. Each and every one swished through the air audibly. Each and every one left top and bottom cane marks. Each and every one turned Honey on more and more. He gave me little breaks. They weren't one stroke on top of the other for the full 25. He swatted my ass a few times then would take the time to let the burn cool down some. About every ten strokes, he stopped to give me pleasure as well. Honey took full advantage of the parts that were accessible to him. He would bring my passions up to boiling point and then reposition for more spanking. Honey knows now that crying out in pain doesn't mean stop. It means give me a second. Honey knows that way to push me into longer and heavier play is to arouse me sexually as well as painfully. I do so like the two together (so does Honey, by the way, but in different ways than I do). 25 hard cane strokes that I took before we changed implements and I was as sexually aroused as a woman can be...and ready for more.

We moved on to the leather strap. Once my ass is fired up, the leather strap, no matter how hard Honey swings it, turns into a gentle massage. My silly self once thought it was just that unimpressive as a tool of torture and let Honey wield it a few times OVER clothing for fun. I was shocked at how much it hurt. Now I know...its the headspace. I can tell Honey is swinging hard when we are in playtime but it doesn't hurt. I like it. I stick my ass out for more. It brings a nice heat to the action. I was in the mood for more painful play than a strap. I told Honey when we first got started "If you don't bruise me tonight, I will never let you spank me again." Honey took this to heart. He certainly did his best to comply with my wishes.

Once Honey felt he had sufficiently strapped my ass, he came around to the front of me. His cock was so hard. I opened my mouth and he proceeded to fuck my face just the way I like it...hard, deep, breathtaking...it makes my ass tingle for more punishment...it makes the rest of my body crave more of his cock. He held my face while he pumped his cock back and forth in my mouth. He would slow only to go deeper into my throat. He pushed his cock as far back into my throat as he could. His pelvis rubbed my face. I couldn't speak. I could feel Honey getting more and more aroused. I could feel his orgasm building. I wanted it. I wanted him to come in my throat. I wanted him to shove his cock down my throat and come. I was as aroused as he was...but he didn't. He pulled his cock away from me when he couldn't hold off any longer and went back to beating my ass.

I was glad.

Granted this is not the best shot to see it, but our playtime picked up again with the paddles I had so wanted to try out...and the trusty wooden holey paddle. Everything with holes. I had challenged him to leave the markings of the holes on my ass. If you look closely, you will see that he succeeded. I don't know how many swats I took. I don't know how long Honey paddled my ass. I didn't count. I just reveled in the pain. Honey would spank me hard...very hard...and then go down on me. Then he would change implements and do it again. Over and over, with each of the new toys, always ending with Honey going down on me hungrily. My ass was beaten so well. My arousal got steadily more intense as Honey spanked. Finally, when Honey was satisfied with his work, when I felt the heat radiating from my ass so much I thought I would lose my mind, Honey filled my ass with his cock. The lovemaking was passionate, it was hungry, it was overwhelming. It didn't last that long. We were both too aroused for it to last very long. Honey fucked my ass hard and I was in a world of bright lights and fireworks between the stinging, the heat, the pain, the passion...my body was on total overload. My orgasm started in my feet, swept to the top of my head and back down again. It was a long, exhausting orgasm. It was EXACTLY as the session should have ended...with both of us exhausted, breathless and completely satisfied.

The after pictures, you ask....well, there aren't any pictures of my bruises because, if you can believe it, the bruises that I ended up with were so light they would never show up in a picture. I was SO disappointed, I can't even begin to tell you. Honey says he will have to start hitting harder. I'm thinking he hit plenty hard. My very well spanked ass looked at its best within the hour of having stopped. There was bruising. In fact, both cheeks were bruised, but I had to be in just the right light for it to be seen. OH! And my latest stupid move. The 3 paddles weren't good enough for this masochist. I had to buy Honey a "sample" pack of canes. Had I realized how thick they were going to be, I most likely wouldn't have done it but since I did, well, you know Honey just can't WAIT to try them on my bare bottom. And I'm sure he will in the next couple of days. I did tell him, however, that he would have to use just one cane per session or we wouldn't be able to tell what they did. He agree...thankfully for me.

The Last Big Day

2007-10-23T08:44:00.000-07:00

After all the waiting, the ungodly horniness, the cravings for some REAL contact, I got my wish...IN SPADES! I have decided to do things a little different today. There is so much for me to say that I don't want to miss anything, but I have such a short attention span these days, I decided it would be interesting to give a little at a time. I will be updating my blog off and on today and if I don't finish my story, perhaps it will carry into tomorrow. I'm just going to start for now

I have been wanting Honey to really...there are a gazillion words that would fit here but they all sound callous...beat me....no, don't like the sound of it...wear my ass out...true but still kind of coarse sounding...wail the skin off my ass...YYOUCH!!!!!!!!!! Once again, true, but just doesn't sound right.
Okay, how about this. I needed to be entertained in the roughest fashion comfortable to man or woman. Yeah, that sounds nice, doesn't it?
The truth is, I wanted Honey to beat my ass black and blue. I don't know why. I know it sounds like I always ask that question but really, especially in the throes of it, I could care less why. He likes it, I like it...it works. This was probably one of the most severe encounters we have had and I loved it. We kept getting interrupted unfortunately or it probably would have been even more severe...and I certainly wouldn't have minded that at all...but as it turns out, it was GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This first picture...oh yeah, that was just the beginning.

Thank You to My Lurkers!

2007-10-23T00:10:00.000-07:00

I want to thank those that were brave enough to leave me a message. It is always so much more appreciated than you can possibly imagine. The last couple of months have had their share of emotional upheavals so my writing has been way spottier (did I make that word up?) than I would like. I am still in a fair amount of pain, some days worse than others, but way less than I was so I think I can safely say the surgery was a success. I was afraid I would lose my readers during this bizarre time in my life, but so far, I don't think I have lost any. If anything, it looks like I have a picked up a couple of regulars. YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I noticed a couple of new areas when I was looking at the locations my readers come from. And when I checked my "referrals" I found two great German sites (I think they are German anyway). They made me wish I could read German in a big way.

I don't think I have ever mentioned it but I love erotic art. Erotic art turns me on almost as much as erotic movies do. I think its because erotic art gives me the opportunity to let my imagination run free with the image...and I have such a vivid imagination.

I had planned on posting some new pics tonight. I think they will be appreciated. I had one of those weeks...well, make that plural in terms of weeks...Let's just say that since Honey was afraid to touch me and I was home alone watching spanking movies and porno movies...I was more than ready to have my body used, abused and thoroughly ravaged. Let me assure you, I got EXACTLY what I asked for. For some reason, blogger can't post pics tonight and what would the story be without the pics? There are one or two that I'm pretty sure even Toy from Married Man's fucktoy will appreciate. I have to say this to Bonnie from My Bottom Smarts...remember when I said I wanted those colorful welts on my ass that they get on Lupus? Obviously I had lost my mind completely.

Having said all that, maybe having to wait another day to post pics isn't a bad thing. I have pics that we took that night. My oh so white skin wasn't so white...and still isn't,..in certain areas. We planned on giving my ass one more day to see what becomes of the bruises. I suspect they will get quite colorful but right now, they are those weak colors that you can see in person....yellow, green, light purple and blue....but they look like the color is going to get fall like before they go away. I can post some mighty vivid "just after" shots, the story that goes along with it, and if I'm in a real writers mood (we can all hope), it should be pretty good. I know the doing was good...REALLY GOOD. And I will also have some great "reminder" shots. You know the ones I'm talking about. The ones you can't help but check out in the mirror everytime you go to the bathroom? The ones that bring that naughty little smile to your face when you sit just right and get that little "ouch" feeling. Or the "ouch" actually slips from your lips.

Well, now that my teenage son has entered the room and COMPLETELY ruined the mood and concentration I need to write, I guess I will leave you for now. IN the next day or two, plan on some really owie shots showing up and a really hot story to go along with it. Honey nad I had a very very good night together...several, actually, lately, but this one was one for the bloggers!

Calling All Lurkers!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-10-15T06:52:00.000-07:00

Okay, late as usual, I have decided to run a Delurkers Week instead of a Delurkers Day.

This will be a second annual Love Our Lurkers...Day, which I think was last Friday...or in us procrastinators, Week...which is this week....or if you REALLY a procrastinor, why not go for MONTH...all of October! Then we cover pretty much everything.

This is the time that we bloggers try to coax, coerce or command the lurking masses to sneak out, take a peek and...gulp...reveal yourselves!

You know who you are. You are the one's that typed something into a search engine and found me. This is one of MANY websites that has taught you YOU ARE NOT ALONE. You are the ones that followed a link from another kinky site and started reading here. You are one of the many who have felt this way your whole life and didn't know what was wrong with you.
Maybe you've been too shy to post. Maybe you think you have nothing to say, nothing to share. Maybe you are afraid that by contributing, it is giving yourself away. Maybe you are afraid that by contributing, you have to give something or some great secret up about yourself.

This is the week for you. Introduce yourself...or some form of yourself that you are comfortable sharing. Share. Don't share. Give up what you are comfortable with and maybe push it just a little farther. Share your own desires. Or just say "hi." Come on. I know you're there. I check my stats almost every day. I even know where my most loyal handful of readers come from. I love you for taking the time out to read my postings. Now share the love and tell you are there. I won't tell your secrets if you don't tell mine.

Here's to DeLurkers Day, Week, Month. Hope to hear from ya soon.

More Fantasy

2007-10-02T22:35:00.000-07:00

I don't know what is going on with me and Honey for sure. Well, actually I do. We aren't being as physical as we were not all that long ago. A lot of changes and just basic crap has been going on for both of us. I had surgery, he is looking at surgery, I may be having more surgery, my mom is having surgery and oh...I'll bet I didn't mention this. After almost two decades of employment at the same location, with the same organization, I have quit my job. That has got to put a strain on my Honey but he encouraged me to do it. Unfortunately, he and I used to work together. Its how we met and fell in love. Now we don't work together and I think it is making work all the more difficult for Honey to handle. I know he is in a lot of pain. We don't have all the injuries worked out yet, but its in the works. We hope to have him fixed in less time than it took to get mine worked out. And I'll be able to be home with him while he is getting fixed. I think he is afraid to touch me since my surgery, too. I know he is afraid to be as aggressive as I actually like. Whether its regular fucking, throat fucking, anal fucking or spanking, I tend to like it on the extreme side. I think I have probably mentioned that once or twice before. Well, with Honey being afraid to touch, we haven't been doing a lot of anything...but I have had a really rich fantasy life as of recent.

My latest was inspired by the famous Oriental rape scene. Don't ask me which one. It was all over the "hurt me please" websites last week. It shows a beautiful Oriental woman with her breasts hanging out of her Kimono. Her legs are bound to a spreader bar (although it probably was just called a stick) but its not the way we are most accustomed to. The bar didn't go between her ankles. Her ankles are bound so the bar is actually behind her and her ankles are bound forward. It looks very interesting. It leaves a girl awfully open for anything a slightly sadistic man might want to do to a helpless, slightly masochistic girl. My fantasy is a little different:

I see myself being bound. Something Honey and I haven't really been able to play with much the last few years because it became too painful...and not in a good way. That has been surgically corrected. There are still some things that need to get fixed before I can hand full out bondage but I think this one would work. First, my wrists are bound to the headboard. Let me say this is not my favorite idea because I am such a fan of masturbation...in fact, most of my sexual life I have masturbated at least 3 or 4 times a day. I like to have my clit stimulated...what can I say. After my hands are bound, a spreader bar is placed behind my knees. The spreader bar is then bound to the headboard. This would leave my body almost completely folded in half, me absolutely unable to move in any "guarding" kind of way, and leave all of Honey's favorite spots open and available. After Honey finishes securing the spreader bar to the headboard, he shoves two fingers into my pussy. "As I figured," he whispers gruffly to me. I am completely wet. He trails his fingers to my anus. Gently, he applies pressure as he massages. I can feel myself open up, inviting him in. He slips a finger in, but only to the first knuckle. Just a tease. "Ready, are you?" he teases me. I am. I am completely at his mercy. And I'm so ready to be fucked.

"Not yet. You have to earn your pleasures today," He says to me. Butterflies are going crazy inside my stomach. Anything. Anything he wants is fine with me, as long as he takes care of the raging horniness. His hands massage my buttcheeks. "Oh yeah...you have a long way to go before I fuck you," he continues to tease. SMACK! He uses his open hand to slap my ass. It makes way more noise than cause pain. Still, it makes me jump. That is when I realize I have been holding my breath. Playtime has begun. He rains down handslaps on my ass, making it a bright red. I jerk with each and every one. They didn't hurt in the beginning but the continued slapping begins to sting. I stay silent. The slaps are echoing in my ears. After a good 3 minute handspanking, Honey decides that isn't doing the trick.

He moves on. The plastic brush is next. The plastic brush is one of my favorites. Honey can really wail away on my ass with that one. It stings but it is most tolerable and leaves quite a nice glow. Honey, of course, knows all this. In my very bound (did I mention naked?) state, I cannot relieve the tingling that has begun in my nether regions. Honey lays his triceps across the back of my legs and holds my legs tight against my body with his body and arm. He has a perfect target...my ass...in all its glory. He rubs the plastic across my ass. My breathing comes in short gasps. The first swat echos in the room. It stings. He bring the brush down again, this time on the other side. He starts bringing the brush down over and over, from cheek to cheek. I couldn't count if I wanted to. Honey is really getting into the nonstop swatting action. He doesn't stop until his arm gets tired. I wriggle under his weight. It doesn't hurt so much as sting. I can feel the redness growing. When he finally tires, some 100 swats later, he drops the brush and rubs my ass. "MMmmmmmmm...you should feel this. Your bottom is getting quite warm." Then he checks my womanhood. "Oh, I see you already know. You are soooooooo wet. I'll bet you'd like to be fucked right about now, wouldn't you?" All I can do is moan. He is right. I am so turned on I can't speak. I feel like a puddle of lust. Honey shoves 3 fingers in my twat and pumps them back and forth. It almost relieves the aching, but not quite. He laughs at my responding to his manipulations. "You are such a slut." He slips one finger into my anal passage. It completely takes my breath away. He laughs again. "I know you like that, slut." And he takes it away. "You want to see how much I like this?" he asks me, but he doesn't wait for an answer. He straddles my face. His cock is hard. "Open up." I do, gladly. I opened my mouth wide. He slides his cock into mouth gently at first. "See how hard I am for you?" He asks me. I cannot respond. "Spanking your ass makes me hard. I love to see your ass turn red. I love to see you try to wiggle away." He continues to talk to me while he strokes his cock in and out of my mouth, every stroke reaching to the back of my throat. Each stroke back causing my passions to rise and my throat to relax. Each stroke goes a little deeper into my throat. Honey takes hold of my head and seriously fucks my face. He pulls my head to him as his shoves his cock deeper and deeper with each stroke. I can feel his climax nearing. I hold my mouth open as much as I can to Honey's fucking. At times I can't breathe. I have to concentrate hard not to choke. I want to be fucked so much and I don't care where. "You want your ass fucked, don't you Baby" Honey taunts. As much as I can, I mutter unh hunh. I want to be fucked every way a woman can be fucked. Honey, keeping his cock securely in my mouth, wets a finger and shoves it full force into my asshole. I almost gag. My concentration is broken for a second. It hurt. It hurt so good. A yelp escapes me but Honey shoves his cock down my throat and cuts off my cry of surprise. He shoves the finger in as far as it will go. He tries to make it go further. My ass is so ready to be penetrated. A finger is good but its not a cock. Honey pulls his cock from my mouth just before he cums. I can hear the battle to keep from cumming in his voice. "Not yet," he spitefully says to me. Honey climbs off and I hear him rummaging. He comes back with a blindfold. "I want you to be surprised" he explains to me. I get nervous. Once Honey is satisfied with the blindfold, he returns to my exposed parts. He stops briefly at my nipples. He teases each one with his tongue and sucks gently. He knows this is mostly not a good feeling for me. He doesn't care. He likes it. Before he completely moves away, he takes both tit's in his hands and squeezes. I do like that.

Honey moves away from body. With the blindfold on, I am relying on my ears to figure out what he is doing. I hear a tube opening. He is getting the KY. I start to tingle all over. I think to myself "FINALLY....he going to fuck me in the ass!" Then I feel Honey. He massages the KY onto and into my asshole. It feels sooo good. He is prepping me for his big cock to make entry. Then I feel something cool...no, not cool...cold. Pressure against my anus. It gives way with little effort. "This is to remind you of what is coming....if you are a good girl." Slowly he eases the foreign object into my ass. I realize as it continues to grow exactly what it is. It is a butt plug. We don't often use the butt plug...I prefer real cock. As it gets to the widest point of the plug, my breath catches. Honey stops the foreward motion. "Relax" Honey whispers to me. "Breathe. You know you can take this. Take it for me. Relax and enjoy it. Its going in one way or the other." I can't stop him. I know my words will fall on deaf ears. He wiggles the plug back and forth, getting my anus accustomed to this strange object. When he thinks I am ready, Honey pushes forward again. It goes a tiny bit farther and then the pain sets in again. "Please Honey," I beg. "I can't. Its too big. It hurts," I plead. Its 3/4's of the way in and still gaining girth. "I told you...it's going in. You can do it without pain if you relax, or you can do it painfully. Its up to you." Honey pushes forward again. I whimper. I try to control my breathing. I concentrate on relaxing my anal muscles to accomodate this huge invader. Our butt plug isn't tiny by any means. Its girth is probably no wider than Honey himself but the unnatural things just don't feel the same. "Please Honey! I can't..." and you shove the plug the rest of the way in. For a second, I think I feel the tissue ripping and then there is relief. The butt plug is in place. "Oh Baby, that is sooooooooo sexy" you coo to me. I can't speak yet. Once in place, the pain ended but the feeling of being completely full stays. I feel my anus loosening and tightening, trying to expel the invader. It stays put. Honey watches for a few seconds in amazement. "Oh Baby...." Honey breathes. "That is just too hot. Oh..." Honey takes my thighs and spreads them as far apart as he can. "Oh I have to fuck you..." You say to me breathlessly. Your cock enters my pussy in one stroke. We are pelvis to pelvis. A cry escapes my lips. There is a moment of excruciating pain as cock and butt plug meet, separated by a thin layer of skin. "Oh God...." Honey gasps, He fucks me hard. He fucks me fast. He keeps hold of thighs the entire time, keeping them spread as far as they will spread. Once again, as he nears orgasm, he pulls himself away from me. My pussy is sopping wet. The feeling of being double-penetrated was both painful and exhillerating. I want more. Suddenly, there is an explosion.

I hear before I realize my ass is on fire. Then another explosion. I feel it this time. Honey lays across the backs of legs again as he assaults my ass with one of the new lexan paddles. I don't know which one it is but it hurts and stings. Lexan has a very unique feel. Ungiving. Unyielding. The holes give it an added sting. Honey doesn't wait between swats. Ten times without pause. I groan with each swat. Honey isnt being gentle. Honey is working toward bruises. His swats are hard. I think my ass is going to explode...and then you stop. There is a moment's pause and then I feel your tongue. Inside my pussy, flicking across my clit, sucking at my clit, teasing my clit, then back inside my pussy. My ass is on fire but all I can think about is how insane with passion Honey is making me.

Before I know what is happening, it starts all over again. I don't realize at first that I am screaming with each swat. Its a different lexan paddle. Once again, Honey is holding my legs against my body. I thrash about but I'm no real threat. I lose count after the fourth swat. I am lost in a world of pain and passion. Honey is spanking me with the butt plug in me. It adds to the pain and the pleasure.

I am becoming just a heaving heap of sensations. After a ruthless spanking, Honey breaks to fuck me again. I can feel my body being pounded by Honey's weight. Honey is fucking me hard. When he pulls away, it is sudden and the pain begins again. Over and over, spanking and fucking, spanking and fucking. I am sweating all over. Still spanking and fucking. I lose track of the different implements. All four of our Lexan paddles, I think the holy wooden paddle, the leather strap, the cane...those are the ones I recognize. After a good, hard caning, pull the butt plug from my ass. It hurts so much more coming out than going in, but I feel empty. Honey takes the opportunity to spank my battered ass with one more implement before he buries his cock up my ass. He holds my legs by the back of my knees and fucks my ass, the two of us face to face, me still blindfolded, hands still tied. My body shakes under the weight. Honey reaches up and unties my right hand. My ass aches...ALL of it. My clit is fully engorged and screaming for relief. My hand goes straight to my clit while Honey continues to plunder my asshole. It doesn't take long before Honey and I are both heaving with oncoming orgasms. Honey starts to come first. His climax and the feel of his cum inside my ass, his pelvis pressing against my burning and beaten ass sets off my own explosive orgasm. We collapse in semi-bound heap, Honey on top of me, both of us trying to regain our breath. Honey removes my blindfold and unbounds the rest of my ties. We lay together and slowly drift off, still holding one another.

The Spanking Game

2007-09-16T13:48:00.000-07:00

Since i am such a coward, more often than not, if asked if I want to be spanked (we use "playtime" as a code word) I will invariably say no. Sometimes I mean it. Sometimes its just a panic response. Of course I don't WANT to be spanked. It hurts! Would it have beneficial rewards if we did? Most likely. I liked what Nikki Flynn had to say about spanking, in particular severe spankings. This is a near quote, maybe even an exact one but it went something like this "Do I like pain? Of course not. Its not the BEING spanked I like. Its the after effects." I love THINKING about being spanked. I like fantasizing about being spanked. I like all the things that come after...the bruising, the soreness, the feeling that I have a secret that is only shared by me and Honey. I like that it makes me horny thinking about being handled by Honey, ass in the air, while he reigns down blow after blow of....well, anything. His hand, a paddle, a cane...anything that will leave my ass red and owey.

Now that I have established I am a coward that enjoys THINKING about being spanked far more than I like being spanked (until after the deed is done) I have come up with a plan. A solution for Honey and myself. In my fantasy world, I get spanked everyday. However, if a lady is to be spanked everyday, it takes the specialness out of it. And it becomes routine. To avoid something as special as an ass beating becoming routine, I propose a game. Honey and I have many many many many spanking implements. Each has been used and each has its time, some more often than others, some more heartily than others. I propose we make up two or three bowls with little slips of paper in them. One bowl contains the name of ALL of our spanking implements, including belts and wooden spoons (so much fun with things around the house).

In another bowl, we could put numbers 1 -15...maybe higher. That would be the number of times my ass was to become intimately introduced to the particular implement drawn from blow #1.

Bowl #3 would be optional. It would have positions. Since Honey and I are usually in agreement about positions, i dont see this as a necessity, even for a coward like me, but it might prove interesting. I know I HATE to do that "touching toes" thing. It makes me feel silly, seems impersonal and hurts like hell....so bowl #3 has possibilities. Perhaps we could use it "on special occasions"....like when we are having an indecisive day.

As I write this, Honey and I are awaiting the newest of implements that I felt the need to buy. Its seems the more pain and bruising potential, the more I want the implement...but then when it gets here, I don't want to use it. Such is life I guess. If I buy them, Honey makes sure they get used at least every once in a while. Just goes to prove that old addage, be careful of what you ask for for you may surely get it. Actually, I think it gives new meaning to the addage. When the new toys get here, I know my ass is in for it because I have made Honey hold off on doing anything until they do get here. The Coward in me is freaking just slightly because there are 3! Yes, I did say 3! new and painful toys headed my way and I know Honey will want to try them out to their fullest extent when they get here, which is only fitting. My ass, however, may disagree by the end of the week.

Uniform Fantasy

2007-09-09T01:05:00.000-07:00

Honey knows most of my fantasies. I am going to share one with him now that he is not aware of...and I hope others will enjoy it as well. If anyone actually acts this out, or something similar, or just wants to share a fantasy with me (and one that perhaps Honey and I could act out)I would love to hear about it.

