What I Got for Christmas and my hopes for the New Year

The things that I wanted for Christmas this year were much like most years with just a few exceptions. Materially, I have everything I could possibly want. I have a beautiful home, I have food on my table, I have great kids, I have more clothes and shoes than any woman should have (which reminds me, its time to go through my stuff and give to the less fortunate, which I try to do every year, the Salvation Army being my personal favorite because at least in MY hometown, Goodwill charges too much for truly poor people to afford), I have stuff, you know all those goodies that a girl just can't live without but has no room for....I have a phenomenal husband (okay, maybe that isn't really a material thing but he's a touchable thing, and oh so touchable, so I'll include him). I have a good job (depending on your perspective...I have a very good paying job that I do actually love...if we could just take politics out of it...that and the boss that I have zero respect for...but we'll get to that later). So what could I ask for for Christmas?

Anything Tinkerbell, because I really am Tinkerbell...I'm just bigger now because I kept getting stepped on.

Anything Star Wars...just because I'm a Star Wars FREAK...I am particularly fond of, and this is the general order of my fandom:

1. R2-D2

2. Yoda

This may actually be a tie for a first because I really like both

3. Obi-Wan (Ewan MacGregor in particular although I like both)

4. Qui-gon Jinn (Liam Neesom is just SO do-able)

5. Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vadar (love/hate him- the young actor looks too much like my ex-husband )

6. Padme'

7. Chewbacca

8. Everyone else Star Wars...EVERYONE

Several spanking toys and spanking websites that I have had my eye on.

A really good hard Christmas spanking (imagine that...isn't that what I usually wish for?)

Well, I got all kinds of cool Tink stuff. I got 5 Tink baby tee's, a pair of Think slipper socks, a Tink lightweight hoodie. On the polar opposite, I got a Boondocks Saints (my heros) hoodie, a Boondock Saints baby tee and matching g-string and I got my Loving Man his own Boondocks T-shirt, so now he has two (his superhero's too).

I got the MOST awesome R2-D2 ever...totally interactive. He is WAY cool!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As I was putting together my Christmas presents for others this year, I came across a cute little bath set that I had intended to give to someone...but just HAD to keep. Before I made the decision, I actually took it apart to try it out. It included a dogleg bathbrush that gave me visions of Bonnie from My Bottom Smarts. I kept looking at that brush while I was wrapping and I finally just couldn't take it anymore. It helped too, that the particular individual that I had intended that present for is someone I don't particularly care for at work (I don't seriously dislike this person, this person is just kind of annoying) so the idea of handing off a present that this person might use in their bath after it had been secretly used to beat my ass in a most pleasureable way...well, it was amusing. As it turns out, we didn't just try it out once, we tried it out several times and then I decided I HAD to have it. It hurts like the dickens but it is such a sweet hurt...and its kind of on quiet side (as long as I bury my head in the pillows and don't groan and grunt and huff and puff too loudly). We now have a dogleg brush to add to our arsenal. I have to tell you, the drawer that we keep our "toys" in is flowing over these days. I think we are going to have to find a new drawer or expand to TWO toy drawers. I love the toys though.

As far as spanking toys, boy have I been a bad bad girl about buying this year. I got a carpet beater. I was SO disappointed! Tell me....why do they wince when getting the carpet beater across the ass. Other than the little shock that happens everytime something makes contact with my bare ass, it was just almost pointless. Not so bad for a really bruised butt when the hubby just HAS to smack around on your ass....but as far as reaching that pain high or whatever it is that I have to get to when I'm in that frame of mind...it surely isn't happening with that...but its cute!

When it comes to wishes for Christmas that don't include toys, I wish that my ass was beat this good again. Getting to this point is difficult, I admit it. I can be quite the big baby for a girl who likes to have her man whack around on her ass. I pout, I whine, I cry (okay, not really cry but I whine a LOT). Especially where Bruiser is concerned but really I like the afterburn." I don't know how to describe it and I surely don't know how to explain. If My Love were to hold me down and beat my ass like I want it done, I would be angry and we would probably never play again. I would burn all the toys and everytime My Love came near me I would be terrified. Not so good for playtime. When I am in "that mood", it seems I become completely submissive. I don't tense up after the first swat or two. I don't feel the pain as intensely as when I am NOT in the mood or in that specific submissive frame of mind. These are the times that I want to truly have my ass abused. I say abused because it is the only term I can think of to describe the "sensation" I am looking for. I don't want to be in writhing, screaming and hollering uncontrollable pain but I most definitely am looking for something more than just a few little love taps.

