Monday, February 05, 2007

Just an observation or two

Since I surf the internet a LOT looking for newer and better examples of my favorite kinks (and boy are there some good ones out there...one of these days I'll have to "review" them invidividually), I have made some observations. Its seems that a great deal of spankos on the net are in their 40 and above or in their 20's. I haven't quite figured this phenomenon (or is it phenomena...I have never figured out which is which). Why would the "other" spankers be a whole generation behind us? Do you think we older couples genetically passed this kink on to our children? I don't remember exactly which couple it is right off hand that was talking about finding out their adult daughter was also a spanko, I think because it shocked me SO, made me uncomfortable that after I read the ENTIRE story and a few more, I had to step away from it from a moments. Just so no one gets the wrong idea, it wasn't the parents finding out their daughter was a spanko that made me uncomfortable. I actually thought "...how cool is THAT that their DAUGHTER would share that information with her parents. Sons are sons...sons tend toward kink unabashedly but DAUGHTERS...that is a whole different ballgame). What made me uncomfortable was thinking about MY sons spanking their girlfriends...that we might have genetically passed this trait down to them. I know they share MY other sexual interests (or so one would think since I have been retrieving my porn collection periodically since the early stages of puberty) and I know for a fact that the little perv's used to get quite the kick out of listening at the bedroom door...so much so that I had to quit making noises all together, which is really tough when you are really in the moment and of course, therefore, makes spanking while I know ANY of the kids are in the house a less than perfect situation...although I LOVE going to a hotel room...my Honey never gets to spank me as much, as hard or as thoroughly at home as he does when he get a room....sigh...if only....I digress...
The idea that my sons might spank their girls is just not a comfortable one for me. They have been taught respect. They have been taught how to treat a female like a lady. They have been taught the difference between consensual and nonconsensual, so I'm not worried about them being violent toward their girls. I just don't like to think about those things I gave birth to doing anything of a sexual nature, especially the kinky kind.
And quite frankly, I'm jealous. These 20something year old girls are discovering the joys of things it took me half my life to figure out. What kind of shortcuts did they take? My Honey and I have been married for a long time, especially by todays standards but we just recently took up the spanking kink. Just think of how many years we could have been doing this? It was the same with anal sex. The first time I did it, I didn't do it...it was done to me....badly...zero fun. A few years later I tried it again in a much more "user friendly", consensual way...I was awestruck...but I was married to a different man than I am now and although he seemed to enjoy it enough when he was doing it, he wouldn't do it often and told me there was something wrong with me for enjoying it. He was all fucked up in the head. The man I'm married to now, the true Love of My Life had never had anal sex before me and we had to work it (he's a lot bigger than my ex-husband was/is) but OMG, once we did it successfully...well, lets just say it has been an integral part of our lives ever since...and I used to think, "God...I have been missing out on this ALL THIS TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Why is it that when you are the horniest, feeling the most submissive, want to "play" or sometimes punish (or be punished) those are the times you can't get all the kids out of the house at once? Why is it that when you could care less who is around, when your libido is down, when you might actually NEED them around, the kids are NEVER around? Or in our case, as long as I am working at night, the kids are home. Let Honey and I be home together and we are guaranteed that SOMEONE will be home with us.

Why do I feel most horny and need spanking the most when Honey is at work (good for me that he can stop by home now and then, and given the time to do so, is always happy to oblige).

I was reading Journey to the Darkside, the Padme and Anakin story. Oh don't I wish I was Padme this past weekend. Toy from A Married Man's Fucktoy has no idea (yet) that she has inspired Honey and I to order our own Lexan cane...aluminum handled, of course. Quite frankly, I'm not really looking forward to that one quite as much as Honey is, but....ummmmm....it does give me little tingles thinking about it. And that anal hook? Well, I don't know that is something is I want to use regularly or anything, but maybe just once....? Bonnie (from My Bottom Smarts) and Randy's spanking stories (how appropriate is Randy's name?) have inspired more than a few of my own butt blisterings...that's one tough lady is all I can say. I love reading the stories. I even fantasize that I am Bonnie and Honey is Randy. I love finding new blogs that will turn me on and give me ideas...and more than anything else, I love hearing from the blog writers that I most enjoy...knowing they are reading my blog...it's quite a rush.