Its the uniform. Any uniform will do it. Women (and men) all over the word know what I am talking about. Its the image of authority. The policeman. The general. The warden. I fantasize still about being spanked every day, sometimes a gentle spanking, sometimes a more frantic spanking. This is the way this fantasy runs:

I start out by preparing my "costume" while you are gone. I know that because of the nature of your job, you have the ability to "drop in" periodically thoughout your workday. I never know when that will be. I never know how often. I shower and find my best subtle hint clothing...(did I mention that I finally got the spanking pantaloons that I wanted? A very nice reader sent me a very nice message about where she got hers. I still had her message up while I was ordering them. They arrived in record time. I was absolutely thrilled. Honey and I have tried them out already and I meant to blog about it but honestly, things have been a little hectic around the house.) I put them on with the hopes that I won't have to verbalize what I want from you. I put my hair in pigtail braids while it is still wet as I know you love to see when I am in a spanking mood. I find a nice chemise to wear over my pantaloons so you can have easy access to my bottom and my womanly parts but I don't have to worry about being embarassed if someone other than Honey drops by. I find just the implements. There are so many to choose from these days...and more on the way....I don't really feel like a "bruise my ass" spanking...I just want to be spanked hard enough to feel it until the next time you can "drop by." I decide to leave different implements around various parts of the house. At the end of the day, I have big plans but this is just foreplay. I leave the dogleg brush and the plastic hairbrush in the living room. I am hoping you will saunter in in your uniform, recognize my clothing and hair for what it is, find the implements and take me into your hands...or should I say over your knee...and introduce my bottom to the first of what I hope will be several spankings throughout the day. I want you, in your uniform, to lay me across one leg while you hold my legs down with the other. I want you to be prepared to take hold of my wrist if I try to shield my bottom from you. I want to be taken by you.

The single thing I don't think I have ever told you, even after all these years of being together, is that I chose you as my lifemate because you are the only man I have ever known who could dominate me...not just in the bedroom, but physically and emotionally, you are stronger than I am...and I find that oh so sexy. This part I have told you. You make me feel secure. You make me feel safe. When you are questioning whether I trust you or not (during our aggressive foreplay or in life in general), rest assured....you have my utter and total trust and faith. If this were not the case, I wouldn't be able to share all my deep, dark secrets with you. I certainly would not have been able to share my fantasies with you. And I would NEVER allow someone I didn't trust to put me over their knee in such a vulnerable position. I trust you with my bottom, I trust you with my body, I trust you with my life.

I leave the two brushes on your little table in the living room and I settle in at my laptop to "get in the mood" by reading blogs and watching videos...waiting for you to come in. I start to lose hope that you are getting the chance to come by at all when I hear your car drive up. I get butterflies. I have a brief, fleeting thought about hiding the brushes but I realize it really wouldn't do any good since all of me and my look at the moment is screaming for a spanking. You open the door and holler "Honey? " I call to you from the living room but with no hint in my voice at what you are going to find. You enter with a big smile on your face that only gets broader and brighter as you take in the site of me...and then the brushes. "Whats this, little girl" you say in a teasing voice. "My brush" I reply to you in the most innocent, childlike voice I can muster. "Is someone having ideas?" you query. "Maybe...." I answer, suddenly losing my nerve. You sit at your usual spot and eye the brushes. "Are you thinking you need BOTH of these to be used?" you ask me. All I can do is look at you wordlessly. Suddenly, I don't know what I want. The butterflies in my stomach increase. "If you don't tell me what you want, it will be my choice," you warn me. "I just wanted..." and I falter. "Yes?" you say to me. "I don't have all day. Get over here. Obviously, you are in need of a little attention." I walk over to you hesitantly. You show me your lap. "Come on...." you tell. "I don't have all day." I look at your lap uncertainly. I take a deep breath and remind myself that I am the one that started this. As I start to lay myself over your leg, I tell you "I was thinking a little spanking off and on today might be nice?" It comes out as a question. Ten minutes before I couldn't wait for you to come home and start the spanking. Now that you are here, I feel fear taking me. You position me over your leg so my waist is on your leg, my top half hanging over so I can reach the floor. You place your free leg over my legs, as I have told you I want you to do. I usually want this when I want a hard spanking but you have chosen to do this all the time so I don't freak at the last minute before a spanking. If I never know if its going to be a hard spanking or a little spanking, I won't fight nearly as much. Its my flight or fight syndrome that works on impulse. I have no control over it. You know that though because you know me so well.

Once you have me situated, you raise my chemise. You move the opening in the pantaloons to either side. It feels like a curtain opening on "Let's Make a Deal." "Mmmmmmmmmm" I feel the rumble rather than hear the sound as you rub your hand across my now bared bottom. I get goosebumps. No matter how big or how small my ass gets, you let me know you enjoy it. "So my Baby thinks she needs a spanking...." you taunt me as your hand rubs back and forth across the surface of my pristine ass. It has been too long since we played spanking games. I can't say anything. My head is in that space between "Beat me hard..." and "What the hell was I thinking?" "Just a little spanking, you said..." you continue to taunt me. I find some semblence of my voice. "Yes," I squeak out. "I don't know," you tease. "Seems to me when a little girl asks for a spanking, she should get exactly what she asks for..." I tense up. Then I feel something cool on my ass. Honey is oh so fond of rubbing the implements on my ass before using them. I think I recognize this one but I'm not positive. The two hairbrushes feel very much alike when they are being rubbed against my skin. "I think I can oblige you," Honey says as I feel his arm preparing to start reigning down blows. I forget to breathe. I hear the first impact before I actually feel it. It makes a loud crashing noise throughout the empty house. Then the sting starts. Its the plastic hairbrush. This is one of my all-time favorites in those times when I want to be spanked but I don't want to be seriously hurt...those times when I want to be spanked hard but I don't want it to leave long lasting bruises. I like bruises...but there are times that my bottom is almost a public display and I would hate to have to explain bruising. I am a serious closet spanko (unless that one couple really found this site, in which case I only think I am closet spanko, but I don't think they would share my secret for obvious reasons....but I digress) and I'm not any hurry to come out of the closet. Honey has chosen the perfect implement. The plastic brush. He proceeds to spank my bottom, first one cheek, then the other, back and forth. He gets to around twenty swats and stops. "Is this what you were wanting, Baby?" Honey asks me. I shake my head yes because I can't respond verbally. My words have all dried up. I can feel the warmth, gently, on the surface of my bottom. I can feel an equal amount of warmth starting between my legs. I haven't figured out exactly what the connection is between the pain in my ass and the wetness of my womanhood (and many many many others that I have read about...enough to make me think it happens to all women), but I get incredibly wet when I'm spanked, even when I'm not enjoying the spanking. Honey inspects the color of my cheeks. They have become a nice, pretty pinkish color. "Do you want more?" Honey asks me. In my mind, there is a war of voices, one saying yes, please, the other saying no thank you. "Silly question....." Honey answers himself. "I can tell by looking at your ass that you need more." The plastic brush has been a nice, slightly stingy sensation. Only the slightest bit painful. More of an irritation. With the first WHACK, I can tell this second round is not going to be so pleasant. As Honey begins to warm up my bottom, he fills my ears with his plans "That was just a little warm up, Baby. So is this." Honey has moved on to the wooden, dogleg brush. What a silly girl I was to bring out that one. The blows are heavier, the wooden paddle is more treacherous. The dogleg brush thuds each time it makes contact with my bottom. The leg that Honey was using to hold my legs down was only for show with the plastic brush. With this brush, my legs try to kick, I try to squirm, but Honey holds me mostly in place until he decides to let me up. He has leveled a solid twenty more swats before he breaks. "Okay...I think that should do you for the moment," Honey tells me as he helps me back to feet. Instinctively, my hands cup my achy behind. I can feel heat coming from the cheeks. There is a dull ache on each side. "Let me see" Honey instructs me now that I am standing. I turn around and lift my chemise so he can make a visual inspection. "Not too bad....for now," Honey says, obviously proud of his work. I am now as amorous as a girl can get but Honey is working, so we cannot engage in our marital benefits. Instead, I collapse between your knees. Your hands go immediately to my breasts and begin a rough massage, just the way I like it, as I unbutton and unzip your pants. I proceed to show you how grateful I am by worshipping your cock. I use it like a lollipop, licking each and every bit I can reach before taking you into my mouth. I bob up and down briefly before you stop me, afraid that I might hurt myself. You take over the motion, which turns me on even more. You slide off your couch to a standing position while I kneel in front of you. You fuck my mouth slowly, gently. Your cock slides easily across my tongue and down my throat. You push your cock against the back of my throat as far as you can. I have to concentrate hard not to gag. You hold your cock in my throat, I swallow, you moan. The pace picks up little by little until I can feel your orgasm drawing near. You are so careful with me, so careful not to hurt me. I really want you to fuck my mouth like you used to but I know we can't do that yet. I hold my mouth open for you to fuck as deep as you want. As you get close to climax, you pull your cock out of my mouth and jack off in front of me. My mouth is open, waiting. When you start to come, I let you come where ever you want to start and then I wrap my lips around you to accept the rest. I continue to lick until your orgasm passes. You drop back onto your couch and I move in between your legs for an afterglow embrace.

"Wait til I get home tonight" you promise me. "Then we are really going to have some fun. Until then, I will drop in when I can. Be ready. If you don't have anything picked out when I get here, its MY choice," you warn me. After your breath slows and your senses return, you get ready to leave again. I have a full day waiting for me...and I can't wait!

In My Spare Time....

2007-07-30T22:06:00.000-07:00

As I announced previously, I am temporarily out of service due to surgery. This unfortunate bit of news does not stop me from getting very VERY horny. My clit is crying out to have attention paid to it. As I surfed the internet for good porn clips and spanking videos, hott spanking blogs that included hott sex, I found myself all but crazy to get fucked. I also found myself very very disappointed that one of my FAVORITE sites, Lupus, has been plagued with a Trojan virus. How terribly unfair life is. I want to be spanked most when my husband isn't home. I want to make love most when I can't. Just thinking about Honey's hard cock makes all my private areas warm and twitchy, craving attention in so many ways, and Honey won't hardly touch me right now out of fear of hurting the area fixed by surgery. He may be right but sense and sanity go by the wayside when hormones take over.

As I have also mentioned in the past, I like really hard, really rough sex. Maybe this has something to do with my spanking kink. I like to be taken. I like to be taken in the ass most of all. If you want to know the truth, I like to start with having my face fucked deep and hard. Then I like to move on other parts of the body. This is the flexible part of my lustful desires. I don't care what Honey does to me after face-fucking as long as it involves some kind of penetration in some part of my body or clitoral stimulation. This is a good time for Honey to play out his fantasies. Once in the mood, spanking my ass followed by a little tongue or digital penetration and manipulation and then back to spanking will shoot me into a fevered pitch in no time at all. I soon become just a ball of paralyzed frenitic lust. All orifices are available, willing and ready for Honey to penetrate.

I crave having his cock buried deeply in my hot, throbbing ass, pumping in and out, taking my breath away. I crave the orgasm that starts in clit but runs through me from head to toe and back again.

Not yet....but soon...

BLOGATHON

2007-07-25T15:09:00.000-07:00

What a wonderful idea! Here I was, surfing around the internet, reading and recouping and this is what I come across. I wish I had found it sooner. I would certainly have tried to get involved. I am a firm believer in donating to charities. I truly believe that medication foundations are sorely in need of money and funding. AIDS/HIV is disease close to my heart. Everybody knows someone who has died of it. I think its a crime that we have gone this long without a cure. I'm not even sure if I believe that a cure hasn't been found yet. If its true that one hasn't, why aren't scientists all over the globe NOT working day and night to find a cure? Why aren't all governments all over the globe paying researchers to work round the clock to find a cure?

I'm not going to sit here and pretend that I know anything. I don't know if there are different strains of HIV like there are of cancer. Maybe there are some cures out there but not for all. Cancer research should be funded round the clock to find a cure. I know I believe in my heart that cures have been found for cancer but there isn't enough money to be made off cures. There is lots of money to be made off treating. I know that is a conspiracy-theory-liberal attitude. It hurts my conservative republican core to say things like that. I have to though. I am not a 100% conservative republican so I have to say these things.

I think private funding is the only way cures for these horrible deseases are going to be found. Blogging for charity is a fantastic idea. I like the idea of a blogathon but I like the idea of putting a little ad up on the blogs we write saying something like..."If you like this blog, please donate to my favorite charity" and listing your favorite charity. Can you imagine if all the money that is PAID to join sites was going toward each persons favorite charity how well funded those charities would be? If each person that visited our blogs gave $1 once a month, think about how quickly that would add up for our pet charities. Interesting idea. So, having said that, I will not be participating as a blogger this year, but I will be thinking ways to become more active. I have a few that I would like to see funded better. Anyway, blogger or just enjoyer, slide on over to this Blogathon website and get involved!

http://www.blogathon.org/index.php

TEMPORARILY OUT OF SERVICE

2007-07-22T13:10:00.000-07:00

Such sad words to share but absolutely true. I am not available to be used or abused for the next couple of weeks, at least. The surgery was done. I was petrified but I came through it, all went well and I am now in recovery mode. Due to the nature of the surgery (or any surgery for that matter) it would not be wise to play until I am completely healed. Explain this to me...if you can...Why is it one is always the horniest when one cannot partake? Not fair really. And I'm pretty sure there isn't even a way to "satisfy" those urges for a week or two more...if I could satisfy them at all. Sometimes when I am heavily medicated, I can't achieve orgasm no matter how hard or long I try. That only makes the desire/need worse.

So, I probably won't be blogging much in the next few weeks. If I do, it will all be fantasy stuff. I do fantasy stuff very well (I think...and more importantly, Honey thinks). It will give Honey something to look forward to, as well. In fact, I'll probably have to be very careful about the contents of the fantasies. Honey also tends to want to act out my fantasies...even when I tell him they are ONLY fantasies.

I'll have to use past pictures, since there won't be any current ones but I have lots, as I recently noticed when I was going through trying to figure out what I want to keep and throw out. I have rather interesting ones, in fact.

Thats it for now. Hopefully I can write something fun for all soon.

Oh What Fun

2007-07-11T08:11:00.000-07:00

Honey and I are trying to make sure that we get in all the playtime we can before I become incapacitated, temporarily out of commission, unavailable for use. Unfortunately, it seems Honey and I are passing some serious cold, throat, fever, feeling yucky crap back and forth and it most certainly kills the mood...well, mostly kills the mood.

It was actually pretty funny. While at work, I was reading a book. I have the luxury of doing that on some days even though I have a very busy, very high-stress job. There are lulls. I was deeply engrossed in this book, my favorite way to read (one of my favorite sayings about books is that books are like a favorite dish. You should be able to savor every morsel and completely ravage every page. Hubby and I can't share paperbooks because he hates having the spine broken and I think it should be completely broken if you really enjoy it). I had the perfect little "in the space" thing going. I mean, I was there. I was a part of the action going on in the book. I was one of the character. Then suddenly I got an overlay movie. It is the best way I can describe it. It was like having two movies playing on a screen, one on top of the other. It was an amazing sight. I could see Honey playing very rough with me. I mean very rough. It started with me leaning up against our headboard, Honey in front of me, fucking my mouth. My hands were tied to the headboard, and he was holding on, hands on either side of my head, varying back and forth between gently fucking my mouth, sliding his cock slowly and gently as far as it would go to roughly, passionately fucking my mouth, bringing himself to the verge of orgasm before suddenly pulling his cock completely from my mouth.

I had to stop several times in my reading to re-establish where I was and what I was doing. Then I would start reading again. The next time I was heavily engrossed in my book, suddenly I had visions of being dragged across Honey's lap, having my bottom beaten into shades of red I have never seen before. I was kicking and fighting and he was holding, spanking me with sometimes with a paddle, sometimes with a hairbrush, telling me to quit fighting, which of course I couldn't do. He swatted a few times, then told me to quit kicking, swatted a few more times, told me to quit fighting, swatting a few more times...it was really hot....

And I had to shake my head to clear it again.

Finally I decided to write it down to give to Honey for his reading enjoyment when he found himself bored at work. He loves when I write things like for him and I write them often. I was just really getting into the writing, it was really getting into the great details that Honey so enjoys (if there is one thing I write well, its porn) when I got interrupted for a day of crap at work. It was a really bad day.

When I got home, it seemed Honey and I had the same ideas. It took us a while to get around to it but boy oh boy did we have fun. We did, in fact, start out with Honey fucking my mouth. He likes to try to gag me...I don't gag easily. He fucked my mouth for quite some time and both of us were heaving passion pits when he finally withdrew himself from my face. He asked me if I wanted to lay across his lap or be in doggie style. I told him it was entirely up to him. He chose doggie style. I know some of the things he used but I'm not sure about all. He made me extremely comfortable even though he tied one wrist to my thigh and the other to the headboard. Then he proceeded to use a wide array of implements on my ass. He started out somewhat gently (depending on your definition of gentle). I know I felt a wooden paddle with holes, a wooden paddle without holes, a hairbrush though I don't know which one...the wood one I think because the other one has more spring to it. There was a cane. He loves cane welts but after a while, you lose the ability to see the stripes and can only see red ass. I believe I felt a lexan paddle (far preferrable to a lexan cane, by the way) and a couple of different straps. I generally like leather straps. I generally like them a lot. Anyway, once Honey got started, he kept going for a long time. I lost count. He lost count. He finally got to the point where he just wanted to hear me make noise. Once subspace kicks in (I think that's what it is anyway), I quit making noise...period. I told him those are the times he should take advantage of the situation because he can do just about anything and as hard as he wants and I'm not going try to stop him. For all the pounding he did on my ass, you would really think it would look much worse, but here's a little example.

Usually we give my ass a break after a night like that. We did some serious spanking, whaling and fucking...you know, the kind that makes you sore the next day. If my Love is going to wail away on my ass, I fully expect to feel it for a day or two when I sit down. He did a pretty good job too. We like to take pictures in the middle, at the end and then the next day or two. Well, the non-red ass is at about the 24 hour mark. Nice bruises but nothing too extreme...some tell-tale signs of wear and tear (pun intended).
But later that evening, you know, like the 26 hour mark, Honey decided we could do better. I won't say he "wailed away" on my ass on the second day but approximately 30 swats he landed on my ass, I think he used a wooden paddle with holes, the leather strap (always good for a nice rosy shine) and Bruiser, which I was none too happy about, we of course had to consummate the foreplay. FINALLY, I got Honey, the camera and me all in the same vicinity and now I have some really dirty shots. Honey got to be the camera man since he is the Dom and I am the sub....and my back was to him the whole time. I have all kinds of sweet, smutty pictures that make me horny just looking at them. These are pictures I have wanted for quite some time. Of course, they are for me and Honey and no one else, but I can't tell you how much I love to see what he was doing to me. Its just soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo hott! Honey really does take full advantage of all of my body parts.
Some day I'm going to get brave enough to let Honey really do what he wants...all of what he wants (except nipple clamps...long story but they are completely intolerable to me). I look forward to the day that we are by ourselves in our house and he decides to spank me "the way he really wants to..." He has a thing about making me cry. I don't think its possible. I guess its a challenge. Either way, I want him to be able to smack around on my ass and my give vocal appreciation, or disapproval (same thing really) without fear of who may hear. I think it will certainly add something to the experience.

For those of you that have ever seen the lupus pictures, when they cane a girl, her ass turns black in the cane stripes. I want that. When they paddle a girl, her ass is bruised in ways I have never seen before. I want that too. I really really do look forward to it. I don't know who looks forward to it more...me or Honey. In the meantime, we will have to settle for semi-severe, Lupus pictures and Girls Boarding School to appease those desires.

How do you know?

2007-06-23T23:18:00.000-07:00

Does anybody else notice those strange little twinges when your bottom needs attention? With mine, there is an odd stingy feely that starts happening...like its already had attention but it hasn't so it needs it. The real bitch of this is that it usually happens the strongest when Honey isn't home or when he is in bed and I'm not. I'm one of those females that is up for sex more often than not but spanking...well, if you want to know the truth, I'm up for it way more often than I can force myself to admit. Its a lot like when we first started buttfucking (that as crude a word as I can come up with that so wholeheartedly describes the decadent feeling I get from it). I could almost never tell Honey that was what I wanted and a lot of times I didn't even REALIZE that was what I wanted (and just as often needed) until he kind of pressed the issue...or just went ahead and did it whether I wanted him to or not. As it turned out, I always wanted him to, I just didn't always know it until we were in the throes of it and I would be panting and sweating and all these strange sexual animal noises would be floating around the room and I would realize they were ME...and I was loving every second of it. And then the nuclear explosion would happen behind my eyelids from the earth-shattering orgasm I was having! I see our spanking adventures going this way as we speak. I want it was more often than I can admit. I always like it when we do, and although I don't admit it often, I like when he starts out hard. I hate it and I love it. I hate it because it hurts like a sonofabitch. I love it because it leaves me wanting more.

I love when my ass has been attacked so hard that I can feel it for days when I sit down. I love when I can look in the mirror and see something like <--------....that was 4 days later, just before it started going away. I could still feel it that day too. I keep wanting Honey to grab hold of my waist and lay 3 or 4 or 5 really hard whacks across it with some kind of wooden implement (preferrably not Bruiser. I still think that one is dangerous.) Toy says I wouldn't like the thinner lexan cane and she is probably right (she has been about everything else so far) but I think eventually Honey is going to have to have one because I am going to have to have one. Idon't care fothe heavy one at all but its the heavy thud I don't like. I think there is at least hte possibility that I might like the lighter weight one better. I am gaining a greater appreciation for rattan everytime we try it.

Did anybody happen to see any of the recent Girls Boarding School beltings? I am a strap fan. Why? Because after wood, rattan, or Lexan, leather is a gentle massgae...and when applied correctly, it leaves its own pretty little marks. I like for my ass to get really really hot before Honey sticks his cock inside me. Oh man, do I like that. I haven't shared this with him yet (although he'll know it once he reads this) but his idea of hot and my idea of hot are way different. He is getting pretty seriously turned on at about half the temperature I am looking for. I want to feel serious searing. I want to know what my ass looks like even before I go look at it. I like it all toasted up and then fucked. Its just my kinky idea of a good time.

This is an odd show. It is "The Vagina Monologue." THE "Vagina Monologue." A Vagina Monologue. This woman is talking about hair. Well SHE is talking about hair. You have to love hair to love a vagina. Is this true? I am kind of ambivalent about it. I don't like men's scrotum's shaved. I like the hair on a man...even if being hairless does make a penis look bigger. I assure you, no matter what the aesthetics, it isn't going any deeper or any wider. I like the hair on my man. I like it on his chest. I like it around his penis. I like it ON him. I like the way it feels when it rubs. I like it best when it rubs against my very warm, very red bottom. As for my own hair...

I shave. I shave because Honey likes for me to shave. I shave because I have shaved so long now that if I don't shave, I itch. I like the way Honey's hair feels when I am freshly shaved. I like the way Honey's tongue feels when I am freshly shaved.

This is the like the extended version of The Vagina Monologues. I am most disappointed because they did the Vagina Monologues in my hometown and I so very much wanted to audition. I feel sure I would have gotten a part. Let me move on into two more subjects here in reference to the Vagina Monologues before I move back to spanking.

Eve Ensler is the name of the lady doing this show. I am amazed and I'm wondering why nobody ever had the balls (or should that be ovaries) to do this show before? She has just mentioned, and I do mean MENTIONED that in her dealings with many many many women she only met one woman who not been molested...at LEAST molested as a young girl or a young woman. I realize this is not a political forum. It is not meant to be a political forum and I have completely veered from sexy story today to moving into a very political forum but because I know there are at least as women reading my stories as there are men looking at my very bruised ass (by bruised by choice ass) I think I can say this. Eve talks about rape. Rape is a horrible thing and I will talk about that in a moment but for just this moment, just this second, I want to talk about molestion.

I have met two women in my lifetime that claim that were not molested as children. One I am sure is lying. I believe she was not only molested but that she was raped by more than one of her brothers. She keeps everything close to the heart, she is in her late 40's, has only had sex a couple of times, does not masturbate (because she says it just makes not having the real thing worse) but she's too uptight to get the real thing....very often. She is in her late 40's, heterosexual and can count the times she has made love on one hand. I think its very sad. She has a heart (and a vagina) that is desperate to give, but has become so enbittered by life and her own insecurities that I don't think she will either have the things she needs most...and I have spent years trying to figure out how to help her open up without realizing that is what is happening to her. I have not succeeded. The other lady that claimed to not have ever been molested...maybe she was, maybe she wasn't. I suspect she was also but I don't know it. It was very strange for me when I started asking woman this question. I don't even know I started asking.. I think it was because of my line of work. I think it was because we had a serial rapist in town at that time. I think its because I am exposed to the stories so often that one would think you would become almost immune to it...but you never do when it involves children. Girls get molested. If you have a daughter, she will probably be molested and no matter how hard you try to keep it from happening, it will probably happen anyway...and if she is lucky, it will only happen once and it will not completely scar her soul forever. It will scar. It will become part of who she is when she grows up. I was molested when I was a little girl. I never told anyone. Eventually, I ventured so far as to admit that I was molested but I never told anyone when, where, how or who...ever. Now here is the really strange part. No one ever asked. How many other women out there are sitting back right now thinking about the having been molested, about the fact that they didn't tell anyone, and that when they did, nobody asked for the details (unless it was a therapist you told.) Is this a bad thing? Probably. I'm not a psychologist or psychiatrist. I am just a woman. Once was commited by someone who should havae known better...by someone who knew that what he was doing was wrong...as did the other men that were in the room. Another time was by inflicted upon me by children. They didn't know better. It had been inflicted upon them and they did not know they were doing anything wrong...or maybe they did since I was taken into a closet but I don't believe any of the children involved were old enough to understand the significance of what was going on.