Last night was a prime example. I laid across My Loves lap. I was completely relaxed and ready for whatever he wanted to do..and quite possibly more than he wanted to do. I am sitting on a slightly bruised feeling bum today but I would have been perfectly happy to have him make me sit on a VERY bruised bum today. I still don't have it out of my system, as a matter of fact. I know I thought to myself for the last few days that I thought I needed to be spanked at LEAST hard enough to break the newest, thin holey paddle...and we most certainly did that. Its funny when it happens. My Love didn't seem quite as shocked or freaked out about this time. He did, in fact, show it to me and congradulated me for breaking another one (like I'm the one swinging it). I was a tad disappointed. I don't think the next biggest size will break very soon but you never can tell. I have been in a particularly masochistic, submissive frame of mind since trouble started at work. If we had no kids at home, we would have no trouble taking care of my needs, but all of my favorite implements are so noisy, I am not comfortable having my needs taken care of when they are here and trying to arrange for them NOT to be here takes the mood away completely.

This is our current arsenal..Actually, I think we have added a couple of things since this picture was taken a couple of weeks ago. Starting from the right side, we have the riding crop. I don't much care for the riding crop but much to my surprise, I have discovered that there is a certain sensuality of laying crosswise on the bed with my head hanging off the side. My Love fucks my mouth, at his own pace, using my mouth and my throat to masturbate with. This position offers the deepest and most comfortable position to deep-throat in a most submissive way while leaving all a girls "naughty bits" available for his viewing, groping and playing pleasure. Once upon a time, he decided he wanted to flog my most intimate female parts while I masturbated and gave him head...and it was FANTASTIC! Obviously, this is one of those things that takes a light touch (at least for me) to be pleasurable, but pleasurable it was and pleasurable it has been when we have done it since.

To the right of the riding crop is Bruiser. He doesn't look nearly as evil in this picture as he really is. Bruiser is about an inch thick (I think its actually 7/8 inch but who's counting). I can't tell you how long Bruiser but just think Animal House. It is a real frat paddle and it hurts like hell when swung with meaning. So much so, in fact, that I actually find myself concerned about the bones in the butt. I'm probably just being paranoid but I can't help it. That and the skin feels like its going to burst when swung in earnest. I don't like Bruiser at all, but I find sometimes there is no replacement for it either.

The little hairbrush looking paddle is a deceptive looking little thing. It is about 1/4 inch thick and hits with a thud that will rattle your teeth. That little paddle and my bottom were reintroduced last night...because it was just one of those nights. I don't generally like it much anymore (I loved it when I first got it). This is one of our very first spanking toys ever bought. It has particualr sentimental value. Its no wonder I like a harder spanking than some...I started out with harder implements.

The two spoons are stingy as can be! These two laying opposite each other are my lightest and my heaviest...side by side. There is a woman I work with who has guardianship of her retarded niece. She will threaten the niece with a wooden spoon when she is being naughty. Two thoughts always run simultaneously through my head when she tells these stories. #1: She is freak that has never been "fleshed out." With just a little direction from the right man...or maybe even woman, she could be quite the successful dominatrix....although she could probably do with some time over a particularly firm tops knee to let out the sexual beast so deeply suppressed in her (and no, she can't borrow mine...I don't care how good friends we are) and 2: I have to suppress the giggle that begins to bubble up from my stomach because while she is talking about how much a woooden spoon hurts and what a great tool it is for disciplinary reasons, all I can think about it is the erotic sting and OBVIOUS markings that are made on my ass by wooden spoons...AND WE HAVE 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sometimes nothing else will work to achieve that achy, burny feeling better than a wooden spoon.

Beside the wooden spoons is one of my newest paddles. It is tiny but it packs quite a punch. It is oak and so much heavier on the ass than it looks like it would be. My Love thought that one was a good idea last night as well. If you haven't guessed, the theme last night was hard and thuddy...I can't believe I haven't gotten into any details about it yet but we played for about 2 hours...and my ass is sore, but not nearly as sore as I had hoped. I am hoping to remedy that problem throughout the week. I am hoping to bring in the New Year with a very bruised, very sore ass.

Next to the paddle is the homemade strap My Love made for me. I like that one. It isn't particularly severe feeling no matter how hard it swings it...and He has tried to swing it hard for me. It is nice little break when we are having a really severe session. Lets just say it gives my tushy a little break while still keeping it warm and rosy. I LOVE that strap. It feels like a belt, makes me feel very much like a little girl and is as soft as it is stingy.

Moving right along, we have another wooden spoon, this one in the mid-range...not as thuddy as the really big long one and not as gentle as the light one. Just right for Momma Bear, I guess. Next to it is a smaller wooden hairbrush that hurts a lot...not an amateurs weapon and not one I would recommend starting out with...it was quite a shock when we got it home and tried it out. Save this little brush for relatively low noise, maximum pain play.

Beside the spoon and brush is another of my new paddles. It came as a set with the paddle on the other side of the homemade strap. Much heavier than it looks, very thuddy and used to my great pleasure last night upon my very needy ass. I was liking it for the very first time since we got it. My Love used it on both ass-cheeks at once. It caused a pained noise to escape my lungs and lips and I very much enjoyed it. I think it might be a keeper after all.