Those are my observations for the night. Honey's back still isn't right and we tiffed today. He is mad at me for being mad at him. He does these things when he is driving that he KNOWS scare me. He knows that I am downright about phobic about car accidents (I had a pretty good many years ago but have never quite been able to shake the fear factor that it instilled in me) and he wants to play stupid games in the car...on the highway. It isn't like he doesn't drive all over the road as it is...and then he gets mad at me because I don't think its funny, I don't find amusing and I don't trust him to drive half the time...and often I NEED him to drive...like today. For someone who is usually so intuitive about my feelings, this is one of those areas that he is either completely ignorant of or just doesn't care. It absolutely terrifies me when he drives stupid. It absolutely terrifies me when he plays games in the car. I can only compare to it to the fear I feel when I am over my head in water, since I am not much of swimmer. It makes my heart hurt. It makes me feel sick. There is a complete physical reaction that occurs in me that I am powerless to control...and he completely pretends doesn't exist. So when he started playing around in the car today, I told him I didn't think it was funny. I told him he was pissing me off. I gave him fair warning and he just ignored me...and when I told him the rest of the trip back home (we had had to go out of town on some business) would be spent in silence, he got mad at me. We haven't really spoken since. He even left the house without telling me he was going, which he and I just don't do. He is supposed to tell me he's leaving, kiss me goodbye and say I love you. Its just a standard thing, angry or not. Its respectful and...well...I'm superstitious and I firmly believe that you never know when you separate from somebody when that might be the very last time you ever see them so you don't do stupid shit like withhold the I love you's just because you are mad. You can be mad at your loved one and still love them. So...

Now I think I'm going to go to bed since I have potentially shared my thoughts and cleansed my soul...now if only hubby's back would get better, maybe we could do some making up.

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3 Comments:

Blogger Bonnie said...

Fox,

Wow, that's a lot of stuff.

First off, I do read your blog and I think you do a wonderful job.

Secondly, don't bother being Randy and me. You two have plenty of fun all on your own! ...And yes, my posterior is pretty tough!

As for the missing generation, I believe you kind of answered your own question. Those good 30-something folks are every bit as interested as we are, but they have soccer practice and dance lessons and recitals and parent-teacher conferences and sleep-overs and doctor visits and camp and so forth.

The 20-somethings are getting there and forty-somethings are getting away from there. We finally have the time, energy, and privacy to play.

I think I would be mildly surprised if I learned our daughter was a spanko, but it wouldn't bother me as long as she had a loving partner.

BTW, we discovered recreational spanking while in our early twenties. It was great, but things were quite different then. There was no community, at least as far as I knew. We felt as though we were the only people in the world who knew about this kink. I realize that seems naive today, but we really didn't know.

As for the anal sex, my reaction depends a lot upon my mood. It takes some preparation for Randy to get me into the right frame of mind (swatting my bottom often helps in this regard).

Thanks for a thoughtful and thought-provoking post!

Hugs,
Bonnie

3:23 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi,
I can totally relate to many things you wrote.
If I had a daughter who was a spanko it would not bother me in the least bit since I would understand the sensations she probably would be deriving from the experiences.
The car play, it's weird that you mention such a thing because I grew up with that. Somehow I mentally decided not to let it bug me too much because if we were to get in an accident we would all get hurt not just me. I guess that made me feel somewhat safe. I did not have any control over it so I never gave much of a fuss about it. I would just let it happen and usually it would end quickly.
Everyone reacts differently my ma used to have a cow and I'll tell you it only made my dad purposely drive worse for longer periods of time.

I'm sure that is not what you meant but I wanted to mention it.

5:35 AM  
Blogger foxthatsspanked said...

Anon: No, thats pretty much what I meant...
I would love to calm down about the car thing. It makes me nuts to feel that way. I really totally trust his driving. It just still puts me into an emotional panic. I know its insane. I know he isn't going to wreck, not by any fault of his anyway...but the feelings I experience are akin to a panic attack. I have told him that many many times. It is not something I can control and I just can't figure out why one would want to spoil a perfectly wonderful day to do something that you KNOW makes partner physically ill...and it does. The feelings it provokes in my heart and my stomach are physical reactions. I know its psychological. I know its a reaction to a bad experience. I cannot stop it from happening and I think its unfair and extremely thoughtless to prey upon it...EVER.

Bonnie: You and Randy are my heros. LOL...Rolemodels? I love reading your blog, I love reading about your experiences and I love the way you make us who are relatively new to the scene feel like we aren't such freaks afterall.

7:28 AM  

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