Then there were the teenage years. I was not raped. Well, I was not raped in the traditional sense. I was never forced to have sex with a male although it came very close. I ran with a rougher crowd for a few years and you would think that I would have learned, and eventually I guess I did because I quit running with that group, but I had "things" shoved inside me more than once, not by choice. I was "rescued" several times. I was very lucky. Some of the other girls that ran in the same crowd were not so lucky. They were raped, some violently and brutally...and I know that as of several years after it happened, the only ones that knew were the very tight crowd that all hung together. I don't even know if the girls considered it rape at the time. I think they mostly considered it stupidity on their part. As an adult now, I can look back and see the post-traumatic responses that they were exhibiting. Even as a young and experienced adult female, I found myself in situations that could easily have been prosecuted as rape, but I prefer to think of as bad judgment. Perhaps that is why after my horrible first marriage to a man that I thought I was so in love with who showed his love for me by beating me up steadily worse over the course of the time we were together...because I just wouldn't understand how much he loved me...that I wasn't so thrilled about the idea of dating again. I didn't really want to get back into that "pool" and swim again. It took my relationship and subsequent marriage to Honey to help me not only understand myself (in ways that he doesn't know he helped me) but realize how incredibly lucky I am that I found one of those patient, loving, gentle (when I want him to be) REAL men in the world that you hear about, that they write fairytales about, that fifteen years ago I would have sworn didn't exist except in my brother and gay men, and not even all gay men. I found the needle in the haystack. Or maybe he found me. I was such the damsel in distress and Honey has always been a knight in shining armor. He knew I was in distress but I think, maybe even now, he doesn't know how desperately in distress I was. So back to our daughters, our sisters, even our mothers, look around you, think about your own life, how many women do you know that have not been molested, not been raped, not been abused? Its hard to be a woman in this world. We are the weaker sex. But are we? Physically, obviously we are. Is there anything that makes you feel more helpless than having a man pick you up against your will and carry you off...to anywhere? Even when they are only being playful with you, it is the moment you realize, as a woman, how vulnerable you really are.

I mentioned my line of work. I said I deal with maladies that befall women more often than I should like....obviouly I am not going to say what my line of business is but having said that much, in contrast to the amount of women that I KNOW have been molested and/or raped in their lifetimes, I can tell you beyond any shadow or doubt that the real ones are seldom, VERY seldom reported. This makes my heart hurt. How are women to truly understand themselves and our world if we never talk about what happens to us? Did you ever report to your parents, your teachers, the police, a counselor, even a friend what happened to you? I know I didn't. Oh, there are a couple of things that I encountered that I talk about...technically rape but in my head stupidity. There are reasons that I would never report these particular instances...one, I felt as responsible for what happened as they were. I wasn't violently forced to have sex. I felt like I had led these men on unintentionally. I was terribly naive. They did not take no for an answer, which I realize makes it TECHNICALLY rape. One, I was so drunk that I vaguely remember saying no before I passed out, but when I woke up I was naked and obviously there had a penis that had ejaculated inside me. That was weird. It is also considered rape in this day and age. My moral and ethical question to myself was and would still be "Could you ruin the rest of a man's life for doing something that he never realized you didn't approve of?" In these cases, the answer was no. There was once or twice that was borderline but I was lucky enough that it never crossed over. As I said, there were those that I knew that there was NO question that the males involved KNEW they were forcing hte female, the female fought, she was absolutely raped. Date rape...tough call...but if you ask me, when a man holds you down to "make love" to you, you have the right to file charges. Do these cases get reported? No. Not often anyway. The ones that get reported are the ones...let me give an example here. A young soldier, fresh out of basic training, 18 years old goes to one of his first parties on one of his very first leaves after basic. It is being thrown by some girls. A pretty young girl makes friendly with this young soldier. They talk and get drunk together. During the course of the conversation, the subject of age comes up. They find out they are both 18 years old. Hey! They have something in common. As they get drunker, they get friendlier. They begin to kiss. The kissing becomes more intimate. The young soldier gets brave and begins to fondle the girl. He starts with her breasts, first over her clothes, then under. As the petting gets more intimate, his hand moves down. He undones her pants. She does not resist. He sticks his hand down her pants. She does not resist. He "fingers" her. For anyone who might not understand, he penetrates her vagina with a finger or two. Since they have been drinking, this is as far as they get before she has to go pee. She goes to the bathroom and there is a small amount of blood. She freaks out. She finds her sister. She tells her sister what has occurred, but the story begins to change. The sister becomes angry and calls the police. When the police get there, the story now goes something along the line of this: Big sister tells the police that she is having a party for some new basic trainees. Most are not old enough to drink but they are drinking anyway. One of these young men got drunk and forced himself on her 15 year old sister. Big sister signs a complaint of rape by instrumentation. The police go looking for the young man, who is still in at the party, still having a good time and has no idea he is in trouble until he is approached by the officers who tell him they are placing him under arrest and advise him of what he is being charged with. The boy is away from his family. The military is not much help to him at this point because it is a criminal charge that occurred off post. He shouldn't have been drinking. This 18 year old boy, who had no idea that he had been being friendly with a 15 year old, not 18 year old girl, ended up pleaded guilty to a single charge of rape by instrumentation (his finger) and will forever more be labeled as a registered sex offender. This is the kind of rape that gets reported. Wives that get caught or afraid they are going to get caught cheating on their husbands. These get reported as rapes. Prostitutes that can't get their money from their customers report this as rape. I'm not talking about prostitutes that have truly been raped. This does happen. If you think the average "real" rape is violent and brutal on an average women, you should see what happens to prostitutes when they really get raped. Its enough to make even the biggest asshole rescind his opinion that prostitutes can't be raped. I assure you, they can.

Now that I have this oh-my-God rant, let me see if I can't bring this back to our spanking topic. Believe it or not, I think I can. Most of us spankos like to be forced to some extent. We like to be hurt to some extent. Im sure there is some psychological answer for it that has something to do with the fact that most women are molested, raped, or otherwise abused as children and/or young women. I'm sure it plays into our psyche and creates our kinky needs and desires. As long as you have found a way to deal with the traumas that befall us as women, who really cares what or why we like it, we do. I don't think that any amount of psychoanalysis is going to change those desires. We may understand them better but I just don't see them going away. My Honey doesn't know EXACTLY what I want out of this spanking thing but neither do I. Its a journey. We didn't know exactly what we wanted out of our sex life either. I never thought I would like to have a man grab hold of my head and fuck my face as hard and deep as he could. I don't think I would like it with anyone but my Honey. But I LOVE it with him. It makes me wet. The only thing I don't like about it is that I have to make a choice between trying to get him to stop to fuck me because it makes me so horny or following my other overwhelming desire which is to have him shove his cock ALL the way down my throat and empty his cum into my mouth and then masturbate. It usually ends up in the latter because I just can't stop until he cums. My excitement rises with his and I WANT him to come in my mouth (the only man who has been allowed to do that as well...he is just altogether special.) I never thought I would like to be fucked really hard, I never thought I would like to have a cock shoved up my ass and pounded so hard it knocked the breath out of me. I DAMN sure never thought I would like cock shoved up my ass without lubrication...but guess what? I do. My very anal sex experience was a bad one. No lubrication, no warning, no warm-up...not nearly enough experience on HIS part. I thought I was going to die, I thought I was going to be split open and I managed to cause they exit of his penis from my ass against his wishes...I took it seriously and seriously in a bad way. I think I had superfemalehuman strength at that moment. Now, some 25 years later, I like it. Do you think there is a correlation? I'm betting there is. This is what I think the future of our spanking adventures has in store, just from passed sexual experience. Honey and I will get to know each others desires and limitations better and better. He is still afraid of hurting me by accident. So am I, for that matter. He still doesn't know my limitations because I don't know my limitations. I know my fantasies are severe. My fantasies are severe enough to scare me. I came across Nikki Flynn. How fortuitous that was for me. She said it best I think. I don't like the pain. I hate it. I don't like being punished (or in my case, spanked because we don't punish). I like the AFTER EFFECTS. I like thinking about it afterward. I like the reminders when I sit down. I like looking in the mirror. I can masturbate to one of our (or watching someone elses) really severe spanking for months upon months, relieving it if it my own experience, putting myself in someone else's place if it is a severe movie I am watching. I look forward to the day that all the kids are out of the house all the time because right now it feels like pressure to play when the kids are out and that takes the fun out of it. I look forward to the day when Honey and I are alone in the house, we are both in the mood and I am free to have him whack on my ass the way he wants to, the way I want him to in my fantasies and I can make the noise that will be required for him to continue. If you can't voice the pain you are in, you can't be free to really enjoy the experience fully. There are forced boundaries right now because of the kids in the house that will not exist when they are gone. I don't want to be in so much pain that I cry out in pain, that I scream with swats, lashes or whacks...but I crave it. I anticipate it with both fear and lust. Someday...

This last picutre. It is a picture with the toys used to create the markings. Good idea or too much body involved? Its hard to get a decent shot without showing things (like faces) that are complete giveways.

Isn't it Amazing...

2007-06-20T03:53:00.000-07:00

This being day one, the day we played, spurred on by Bobbie's Dropseat Pants, Honey and I managed some pretty shades of red and ....what you call those other colors? Shades of blue? Purple? Obviously, we had LOTS of fun. I was pretty impressed when it was all over that night and I liked the overall feeling. Isn't it just amazing how the colors change in 24 hours or less! These next pictures are just the next day...Mere hours, if you think about it, since playtime! I like watching the changing colors. Does that make me a freak? OH wait, I think liking the cause qualifies me to begin with, doesn't it.

Things have been hectic around the homefront so I haven't been able to write much and it will quite likely stay this way for awhile. Unfortunately, it will be hit and miss (no pun intended...okay...maybe a tiny pun intended) when I can. I am awaiting imminent surgery and this is one of those scary ones. Everything should be fine and I should come out good as new in no time, but its still scary...and now Honey is afraid to touch me. Good thing we had playtime BEFORE we had the doctor's appointment.

Did I happen to mention that all these wonderful colors appeared by cane? I don't so much mind the rattan...okay, it depends on my mood but overall, really, since we got the Lexan, I don't mind the rattan much at all. Most of these love marks were done with rattan but Honey did sneak the Lexan in a few times...and let me tell you, there was NO doubt when he switched (again, no pun intended...okay, maybe a little pun intended). I was lucky. He didn't use the Lexan very much because he gave the rattan a serious workout...or was it my ass that got the workout? Both, I guess, would be more accurate. I liked it. He liked it. I'm going to have to find that Lexan (now he is hiding it from me) and REALLY hide it!

Hope you enjoy the pictures.

...Until next time (oh yeah, I do have more pictures to share...we took pictures into the 3rd or 4th day...very impressive...you can actually start SEEING the cane marks just before the bruising went away). So, more later.

New Pictures

2007-06-12T08:05:00.001-07:00

Remember the old saying "Be careful what you ask for for you may surely get it"? My goofy ass has been after Honey in very subtle ways for probably about a year to buy me a pair of Bobby's Dropseat Pants. I intend to someday make my own but I have a lot of things I intend to make someday...this isn't the day. Honey let me order up a new spanking site....Lupus Productions. For anybody that might not be familiar with Lupus/Rigid East, it is the most brutal spanking site I have come across yet. I love it. Brutal spanking turns me on in a HUGE way. Not that I want to be brutally spanked...usually...but I really like to watch it. I am in awe of the girls that are in many videos. I'm in awe of the fact that they just stand there and "handle" it. Yeah, they scream or cry or scream AND cry, but that's okay. They still handle it. I wish I could. Some of the girls have to be tied down. Well, I say they have to be. I don't know if they really have to be or not but they are and that is really really really cool. So we are right up in my fantasy life. #1: To be able to stand there and not freak out and tell Honey "Okay okay...STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" and to be tied down and forced into a really hard spanking. I can't do it mind you. Neither one. Honey can't tie me down because of physical problems (although he is coming up with some possibly feasible ideas around that) and outside of subspace, I'm a big weenie and usually cry uncle pretty darned quick. Its not that he doesn't get to do more once I get passed the serious pain (usually 10 to 30 seconds), and if I manage subspace, well, he has free reign then, but I am seriously bad about topping from the bottom. I don't apologize for this. We do this for fun and sometimes if I don't top from the bottom, I wouldn't have any fun. The end goal for this household is orgasm and if I have to top from the bottom (at least in the beginning) to get there, then so be it. Honey isn't always happy with it that way but he usually gets happy pretty quick.

So back to the story. One night Honey and I were watching some Lupus movies together and they have this great...I don't know what it but its, for my lack of knowledge, we'll call it a whipping table. It is curved in the middle, perfect for some poor unfortunate female to lay in with very strong looking legs. On the legs are leather buckles for the wrists and not quite ankles, more like mid-calf. It is one devilish looking and oh so provocative-looking piece of furniture. I want one. That isn't all I wanted while we were watching. In one scene (actually several scenes) the girl had one bloomers...knickers...pants...petticoats...whatever, that opened right at the butt. Perfect for both spanking AND fucking! I love them. I get wet just seeing them. So I tell Honey "Yeah, I've been hoping you would buy them for me forever now...for Christmas, for my birthday, for Mother's Day...whenever but noooooooooooooooooooooo....you just don't get the hint...or just don't buy them for me." Later that night, picture Honey at the computer looking very intense. We have separate computers, which is really fun (and funny) sometimes because we can IM to each other and I swear we aren't more than 6 feet apart. This way we can still both look at the computer, look at our separate things and still be in the same room together. And if we want to say something we don't want the kids to hear ("Honey, will you beat me with a cane tonight?" is just not easily said when you know you have two adult sons within hearing distance) we can IM it to each other. Yes, Honey bought me my dropseat pants. Not quite the ones I wanted, only because they didn't have the kind I wanted at the time. They came in the mail in a flash and both of us were SO excited...well, you can imagine. We had to try them out.

I don't have a picture I can show of them all pulled up and looking cute and adorable. I slipped them on when Honey wasn't looking, put a couple of good spanking movies on the computer and invited him to watch them with me. When he ran his hand up my leg, he realized I had changed into the brand new spanking pants. Needless to say, this was the start of a wonderful night. The next thing, Honey had retrieved a few choice toys from the bedroom, having found ourselves ALL alone in our house, and I ended up across Honey's lap. He took great joy is learning how the drop seat worked. He took equally great pleasure and wailing away on my ass with the hairbrush. I liked it.
Turned out I was way more in the mood than I thought. Honey found a few different things to use but he finally settled on a cane. Oh boy, did he settle on a cane. Rattan for the most part. If you look closely, often you can see the stripe marks but he whacked on my ass so long that eventually it just became two big red spots. Oh, it was really hot. I think I may have even STARTED in subspace because I could tell Honey was swinging hard by the movements in his body and of course, the oh-so-distinct whhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr of the cane as it is on its way to one's ass. Oh yeah, it was all there. And I loved every second of it. Most of it wasn't even particularly painful...just made me horny. There were a few whacks that were more painful than others but Honey was free to give it his best shot.

And he certainly did, too...several of his best shots...like well over a hundred. Some were harder than others but there was at least 3 times that I counted 50 strokes before he would take a break. As you can see in my pictures, my ass got quite red. Some of these pictures were taken in the middle of playtime and some after...wait til you see the pictures from the next day. We have been taking pictures every day because it bruised up so pretty. I may even have a hot little story to accompany the pics next time. For now, just enjoy the pics...and feel free to tell me what you think.

Continuation

2007-05-15T14:10:00.000-07:00

I hold my breath in anticipation. Honey rubs the cheeks of my bottom gently, tenderly.

WHACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It sounds like a gunshot in the room and rings through my body. "Ugh" comes out of me without my being able to stop it. He has swung hard and my ass is on fire. I can't tell what he used but I know its one of our wood paddles.

WHACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"OW!" My tone protests this assault. I get a reprieve. Honey moves around in front of me. He has decided to let the burn in my ass settle in. He moves directly in front of me. He has aligned my body so that my mouth is in the perfect position for his use. He knows how much I love to have my mouth fucked. Its not merely giving a blowjob. I don't control the action...he does. He puts his hand gently under my chin as he guides his cock to my mouth. I open without a word spoken between us. I hope my mouth open wide so he can slide his cock down as far as he wants. He goes deep. Not as deep as he could but all the way to the back of my throat. He moans. He bounces the tip against the back of my throat a few times before he begins his withdrawal. He slides his cock across my tongue until only the tip is left and then he starts the long trip forward again. He does this several times, picking up the pace and forcefulness with every downward stroke. It only takes a few strokes before he is pounding my throat with his hard cock. I can barely breathe between strokes. He holds my head tight as he fucks my mouth. I can feel him coming close to orgasm. He shoves his cock hard and deep into my throat and holds it there. I can't breathe. I am thankful I took as deep a breath as I could before now. It is taking great concentration not to gag. I pride myself in my ability to not gag. I gag anyway but only a little. He fucks my mouth until he is on the brink of orgasm and then he forces himself to stop. He kisses me hard on the mouth. He moves back around behind me.

He admires his work, the red marks on my ass from the mere two swats he administered. Without warning, he shoves two fingers in my pussy. "Just as I thought," he says to me mockingly. We both knew what he would find. He knew I would be wet. My pussy keeps contracting because I am so horny. "Not just yet baby," he whispers into my ear.

WHACK! WHACK!WHACK!WHACK!WHACK!WHACK!WHACK!WHACK!WHACK!WHACK!

10 hard swats on my ass with one of the wooden paddles. I cry out with every one. He is hitting me unusually hard. I know tonight it won't matter if I ask him to stop. He won't. I hate the ballgag and have been forewarned my protests will result in the ballgag. He rubs my ass gently with his calloused hands again.

I hear it before I feel it. SWOOSH! Its a cane. Given the fact that I am not in intense pain, only a severe burn, I think it must be the rattan. Ten times he strikes my ass. Some swats stray and cause me to cry out extra loud. The cane has a terrible tendency to wrap around the side. The treatment is both brutal and gentle at the same time.

Once again, the gentle caresses of calloused hands. His pelvis rubs against my heated bottom. His cock slides back and forth between my legs, sliding against my clit. He retracts again.

10 more hard swats with a wooden paddle. My ass is on fire. I feel like the skin is going to explode with every swat. Then the tenderness. Soft lips kissing the pained areas of my ass.

10 more, this time with the lexan cane. Nothing hurts like the lexan but its especially brutal tonight. It feels like he has drawn blood but he has never drawn before so I don't know. My breath comes in gasps because it hurts so much. Each stroke causes me to arch my back and pull against my cuffs. I am being very verbal tonight. Each landing of the lexan cane causes a groan, a yelp, a curse. I feel the welts rising.

Then my reward. Without warning, he grabs me by hips and thrusts his cock into me. Its shocking, it hurts for a second because I am not prepared. He fucks me hard. He forces my body into his over and over, slamming his pelvis into my aching buttcheeks. I feel his thumb pressing against my asshole. He massages it first, getting me in the mood, then he shoves his entire thumb into my ass in one quick motion. It hurts. I am in heaven. While his cock fucks my pussy, his thumb fucks my ass. This is pure ecstasy...

Until he stops....

In one swift motion, he pulls both his cock and his thumb from my orifices. He grabs hold of my waist and rains down blows upon ass with that I believe to be a hairbrush. Over and over and over and over. I think he will stop after 10 like he did with the other implements but I am wrong. He just keeps going. Back and forth, from one cheek to the other. i can't help myself. I try to jerk up. I beg him to stop. He spanks my ass harder everytime I ask him to stop. All I can say is "Nonononononononononononononononono" but he is still ignoring me. I know his arm must be getting tired because the pain has become so severe I am turning numb. Now my ass is really on fire. This is the way I like it. Now my ass is getting to the way I like it to feel when Honey fucks me silly.

Finally after about 5 minutes (that feels like an hour) he stops. My breath is jagged. I am near tears but I don't cry. He still has my waist in his hands, my ass still on display to him, available for his pleasure.

CCCCCCCRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!

Its the lexan paddle. The lexan paddle is like no other paddle ever made. It hurts like hell in the most tolerable way possible. 10 hard swats to my ass. I feel the pain but I have moved passed it. Now I just cry out from time to time. Now I just take it. Now I am yours totally and completely. You recognize when it happens. You slam my ass a few more times with the lexan paddle, move on the leather strap. You wail on my ass with the leather strap because you want my ass to look as on fire as it feels. You know after the other implements, the leather strap is like a massage for me.

Last but not least, you break out Bruiser. You blast my ass with Bruiser 3 times and then you fuck me again. The fucking is hard. Its passionate. Its breathtaking. It rocks my body with each stroke. It knocks the breath out of me. He pulls out and assaults my ass with 5 more blows from Bruiser. He resumes fucking me ...again with the fierceness and abandon of an animal. His thumb finds its way back into my ass. I am a solid mass of sensation. I moan. I don't realize when I start. I hear it and then realize its me making the noises. My asscheeks are on fire. My asshole craves cock. My pussy is getting fucked good and proper. My brain is all bright lights and fireworks. There is no longer thought. He pulls everything out of me again. He moves around to the front of me, lifts me to cock level and fucks my face with the same abandon that he fucked my pussy. His cock reaches down into throat hard, fast, and furious. I try to pull away. I gag. He holds my head so I can't get away. He waits til the gagging ceases and I have somewhat regained my breath and then he shoves his cock down my throat again. He holds it there for long enough to scare me and then retreats.

We are on the final round, I can tell.

5 swats with the lexan cane...Honey's favorite.

10 swats with the midrange wood paddle.

10 swats with the holey paddle. No breaks. A tongue on my asshole...10 more swats with the holey paddle. A lubricated finger shoved hard into my ass. 10 more swats with the holey paddle, the hardest yet. The head of a cock pressing into my ass. One hard shove and it sinks all the way to his pelvis against my blood red asscheeks. I cry out in my pain. He pulls his cock completely out and then shoves it right back in again. This is payoff. He starts out with his hands holding my hips hard enough to bruise as he fucks in and out of my ass hard. His hands move up to breasts where he squeezes and holds on like a set of reigns on a bucking bronco. As orgasm nears, his hands move back to my bruised and battered asscheeks. He spreads them as far apart as they will go. The strokes get steadily faster and harder. I feel his cock getting fatter as orgasm nears. I feel my own passion rising. I am so close to cumming myself that I don't even know the noises that are being emitted from wide opened mouth. He voices the imminent approach of orgasm. All abandon is completely lost to both of us as a chorus of orgasm as echo'd throughout our room.

He collapses onto my back. I, in turn, collapse under his weight and the exhaustion of the session.

This is as close to heaven as you get.

The Fantasy

2007-05-13T19:23:00.000-07:00

I was so upset. I spent the day working on an entry off and on day before yesterday and when I went to publish, it went away. I couldn't even get it to copy. Very annoying

On to better things.

I was just sitting here, hanging out in the living room, Hubby working on his latest project, both of us watching a new movie that I got because Honey bought me a new movie for every day between May 1st and Mothers Day when I found my mind wandering. Honey and I are having difficulties because of the stress of my work problems. Its obvious that is what is going on but it took a little while to figure it out. We were talking about it tonight, trying to decide if I should quit or not and then we started watching a new movie. Honey and I have gotten to play some but not nearly enough and quite frankly, I probably need to be "played" more often. I was telling Honey tonight that I just can't ask...not really. Its always been difficult for me to ask him to take me to bed but the idea of saying "Honey, will you beat me and then fuck me in the ass..." well...I just can't get the words to come out. So instead, here I am watching a movie and finding myself fantasizing about it instead. Not even meaning to...it just happened.