Ah...we come to the ping pong paddle, AKA a table tennis paddle. This one came in a set and I suspect that one day it will break, so the second will be most useful at that time.I LOVE the ping pong paddle...I do NOT love the noise associated with it. Actually, that isn't entirely true. I do like the noise but its not good for kids in the house. It is very loud, very light, very stingy. My Love can lay some pretty hard swats on my ass with this paddle and keep on going. It will make me dance around some because it is definitely stingy but I like this one. This is one of my consistent favorites and on those nights that I want a sting that will carry with me for a while, this is the perfect tool. It brightens up the ass for My Honey's visual pleasure, causes a great deal of heat to be radiated and really, the pain is most tolerable. I think we will have to have one of these around for good.

The square hairbrush is another of my favorites for all the same reasons as the ping pong paddle. Nice rosy cheeks, stingy ass, minimal pain. Love, love, love these two. I saw some videos from Girls Boarding School where both were used and just HAD to try them out. That man looks like he really gives it to the girls hard and their asses turn all shades of red. I now know exactly what they were feeling and can say I have at least been close to being paddled as much as hard. I like it. Keepers, both of them, good for the beginner and the experienced spanker and spankee.

The next two paddles are also special paddles. My Love made them both for me. One is skinny and one is about 1/2 thick...maybe only a quarter. They are both very light hitters obviously the really skinny one being the lightest touch. We were playing with them last night when the skinny one broke. I was disappointed but it was too light a hitter anyway. I like the heavier one better. My Love can use it on just cheek at a time or both cheeks depending on his mood. I now have 2 late great holey paddles and can say that My Love has broken implements across my ass. We have decided that he isn't going to make any holey paddles that skinny again because they just can't hold up under the strain. He likes to hit hard and I like to be hit hard (sometimes) and we need something that can hold up to our needs. We still haven't found anything that leaves bruises like the first late great paddle but we are still looking.

It seems I made an error. The end implement is the homemade strap I mentioned earlier. The implement I thought was the homemade strap is actually a long skinny paddle that I think they refer to as a shoehorn paddle. I don't like it. We don't use it often. About the only time we do use it is when we are having one of those nights that we decide to try every implement we have on my ass. I find nothing enjoyable about it and it doesn't even leave nice marks.

Across the top of all the other spanking tools are our two canes and the leather heart paddle. The leather heart paddle is just a joke. Great for those that THINK they want to play but don't want to experience any pain while engaging in the sado-masochistic, dominant/submissive scene. Its just a toy. The canes....well, canes are canes. The school cane is quiet, mostly, but YEOWCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Not too bad with the first swing, most of the time but 2 or 3 into it and you know why it was used as a disciplinary instrument. Hubby really likes the cane. He likes the "stripes" it leaves...and I love him so I grit my teeth and let the rattan fly. Occasionally, even I want that feel but usually its just for his benefit. The little cane, I think it was advertised as a "pocket cane" or something like that...with enough repeated use, and really really hard, there is a little cane'ish feeling, but its mostly just a toy...or maybe its a nice break. I'll take it over the real cane anyday. I have watched some videos where some poor young girl is bent over and usually a female is wailing away on her ass (and sometimes thighs) with a cane and all I can think of is "YEOWCH...how can she just stand there??????????????????" Brave, tough young girls. I am envious.

Normally, I am one of those "kickers." As the pain increases, I start kicking, I start trying to cover my assaulted areas with my hands...you know, all those things little girls do...run around in circles, say no no no no no no. It just so happens that on Christmas, as I was serving out an undeserved day of suspension at work (different story all together), there was no kicking, there was no guarding my ass. I was completely relaxed. I was completely submissive. I was completely ready for any kind of abuse My Love wanted to inflict upon my bottom...I welcomed it...I craved it. I think he enjoyed the total submission too. I so seldom can completely give myself up without a fight, without some complaint. I layed across My Loves lap and I left up to him what he would spank me with, how hard he would spank me, how long he would spank me. Because of my recent frame of mind, I have needed My Love's heavy hand to help me relieve my stress and my agression as well as his loving support. The spanking is a form of support, I suppose and I don't really think My Love knows just how much he really does for me. He knows it helps but I think he sees it as a playful kind of therapy. Its not. It often keeps me from blowing up at work, especially when I have to deal with stupidity of the most unimaginable nature. I like to spanked not just for pleasure, which it definitely is but for much more emotional reasons. I don't have to understand them and neither does MyLove. The mere fact that we are both aware they exist is enough...at least for now. Finding a way to let My Love know when I need something of the more intense type, that is a trick we are still working on. I can't just bring myself ot hand him an implement and tell him "beat my ass as hard as you can." I have tried saying it when we are together, but I can't say it loud enough most often for him to hear me and its hard enough to make myself once...I cannot usually repeat myself...and it takes too me too much out of the space to say it. So I must find another way.

As I write this, we have made a quick trip once to the bedroom for him to treat me to the ping pong paddle. My subspace is not what it was yesterday but it is still there. He has already dragged out Bruiser and informed me that I will be visited by it before work tonight. I'm not thrilled...or am I? I won't like it while its being used, but I will like it later tonight when I'm feeling the effects...besides we have SO much spanking to do by the first if my ass is really going to be bruised to my satisfaction for the New Year!