THE FANTASY

Honey takes me by my hand and leads me into the bedroom. He lays me down on the bed. He fondles my body in all those places that are so fond of being fondled. After he entices my womanhood with his fingers, he moves down my body and places his head firmly between my legs. I feel his tongue. He has such a way with his tongue. The first touches are pure electricity. I start to warm up immediately and little sighs and moans escapes my lips as he kisses, licks, probes, stimulates me in every way until I am a heaving liquid mass with no other thoughts than the pleasure he is giving me. His tongue flicks at my asshole, and it takes my breath away. I feel his finger pushing against the ring, then penetrating as he concentrates again on my clit and everything around. He is fingerfucking my ass while he plays with my clit and I am floating on a cloud of sheer ecstacy. He rolls me over onto my belly.
I stick my ass up in the air. My ass needs so much attention.
"Not just yet," he tells me. Suddenly he produces a set of cuffs...I don't remember what you call them exactly but its the ones that velcro around your thighs and the wrist cuff is attached to the thigh. They are sooooooooooooooo hot. It leaves my hands free to play with myself, with or without my vibrator while making me completely vulnerable to anything he wants to do with me. This is both of our favorite position. My head is down, my ass is up and I am completely at his mercy. Tonight, he decides to add a spreader bar into the equation. "The better to fuck you with, my dear" he taunts me.
He makes sure I am comfortable, a sign he intends to take his time, no matter what he has planned.
Once he is sure that I cannot get my hands free, he climbs behind me. He massages my ass. He lets his hands slide up to my breasts while he kisses the small of my back. He slides his hands down my body to my inner thighs. He kisses his way down my ass. He takes his hands and lays a palm on each of my buttcheeks as he gently spreads them apart. He buries his tongue in my ass, sending shivers up and down my body, making my nipples so hard. I feel him pull away.

to be continued later this week.....

Where does the Time Go?

2007-04-19T12:44:00.000-07:00

How well do I remember this day? Not anywhere near well enough. I am feeling needy. I was looking at the dates on our last picture taking. We have had some playtime since the last pictures (March 18, if you are interested). We have had sex since then. We have had some really good sex and some decent playtime since then...but not enough...and quite frankly, too little playtime and too little sex makes this little Plaything very very cranky. Oh, its nobody fault. We are getting older. Another kid moved home (was actually encouraged to do so, in case you were wondering). I have two jobs and a hobby that takes up an enormous amount time...and I have a boss that quite literally gives me nightmares. It isn't that he is so scary. Its that he makes me so angry. He is so unknowledgeable...and he so wants to fire me...and I'm not at all sure why but the general consensus of those that know the situation is that I threaten him...I'm not sure how. Challenge his masculinity? He would have to have some before I could threaten it. Point out that he doesn't know his job and that our training dollars are going to him in an attempt to make him at least half as knowledgeable as the rest of us? That might be part of the problem. That I have pointed out to him that I have twice as much experience and a whole degree more than he has therefore he will probably NEVER know as much I do? That could definitely be a part of the problem. The fact is, though, that he got the job, he is my boss and I have to do what he says...another point that I have brought up. The fact that he is harassing me because he can't take the heat (his errors and then his errors being pointed out to him) makes my job way more stressful than I can even begin to describe. He has no sense of humor about himself as he pointed out in one of the many letters of disciplinary action he has given me...because I made fun of him...I would have way more pride than to EVER acknowledge to a subordinate that they had gotten to me by making fun of me, but in addition to having no integrity, it seems he has no pride either. C'est le vie. I'm waiting for the rope that he is wrapping around his neck to strangle him while I watch from the sideline. And of course, this is a HUGE part of why I want to have my ass beaten from time to time. I'm not sure how all that works psychologically. I don't really even care most of the time. All I know is that after I give in, give myself over to it, let Honey blister my ass really well, fuck me like there is no tomorrow, especially if ass-fucking is in the equation, when its all over, all my bones crack and I just feel 100 percent more relaxed. Why does it work? Don't know. Don't care. But I'm in need. I'm in need of a good working over...in every way.

This is our newest and currently one of my favorite toys. Its lighter than Bruiser, MUCH lighter and it doesn't feel like its going to break anything no matter how hard Honey decides to smack with it. It makes as good warm up as it does a serious instrument. It stings and if you used with a serious wallop, it leaves all the nice feelings and bruises that a really good play time should leave behind...no pun intended. I like it best as a serious implement, I think, but I go back and forth...depends on the day and the needy factor. Today, I think I would find it quite satisfactory. Honey is pretty fond of it too although we haven't really discussed what it is he likes so much about it.

This, of course, is my absolute favorite. Its leaves wonderful marks to remember the playtime by (which I LOVE) and its way lighter than it looks. It stings, sometimes it hurts lots, but I am particularly fond of a few really hard whacks to start with from this little friend. Oh, sure, I complain. I whine, I pout but it has the oddest effect of making me want more...and harder....and more...and harder...:)
This really is Bruiser, although if I were to name it, I guess it would be Bruiser Light. It leaves bruises almost every time it is used on my bare bum and the marks are always different. I like the bruises. I have to be a bit cautious at the moment because my bum has the potential of being exposed in a semi-public arena...no, I'm not stripping but I would hate to have others see them and then have to try explain it. My brain works quick but not THAT quick.

This is my absolute favorite...anytime. Its a plastic hairbrush and especially after we have been playing for a while and my bottom has already been heated up, Honey can really take some agression out on me, on my ass, pretty much as long and as hard as he wants with this little gem. I love it. The only drawback is that it is really really really loud. I'm pretty sure everybody in the neighborhood,much less inside the house, can hear it when we use it. It has a little sting to it and it warms the bottom up nicely...really nicely. My ohsowhite ass turns bright red and looks like it has been a paddle war but it doesn't feel that way. I like the warmth. I have to say, if my bottom doesn't get just roasty enough, the sex isn't quite as good. I love feeling Honey's pelvis rubbing and bouncing against my hot and stingy bottom. Sigh...I'm getting wet thinking about it. And no fun in sight yet.

Ah yes...this is a perfect example of what a toasty needy bottom should look like. I'm sure there was awesome sex, awesome blowjobs, awesome cunninglus, awesome anal sex after this playtime. No doubt in my mind. And no doubt in my mind that it is EXACTLY what I need now. RIGHT NOW, in fact. Making love is a wonderful thing but sometimes a girl needs to be shown the love in a little different way. Give me passion anyday....hot, stingy, sweaty, wild, painful, hard, sexy, breathtaking sex...especially when I am feeling needy. Leave the quiet sweet adoring lovemaking for when I want to be cuddled, when I just need to feel the closeness. they are both good, no doubt about it, but I like the cardiosex more often than not.

Interviewed on Journey to the Darkside...and then some

2007-03-29T09:43:00.001-07:00

There are so many thing that I forget to say....over and over again...Like....oh...I GOT INTERVIEWED BY PADME! How could I forget such an important event, you might ask yourself? That is a very very good question. Uh...I have no excuse...actually, I have LOTS of excuses but mostly its just been about trying to find time to BLOG at all. So if you want to know a little more about me, go to Journey to the Darkside and Padme's interviews. I love those two. I am a huge Star Wars fan so I found myself attracted to this site early on. Its certainly a unique twist to the Anakin and Padme story. Its a very busy site with LOTS and LOTS and LOTS of fun things to interest pretty much anybody in the spanko world, the BDSM world, D/s, D/D...they stay busy. I have yet to get through the whole site but its fun spending a nite on their site.

I kind of want to surprise Honey with a hotel room tonight (fun fun fun) but we are such COMPLETE homebodies and LOVE being at home, I'm not sure what to do. If we stay home, chances are the single kid still at home will decide to stay home too...he always does on our nights off together. I think its a conspiracy on his part. If we go to a room, we will have fun for sure, but its money we could use elsewhere and we would miss being at home...with all of our DVD's and crafts and....stuff. I think I'll wait til later til make that decision. Neverless the less, Honey and I have several toys that need to be used often and a few that just need to be used, period. Brand new. Waiting to be tried out...and my ass is completely bruise-free...always a shame.

There has been much talk recently about Lexan canes on the various blogs I read. I have yet to hear from a "bottom" that actually LIKES the Lexan cane. They are extremely flexible and they thud...way way way different than rattan. In fact, Lexan canes will make one feel like rattan is just a toy. If you are really curious about the Lexan toys, start with a Lexan paddle. They have a completely unique feel. I know it might be a little different for me because I am a paddle fan but there is no real way to describe the feel of Lexan. Where the paddle is concerned, it hurts like hell and its easy to bear. No sense, right? Consider a smooth straight alcoholic beverage..like tequila. When you take a shot of 1800 Gold, its smooth, goes down easy but packs a punch that will knock you on your ass in time flat...that is much the same as a Lexan paddle. I am anxious to get a new one...one with holes, in fact. As for the Lexan cane, we got the thicker cane and maybe this is the reason I hate it so much. We may yet buy the thinner one and see if it is more tolerable. Honey prefers that to my hiding it everytime he gets that gleam in his eye...but we'll see.

Blistered Ass

2007-03-26T21:19:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time, I used to wonder exactly where that term came from..."I'm going to blister your ass..." I was threatened often as a child, but nothing even remotely that serious EVER occurred to my ass. I thought it was just one of those exaggerations that grown ups come up with from time to time. Boy was I wrong!

I have since discovered, not necessarily by personal experience, but most definitely by watching some WONDERFUL paysites with some brave young (and sometimes not so young) women who really are getting their asses blistered. This is about as close as I get. Now...before I go any further about the brave exploits of others and the lack of ass blistering I have been subjected to, let me point out that although there are some strange little dots and such that look like blemishes or some problem with my bottom in these pictures...the only blemishes occurred due to continued blunt force contact with a paddle, cane or strap and the only problem with my bottom (other than perhaps it is a little fluffier than I like it) is that it got sufficiently beaten to make Honey, me and a few loyal readers happy. Since I have had to apply (or more accurately, Honey has had to apply) various moisturizers and exfoliators to the cheeks of my bottom, I think I can say with all sincereity that although it has been somewhat mild, my ass has indeed been blistered...and if all goes well, it will get blistered again...and in time, I truly believe that my butt blisterings, at least some of the time, will rival any girl/woman on real spankings, girls boarding school, or amatuer spankings. And as much as I enjoy reading Katie Spades stories and watching her videos, I'm sorry Doll but I know my ass can take a tougher beating almost any day (I haven't actually seen the video about the hotel room,....I really want to though). Honey and I have had some serious talks about whether Bonnie from My Bottom Smarts takes a harder butt beating than I do. I'm pretty sure the answer is yes. And I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that Toy from Married Man's Fucktoy takes a harder beating than I do. But here's the thing...they have been doing it longer than I have. Oh, Honey and I are on the same schedule these days and I figure we need to get LOTS of playtime in in a very short time because in about a week and a half he and I will be doing something publicly for about 3 weeks that will completely do away with the ability to play out of fear of my bruises being seen. The truth is, Honey is one of the most gentle people, and especially men, that I have ever met. He would never do anything to me that would cause me pain, emotionally or physically without my consent...indeed, without my encouragement. He has been greatly enjoying all of our playing but it has been a little bit of an emotional turmoil for him as well....because you don't hurt the people you love...unless they want you to....quite the head spinner if you think about it too long. I would never want anyone to accidentally see my sometimes very bruised bottom and get the wrong opinion of him. Sometimes our mere lovemaking leaves me bruised. When I say I like it rough, I am completely sincere. Our lovemaking has been so intense sometimes that both of us required a trip to the chiropractor the next day. Of course, that hasn't always been because it was rough...someitmes its acrobatic...and its ALWAYS very lengthy. Unless I literally attack him, throw his clothes off and start take his exquisite manhood into my mouth, deep into my throat, and hold him there, only then can I encourage him to let me give him a "quickie" blowjob. Only then can I get him to stand before me and face fuck me. Only then can I get him to let loose his passion within the confines of my throat, allowing me to drink from him until the only sign of our "quickie" intimacy is the glow on both of our faces.

As a general rule, our lovingmaking takes no less than an hour from the start of foreplay to the finality of orgasm. Most often, I like to end our lovemaking with Honey buried deep in my ass, holding my asscheeks wide apart and engorging himself in the part of my body that has been molded to fit him and only him. This was for many years the peak of our "kinky" endeavors. Sometimes he would tie me up and fuck me in the ass and we considered that REALLY kinky. But now, over the last year or so, it has most definitely turned to spanking and spanking rituals. When I masturbate these days, its always to my ass being spanked hard by Honey. Not just love taps. HARD. The harder I fantasize he is beating my ass, the bigger the orgasm. It stands to reason then, that when playtime actually happens between us, I might WANT to push for harder play than we do. I WANT to push for it but being a relatively smart and logic girl, I just can't get the words to come out of my mouth most of the time. There is only so much pain I want to be subjected to but being the one of the two of us that has ALWAYS preferred the rough treatment, I can't really tell you where my pain threshold is and I know for a fact that it changes. I have told Honey before that once we set the rules for playtime (like 10 swats and then a break, etc) you can't change those rules. You can, of course, but it ends up upsetting me and I don't enjoy the experience. Since we don't punishment spank (at least not yet....I started the idea but Honey has been the one pushing the idea recently) its all about enjoyment. He can hit me hard, really much harder than I realized until we went to our spanking party, but if the rules get changed in the middle of the playtime, I can't wrap my head around it that fast. Now. if he doesn't tell me how many times he is going to swat my bottom, then that openness is left in my brain...a "just grit your teeth and take it as long as you can" thing goes on. If I am expecting 10 and suddenly I end up getting 11 or 12 swats, it unsettles the moment....I don't know...maybe its just me but it can come very close to ruining everthing.

Back to the idea of blistering bottoms, one of my very favorite and most watched scenes from real spankings is a girl, Michelle, I think...darker, long wavy hair, very tiny girl with a butt I would die to have....its soooooooooooooo tiny...don't get me wrong. My butt has been better and I think my butt has been worse...at least I have seen much worse, even in person, but this girl is young, skinny and has just the perfect, spankable butt (no, I'm not lesbian or bi-sexual...at least last time I check...I just know a spankable butt when I see one). It is in the series called Bare Bottom School Spankings. You can hear her breathing struggle and stagger and if you are the bottom in a spanking couple, or you are a bottom period, you just know the agonizing pain she is in...and how wet she most likely is. I want so much to have my butt spanked the same way! Oh, Honey has come way close on more than one occasion and I can't guarantee that Michelle just doesn't bruise better and faster than I do. A little secret that I absolutely hate to share with Honey, although I have shared....I just don't keep reminding him...is that when that first swat burns like a sonofabitch...while I'm whining, protesting, telling him I don't want to play anymore, telling him what a mean bastard he is, by the time I get all that out, I am so hot, so horny, and so ready for him to really spank my ass...and when he swats my ass 5 times at that intensity, and after we have played for a while even 10...thats it....it takes me no time at all to find subspace and want more...want it harder....to tingle with every swat, to have my brain begging to be taken in hand and really lay into the spanking of my ass....ah, but what the brain says and what actually comes out of the mouth are very different things. I know there is a point where very little noise comes out of me at all. I know I reach a point where I have to force the ouch's and ow's out because I have passed them but they are things that turn Honey on...I know have gotten into the space where I had to force them out and then Honey established a new threshold where I was once again saying them because they were involuntary responses....but that in no way means I am ready to stop. What a strange and erotic thing spanking is. Another of my favorites, though I couldn't really tell you why is some really fucked up girl named Dana who actually only get paddled over her jeans...but oh does she get paddled well. I think she has to be drunk or stoned (God forbid she is just strange) but she gets bent over to grab her ankles. Mr. Longhair who's stage name I have never picked up plants his big feet, rears back and swats her ass. It pushes her forward and she screams and grabs hold of the desk in front of her to keep from falling over. When she restabilizes, he swats her at about the same intensity again. Once again, it almost knocks her over. A third time. Once again, she falls foward and has to regain her balance...and of course, she kind of grunt/moans with each swat. This is a ten swat session so for the next seven, he places his hand on the middle of her back to steady her and begins...swat swat swat swat swat swat swat....to her steadily rising squeals of pain. Oh...I cannot tell you how that turns me on. I am wet thinking about it. It makes me want to go get our wooden paddle and wake Honey up and ask him to spank my ass just like that...blister my ass like BOTH of those videos. Alas, I won't. He has to work in the morning. Its difficult for me to ask in the most horny and masochistic of times. But our time will be coming again soon. Writing these things....its an easy for me to tell Honey what I want...but its scary writing it because I know its a matter of time before he takes me at my word. My ass tingles to be spanked as I write this. My ass thinks it needs a good blistering. My womanly parts are in total agreement. My personal preference, if Honey decides he wants to really subject my ass to the blistering I think I need, is to be taken to a local hotel room where I can let all my inhibitions down. Bend me over his lap, a chair, a bench, the bed, and spend a considerable amount of time spanking my ass with our many many many implements (which, by the way, are soon to start showing up with tales of each and every one.)

Until next time...happy spanking!

So many stories to tell, but first....

2007-03-18T20:58:00.000-07:00

I just want to say to start with that this is all my good friend Dark Lord Toy's fault. Granted, I am the one that hid it at the Spanking Party and was silly enough not to LEAVE it hidden in another town far far away. AND, I was also the one STUPID enough to hand it to Honey to use during playtime, but I have to tell you, that Lexan cane, the WIDE one no less, is a BITCH!!!!!! And Honey didn't even use it that much because we bought other new toys while we were gone and they were desperately in need of a real tryout. As you cacn see, we had a tryout alright...this was still early in playtime, if you can believe that. I have so much to say I don't even know where to begin. I still have many many stories to share about the spanking party, including the nice lady we met there that has me most intrigued (don't worry, I won't use any real names) but they will have to wait for another night because I just have to tell about last night. Last night...Last night was...Last night was awesome. Where to begin...

Once upon a time there was a not so young man and woman who liked to play a little rough. The not so young woman had been daydreaming, and nightdreaming, and dreaming in between of having the Honey of her Life beat the daylights out of her rather sizeable yet spankable bottom. But, as luck would have it, one thing after another kept getting in the way. Finally, after bribing the single child left at home to leave, after guilting the one that showed up unannounced into departing and not coming back until he CALLED first, and finding themselves distanced from the overprotective dog, the not so young man and woman found themselves alone, in their bedroom, with some brand new spanking DVD's playing on the DVD player and LOTS and LOTS and LOTS of toys that appealed to both of them...not always the same toys!

The not so young man thought it would be nice to spank the oh-so-spankable bottom rather gently at first (depending on which side of the spanking implement you might be on) and see where it went from there...and oh how it did go!

I'm pretty sure Honey started with a ping pong paddle. Nothing serious but many swats upon my ass as a nice warm up. It wasn't painful for the most part but had I not already been in the mood to have my bottom spanked, I must say, it certainly would have put me in the mood. While at the spanking party, we purchased an all new wooden paddle. If you have already gotten the idea, I like wooden paddles. I don't know if its because I was spanked so often as a child or because I wasn't spanked enough...or I'm just kinky that way...but wood paddles, especially the ones with holes in them are definitely my kinky favorites. As usual, I cannot tell you all the details because I really can't remember them. I remember the ping pong paddle, I remember that fucking Lexan cane, I remember this most awesome wooden paddle that we bought at the vendor's fair and I have to say, I think we will be making several purchases from that vendor in the future...great product (now surprisingly christened with my blood), reasonable price, great craftsmanship...and most of all, I LIKE it! I know Bruiser made a couple of appearances and I was not so happy about that. The rattan cane came out to play too, which by the way, after the Lexan, the rattan feels like a toy, the new leather fat paddle and the new belt-like strap that is just a smidge too long made appearances but they weren't used much. Were there any implements? I couldn't really tell you. I know my ass saw more action last night than it has seen in a long time and I would venture to say that I pretty much rivaled any spanking model out there...as the days go by, I will be posting more pictures, but these are some pretty good ones of the activities of the night and how they progressed.

I admit without regret or shame that I have been craving some really hard spanking action...I mean REALLY hard. Honey accomodated me pretty well at the spanking party one night...so much so that I could feel the concussion through his body as I laid across his lap...but much to both of our disappointments, the bruises incurred were so mild that they weren't even picture worthy. I was becoming quite disheartened. I thought "Oh great, we haven't been doing this very long and I'm already losing the ability to bruise well...." I was a little concerned...and here's a question for anyone out there who participates in spanking games (or punishments) on a regular basis...does your ass callous???????????????? I have this spot on each cheek that I swear is trying to callous...although a nice exfoliator and some time off smoothed it out again, but I admit, I was a little taken aback...

I digress.

These are not the pictures of the aftermath...these are the pictures of the "in progress" stages. I have made it no secret that I am great lover of ass-fucking...and skull-fucking...well, fucking in all ways but with a rough edge to them. My greatest orgasms though come from being fucked in the ass. It makes perfect sense to me. Beat my ass black and blue and then fuck my ass hard, and I'm a happy girl. Honey was of course willing to accomodate. After he started upping the power behind the swats, after he started making me emit those uncontrollable ouches and ow's and uh's, once he made my ass nice and bright and red, with a few stripes across it because it turns him on so, he moved around in front of me and fed me his cock for a bit. He had all the control in fucking my face, my favorite way to participate in oral sex and used my throat to his satisfaction with a little help from my tongue for good measure. When he was near his breaking, he pulled his cock from my hungry mouth. He left me wanting. He went back to spanking my ass and the spanking got steadily harder. Honey took the occasional break to play with me. He fondled my pussy, he teased my clit, he finger-fucked my ass and I was panting with desire. I wanted him to take me. He was only teasing me. He placed his hand on the lower part of my back and told me he wouldn't fuck me until I could take a hundred straight swats. This after an already extended playtime earlier in the day and a great deal of time spent already making my ass a burning mass of flesh. Who was I to argue. I was beyond argument. I was mostly in subspace with the desires of a succubus...all I could think about was penetration...being fucked and being fucked hard. He counted the strokes. The first 50 were tolerable. The next twenty-five caused me to break out in a sweat. The last twenty-five made me forget momentarily all about sexual desire and all I could think about was the pain and fire in my ass.

But then his attentions turned. I could feel him stroking his cock behind me. I heard the tube of KY opening up. The coolness as he applied it to my asshole was soothing to all the heated parts of bottom but my desire returned as soon as his fingers had contact with my constricted, most sensitive tunnel of love. There was very little preparation. Very little was needed. I felt the tip of his cock pressing against my asshole. I always tense up at first and I did this time too, but this time...this time the pain was good...the pain was perfect...the pain was exactly what I wanted. He didn't exactly ease himself into me but he didn't thrust himself either...it was a steady forward motion that took my breath away. I wanted him to fuck me. I told him to fuck me. The only words that would come out of my mouth were "Fuck my ass hard." And he did. He fucked my ass exactly as I wanted him to. I rode the wave of passion. Higher...and higher...and closer to orgasm.

"Don't come yet..." Honey whispered in my ear.

"WHAT?????????????" my mind screamed. "But I need to," I whispered back to him.

"Not yet" he told me and he took his cock from me. My body was not happy. I was not happy. I felt like a little girl who just had her favorite toy taken from her by a bully.

"100 more and I'll fuck you again," he said to me as he positioned himself to spank my ass some more. Did I mention that Honey has a bit of the sadist in him? Did I also happen to mention that I have the greater sexual needs? He can hold out (although not happily) way longer than I can. Who was I to argue? I was way too far gone by then.

He counted them out again, and by the time he reached 100, he was once again pounding my ass with a paddle in a serious way...but I didn't care. I just wanted him to fuck me. And he did. Once again, he fucked me almost to orgasm. And once again, he stole the orgasm from me.

"Just 50 more" he told. I was on the verge of being angry. "Just 50 more and I'll let you come" he told me. I didn't answer. I couldn't. He took up his position. The last 50 made the first 200 feel like play slaps. He put his heart and soul into the last 10 but the 40 before it were not exactly child's play...no pun intended. I knew my ass had to be starting to look like raw hamburger. As soon as he finished, before I even had the time to regain my breath, while my shirt was still damp from the sweat I worked up from the pain, Honey rammed his cock back in my ass and he fucked me just the way I wanted. He fucked me until he came and he came with a verocity that only comes from denial...and shortly thereafter, I came. He made sure of it. His cock so perfectly fits my ass...and there is nothing like the feel of his pelvis rubbed against and bouncing off my burning and pained ass....grabbing my asscheeks, spreading them wide apart to allow his cock to drive as deeply as possible. It was an amazing night. It was worth the wait...and there will probably have to be a fair amount of time between this time and the next because I will be having some mighty bruises within the next couple of days.

I will try to post at least a new picture every day if not a new picture and a new story. Honey outdid himself last night...and I'm so glad he did. He gave EXACTLY what I had been wanting. He just seems to be able to read my mind like that. Now that he has mostly gotten over the fear of being too rough (me? too rough? LOL) I think we have a really nice rhythm on behalf of my sub needs and his top desires...hidden as they were. I'm liking it. So is he...and hopefully you are still enjoying our journey.

Sensory Overload

2007-03-16T14:24:00.000-07:00

Honey and I went to our very first ever Spanking Party. Wow. Thats all I have to say about that...

Okay, not really.

We didn't get to stay as long as we had originally planned and we did get our own little bit of spanking done...the very first time that I have been completely comfortable with the sound of a paddle (or anything else) hitting my ass outside the home. Why? Because there were several floors of the same sounds going on.

I have to admit, it was mine and Honey's first experience and it was a bit much for us, but not bad overall, really, especially if you happen to be single. We met some very nice spanko friends, found out that spanko's really do happen in ALL walks of life, found that the average spanko really does look a lot like us...normal...in most ways and in most cases, and that maybe we can enjoy our playtime pretty much guilt-free. For the singles, I think it must have been a dream come true and definitely a GREAT opportunity to meet up with others with the same needs and desires. The public spankings were a bit too much for me personally. Not that there was anything wrong with them, and they didn't include sexual or erotic content or intent at all...which I have to admit, was pretty amazing to see...but there were some whose asses I saw more than faces, and spanking during dinner was just a bit much for me. We would find ourselves dining in perfect harmony and suddenly the thrashing sounds of someone being spanking would assail the ears...so of course we had to figure out where it was coming from...I have to hand it to those folks who can put all their inhibitions aside like that. I envy them. I figure one of the reasons I really LIKE being spanked is because of inhibitions. And, quite frankly, I am a huge voyeur...and occasional exhibitionist but I could have had public sex a lot easier than I could have bared my ass for a strange man...or as it turns out...woman to spank...especially the way I like (or is it want...) to be spanked.

Honey, however, was pretty popular. He got lots of asses offered up to him. We have a picture of the one ass other than mine that he did actually spank. I am pretty jealous but he had my consent to play with two other women we met but he only had time for one. Turns out I'm not such a wimp after all. And this girl bruises so easily I was jealous! She had been handspanked the night before, easily from what she said (and I believe her) and she had bruises! I don't think a hardcore handspanking would bruise my butt and I assure it wouldn't appease my spanko sensitivities. We dont have any super great pictures to share because they don't allow pictures to be randomly taken...for obvious reason, but hopefully later this week I will put a SO hoping we have the time to PLAY this weekend...I find my ass is craving a really good whacking this week...that should make Honey happy too. Physical problems on both of our parts has kept us away from playing very much lately. We may be sorry by the end of the week but I have high hopes for this Saturday through next Sunday...

And by the way, if anyone knows where to find a good lexan paddle with holes that doesn't cost a small fortune, I would be interested in looking. I know where to find one, and I'll probably end up getting it there but its not cheap...I don't mind paying the extra money for the quality that I know I will get out of it, but I'm always looking for a better deal.

And should she happen to read this, thanks to the lady from the vendor fair that told me how to make a rubber whip...I've been tossing the idea around in my head ever since...I think I have to try it.

And also, to Sybil...we very much enjoyed your company. I hope we stay in touch.

Okay, so...Bottom's up for now...hopefully I'll be back soon!

Spanking Party!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-03-09T10:34:00.000-08:00

I have a couple of posts that I need to make...or have been meaning to make but life has been crazy lately. Most of it good but not all and all of it keeping me very preoccupied. I have been visiting a few new blogs...I'm always in the mood to find a new sexy blog. Honey has been on the mend and we have been oh so careful with his back (except once) so we could enjoy our very first spanking party/convention. It didn't work out that we can stay for the whole thing like we had hoped but we will manage at least half of it and that is way better than none at all. I'm so excited that we can FINALLY be somewhere that if Honey ends up getting me into that subspace territory, which I know he will because its where I want to be, that he can hit hard enough to make me make noise (which generally speaking, real noise requires a pretty hard swat) and not have to worry about the police being called, which is so much a bigger issue than I could possibly relate. No worry about kids hearing the paddle smacking against my ass over and over and those tell-tale noises, even quietly, that are such a giveaway. Just Honey, me and a bunch of spanko's all doing the same basic things for at least 24 hours!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I told Honey that if I don't come home bruised and uncomfortable, then he should be ashamed, this is the perfect time, the perfect place and the perfect opportunity. I'm so excited I have butterflies in my tummy. We are taking ALL of our implements with us and I think I should be able to come back with WEEKS worth of good stories to share...I'm so excited I can't wait!!!!!!!!!!!

Speaking of stories...

I am one of those women that doesn't just like sex, doesn't just crave sex, but apparently has some innate joy of sex. I LIKE to be awakened with a penis or a tongue invading parts of my body. The runny part is that I don't always remember it until sometime triggers it. That happened this week.

I fell asleep WAY before Honey did. When he got ready to go to bed, he gathered me up and took me to bed with him. I don't remember this part at all. What I do remember, and it has taken days to get all the details to come back, is that :
#1) There was oral sex involved. I THINK I first received but I do recall Honey climbing on top of my chest and seeing his wonderful penis headed toward my mouth...and my mouth, asleep or not, was more than happy to accomodate. I remember him fucking my mouth quite deeply and enjoying it very much. I remember the feel of the tip of his penis deep inside my throat and wanting more....wanting to feel it deeper in my throat and feeling those little tingles in my feminine parts. I felt my nipples tighten up. The feeling of his beautiful cock fucking in and out of my mouth always turns me on, but in that sleepy, dreamy state, its absolutely phenomenal.
#2) I remember Honey licking my most feminine parts and my ass and not knowing which I wanted him to fuck more. I don't think I even cared as long as cock found its way inside me somewhere.
#3) I remember orgasms...his and mine. It was sleepy. It was dreamy. It was wonderful. And when it was over, we both went to sleep (back to sleep for me) and I awoke the next morning with a smile, feeling relaxed, feeling like this was going to be the best day ever...and it most certainly was.

Honey has always appreciated the fact that I react to his advances both awake and asleep. He says it lets him know that I'm not just pretending to enjoy it (we were both married before, remember, and neither of our spouses were anywhere near as sexual as we are) I really do enjoy it. It was naughty and evil and totally lovely getting glimpses and remembrances all the next day. I do so love when Honey makes me love to me when I'm only half awake.

Back at Last

2007-03-06T04:20:00.000-08:00

Its been a while since I last posted. Between school and life, there just hasn't been an opportunity...and quite frankly, not a lot going on but healing. Honey and I have had to be almost abstinent in an effort to get his back back to normal. Back problems are such a misery and it makes me hurt to watch him when he tries to walk when his back hurts that much. It makes me incredibly nervous to consider doing much more than "servicing" him when he's like that because I'm afraid he will hurt his back even more. There has been some play but in truth, we were both so amorous by the time his back was even close to be better that the play part was pretty limited and we went right at the good stuff (hehehehe).

This weekend however, has much potential. We are going to our first spanking party and SO looking forward to it. Unfortunately, we won't get to stay for the whole thing but it looks like its going to be a blast (no pun intended...well, maybe pun intended) and we can really use the alone time as well. The drive will be a blast too because we make great travelling partners.

I can't wait and hopefully there will be lots of pictures of good stories when we get back!

Surprise!

2007-02-14T13:46:00.000-08:00

I have been trying for days to get this story told but life just keeps getting in the way.

My Honey has one of those jobs that leaves him able to stop by the house when he isn't busy. The other day he popped by as a little surprise. I like when he "pops" in. He took care of personal business and when he came back out to the living room where I was, he had a hairbrush paddle with him (this is a thick chunk of wood in the shape of a hairbrush...its a mean little booger), He had me bend over the arm of the couch for a few light but painful smacks across the ass. That was good. I'm all for starting the day off well. After he let me back up, we started necking. One thing led to another, and next thing we knew, his pants were off, I was sitting on the edge of the couch and his cock was thrusting in and out of my mouth. The whole thing was quite the turn on for both of us. When he came, it was with the full abandon that only a surprise encounter can create. Both of us were pretty satisfied with the whole scenario.

And then he went back to work.

Ecstagony

2007-02-11T02:03:00.000-08:00

What a wonderful word that is. I actually saw it on another blogsite. How deliciously descriptive. How about dramastic ecstagony. I think I have new words for my spanking world. Dramastic ecstagony is when you are overwhelmed by the ecstasy created by the fire in and on your ass from a hard spanking and equally hard fucking. Yummy. I have been spanked this week. I have to say, it was dramastic ecstagony. It could have been harder. I hardly have any bruises. My ass had that freshly spanked look for 2 days though. That is always cool. That alone is worth taking a spanking every day but alas, Honey's back barely made it through the once...to try it again might well cripple him. It was hot though. I got to pick out my implement...at least the starting implement. My ass had been seriously craving some really hard swats from the holey paddle. Sometimes the way to start, for me, is with a couple of really hard swats, then a couple of lighter ones. The really hard ones starting out are never pleasant but I often find that it takes all of about 30 seconds before I want more. And before long, I am craving the really ugly, really hard swats. Honey was more than happy to accomodate me, although we were both worried about his back. We did start with the holey paddle. I don't know how many swats he gave me but my ass was radiating heat in no time at all. It was all very passionate. We moved from the holey paddle to the cool surface of the lexan. Honey really likes this paddle a lot...and as a matter of fact, so do I. I don't think its much for bruising though. It is quite a bit tougher on bare skin (which is, of course, the only way Honey likes to spank me) than over clothes but it is a very unique feeling any way you use it. I like it. I believe the whole session, which was probably right around an hour of almost solid spanking fun, my ass was entertained by all of our most vicious paddles. Bruiser I know was used 15 times straight without a break. It wasn't full out swings Honey was using, but he was swinging hard enough to push my body forward with every swing. I felt like a swingset. Honey's follow through was complete, I would wave forward and then in the same fluid motion I would throw my ass back up and out for another. The swats rained down harder and faster as Honey paddled, and I became wetter and wetter. Honey had given me a "test drive" a short time before the actual session. He swatted my ass 5 times relatively hard (I was ready for him to quit at 3) with Bruiser. Then, he told me he was going to see if I was really unhappy with Bruiser or not. He reached around in front and slid his hand down between my legs. His fingers brushed my clit and goosebumps popped up all over me...again...this is one of the first reactions my body has to a really hard swat with a chunk of wood too. He let his fingers slide on until I felt them pushing up inside me. He started with just the tip of one, then I guess he changed his mind and slipped 2 fingers up inside me. My body offered no resistance. He told me my body told him the truth and according to my body, I liked Bruiser very much. Honey spanked me long and occasionally hard. And when the spanking was done and neither of us could stand it anymore, Honey lubed up my ass, lubed up his manhood and slid his member into that speciall place that takes both of our breath away. Honey made love to me, made love to my ass, ust like I like it. He was gentle and loving. I was crazed. I love to feel his pelvis against my burning ass. He fucked me gentle and then he fucked me hard until I had the most earth-shattering orgasm. He always tries to make sure I come before he comes. He fucked my ass for a bit longer and then asked me if I would assist him masturbating. I love feeling him jack off behind me, up against my ass, before he actually enters me. I love to help him reach his orgasm through masturbation. I assailed his body with my mouth and my fingers while he jacked off. He told me he wanted to come on my tits. He climbed on top of my chest for the second time that day (the first was so he could fuck my face, a phenomenal precursor to actually making love) and I had the priviledge of watching my Honey jack off over me while I fondled his nipples. when he finally came, we together agreed that he would come all over me...my face, my tits, my belly...and his orgasm was as full of fireworks as mine had been. When we were cleaned up again, we snuggled together, holding each other in a lovers embrace as we dozed off for an afternoon nap. Life doesn't get any better than this.

Just an observation or two

2007-02-05T21:59:00.000-08:00

Since I surf the internet a LOT looking for newer and better examples of my favorite kinks (and boy are there some good ones out there...one of these days I'll have to "review" them invidividually), I have made some observations. Its seems that a great deal of spankos on the net are in their 40 and above or in their 20's. I haven't quite figured this phenomenon (or is it phenomena...I have never figured out which is which). Why would the "other" spankers be a whole generation behind us? Do you think we older couples genetically passed this kink on to our children? I don't remember exactly which couple it is right off hand that was talking about finding out their adult daughter was also a spanko, I think because it shocked me SO, made me uncomfortable that after I read the ENTIRE story and a few more, I had to step away from it from a moments. Just so no one gets the wrong idea, it wasn't the parents finding out their daughter was a spanko that made me uncomfortable. I actually thought "...how cool is THAT that their DAUGHTER would share that information with her parents. Sons are sons...sons tend toward kink unabashedly but DAUGHTERS...that is a whole different ballgame). What made me uncomfortable was thinking about MY sons spanking their girlfriends...that we might have genetically passed this trait down to them. I know they share MY other sexual interests (or so one would think since I have been retrieving my porn collection periodically since the early stages of puberty) and I know for a fact that the little perv's used to get quite the kick out of listening at the bedroom door...so much so that I had to quit making noises all together, which is really tough when you are really in the moment and of course, therefore, makes spanking while I know ANY of the kids are in the house a less than perfect situation...although I LOVE going to a hotel room...my Honey never gets to spank me as much, as hard or as thoroughly at home as he does when he get a room....sigh...if only....I digress...
The idea that my sons might spank their girls is just not a comfortable one for me. They have been taught respect. They have been taught how to treat a female like a lady. They have been taught the difference between consensual and nonconsensual, so I'm not worried about them being violent toward their girls. I just don't like to think about those things I gave birth to doing anything of a sexual nature, especially the kinky kind.
And quite frankly, I'm jealous. These 20something year old girls are discovering the joys of things it took me half my life to figure out. What kind of shortcuts did they take? My Honey and I have been married for a long time, especially by todays standards but we just recently took up the spanking kink. Just think of how many years we could have been doing this? It was the same with anal sex. The first time I did it, I didn't do it...it was done to me....badly...zero fun. A few years later I tried it again in a much more "user friendly", consensual way...I was awestruck...but I was married to a different man than I am now and although he seemed to enjoy it enough when he was doing it, he wouldn't do it often and told me there was something wrong with me for enjoying it. He was all fucked up in the head. The man I'm married to now, the true Love of My Life had never had anal sex before me and we had to work it (he's a lot bigger than my ex-husband was/is) but OMG, once we did it successfully...well, lets just say it has been an integral part of our lives ever since...and I used to think, "God...I have been missing out on this ALL THIS TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Why is it that when you are the horniest, feeling the most submissive, want to "play" or sometimes punish (or be punished) those are the times you can't get all the kids out of the house at once? Why is it that when you could care less who is around, when your libido is down, when you might actually NEED them around, the kids are NEVER around? Or in our case, as long as I am working at night, the kids are home. Let Honey and I be home together and we are guaranteed that SOMEONE will be home with us.

Why do I feel most horny and need spanking the most when Honey is at work (good for me that he can stop by home now and then, and given the time to do so, is always happy to oblige).

I was reading Journey to the Darkside, the Padme and Anakin story. Oh don't I wish I was Padme this past weekend. Toy from A Married Man's Fucktoy has no idea (yet) that she has inspired Honey and I to order our own Lexan cane...aluminum handled, of course. Quite frankly, I'm not really looking forward to that one quite as much as Honey is, but....ummmmm....it does give me little tingles thinking about it. And that anal hook? Well, I don't know that is something is I want to use regularly or anything, but maybe just once....? Bonnie (from My Bottom Smarts) and Randy's spanking stories (how appropriate is Randy's name?) have inspired more than a few of my own butt blisterings...that's one tough lady is all I can say. I love reading the stories. I even fantasize that I am Bonnie and Honey is Randy. I love finding new blogs that will turn me on and give me ideas...and more than anything else, I love hearing from the blog writers that I most enjoy...knowing they are reading my blog...it's quite a rush.

Those are my observations for the night. Honey's back still isn't right and we tiffed today. He is mad at me for being mad at him. He does these things when he is driving that he KNOWS scare me. He knows that I am downright about phobic about car accidents (I had a pretty good many years ago but have never quite been able to shake the fear factor that it instilled in me) and he wants to play stupid games in the car...on the highway. It isn't like he doesn't drive all over the road as it is...and then he gets mad at me because I don't think its funny, I don't find amusing and I don't trust him to drive half the time...and often I NEED him to drive...like today. For someone who is usually so intuitive about my feelings, this is one of those areas that he is either completely ignorant of or just doesn't care. It absolutely terrifies me when he drives stupid. It absolutely terrifies me when he plays games in the car. I can only compare to it to the fear I feel when I am over my head in water, since I am not much of swimmer. It makes my heart hurt. It makes me feel sick. There is a complete physical reaction that occurs in me that I am powerless to control...and he completely pretends doesn't exist. So when he started playing around in the car today, I told him I didn't think it was funny. I told him he was pissing me off. I gave him fair warning and he just ignored me...and when I told him the rest of the trip back home (we had had to go out of town on some business) would be spent in silence, he got mad at me. We haven't really spoken since. He even left the house without telling me he was going, which he and I just don't do. He is supposed to tell me he's leaving, kiss me goodbye and say I love you. Its just a standard thing, angry or not. Its respectful and...well...I'm superstitious and I firmly believe that you never know when you separate from somebody when that might be the very last time you ever see them so you don't do stupid shit like withhold the I love you's just because you are mad. You can be mad at your loved one and still love them. So...

Now I think I'm going to go to bed since I have potentially shared my thoughts and cleansed my soul...now if only hubby's back would get better, maybe we could do some making up.

Domestic Discipline

2007-02-04T05:24:00.000-08:00

I don't have a lot to report this weekend...much to my disappointment. The Love of My Life has been pretty laid up with his back and although he did manage to get up to give me a couple of fairly hard but short paddlings, all it really did was leaving me wanting more and feeling very disjointed. The first time he wanted me to meet him back in the bedroom this weekend, he laid a couple of really hard swats on my ass...my first thought was to jump up and plead for him to stop...My second thought was "Oh yeah...that's EXACTLY what I'm taking about...."

Since Honey is laid up and pretty heavily sedated, it has given me a lot of time to think...to consider. I don't know if I can get anyone to delurk on thiis one or not but I sure am hoping so. I have been seriously considering the DD lifestyle. Honey hadn't heard of it until I brought it up the first time. I don't know if its right for me or not and quite frankly, the idea pretty well terrifies me...but I think I like the idea. The whole concept seems like one that would work very well for me. I need structure in my life or I feel like I turn into the epitomy of the 7 deadly sins..and thats a pretty ugly thought.

I'm well over my ideal weight...and I have no discipline at the moment to bring it under control. I'm not actually fat...yet...but I certainly have the potential to become that way...and I hate it. In the past I have been able to control it on my own. In truth, I probably can again but I'm really not sure. I quit smoking this past year and have the weight gain to show for it. I don't think it has so much been a major change in diet (although it does seem I eat fairly often) but its that my body has rebelled against me so all the little tricks I used to use to lose weight that were actually healthy, or mostly healthy will no longer be tolerated by my body. Even skipping meals...I'm hypoglycemic so I get sick if I skip meals. The lettuce in the salads more often than not cause severe stomach cramps, as does tuna fish. I can eat chicken all day and all night but unfortunately, the rest of my family cannot. And its so damned expensive to eat healthy. Anyway, I think if I had someone (like Honey) to hold me accountable for watching my diet and exercising, it would make things SO much easier.

And then there is the housework. I wait like 3 or 4 weeks between doing laundry. Its a good thing we both have lots of clothes because I don't do laundry until I HAVE to. I don't clean house hardly ever and I seldom cook. So what do I do you ask? Well, I'm somewhere akin to a nymphomaniac so Honey gets fucked pretty much any time he wants...pretty much any way he wants. My personal preference is anal, as is Honey's so this is good for both of us. Most of the time I can't even cum anymore unless there is something in my ass...here's a sidethought for you....I fantasize about Honey making me wear a buttplug all night at work. I don't know if I would really want to do it, but it makes for a helluva fantasy. So back to the DD, if Honey held me accountable for chores, well...our house might actually be presentable for when people want to come over for a visit. Currently, we are in a special friends only mode...which is mostly fine with both of us because we are our best friends and don't really associate a lot with others...a very select few that we hang with outside of work.

I work. I work fulltime. Sometimes I work more than one job. Sometimes I work overtime. I work at bringing in money and often, extra money. And I go to school. Until very recently, I went to school fulltime. I got my degree and have now gone back for fun but I'm tossing around the idea of grad school. I just don't know if I'm ready to do grad school and work both. I envy those women who don't have to work. Honey keeps telling me I can quit, but I have worked my whole life so I'm afraid I would turn into the bitch from hell.

Now, Honey and I most definitely partake of spanking because we both like it. He likes spanking me, and I like him spanking me...sometimes more than other times. We use it as foreplay. In fact, I enjoy having my ass spanked while I masturbate. My most reeent masturbation fantasies aren't of Honey fucking me...at least not only that, but of Honey beating my ass...and then fucking me in the ass...but I don't always get to that last part before orgasm. I am secretly obsessed with having punishment spankings but I don't feel I'm emotionally equipped to deal with them...yet.

So here is one of the greatest questions for me. Could I actually succeed in a DD relationship. I am VERY strong willed and as much as I want the guidance, I WANT to put the decisions of the day and the lifestyle in someone else's hands, I don't know if I have the mettle to do it. I am interested in hearing from anyone who is living the lifestyle, has lived the lifestyle, would like to live the lifestyle...I would love to exchange thoughts and ideas on this one before I/we make any firm decisions.

Thanks to any and all who will respond.

The Tide is High...but the Planets won't align

2007-02-01T07:48:00.000-08:00

He sleeps for now, the deep sleep of a hardworking man who's back twinges a little too often, a little too scarily. A man who sleeps alone while his wife works...just as the wife sleeps alone while he works.

Sometimes I hate our schedules. We each work the shift that we prefer, but it makes it difficult to have fun times together. Often, when its slow at work I find myself daydreaming, fantasizing, and I hope, sometimes wish, that when I got home we could live out those fantasies. Between kids and work, that only happens about once a week...but boy oh boy do those fantasies get yummy. I write my fantasies to him often...the next best thing to being there. Well, okay, masturbation and fantasy is the next best thing to being there, but letters are a little closer to being together.

His back is hurt this weekend so barring a miraculous recovery, my fantasies will not be fulfilled this weekend. My fantasies change from week to week, day to day. So here I sit, feeling a little/a lot frustrated as I watch my porn and near-porn movies and clips. I watch tons of clips of assholes being violated, bodies rocking back and forth in that motion that can only be achieved by intercourse, and I can almost feel his cock violating my asshole, making my body rock in that sexy, loving, decadent motion. I can feel the head pushing insistently against the tiniest hole he can have, that place that is reserved for him and only him...that place on my body that responds the most intensely to his probings. It opens up to him. It always opens for him. Sometimes it requires a lot of lube, sometimes just the lube from him eating me out, sometimes no lube at all. It always opens up for him, invites him in, pleads for his entry. Most times the initial entry is painful. If he pulls out and then enters again, its pure ecstacy until I get to an earth shattering orgasm. Sometimes it doesn't hurt at all and he just makes love to me. The sweet steady fucking motion of old familiar lovers. Sometimes I set the pace, sometimes he sets pace but the lovemaking almost ends up as assfucking because its the way we both like it best...it the way I orgasm best...its our special gift to each other.

I watch the clips of a beautiful on her knees looking up into the man's eyes while his cock rocks in and out of her mouth, and I wish it was me. More accurately, my absolute favorite is to have My Love sit on chest, take my head in his hands and fuck my mouth while I masturbate. Oh what a turn on..and I find it equally as appealling to watch it done by others. The feeling of a cock bumping against the back of my throat...My Love slowly pushing his cock down my throat until it won't go any further and holding it there. My Love doing this movement several times, then grabbing my hair and fucking my mouth hard and deep. How wet it makes me just thinking of it. How much I long to be taken. There is an extra special trust between lovers when a woman will let her man tie her down in a way that she is completely helpless and have his cock pointing her mouth. We have that kind of trust. I love to be taken totally and completely...taken...what a sweet word...so accurate in the way it feels when he takes control of a blowjob. He can go as deep as he wants, as hard as he wants, as soft as he wants, as gentle as he wants, as fast as he wants or as slow as he wants...its the most delicious taste as he fucks my face. Sometimes when I give him a blowjob, he doesn't want to come until we completely share our bodies...but sometimes when I give him a blowjob, I just have to make him come...HAVE TO. I get so completely turned on, so passionate, I need him to come in my mouth, I need to him to come in my throat...I need him to come before I can come.

And then there are the spanking movies, the spanking videos. So hard. So rough. So painful. I want it so...Punishment spankings are always my favorite to watch, not my favorite to get...most of the time. There is that frame of mind though...you know...THAT "frame of mind." The inner sub begs to be taken, to be fulfilled, to be abused. I want him to take me by the hand, lead me in to the perfect set up, the perfect spanking situation. Sometimes that means he ties me down so that I can't move, no matter what, and he beats me and beats me and beats me until my ass is black and blue (and purple and maybe a few more colors). The impact is so loud it sounds like a gunshot. This is just a fantasy of course, for now anyway. In the fantasy, the swats are so hard. I so admire the girls from Girls Boarding School and Realspankings.com. They take an ass-beating, the kind I sometimes want, and they never break. If you have never seen their school swats series...WOW. Oh how I want that. But oh how I'm terrified of that. Its times like this, when I am fantasizing....

I can close my eyes. I picture him with a slightly angry demeanor about him. He grabs me by my arm and bends me over. He tells me to grab my ankles. I don't want to but his tone makes me obey. I do it reluctantly. He blasts my ass so hard with the first couple of swats that it almost knocks me off my feet. That isn't good enough. He comes over to me, throws my skirt over my back (because I am always wearing a skirt in these fantasies), places his hand on the lower back and starts swatting again. 7, 8, 9, 10...my ass is on fire. Every bit of my ass hurts. Still he isn't done. This time he comes up and pulls my panties down. He swats my ass once and I try to get away. I curl up. He is having none of it. He pulls me up by waist and begins to paddle my ass in earnest. No matter how hard I struggle, no matter how much I cry, no matter how much I beg and scream, he keeps paddling until he can paddle no more...and then he releases me. I collapse on the floor, panties around my ankles. We are both out of breath and sweaty. We sit looking at each other for a moment...

And then his pants come off.

On a snowy, bitter cold day like today, if I can't have the real thing, I can at least daydream about it all day.

The Days After...

2007-01-23T11:35:00.000-08:00

As I'm sure you can imagine just by the very first picture, my ass is completely untouchable right at the moment. It hurts to sit when I first sit down...and of course, makes me grin. This is within the first 24 hours. The first two pictures are both within the first 24 hours. Then the pictures get really good.

My Love of course doesn't always remember that he beat my ass to a very bruised yet satisfied pulp. He likes to pat my bottom as I go by, or when he kisses me, or just whenever and sometimes his "pats" are not so gentle. Right at the moment, one of those little love taps is enough to send me soaring into tomorrow.
I know for a fact that my bottom has never been as bruised as it is this week. I LIKE it...I liked getting there. Bonnie asked me what the new spanking position for us was. I'm sure its not new to others, but I was actually on my knees in front of the headboard, with my hands perched on the headboard itself. It left the fleshiest part of my bottom a very agreeable target and absorber for the heavier implements. Being bent over touching toes or in a the doggie position can be very painful and worrisome to me because, although I have plenty of cush back there for just about anything, it all seems to disappear when Bruiser comes out to play. I'm always afraid something is actually going to get hurt and then so much for fun. I saw the position being used on Realspankings.com. I suspect it was specifically to keep their skinnier girls from being injured...and it made what used to be not so pleasant a very pleasant experience indeed...except for the ping pong paddle. It made the ping pong paddle hit in all the wrong places.
When I was looking at my bottom yesterday, I was really quite shocked. I knew I would have some serious bruising going on but this was even better than I had hoped. Its almost scary. Oh how it makes me giggle though...and arouses me to see it...and know that I was able to withstand it...not just happily, but asking for it.
I suspect it will get just a little more colorful before it starts going away. I haven't looked today. I am not as touch sensitive today as I was yesterday and day before, but I can still feel that we had a very good weekend. And it still makes me very very happy.
This one I KNEW was going to bruise...well, I didn't really know it but I was pretty sure. There were only a few whacks that landed astray but when they did, they landed in the same virgin territory...oh how it burned. Oh how good it started to feel. I don't like to be hit in this particular spot but that night...that night everything was different. And oh how I cannot wait to do it again.

A Weekend to Remember

2007-01-20T14:13:00.000-08:00

This was our starting point. Hubby had wanted to spank me at the beginning of the weekend. I admit that sometimes my submissive side is more prominent than other times. The more submissive I feel, the more I like the spankings, the harder Honey can spank me, the longer Hubby can spank me...its just a different feeling all together. Even when I am not feeling particularly submissive, I like the pained feelings of being spanked...I just don't handle it very well and Honey has to give it up way sooner than either of us really want...and of course, I have no lovely bruises to look at and enjoy. Oftentimes, the bruised feeling is there, at least for a day or two, but honestly, I like to SEE the bruises AND feel them.

Hubby and I got a new toy recently...a lexan paddle. The very first smack across my ass made me wonder if I had really thought this purchase through. Then about an hour after the trial run, I was pretty sure it was a good purchase. The beginning of this weekend, the lexan really got its first workout...and yes, I like it. It wasn't a particularly long or erotic session initially. Since I work midnight shift, when My Love is on his days off, I get off work, usually check email and then crawl into bed and snuggle my icy butt up against My Love's oh so warm body. This might not have been my best idea thi s particular weekend because after I woke him up with my frozen behind, he decided my bottom needed some warming up. He rubbed my tushy for a short while and then started retrieving implements. I was sleepy but thought to myself "Hmmmm...okay...whatever Honey wants, Honey gets...and this could be fun." Honey covered me all up so I would be nice and toasty warm, exposing just my bottom as I lay on stomach. The feeling of having my ass on display like that amazing. Very hot. Then leaned back on me so he was facing my ass while his body weight held me firmly in place. I got a little worried when I realized he had me pinned...this is usually a harbinger of spanking harder than what I will appreciate. I let it wander back and forth in my mind for a second or two...I was tired, I was exposed, I worked all night, its been a while since I had one of those really good spankings...and I decided to just completely relax and accept whatever Honey wanted to do...good, bad, painful, erotic, whatever....I don't remember what all he used, but he used a quite an array of toys on my ass.He spanked for quite a while, not terribly hard but enough for me to know he was enjoying it...and all the while he held me down. He caught me a few times when it was hard enough for me to try to struggle away from him, but it was the first hint that I had that my submissive side was needing attention. He eventually quit when I reminded him that I had worked all night. He quit and moved on to the loving. The gentle strokes of his hand, lotion to sooth my red ass, KY to get me ready for the rest of what he had in mind. It was okay. It didn't take long at all until I was panting like a bitch in heat...mostly because I was. He took me from behind, in the most submissive a woman can be had. He slipped his cock in my asshole with a moducom of resistance. It hurt just the tiniest bit, just enough to make it feel so good. He fucked me slowly. Then he fucked me hard. The harder the assfucking, the higher my passions ran. He sent me over the edge when he leaned on my back, cock buried deep in my ass, holding my hips so tight while he drove his manhood deeper and deeper and whispered in my ear how he planned on beating my ass this weekend, how hard he wanted to spank me, how much he wanted to blister my ass and then fuck me, fuck me everywhere, shove his cock down my throat and then fuck my ass again and again this weekend. That was the endgame...the whispering...the fantasy...it does it everytime. When I came, I came like a woman who has never had an orgasm before. My entire body shuddered and quaked. Honey wasn't far behind me. As I started to come, he grabbed my asscheeks, spread them apart and fucked my ass harder and faster, driving himself to the brink of his own orgasm, until, toward the end of my own moment(s) of bliss, I felt his cock swell in my ass, stretching my asshole even more and then feeling the heat of his cum in my ass. Oh how I love that feeling. We both collapsed on the bed, panting, me on bottom, where I most like to be, him on top, his cock still buried in my ass, and we dozed off. What a way to start the weekend.

But that wasn't the end. All weekend I have been in an unusually submissive mood. I have been wanting My Love to beat my ass just like he whispered in my ear. I have fantasies of him leading me into the bedroom, holding my hand. When we get in there, he closes the door, bends me over, exposes my ass, lays his hand on the small of my back and proceeds to give me five hard swats on my ass...he gives me a break, and then he does it again. Hard. The kind that I don't like but savor in my fantasies for months after. I had seen a spanking position that Honey and I hadn't tried before and it looked interesting to me...it looked like a position that would allow me to quite possibly enjoy some of our more severe implements to a greater extent...and I was right! Oddly enough, it was not such a good position for some of our lighter toys, like the ping pong paddle. I LOVE the ping pong paddle. It stings, its light, it leaves my ass all bright red and tingly for a long time...and Honey can really smack around pretty hard and for a bit without causing me a great deal of distress. So....My Love starts out my weekend with a very enjoyable, slightly painful but very pleasant paddling of my ass. Last night we took my submission to all new heights. There were several implements employed but I believe the main ones were the lexan, our homemade holey paddle and Bruiser. I was so right about the position. The new position session was somewhere between the first spanking session and last night, but it was good. It was a moderately painful session. Honey was spanking me very much like the videos I so enjoy watching. Not real fast, but a lot like you would expect a punishment paddling to be...without the intensity behind it. Honestly, I don't know how much umpfff he was putting into it, but it didn't feel so bad. I think this position has a future. The first and second pictures here are after those "light" sessions

Last night...last night was amazing. Honey and I stayed up way too late and almost didn't have our little lovefest. Once we got in bed, I thought maybe if we popped in a porn movie it would help wake us up. It worked. It worked bigtime! We snuggled for a bit and then Honey told me to come lay across his lap. I got immediate tingles in my womanly parts and butterflies in my tummy. Laying across his lap while he spanks me has got to be one of the single most erotic, most arousing things that I have ever experienced, second only to my expert manipulations of My Love's tongue and lips. I layed in a position that afforded me a view of the porn movie while I layed across Honey's lap. I can't completely recount the events that occurred after that. Honey started spanking me. I can tell you that much. Two hours later, Honey was wrapping up spanking me. The spanking was long. The spanking started off very mild and built in intensity. The spanking ended up Bruiser and the lexan, and it was no longer mild. I remember thinking myself in the midst of it, "I'm probably going to be really sorry about this tomorrow." Honey used the ping pong early into it. I wanted something harder. Honey used the plastic hairbrush. I wanted him to beat me with it in ways that he probably wouldn't be comfortable with. When Honey got to the serious paddles, I went into what I can only describe as subspace. I don't know if that's what it really was or not. All I know is I wanted him to use those paddles in ways that I would be feel and see for days afterward. I craved the pain. I needed the pain. I made no noise...it wasn't necessary because it was not that kind of pain. As hard as Honey would hit, I stayed still...I was all but immoveable. The more he spanked, the more I wanted. I masturbated throught about half the spanking. The other half...I just wanted to feel.

I wanted to feel the burn. I wanted the sting. I wanted it a lot. I jacked My Love off while he spanked. He cock felt so good in my hand, so hard. I could tell beating my ass was turning him on as much as it turned me on. He would take periodic breaks to rub the globes of my ass, probe the depths of womanhood and marvel at how wet I was, and then he would start again. He spanked and he spanked and he spanked. I didn't want him to stop...and he didn't. I wanted him to spank me harder...and he did. In truth, as hard as he spanked me, and for a long time too, he still could have spanked me harder in the frame of mind I was in. Every burn aroused me more. The stray strokes the assaulted my thighs only aroused me more. Honey got into a rhythm. I don't know if it was Bruiser or the lexan he used. I know he used both more last night than he has used probably all of our spankings tools since we started in this newest adventure.

I could feel heat rising from ass as he spanked...and still I wanted more. I felt heat rising from my womanhood...and I wanted more. I asked My Love to stop and make love to me once. He wasn't ready. He asked me if I could take a few more. I told him yes. He resumed his spanking. He continued his probings of my ass and my pussy. There was unbelievable period where I had a vibrator and was enticing my clit with it while Honey had the extra fancy vibrator, the one called "The Seahorse" and was delving in my parts. Since I had spent hours in the doggie position and variations thereof, Honey climbed off the bed and moved around in front of me. He fed me his hard cock. I lavished all my attentions on his beloved member. He fucked my mouth with all the passion and love that was flowing between us. Then he moved back behind me again and we made love. Sweet love, hard love, passionate love. When he got ready to come, he pulled out of me and came all over my well-beaten ass. I came not long after him and together, we collapsed on the bed, across the bed instead of the way one is meant to use the bed and promptly fell asleep, completely spent.

You can't really tell from these pictures, at least not yet, but my ass is completely bruised. After going so long without bruises, we have more than made up for lost discoloring. As I said, it isn't quite as visible in the pictures as it is in real life, but the bruising appears to be from where those dark spots are that you CAN see all the way down to the very tops of my thighs. I believe my entire ass is bruised...and it aches every time I sit down, or wiggle, or move. Its very good and writing about it, looking at the pictures, thinking about it makes me wet in anticipation of the next time.

A Helping Hand

2007-01-15T09:21:00.000-08:00

Lately, it just seems like its one little stressful moment after another. The only time I find myself completely unstressed is when I am watching movies of girls getting the bottoms seriously beaten, battered and bruised...and then that gets on the stressful side because I WANT that but I really can't handle it...most of the time...but it doesn't stop me from fantasizing about it. I don't know about anyone else, but no matter how much I want to be bent over the trunk or thrown over a lap and have my ass beaten black and blue, I have a serious problem asking for it. I get butterflies in my stomach. My heart skips a beat...and no matter how hard I try, the words just won't slip through my lips. Last night, after 2 days of bad weather, constant computer problems (internet, not computer), new school woes, and never-ending job problems, I was watching my newest favorite show and watching tons of spanking movies I have saved to my harddrive. Honey got the hint loud and clear.

When I went to get ready for work, I thought he had missed it completely. I was disappointed but the butterflies started settling in my stomach. About halfway through my getting ready, I saw Honey head for the toy drawer. The butterflies started again. I thought I saw him retrieve something from the drawer and my heartbeat sped up. Mere moments later he was on the otherside of the room and his hands were empty. Once again, I was disappointed but I figured my ass was saved...quite literally. Disappointed but relieved.
Then, as I headed into the last few minutes before leaving for work, Honey popped up with some of his and my favorite spanking toys. I was thrilled. I love before work spankings...especially the ones that leave my ass all hot and stingy...and if I'm real lucky, it will hurt the rest of the night when I sit down. He told me he was going to have to make it quick. And oh yes, he certainly did. He started with the ping pong paddle...just about 20 swats total...10 on each side. It took all I had to stand still...but I enjoyed every single stingy moment of it. Then he brought out the wooden hairbrush paddle. Its thick and heavy. It hurts like nobody's business. I wanted to be hit really really hard with it over and over....but alas, the wimp in me won out. 10 times with that one and I was dancing around the bedroom holding my butt cheeks in my hands. I thought that was the end but Honey had another surprise for me. He had the cane laying in wait. I'm not a cane fan really, but whatever Honey wanted was okay with me. 5 cane strokes later, and I was ready for work. I had to take a quick peak in the mirror and was amazed at how red my ass was, so we had to grab the camera and pop off a couple of pictures before I ran out the door.

Looking at the pictures now, I am unbelieveably horny. It really does make me wet just looking at the pictures. It throws me back into the moment and makes me wish I was there again. I can hope for a repeat performance tonight...maybe a little earlier tonight so we can enjoy some twosome time....Oh that just sounds luscious, doesn't it?

Worth the Wait

2007-01-13T18:39:00.000-08:00

I waited all night long. Now, as I lay across his lap, all I can think is, "Oh finally!!"

Hello to All...

2007-01-07T14:46:00.000-08:00

I can't believe it but I have absolutely no pictures today! It isn't for lack of practice. My ass has been spanked on every single day since right around Christmas. Some really good spankings too but for some reason it isn't marking...its really strange. Although, much to my surprise, it seems the plumpy part of buttcheeks are now permanently red. Its kind of funny. I do have a couple of little bruises but if you knew the punishment my poor little bottom had suffered through, it just isn't fair that there isn't real bruising. There may be soon if we leave my ass alone...there may not be. Its strange where ones bottom will bruise after a spanking...not always in the places one expects. I am actually hoping for a little bottom action tonight but its hard to say because my ass has been so sore it can't hardly stand to be touched, much less spanked. I have found recently though that if I will just grit my teeth through about the first 3 or 4 (sometimes more) swats of just about any implement, my ass just kind of goes numb and I can enjoy it...I can't breathe but I can enjoy it.

This is probably on the egocentric side but I love to check my site maps and see who all has visited my blog, where they are from, and then sometimes actually have some wild fantasies. I have found that I have pretty regular visitors from all over Europe...you folks are kinky over there...makes me wish I lived there. I find almost all the best implements come from there too. One of my absolute favorite bands in the world is Queen. I can't help but wish that Roger, Brian and John stopped in from time to time...I would offer up my ass to any of them in a heartbeat..theirs for the taking to do with as they please.

I have noticed some visitors in the Middle East and I wonder if they are military, fighting for our cause, for the cause of freedom, democracy and liberty. If so, I hope this blog helps them not miss home so much. Know that you have my support and feel free to make contact any time.

Its hard to say whether the kinkier folks are in the US or Europe. I can't pinpoint a specific area of Europe...it seems to be spread out over all of Europe. I know in the US, the Eastern states are way kinkier than the western states. I like the Eastern states, although that is not where I live. You would think the southern states would be more into spanking because the Southerners are, well, Southerners....think Gone with the Wind, which should have been set in Louisiana but that is nitpicking. I am a Southern gal myself...and oh so proud of it.

I am especially fond of the thought of the New Zealanders and Australians that visit. Its really because I so desperately want to visit both areas (but perhaps Europe first...so much history!).

To my regular visitors, I bid you a great big thank you for visiting...I have met a few of you by email and I am thrilled. For the rest, feel free to drop a line anytime...good or bad...its the occasional comments that keep this blog going.

My fellow bloggers, I find new blogs every day and am steadily impressed by the amazing writers that are lurking out there...maybe some day we should all get together and write some proper spanking books, mixes of fact and fantasy...how hot would that be????????????????

This is just my way of saying hello, I appreciate my readers and Happy Spanking!

First Entry of the Rear...I mean Year

2007-01-03T19:29:00.000-08:00

I wanted to bring in the New Year with a nicely bruised and pinkish tinted butt...a well-used bottom. We decided to start early. We started Christmas Eve. This very first picture was my private Christmas present. We did our usual family get together stuff but before we went, My Love bent me over the trunk in our bedroom for a nice little warm up...something to keep me going until we got back. After we returned, much to our surprise, the kids all left for parts other than ours and My Love took the opportunity to give me a fine tanning. Oh, it took a few tries to get it to here, but I after a bit, some whining, some pouting, some resistance, all from me of course, I ended up with a nice warm rosy bottom to be proud of. My Love says the new tattoo is quite a visual plus to his spanking enjoyment...not to mention his other enjoyments. His viewing pleasure always been important to me. After my bottom ends up this red, he likes to take me from behind. After a really good spanking, in particular the kind that makes me beg for him to stop, it turns out I am quite aroused. Then My Love continues to perform his magic on my body until I am a panting, writhing ball of ecstasy (sometimes quite literally). He is fond of laying his hands on and grabbing hold of my still warm butt cheeks while he makes loves to me.

Sometimes he'll lay his scruffy cheek on my very hot bottom and rub his bristles across my already burning cheeks while he plays with my female parts...He says he likes feeling the warmth and he likes even more feeling how much I like it. For my Christmas present, I asked for a well spanked bottom, preferably one with bruises and all the wonderful little after effects that go along with a well-spanked bottom. I got them. I layed across his lap in our bed and My Love proceeded to take great liberty with all the implements that we have. This actually serves double duty. We get a chance to see, each of us, which toys are our favorites. I got spanked, I got slightly bruised and I got made love to and was as happy as any little girl on Christmas morning having been visited by own private Santa Claus.

For New Year's, I wanted more. I had to work as the New Year came in so I wanted what all good, bad little girls want. I wanted a bruised, battered and sore butt, one that I could view any time I wanted, one that I could feel every time I sat down, or moved around in my chair, one that made me wince without thinking about it so I had My Love with me as the New Year came in in spirit, if not in person. We started spanking on my bottom every 30 minutes to every couple of hours and visitors and family allowed on New Year's eve and we didn't stop. I saw a spanking video on my newest favorite spanking paysite and this poor girls bottom was so bruised that I won't show my Honey...but I want it.

I won't show him because he will seriously give me what I want...and I will be a very pouty girl for a while after...and the idea of being spanked that hard scares me to death...but it oh-so-turns me on, too. I won't show it to him, but we are working on it. I have been spanked several times a day since New Year's Eve. The results are surprisingly minimal visually...but I tell you, the bruised feeling is most definitely there.

New Year's eve we were able to find the time for spanking but not for making love...which disappointed me, but that is the way things go when you try to plan things like making love. The next day however, New Year's Day...oh did we ever make up for it. I refused to see the New Year come in without a good, sound spanking but even more, without a good love-making session. In my fantasy, My Love Spanked my ass really good. Made me kick, squirm, whine and all the while, he was holding me down by the small of my back.

The reality was pretty damned good. He did spank me good before we made love. He spanked me with the nice little things you see in this picture. He started out with the ping pong paddle. We were alone briefly on New Years Day and we too full advantage of all our really noisy toys. The ping pong paddle is always a good place to start for me. Its light so it makes a whole lot of noise, it gets the bottom quite stingy and it turns it red as came be...a nice warm up paddle. Then we moved on the hairbrush. The plastic hairbrush is much like the ping pong paddle. Its noisy, it stings a lot and it makes the bottom the prettiest shades of red. If you use the hairbrush long enough, one's bottom will become quite crimson, eventually downright maroon. It leaves me with a nice warm feeling for quite a while so this is often my "implement of choice" before going to work.
Honey has become quite fond of the tiny oak paddle. Its not aesthetically my favorite but it has some fine points as I was reminded as it fell upon my ass time after time. It can be used as one butt cheek, or it can be used on both at the same time...I guess that might depend on the size of ones butt cheeks but it handles both of mine just fine when applied by My Honey. I had the bright idea of using the homemade strap after the paddlings to "brighten" things up a little...ouch...stupid...what was I thinking? Oh my goodness. Not only had I forgotten how loud it is, I think my positioning must have been bad. Normally when I take a spanking from My Honey, I am either over his lap or bent over our trunk (I am oh so anxious to try over the couch, over the arm of the couch, laying on the couch, kneeling on the floor with my top on the couch...alas, until all of our children leave home and it doesn't look like that is going to happen any time soon and we have all their keys back), but this time, we decided to try the "touch the toes" position. It was not as painless as it usually is. Belts in general are pretty much painless to me but they make nice marks. When I'm not particularly mood for the painful side of it but Hubby wants to spank me good, this is a very good implement (hopefully he won't read that particular part of this post). In fact, it was downright painful, especially the swing went high, although surprisingly the one that landed across my thighs didn't hurt. I hate thigh hits...hate them hate them hate them HATE THEM!
It didn't take long until we were in the bed taking care of the rest of the what I needed for the first day of the year. After completely declothing each other, I used my mouth to bring My Love's erection to fully alert status. I love doing this. It gives me the opportunity to lick, tease, and swallow that loving part of him and fully appreciate his acknowledgement of my attentions. He reciprocated. We ended up in a classic 69 position. At some point, I don't exactly remember when or how, I ended up straddling him, my head bobbing up and down, and he wrapped his legs around my waist. I wondered if this was a good idea but was more concerned with what I was doing at the moment to give it too much thought. I felt the bath brush rub across my bottom and thought to myself "Oh....yeah, that's a good idea." And it was...mostly. He began to spank my bottom, cheek to cheek while I showed his cock all my loving attention. He spanked and as he spanked, his swats got steadily harder. He spanked and he spanked and he spanked. He spanked until I could no longer ignore the pain. I sat up what little I could and moan. He continued to spank me and spank me hard. I groaned for him to stop. He spanked me and spanked me harder. I struggled to get free. I locked his legs tightly around me and spanked me all the harder. He spanked me until he decided he was done. When he finally let me go, I was so aroused I couldn't sit still.
He told me to get into doggie position, which I did readily and quickly. He took out the KY and he lubed up his favorite spot to make love to me. He fingered me hard, loosening and lubing at the same time. He leaned against me, his pelvis and his cock pressing against my backside, telling me EXACTLY what he had in mind. I found myself panting with fear and passion. We rocked back and forth as he prepared my body for his invasion. Finally when he deemed I was ready, when he could wait no longer, his hands groped my aching ass, spread it wide and I felt the head of his cock pressing against me. He entered me. He didn't ease into me but entered me hard, fully impaling himself in my ass in one stroke. It took my breath away. It gave me goosebumps all over my body. It was the most exquisite pain. It knocked the air out of me. I groan of pain escaped my lips. He held himself there for a moment, for both of us to fully appreciate the sensation.

And then the fucking began. It was passionate. It was painful. It was hard. It was loving. It was everything I wanted it to be and more. My Love held me tight, he ground his pelvis into my painful ass, he groped and squeesed my tits in perfect unison to his strokes. As the passion heightened, I could hear noises and realized they were coming from me. Our orgasms came quickly and came hard. It felt like it lasted forever. I could feel My Love's cock swell as he pounded into me at a fevered pitch, as my own moans of passion and pleasure rose. We came simultaneously. The moans of ecstacy may well have rattled our entire house and definitely rattled our bed. We collapsed onto the bed, me on the bottom, My Love on top me, still impaled. We huffed and puffed and tried desperately to regain our breath. Our mouths were so dry. The waves of afterglow began. We began to giggle. My Love kissed me head, kissed me cheek, rubbed my body up and down until finally, we both could breath again, the giggling subsided and we were left with just the loving words of new lovers, old lovers, very much in love lovers....

And a very red ass to remind me for several days of the way we spent the first day of 2007.

What I Got for Christmas and my hopes for the New Year

2006-12-26T11:21:00.000-08:00

The things that I wanted for Christmas this year were much like most years with just a few exceptions. Materially, I have everything I could possibly want. I have a beautiful home, I have food on my table, I have great kids, I have more clothes and shoes than any woman should have (which reminds me, its time to go through my stuff and give to the less fortunate, which I try to do every year, the Salvation Army being my personal favorite because at least in MY hometown, Goodwill charges too much for truly poor people to afford), I have stuff, you know all those goodies that a girl just can't live without but has no room for....I have a phenomenal husband (okay, maybe that isn't really a material thing but he's a touchable thing, and oh so touchable, so I'll include him). I have a good job (depending on your perspective...I have a very good paying job that I do actually love...if we could just take politics out of it...that and the boss that I have zero respect for...but we'll get to that later). So what could I ask for for Christmas?

Anything Tinkerbell, because I really am Tinkerbell...I'm just bigger now because I kept getting stepped on.

Anything Star Wars...just because I'm a Star Wars FREAK...I am particularly fond of, and this is the general order of my fandom:

1. R2-D2

2. Yoda

This may actually be a tie for a first because I really like both

3. Obi-Wan (Ewan MacGregor in particular although I like both)

4. Qui-gon Jinn (Liam Neesom is just SO do-able)

5. Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vadar (love/hate him- the young actor looks too much like my ex-husband )

6. Padme'

7. Chewbacca

8. Everyone else Star Wars...EVERYONE

Several spanking toys and spanking websites that I have had my eye on.

A really good hard Christmas spanking (imagine that...isn't that what I usually wish for?)

Well, I got all kinds of cool Tink stuff. I got 5 Tink baby tee's, a pair of Think slipper socks, a Tink lightweight hoodie. On the polar opposite, I got a Boondocks Saints (my heros) hoodie, a Boondock Saints baby tee and matching g-string and I got my Loving Man his own Boondocks T-shirt, so now he has two (his superhero's too).

I got the MOST awesome R2-D2 ever...totally interactive. He is WAY cool!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As I was putting together my Christmas presents for others this year, I came across a cute little bath set that I had intended to give to someone...but just HAD to keep. Before I made the decision, I actually took it apart to try it out. It included a dogleg bathbrush that gave me visions of Bonnie from My Bottom Smarts. I kept looking at that brush while I was wrapping and I finally just couldn't take it anymore. It helped too, that the particular individual that I had intended that present for is someone I don't particularly care for at work (I don't seriously dislike this person, this person is just kind of annoying) so the idea of handing off a present that this person might use in their bath after it had been secretly used to beat my ass in a most pleasureable way...well, it was amusing. As it turns out, we didn't just try it out once, we tried it out several times and then I decided I HAD to have it. It hurts like the dickens but it is such a sweet hurt...and its kind of on quiet side (as long as I bury my head in the pillows and don't groan and grunt and huff and puff too loudly). We now have a dogleg brush to add to our arsenal. I have to tell you, the drawer that we keep our "toys" in is flowing over these days. I think we are going to have to find a new drawer or expand to TWO toy drawers. I love the toys though.

As far as spanking toys, boy have I been a bad bad girl about buying this year. I got a carpet beater. I was SO disappointed! Tell me....why do they wince when getting the carpet beater across the ass. Other than the little shock that happens everytime something makes contact with my bare ass, it was just almost pointless. Not so bad for a really bruised butt when the hubby just HAS to smack around on your ass....but as far as reaching that pain high or whatever it is that I have to get to when I'm in that frame of mind...it surely isn't happening with that...but its cute!

When it comes to wishes for Christmas that don't include toys, I wish that my ass was beat this good again. Getting to this point is difficult, I admit it. I can be quite the big baby for a girl who likes to have her man whack around on her ass. I pout, I whine, I cry (okay, not really cry but I whine a LOT). Especially where Bruiser is concerned but really I like the afterburn." I don't know how to describe it and I surely don't know how to explain. If My Love were to hold me down and beat my ass like I want it done, I would be angry and we would probably never play again. I would burn all the toys and everytime My Love came near me I would be terrified. Not so good for playtime. When I am in "that mood", it seems I become completely submissive. I don't tense up after the first swat or two. I don't feel the pain as intensely as when I am NOT in the mood or in that specific submissive frame of mind. These are the times that I want to truly have my ass abused. I say abused because it is the only term I can think of to describe the "sensation" I am looking for. I don't want to be in writhing, screaming and hollering uncontrollable pain but I most definitely am looking for something more than just a few little love taps.

Last night was a prime example. I laid across My Loves lap. I was completely relaxed and ready for whatever he wanted to do..and quite possibly more than he wanted to do. I am sitting on a slightly bruised feeling bum today but I would have been perfectly happy to have him make me sit on a VERY bruised bum today. I still don't have it out of my system, as a matter of fact. I know I thought to myself for the last few days that I thought I needed to be spanked at LEAST hard enough to break the newest, thin holey paddle...and we most certainly did that. Its funny when it happens. My Love didn't seem quite as shocked or freaked out about this time. He did, in fact, show it to me and congradulated me for breaking another one (like I'm the one swinging it). I was a tad disappointed. I don't think the next biggest size will break very soon but you never can tell. I have been in a particularly masochistic, submissive frame of mind since trouble started at work. If we had no kids at home, we would have no trouble taking care of my needs, but all of my favorite implements are so noisy, I am not comfortable having my needs taken care of when they are here and trying to arrange for them NOT to be here takes the mood away completely.

This is our current arsenal..Actually, I think we have added a couple of things since this picture was taken a couple of weeks ago. Starting from the right side, we have the riding crop. I don't much care for the riding crop but much to my surprise, I have discovered that there is a certain sensuality of laying crosswise on the bed with my head hanging off the side. My Love fucks my mouth, at his own pace, using my mouth and my throat to masturbate with. This position offers the deepest and most comfortable position to deep-throat in a most submissive way while leaving all a girls "naughty bits" available for his viewing, groping and playing pleasure. Once upon a time, he decided he wanted to flog my most intimate female parts while I masturbated and gave him head...and it was FANTASTIC! Obviously, this is one of those things that takes a light touch (at least for me) to be pleasurable, but pleasurable it was and pleasurable it has been when we have done it since.

To the right of the riding crop is Bruiser. He doesn't look nearly as evil in this picture as he really is. Bruiser is about an inch thick (I think its actually 7/8 inch but who's counting). I can't tell you how long Bruiser but just think Animal House. It is a real frat paddle and it hurts like hell when swung with meaning. So much so, in fact, that I actually find myself concerned about the bones in the butt. I'm probably just being paranoid but I can't help it. That and the skin feels like its going to burst when swung in earnest. I don't like Bruiser at all, but I find sometimes there is no replacement for it either.

The little hairbrush looking paddle is a deceptive looking little thing. It is about 1/4 inch thick and hits with a thud that will rattle your teeth. That little paddle and my bottom were reintroduced last night...because it was just one of those nights. I don't generally like it much anymore (I loved it when I first got it). This is one of our very first spanking toys ever bought. It has particualr sentimental value. Its no wonder I like a harder spanking than some...I started out with harder implements.

The two spoons are stingy as can be! These two laying opposite each other are my lightest and my heaviest...side by side. There is a woman I work with who has guardianship of her retarded niece. She will threaten the niece with a wooden spoon when she is being naughty. Two thoughts always run simultaneously through my head when she tells these stories. #1: She is freak that has never been "fleshed out." With just a little direction from the right man...or maybe even woman, she could be quite the successful dominatrix....although she could probably do with some time over a particularly firm tops knee to let out the sexual beast so deeply suppressed in her (and no, she can't borrow mine...I don't care how good friends we are) and 2: I have to suppress the giggle that begins to bubble up from my stomach because while she is talking about how much a woooden spoon hurts and what a great tool it is for disciplinary reasons, all I can think about it is the erotic sting and OBVIOUS markings that are made on my ass by wooden spoons...AND WE HAVE 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sometimes nothing else will work to achieve that achy, burny feeling better than a wooden spoon.

Beside the wooden spoons is one of my newest paddles. It is tiny but it packs quite a punch. It is oak and so much heavier on the ass than it looks like it would be. My Love thought that one was a good idea last night as well. If you haven't guessed, the theme last night was hard and thuddy...I can't believe I haven't gotten into any details about it yet but we played for about 2 hours...and my ass is sore, but not nearly as sore as I had hoped. I am hoping to remedy that problem throughout the week. I am hoping to bring in the New Year with a very bruised, very sore ass.

Next to the paddle is the homemade strap My Love made for me. I like that one. It isn't particularly severe feeling no matter how hard it swings it...and He has tried to swing it hard for me. It is nice little break when we are having a really severe session. Lets just say it gives my tushy a little break while still keeping it warm and rosy. I LOVE that strap. It feels like a belt, makes me feel very much like a little girl and is as soft as it is stingy.

Moving right along, we have another wooden spoon, this one in the mid-range...not as thuddy as the really big long one and not as gentle as the light one. Just right for Momma Bear, I guess. Next to it is a smaller wooden hairbrush that hurts a lot...not an amateurs weapon and not one I would recommend starting out with...it was quite a shock when we got it home and tried it out. Save this little brush for relatively low noise, maximum pain play.

Beside the spoon and brush is another of my new paddles. It came as a set with the paddle on the other side of the homemade strap. Much heavier than it looks, very thuddy and used to my great pleasure last night upon my very needy ass. I was liking it for the very first time since we got it. My Love used it on both ass-cheeks at once. It caused a pained noise to escape my lungs and lips and I very much enjoyed it. I think it might be a keeper after all.

Ah...we come to the ping pong paddle, AKA a table tennis paddle. This one came in a set and I suspect that one day it will break, so the second will be most useful at that time.I LOVE the ping pong paddle...I do NOT love the noise associated with it. Actually, that isn't entirely true. I do like the noise but its not good for kids in the house. It is very loud, very light, very stingy. My Love can lay some pretty hard swats on my ass with this paddle and keep on going. It will make me dance around some because it is definitely stingy but I like this one. This is one of my consistent favorites and on those nights that I want a sting that will carry with me for a while, this is the perfect tool. It brightens up the ass for My Honey's visual pleasure, causes a great deal of heat to be radiated and really, the pain is most tolerable. I think we will have to have one of these around for good.

The square hairbrush is another of my favorites for all the same reasons as the ping pong paddle. Nice rosy cheeks, stingy ass, minimal pain. Love, love, love these two. I saw some videos from Girls Boarding School where both were used and just HAD to try them out. That man looks like he really gives it to the girls hard and their asses turn all shades of red. I now know exactly what they were feeling and can say I have at least been close to being paddled as much as hard. I like it. Keepers, both of them, good for the beginner and the experienced spanker and spankee.

The next two paddles are also special paddles. My Love made them both for me. One is skinny and one is about 1/2 thick...maybe only a quarter. They are both very light hitters obviously the really skinny one being the lightest touch. We were playing with them last night when the skinny one broke. I was disappointed but it was too light a hitter anyway. I like the heavier one better. My Love can use it on just cheek at a time or both cheeks depending on his mood. I now have 2 late great holey paddles and can say that My Love has broken implements across my ass. We have decided that he isn't going to make any holey paddles that skinny again because they just can't hold up under the strain. He likes to hit hard and I like to be hit hard (sometimes) and we need something that can hold up to our needs. We still haven't found anything that leaves bruises like the first late great paddle but we are still looking.

It seems I made an error. The end implement is the homemade strap I mentioned earlier. The implement I thought was the homemade strap is actually a long skinny paddle that I think they refer to as a shoehorn paddle. I don't like it. We don't use it often. About the only time we do use it is when we are having one of those nights that we decide to try every implement we have on my ass. I find nothing enjoyable about it and it doesn't even leave nice marks.

Across the top of all the other spanking tools are our two canes and the leather heart paddle. The leather heart paddle is just a joke. Great for those that THINK they want to play but don't want to experience any pain while engaging in the sado-masochistic, dominant/submissive scene. Its just a toy. The canes....well, canes are canes. The school cane is quiet, mostly, but YEOWCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Not too bad with the first swing, most of the time but 2 or 3 into it and you know why it was used as a disciplinary instrument. Hubby really likes the cane. He likes the "stripes" it leaves...and I love him so I grit my teeth and let the rattan fly. Occasionally, even I want that feel but usually its just for his benefit. The little cane, I think it was advertised as a "pocket cane" or something like that...with enough repeated use, and really really hard, there is a little cane'ish feeling, but its mostly just a toy...or maybe its a nice break. I'll take it over the real cane anyday. I have watched some videos where some poor young girl is bent over and usually a female is wailing away on her ass (and sometimes thighs) with a cane and all I can think of is "YEOWCH...how can she just stand there??????????????????" Brave, tough young girls. I am envious.

Normally, I am one of those "kickers." As the pain increases, I start kicking, I start trying to cover my assaulted areas with my hands...you know, all those things little girls do...run around in circles, say no no no no no no. It just so happens that on Christmas, as I was serving out an undeserved day of suspension at work (different story all together), there was no kicking, there was no guarding my ass. I was completely relaxed. I was completely submissive. I was completely ready for any kind of abuse My Love wanted to inflict upon my bottom...I welcomed it...I craved it. I think he enjoyed the total submission too. I so seldom can completely give myself up without a fight, without some complaint. I layed across My Loves lap and I left up to him what he would spank me with, how hard he would spank me, how long he would spank me. Because of my recent frame of mind, I have needed My Love's heavy hand to help me relieve my stress and my agression as well as his loving support. The spanking is a form of support, I suppose and I don't really think My Love knows just how much he really does for me. He knows it helps but I think he sees it as a playful kind of therapy. Its not. It often keeps me from blowing up at work, especially when I have to deal with stupidity of the most unimaginable nature. I like to spanked not just for pleasure, which it definitely is but for much more emotional reasons. I don't have to understand them and neither does MyLove. The mere fact that we are both aware they exist is enough...at least for now. Finding a way to let My Love know when I need something of the more intense type, that is a trick we are still working on. I can't just bring myself ot hand him an implement and tell him "beat my ass as hard as you can." I have tried saying it when we are together, but I can't say it loud enough most often for him to hear me and its hard enough to make myself once...I cannot usually repeat myself...and it takes too me too much out of the space to say it. So I must find another way.

As I write this, we have made a quick trip once to the bedroom for him to treat me to the ping pong paddle. My subspace is not what it was yesterday but it is still there. He has already dragged out Bruiser and informed me that I will be visited by it before work tonight. I'm not thrilled...or am I? I won't like it while its being used, but I will like it later tonight when I'm feeling the effects...besides we have SO much spanking to do by the first if my ass is really going to be bruised to my satisfaction for the New Year!

A Spanking Good Time

2006-12-18T19:52:00.000-08:00

We have, of recent, been having quite the spanking good time. Everytime I post pictures, they are pictures within the last 24-48 hours. Quite often it is right after a spanking, as you can tell by the glowing red buttocks. These pictures are after last nights proper paddling. It turned into a pretty humorous and quite fun little romp, although not so much of the sexual nature as just a good time. My Love decided to give me a little something to go to work on. He brought out our hairbrush (one of my very favorite implements) and one of the newest homemade holey paddles, the thicker one, I think but I'm really not positive. He gave me what he calls a warmup. A warm up from My Honey means ten or more pretty powerful smacks on my poor innocent ass. It smarts to say the least. Well, at about 10 I was ready for him to stop...which he didn't do. I began to protest...my tolerance is for barely 10 and he wasn't even slowing up. Finally, after I don't know how many more swings, he stops and laughingly tells me "Trust me. You'll appreciate the warm up soon..." At this point, I go into fight or flight mode...actually, I think I was in fight AND flight mode. I began protesting in a most serious way. Having been on the receiving end of Bruiser more than once when Honey decides he's feeling a little sadistic, I was ready to give up all play. You know, willing spankee or not, there are some things you just shouldn't say before you start walloping someone.

So...the fight was on. I lost. Three firm smacks into the losing battle, Honey tells me if I don't stop fighting, its just going to get keep harder. So I gave up. Actually, the second level of my of late nightly spankings was not so bad (comparatively), it was what he said that caused all the commotion. Having never fought My Love before when you wanted to smack around on my ass, after all was said and done, we both decided it was kinda fun. He has never "manhandled" me before, and I have never fought him before. I have always been a willing participant to pretty much anything he wanted to do or try. Later in the night we were talking about it, giggling about it and both decided we kinda liked that. Not something to do everytime, of course, and I'm probably in for a world of hurt because of it, but it was a nice change of pace. And as you can see from the pictures, I took a pretty resounding paddling. It all made for a pretty pleasant send off to work.

Being "Outed"

2006-12-17T06:26:00.000-08:00

I admit I thought the timing was very amusing. Bonnie from My Bottom Smarts had her weekly brunch last week. The question was basically "How out are you and how out are you willing to be?" You have to admit, this is a really good question. I'm not terribly anxious to be outed or for my friends and loved ones to know about my bedroom play...keeping that in mind, I have referred a couple of friends to a couple of my favorite blogs and it just so happens that this blog links with those blogs. Did I think about that when I was telling them about the blogs I so love to read? NO!!!!!! Did I forget that some of friends have friends and loved ones that spend a LOT of time on the internet? HELL YES!!!!!!!!!! Do I feel a little bit like the dumb blonde? Why yes, I do. I don't guarantee that I managed to out myself, but a very good friend of mine popped off with a comment about needing to go get her spanking...and my immediate thought was "CLOSE THAT DOOR!!!!!!!!!!!!" I can almost guarantee that MY closet is WAY bigger than my friends, and I was aghast at having discovered that door ajar.

Am I embarassed by it? Absolutely not. I engage in a completely fulfilling sex life and it does involves a few kinks here and there. I happen to LIKE the toasty, stingy feeling of my lover applying a hard instrument to my ever growing orbs of my hiney. I like the bright red glow that develops. I have very white skin so I brighten up pretty quickly. I enjoy for some reason that I don't completely understand being pushed to the edge of my pain threshold. I like it way more than I ever thought was possible. There is an intimate bond that occurs between lovers when one allows the other to paddle to their hearts content. I know beyond any shadow of a doubt that I like the submissive feeling associated with it. I like to be handled. I like to be controlled. But only in the privacy of our home, the privacy of our bedroom.

I like sitting on a bottom that is just a little sensitive from bruises left with love and lust. I LOVE the erection My Love gets the harder he paddles my ass. SO.....if I have been outed...hehehehehe...I won't talk about your secrets with anyone other than you if you won't talk about mine...and if I haven't been outed...lesson learned.

I have my next two blogs planned out already. One will be about our brand new paddles!!!! And we have so many. I went paddle crazy. So did my love. The rosy cheeks here are compliments of My Love...he spent many hours replacing my Late Great Holey Paddle...WE NOW HAVE TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So I have never have to be without a paddle again...well, a favorite paddle again. He made me on that is pretty thin. Its actually pleasant...a good warmer upper (but at the moment I'm really liking the ping pong paddle and the hairbrush as warmer uppers) and one about twice as thick that has a little thud to it, packs a little bit bigger punch but for the most part is oh so tolerable. As any spankee knows, pretty much anything can become an owie maker if applied long enough. And Honey is definitely a believer in going longer than I really think is necessary...but its okay...I'm always happy with the end result.

Since we were without a holey paddle for me lat week, I got visited often by the ping pong paddle and Bruiser. Bruiser, we thought, had not left his usual telltale markings. Let me tell you, Honey decided to make Bruiser's use worth my while. He whalloped so hard a few times all I could do was babble about how mean he was. And then there were no marks. I can't tell you how disappointing it is to actually survive a bunbuster like Bruiser, more than once at that, and not have so much as a couple of little bruises to show for it. Turns out they were just taking their time popping up. I thought I was feeling the bruises but I couldn't see anything at all...until last night. I hope it gets more visible but it seems that the reason it wasn't visible was because its pretty much MY WHOLE ASS that is bruised. I finally got a look last night. I couldn't get a good enough look at what I thought I was seeing so I made Honey take some pictures for me, but those will come with one of the next two posts. Hopefully, I will have even better evidence of Honey and I starting to settle into a routine.

So...to my outter, if you are out there, feel free to let me know you have been visiting...and to all the lurkers that are out there...I'm proud to have my ass seen in Australia, New Zealand, a great deal in the United Kingdom, Germany, the US and Canada and even some places I have never heard of. Thank you for visiting and I hope you are enjoying.

FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-12-11T19:37:00.000-08:00

How does the old saying go? "Ask you and you shall receive." Ah yes, well it seems that is most definitely the case. I have to admit though. I am in mourning. Much as I love my bruises, it seems that no matter how long or how hard My Love smacks around on my ass, even with Bruiser, it just doesn't leave the same marks as The Late Great Holey Paddle. I miss it. You can see how nicely red my ass turns after playtime...but it just doesn't leave the bruising. I would show you a picture of that too but there isn't anything to see except my tattoos...sigh. So of course, being the ever accomodating soul that he is, Honey has left Bruiser and our homemade strap out to send me off to work by...and possibly to bruise by. We think there may be some bruising after a couple of days...it took a while today to figure out that the red circles on my butt weren't actually lingering from last night but were actually hanging around for an indefinite period of time, but its not the type that will show up on film without a professional touch and I'm just not up to the photo shoot.

Much to my surprise, My Love decided it was time for a spanking so I had to take a little break from my blog. My ass is nice and toasty as I write this, looking a bit like it does in this picture right here but there is most definitely a bruise starting now. A little blue spot popped up before I walked out of the bedroom. Yes, I did have to look before I left the room. It was only 3 quick swats, but the 3rd one hurt like hell...and much to my surprise, does not hurt now....already...what a resilient ass I must have. Other than the little bruised spot, I could probably go at least one more before work.

So back to last night...Honey decided a series of spankings to take place, all dependent on me and my reactions, the weaker my constitution, the shorter but more serious the swats. He started out with our newest toy, a ping pong paddle. He was whacked my ass something like 20 times with all of our harder toys first and then told me he was going to do 100 fairly light swats with each until I told him to stop. Once I told him to stop, he would only ten of each...but they would be really hard. There are many details I could go in to here but let us suffice it to say that I took about an additional 40 or so with the ping pong paddle...I think it was the ping pong paddle..you know what? I just don't remember all of it. I remember our wooden brush like paddle, thick little booger...hurts with a thuddy kind of pain, I remember the ping pong paddle and feeling like my ass had just played the longest ping pong game in history all by itself, I remember the plastic hairbrush popping up several times (it really is one of my favorites but its SO LOUD), and I remember Bruiser. Oh Bruiser. Honey likes Bruiser way too much. He started to give me ten hard swats with Bruiser but I only made it to 6. The very first was very hard and I flew from my perching spot for my spanking into a corner of the room holding both cheeks accusing My Honey of being a very mean man. And he was. We managed another 5 but Bruiser is so heavy...I swear sometimes it feels like my skin is going to burst on impact. It hasn't yet...like I said, resilient ass...but it sure feels like it. Before the night was over, My Love actually gave my ass 140 some odd "love taps" with Bruiser and also used varying other implements that I have already mentioned. All in all, a good night. I certainly enjoyed it. We made sporadic love throughout the session and ended with a splendid assfucking that left both of us drymouthed and panting...it was great. I look forward to the next time that we can intersperse spanking and lovemaking. I think the rest of my work week is destined to have my ass meet up with Bruiser at least once a night...but maybe that isn't such a bad thing...Lots of stress at work these days...if I can't make love out of the stress, then a good ass beating will do until I can.

Where does Time Go?????/

2006-12-09T15:38:00.000-08:00

I am just thoroughly disappointed. I have been as naughty as a fullgrown woman can be. I have had a terrible time at work. I went off and got a brand new tattoo and it has been over a week since I have been spanked. What else can a girl do?????The tattoo is cool though. It took over a week of mishaps before it finally came to fruition but I have it now. Hubby is actually being kind. He is afraid to spank me because I am still very sore from all those little needles. I have to show off the tat though. Isnt she a cutie? When she was originally all finished up, she looked just like Peter Pan had beaten her up...bad...head injury, scrapes, bruises...but she looks much healthier now.

Now to my love....I sincerely hope you decide to read this sometime soon. I am in need. Remember this fine picture? We may not be able to do this again until we are once again in a hotel room (which is planned for the near future...with many more toys) but I want to go beyond this. I love going back and looking at this picture It brings back all the memories of how my ass got such a magnificent glow to it...but now...now all the bruises are gone, the ache is gone, all signs of any previous playtime have disappeared.

Its time for renewal. I hope to "get a little" tonight. I have my fingers crossed. Often it is up to me and things have been so hectic lately, especially in my head...heres to hoping for a bright red bottom to wear to work tonight and possibly a sated (if only temporarily) libido....

Obsessions

2006-12-03T12:50:00.000-08:00

I don't guess there is any way at all to deny that I am 100 percent obsessed with being spanked. I LIKE my bruises. I'm even thinking of finding one of the best bruised ass pictures (or maybe 2) and making them part of the title. When the Late, Great Homemade paddle broke, My Honey spanked me with Bruiser, my prior greatest nemesis (oh, wait, there is no prior to that), and I got my brusies...well, no REAL bruises, just a little marking across the bottom part of my bottom.....I was SO disappointed. This provoked the "Oh My God, have I lost my mind??????" moment for me. Could be...Quite possibly, in fact. As I sit on a thoroughly painful ass from 2 days ago, I think its quite likely I have lost my mind, but the truth is, I don't care. I LIKE it! If insanity means liking it this much, getting those tingly feelings in my female parts when I think about it, getting wet when I look at the pictures, then insanity is where I want to stay.

Yes, these are some of the most recent pictures we have taken. I think Honey is liking taking the pictures. He likes to make sure the light is just right so the bruises he so lovingly placed on my ass show to the best advantage while making my butt cheeks look the way HE likes them to look, as he says, the way he sees my ass when I am bent over in front of him as opposed to the ass I see in the mirror when I look in the mirror. I think he does a really good job. I am obsessed with having my bottom spanked, I am obsessed with seeing how long and how hard I can take a spanking, I am obsessed with finding out how far My Love will go because of his own turn-ons, I am obsessed with how bruised my bottom can get, I am obsessed with how RED my bottom can get after a spanking, I am obsessed with the idea of getting a spanking that "wears my ass out until I can't sit down comfortably for a week." I wonder off and on how long this obsession willl last. I'm not "worried" about it, just curious if I won't get tired of the pain involved. Then I think back on how obsessed I was with anal sex when I first starting getting curious about it, when I first tried it, the first time I REALLY enjoyed it. That was 19 years ago...I'm still obsessed. My husband had not experienced anal sex when we first started making love and I know its not for everybody. I think he thought he was one of them back then. He didn't enjoy blowjobs either. He just "tolerated" them. He said yeah, they felt good and all but it wasn't like he could come that way. I LOVE cock. I was a late bloomer sexually and I'm sure that has a lot to do with it. When I finally discovered it, and I actually started enjoying it, I found one of my greatest joys was actually sucking cock. I say it in that particular way because it is the way that most turns on My Love and I am all about making him happy, as, I am so fortunate to say, he is me. I think it was maybe the second or third time I blew my husband that he actually came from being made love to with my mouth. He was in awe. I was in awe that he had never come that way before. I won't say it was easy. He was resistant. Does this story sound kind of backwards? It made it pretty special for me...to guide my man into sexual realms he hadn't experienced before. He thought the first time was just a build up of sexual tension, but fifteen years later, I can still make him come by making love to him with my mouth...and he still enjoys it. Oh, we have changed some of the methods but those too have often been initiated my me. I found a few videos of "forced blowjobs", girls being held by the head and having their faces fucked, really fucked. I can live without the gagging, especially when I'm the one gagging, but I love the feeling of having my man take control of the blowjob, take total control of the total sexual experience. Because of some of the medications we have to take as we get older, orgasm can sometimes be evasive. And sometimes I just want to service him, especially when his time short, when he's stressed out, when he least expects it. I will ask him to masturbate with my mouth. I can see it in his eyes when I say it. Something happens there. I swear his already erect penis gets even more erect. Anal sex was much like that. I was still mostly iffy about doing it when we first started. I had done it a couple of times. I had even enjoyed it a couple of times but I had been married to man who's sex drive was nowhere near mine (he was a drunk...he was more interested in making love to a bottle than any kind of sexual experimentation) and for him, anal sex was something he did TO me when he was angry with me and wanted to make me feel cheap or really bad about myself...and he was pretty effective. When my husband NOW and I started to seeing each other, started becoming sexual, I WANTED to have him fuck me in the ass but I was afraid to tell him. I found ways but I was afraid he wasn't interested. He hadn't done it before. Because of the few times that I had and had enjoyed it, once I was single I was very interested in finding a man who would be gentle but willing (my first anal experience had been with my very first lover who had NO CLUE how to go that route and make it an enjoyable experience for the woman...or maybe he didn't care...but I'm sure he just didn't know) to indulge me. The first time My Love came to me and told me "I want to fuck you in the ass" I almost passed out. My knees got weak. I know I got wet on the spot. We got naked. He got behind me. I felt his manhood meet up with my tiny orifice...and pretty much had a panic attack. He was much bigger than most of the men I had been with (not that there had been that many) and was King Kong compared to my ex-husband. I chickened out. After hoping and fantasizing for so long, when it came to the moment of truth, I was terrified. We "worked on it" for a couple of months after that. We slowly built up that area by starting small and easing me into being able to relax "back there." My Love was so patient...and he wasn't absolutely sure he wanted to do it but he thought he did. He used much lubrication, even the first time he put one of his big manly fingers into me. When we realized that my orgasms were increased by anal stimulation, we knew it was just a matter of time. When the final moment came where we thought I could take him, I was prepared for it to hurt. He was just so big! He lubricated me. He lubricated himself. He eased my anal passage into being ready for him with first one finger, then another. We propped me up on pillows so my ass was in the air, waiting for him, totally exposed, bared for his pleasure and I was able to totally relax to allow his entry. As I felt the head of his cock make contact with my near virgin hole, I was scared, I was anxious, and I was ready. He was so gentle. He eased the head of his cock into my anal passage and stopped, allowing my ass muscles to relax around him...and for me to regain breath. It hurt, but I wanted him to go on. On his side, having never had his cock inside an asshole before and the tip of a man's cock being so sensitive, I remember hearing from behind me "Oh My God!!!!!!!!!" When I felt I could accomodate him, I told him "more." He slowly eased the rest of his gloriously long cock into my ass until his pelvis was resting against the globes of my ass. It hurt. It sent chills up and down my spine. My skin broke out in goose bumps. There were words eminating from My Love that I had never used in quite that way before. Once he was all the way in, I thought the hard part was over. WRONG. As he drew back, leaving only the tip of his cock in my ass. It ripped the breath right out of me. My Loving Man had me by my hips and had rocketed into that world of sexual ecstacy already. He was uttering words and noises that he wasn't even aware of. I rubbed my clit and breathed and kept my eyes shut tight. As he pushed his way back in as far as he could go, the real joy of assfucking started to present itself to me. The first time was not a marathon lovemaking session, not once we introduced the newest part of our lovemaking. Both of us came in record time. But it did introduce a new aspect to our lovemaking that remains special to us to this day. And now we have discovered spanking. I think it must be the ass connection. Maybe its the pain connection but I think its more closely related to the ass connection. I LOVE to have my ass played with...in ALL ways.

When My Love is spanking my ass, whether he's spanking me hard or just giving me little love taps (surprisingly, not my favorite sensation when I'm in this mode), I know he is sharing with me his fantasies and helping me to live out mine. I can honestly say I don't think he would have initiated this on his own, but the first time he heard the yelps and cries of a hard spanking coming from my computer, he was naturally curious. When I showed him what it was I was looking at, I saw that sparkle of interest in his eyes. After he stood up from watching a particularly severe spanking, a caning if I remember correctly, he showed me what an erection he had. If women had visible erections, mine would have matched his. This is another picture of my ass after our hotel stay. Its a day or two later...two if I remember right. It seems its the second day that bruises are most visible and most frightening. There was only one really hard swat that night, the swat he warned me was going to be like a punishment spanking. I lasted exactly one swat. When he made contact with my ass, it was immediately on fire. Goosebumps erupted all over my skin (generally a sign of arousal but also a sign of pain or shock). I told him okay, thats enough...I don't think I can do that...

and then the fantasies kick in again. Damn those fantasies. My ass is going to end up completely broken if I'm not careful. I find myself fantasizing again about My Sweet Love holding me down and beating my ass beyond my own protests...way beyond. Sometimes I fantasize that he uses Bruiser. In my fantasy, I am on all fours in the middle of our bed. My Love is kneeling next to me. He wraps his arm around my waist and holds me securely. I feel like my ass is on display. He rubs each cheek with his free hand. He gentles kisses each side. He whispers back to me "I love you so much"...and I know what I am in for.

He picks up a paddle. From the way I am positioned, I can't tell what he picks up. He has taken several of my favorites and most feared and layed them nearby so he could choose from them at will. He picks up first the hairbrush. "This is just a warm up" he tells me and he proceeds to brighten my bottom with what feels like a thousand not hard, but not soft smacks from the back of the brush. The pain becomes intense but not unbearable. When he stops, he admires his work, rubbing the sting out of my bottom, feeling the warmth..and still he holds to me. As he prepares to move on, he repositions himself, he gets a firmer hold on me around my waist. This time there are no words. I feel the new ping pong paddle being rubbed back and forth, from one cheek to the other. It moves away and I brace myself mentally. Just a tease...he goes back to rubbing it across my bottom. I feel it pull away again. I think I hear it before I actually feel it. He proceeds to whack my ass five times on each side, hard and fast. I hate when he does that. Once again, my butt is on fire, but this time there is real pain involved. Toward the end I couldn't help but cry out. I don't cry but I do have trouble breathing. Once again he rubs the sting out of my bottom with his hand. It feels so good. Every so often he throws in a couple of hand swats but even when I know he is smacking hard, I can't feel the pain, only the comfort. He loosens his grip on my waist. I think to myself, oh good, now we move on to the loving. He kisses my very hot, very red butt and then takes me by the hand. Uh oh. "Come with me" he says as pulls me from the bed. There are all kinds of possibilities involved in being removed from the bed. I go, without question. He takes me to the trunk at the end of the bed. "Put your hands here" he says, as he puts one of my hands on the edge of the trunk. I do as he says. Then he repositions my legs, my back...I find myself in a slightly bent over spanking position with my feet spread just far enough apart to maintain balance...no matter what...not a good omen. Once again, he grabs me around the waist. "This is as much for you as it is for me baby" he says to me. He pats my bottom with the implement of his choice. Its Bruiser. He's never held me like this before when he used Bruiser...the angle and the size of Bruiser makes it difficult...he doesn't rub, he doesn't warn. He pats my ass just a couple of times so I know what he holds and then he starts in. The first whack makes me try to stand up, but he has hold of me. While I struggle, he whacks my bottom again. This time I put serious effort into standing up. "No honey" I plead. "Its too hard!" "Stand still" he tells me, and holds me tighter. WHACK! "NO NO NO NO NO" is all I can say, but he has me tight, making sure I can't go anywhere. I fight. I struggle. I plead...all to no avail. He keeps hitting me with that damned board harder than he has ever hit me before, harder than I ever thought he would. Ten times. Its only ten but its more painful than anything I have ever known. I don't know whether to be mad, happy, thankful that he only wanted to go ten, or what. He puts the paddle down and he hugs me.

He presses his body into mine. It hurts. I hurt. He kisses my neck, my back. He rubs my bottom. Everything about it hurts...but wait...is that a familiar tingle of arousal I'm feeling? He whispers sweet nothings in my ear, telling me what a good girl I was for taking those hard swats, how tough I am for taking such a hard spanking...and I can feel how happy he is pressing up against my butt. Oh yes, very happy.

This is the fantasy. I like to keep the fantasy of the more severe spankings in the fantasy world. Lets face it, they hurt. But silly me...I told my husband about this pretty erotic fantasy this past weekend. It never occurred to me we might actually end up DOING the fantasy. I like to THINK about severe spanking. I might like to do SOME severe spanking but I sure hadn't planned on it this weekend...and especially after we had been spanking on my ass for well over an hour (or was it two) by then. Somehow, someway, I found myself at the end of the bed, bent over the trunk (not holding it) and with Bruiser in my Loving Man's Hand. He didn't hold me by the waist. I gave in to it. Ten of the hardest swats I have ever experienced in my life by Bruiser. What you see in the above picture is just a few hours after the fact. I thought I might die. I never knew my ass could hurt so much. Did it turn on my Loving Man? Oh yes it did. He really did whisper all those sweet little things in my ear.

I did find once the blood went from my face to my pelvis that I was unbelievably turned on. Having My Love's pelvis rub against my painful ass is truly one of the most erotic feelings in the world. Do I want to have my ass spanked that hard again? NO! Yeeeeeeeeessssssssssssssssssss....maybe? I don't know. It hurt. It hurt so much. Oh yes, My Love does not believe in spanking over clothes. He thinks it defeats the purpose. I love when he pulls my panties down for a spanking. But like we did the other night? I'm still waiting for the rest of the bruising to occur. It has been just about 36 hours now. I can almost sit without pain. Almost. There is this rather attractive greenish blue splotch starting that I am curious about ...is it going to turn into a real bruise or will it go away...only time will tell. To be honest, these pictures do not do justice to just exactly how my ass looks today. It almost looks like brush strokes on my left side...or maybe a rash...or maybe a combination of the two. The right side, the side that always bruises...well, its looking bruised.

But you know what? I think I might need a little table tennis tonight.... :)

One Night in a Heaven aka hotel

2006-12-01T16:26:00.000-08:00

Finally, after weeks and weeks of trying and not succeeding, grown kids coming and going, unbelievable stresses at work, bullshit so deep we are drowning, we FINALLY got ourselves a room here in town. We ran away from the kids, ran away from life as it were, and decided to recoup, just the two of us, to a solitary retreat where we could relax, we could make noise, we could do whatever we wanted in totall nakedness, if thats what we decided. We packed up a few of our favorite toys and went to check in. For the first time ever, they asked what our purpose was. Not just personal or business. They wanted more. For just a second I thought we were in a time warp. I have NEVER been asked that question before...anyway, I tgave an honest answer because I am just that way. I told the little clerk girl "We are escaping from children" The clerk looked at us funny for just a second or two and thn made up something. My husband was less than impressed...in fact, he was kind of pissed off because he was convinced that they didn't believe we were married. It was really very cute. Anyway, we got checked in and here is me feeling like Scarlett O'Hara after Rhett takes her whether she wants to be taken or not...and obviously she was quite happy about it. As I recall, he also threatened to spank her shortly thereafter. If he had, they probably wouldn't have had nearly as much trouble as they did.

Let me introduce to you to my toys. These are my current favorites although they change constantly. On the far left side is a hairbrush. I saw these two different girls get their asses beat in kinds of red on Girls Boarding School. This has been one of my fantasies about going to hotel room ever since...but you gotta be able to kick and scream a little if thats going to happen. Its a singy little bugger and turns your ass red really fast, but my goodness is it loud. This hairbrush was a very good buy. Nex to their hairbrush is the late favorite, homemade paddle with holes that was recently murdered across my ass. I loved that paddle. Many firsts in that paddle. And since its demise, I have become even more convinced that that particular Daddy's helper was the source of the bruising I had been experiencing. I have had my ass beaten almost eery day this week because of work problems (a whole different story) and there are no bruises like the late, great homemade paddle. It will be missed. Next to the late, great is the very first paddle I ever bought. It is a hairbrush paddle. It mis made of this beautiful redwood, is pretty thick and is shaped like a hairbrush. It used to also be my very favorite but times change. And last but not least is the homemade strap my Baby Doll made for me. What can I say about this little charm. It has all the benefits of a belt but feels like you are welted and marked by silk. Its so soft yet fully beltlike...there is no way really to describe it but its nice.

The night had so much potential, I think both of us were afraid we would be let down. We dined at a nearby restaurant, came back to the room and rested for a bit and then we began to play. I think perhaps one of the most difficult decisions. The room had all the accomodations we were looking for: a wonderful bed, lots and lots of pillows, a bench at the foot of the bed that had possibilities limited only by ones imagination, a chair and a desk. I had hopes and plans for each and every one of them...and each and everyone of them because useful to us before the night was over...except the desk. We ran out of steam by then,

We started out playtime with both of us naked and me laying across my loves lap on the bed. What a wonderful beginning to an even lovelier evening. The late wooden paddle and my ass met several times, along with my love's hand, the hair brush and the strap. After much pinking of my bottom, when I needed a little break, my love would play with me. And oh how he knows just how to play. Between the spanking and the playing, I remember somehow ending up on all 4's in front of him. I asked him to masturbate while spanking me. This is one of those things that really really turns me on. My Love, always eager to please, was happy to oblige, It wasn't long before both of us were reaching the point of no return. Once he entered me, the lovemaking was hot, passionate, hard, loud...he tried to pull out to prolong the act, but I grabbed him by his arm and begged him to come. His body rubbing against my freshly spanked ass was just too much and I needed him to finish. We both had mind-blowing orgasms...but that was just the beginning.

This is how my ass looked after the first go round. I discovered that I like being able to really see what my bottom looks like when we have finished playing...and for several days thereafter. What I had told my Love Man before we went to the room was that I wanted my ass to bruised like it had never been bruised before. Make the cost of the room worthwhile. This isn't bad. Nice pinkish tones...I think some of the bruising was from another time but I am always amazed at how quickly everything quits hurting.

Round 2 was way more active in the spanking area.

We started that round off on the bench. It was sweet. It was the first time we got to come close to a traditional OTK spanking. I can understand all the hype. It still wasn't exactly the way I see it in my mind. If you have ever seen Girls Boarding School videos, WOW! They do OTK like I have never seen before and it really really turns me on to watch. He has down pretty good. The kicking spankees legs get hooked under the spankers legs, he grabs hold of the waist and he wails away on a bottom like there is no tomorrow. Hehehehehehe...just what I wanted...and as much as I could handle it, it is exactly what my Love gave me. My Baby Doll beat my ass good and proper the second time around. Oh, he still played with me in between, he gave my bottom massages when he knew I had reached my pain tolerance until I was ready to go more. We spent hours spanking and play, spanking and playing, spanking and playing. Toward the end, as I was bent over a chair take swats from the now deceased holey paddle, My Baby Doll told me he was going to give me a punishment style spanking. OH MY GOD...I lasted out exactly one swat. He had to lighten up much after that....but I do foresee more in the future. Being the big sissy I am, and since we don't do punishment spanking for real, it is something I will have to build up to....but I'm certainly happy to try...and the occasional ungodly hard swat can be quite...sensual...once I take my hands off my ass.

This is an example of what that sweet, innocent looking hairbrush can do to a womans buttocks. Oh sure, it wasn't JUST the hairbrush, but I assure you the hairbrush and my late, great paddle had much to do wth my looking like this...and this is after lovemaking. I wanted pictures for my sake. I think my bottom is definitely approaching the girls bottoms when they finish with them at Girls Boarding School. If you have never seen one of the their videos, they are worth catching a glimpse of. They seriouslly beat some ass and they use all my favorite implements. I still kind of cringe when I look at this picture. We took some others too and I used the picture of a couple of days after this in the R.I.P post to my paddle. You can rest assured this one hurt as much as it looks like it did, and I loved pretty much pretty much every second of it.

Tonight, we have yet another implement to try out. I have been wanting a table tennis paddle for a while now. My always willing to please love of my life bought me one today. We tested it out earlier today. Oooooooooooo...its not a perfect replacement for the late, great paddle but I think its going to be quite the hot item in our bedroom for a while.

Oh, and I was right about Bruiser. Bruiser and my ass had meetings almost everyday this week. Man that thing hurts. The most I have been able to handle without a pretty sizeable break in between is 4 swats and I wasn't happy about that at all. I think the new paddles may alleviate some of Bruisers use (although it always seems to find its way out of the drawer and onto my ass during our weekend sessions). Thats okay. If My Honey likes using it that much, I can learn to grit my teeth and bare it....literally.

I'm out of here for now. Got that new toy that has been waiting too long already!

R.I.P. First Homemade Paddle

2006-11-27T06:53:00.000-08:00

Well, this is a first for us. I have been having a very very stressful time at work. Stress translate into sexual energy for me and I have felt the need to be spanked lately...a LOT. I'm just now getting brave enough to ask a little more often. I asked a few days ago when we went to the hotel room. That was great. I asked last night before I went to work. Ouchy. But it was good. I asked again this morning. I am trying to learn to be tough so when he said he was going to give me 5 swats with the homemade holey paddle, I didn't argue it. It was painful but it was good. He liked the nice warmth and red glow he had created. But then he decided it wasn't quite enough. He thought I needed a couple more swats on each side. Who was I to argue? I asked for it...the rest of it is up to him. He swatted my left side 2 more times. I clenched up but I survived it. Then he gave me two more swats on the right side. I'm pretty sure he had more swatting in mind but suddenly I hear "Oh my God!" coming from behind me. I didn't know what to think, having never heard that particular tone before and especially when he has one hand on my shoulder to hold me down (which usually means I'm going to be hurting) and the other hand is wailing away on my ass. I stood up to look. Lo! and Behold! He broke the paddle on my ass! This is the first time that this happened to us. I think it scared hubby just a little. I was kind of excited. But now... we have to get another paddle with holes in hit. This, I have a feeling, means that Bruiser and I are going to be getting to know each other very well between now and then. My Honey sure loves Bruiser. I'm getting used to it. I know what to expect most of the time. I have to admit, when my love drags out Bruiser, I get a great sense of dread. As I bend over, usually over the trunk in our bedroom, I am mostly okay...apprehensive but okay...Once he places the palm of his hand on my back, I get really nervous. This always means the swats are going to be hard. I'm such a wimp and such a dichotomy. On the one hand, I always beg him to stop, at the very least give me a little break every 3 swats or so before going on,which he kindly allows me. On the other hand, I WANT that God awful pain that makes me want to leap out of my skin. Even when I'm pouting and telling him its too much, just those little breaks for him to massage my ass until the overwhelming sting eases just a little is usually enough and then I want more. And more...and more...good thing we are still experimenting. My heart is broken over that one. But I'm awfully proud of it too. You will see its not a deadly paddle, not like Bruiser, but it was certainly a formidible one and I'm going to miss it much...I have begun to look for possible replacements that my Love can alter to my (and his) satisfaction. See what a fine job my little buddy, my sweet gift from my husband did? And why is my right cheek bruises so much better than my left? Honey has even tried concentrating on my the left side (which I wasn't very happy about) to try to even out the bruising but it just doesn't work that way. Anyway, like I said earlier, this probably means Bruiser is going to be brought out even more often and the marks aren't nearly as varied and Bruiser hurts a lot more. Oh well, just a really good excuse to buy a new spanker toy!

A picture tells a thousand words part 2

2006-11-25T15:01:00.000-08:00

Okay...so it took me a while but I finally fiqured out what the problem was. As you can see, we had a VERY nice time. After my honey read the blog where I said he was really easy on me but I didn't really want him to be, I was pretty much afraid to let him get ahold of my butt again. He kept saying "You LAUGHED at me...I can't believe you LAUGHED at me." I assured him that I wasn't laughing AT him, just making an observation. Being the big chicken that I am before I let him do anything to me at all, I made him promise not to hurt me...which of course he couldn't do because what would be the point if there was no pain involved? I gave in and said "Okay...well, no more so than usual...."

Being the loving man that he is, he agreed...mostly. As you can see, it wasn't all that bad. We were actually trying to figure out where some of the bruising comes from. Believe it or not, it looks way worse than it was...or maybe I just don't feel it so much during the course of "things". Anyway, it was blast and the after effects were way better. I found myself clinging to my husband in ways than I haven't in quite some time. It was amazing when we moved from the spanking to the loving...actually, I guess its all loving in the way we do it but this was just so much better than usual.

This is my favorite of the pictures. It is the one that most accurately depicts my butt in color, shape and bruising...at least in my mind. Some of the bruises I have found absolutely baffling. I can't imagine where they came from. I still don't necessarily understand the psychology of why I like having my ass beaten by husband, particularly by different rather hard instruments, but for now at least I've decided I'm not going to worry about why and just indulge in the favorable sensations. I do like it. It hurts like a sonofabitch, and I get mad at him sometimes for going farther than I want him to but really, I love every bit of it. Especially afterwards. I pout, I huff, I act all bent of shape...and then he goes down on me...

And then when he makes love to me...well, he can beat my ass all he wants if we keep having orgasms like that.

Just as a little preview....this past weekend, enough was enough. We stole away finally to a hotel room, which has been really scary to me because my loving man knows that I have wanted to be somewhere that I can make much pain noise and him still keep smacking...total loss of control on my part. In fact, I told him I wanted both my ass cheeks to be more bruised than they have ever been by the time we left the hotel...or at least the potential of the worst bruising ever....and this weekend, we got the room....

Until the next post...

Now if we can just get rid of the kids more often.....