So Much To Write

My writing is still obviously sporadic at best. Its not that I am so busy now, although I do manage to find things to do to take up my time. I want to try to do a quick catch up and see where the writing leads.



I can't write anything about Honey's and my exploits lately because there really haven't been any. Physically, it seems our bodies are not cooperating with us. Just as mine starts to settle and I'm finally figuring out my limitations, my poor Honey started having some serious problems. Nothing fatal or anything like that, but painful. Our sex life has become so uneventful that I feared Honey was no longer attracted to me and that he had found someone else that he was attracted to. It caused me some serious emotional pangs that I didn't share for quite a while and when I finally did, I didn't do it well. Then Honey decided to open up the proverbial gate, which was really a good thing because he didn't realize that the times I made cracks about a girlfriend that I was serious. My libido is almost as desirous as ever, but its not needy. If anything were ever to happen to Honey that he was no longer able to "perform" that particular marital obligation in the traditional sense, I could live with that. I would miss him in that way but I have no doubt that he would allow me my sexual gratification (also known as masturbation) with his assistance. I love his big, hard cock filling my orifices and there is absolutely no replacement for it, but its the intimacy that is most important to me. If I had to choose between cuddling and fucking, I would take the cuddling. Our love is strong and grows stronger all the time. And there is the spanking. I still crave it. I still want it but I am really confused about it. The short and sweet background of my confusion is that I was married to an abusive man the first time I was married. He didn't spank, he punched. We never even discussed spanking...not as kink, a foreplay, a form of entertainment or a lifestyle...not as anything at all. He was just downright mean. The fact is, before I was finally able to make my permanent break from him, pretty much the last year that I was with my first husband, I was resigned to and convinced that he was going to kill me. Not necessarily intentionally, but I truly believed that he was going to get drunk and beat me to death and then be very remorseful. It was Honey's friendship that helped me be strong enough to walk away from that abusive situation. Honey has a problem with spanking me sometimes because there isn't an abusive bone in his body. When he really lets himself go and whacks on my ass pretty good, then I start wondering how someone who is supposed to love me can do that to me...even though its what I want. Of course, being the spankee, he also has some trouble from time to time grappling with that issue. If I don't think about it and just allow myself to indulge, I like it. I want more...a LOT more. Unfortunately, I have a hard time shutting my brain down sometimes. It isn't just in spanking either. Its sex in general. If I think about what I look like, my age, or any of a thousand other things, I can't enjoy any kind of sex. I have to close my eyes and just let myself feel. Its stupid I know. It will kill an orgasm if my thoughts drift to me. I will most likely NEVER be involved in a 3 way, 2 males and me, because of that. Its hard enough to shut the intrusions in my brain with Honey, who I am as comfortable with as I am with myself, much less a third party. And then there is the jealousy issue. Neither Honey nor I believe that a third party in our bedroom can enhance any part of our lives together. Honey is extraordinarily understanding and patient with me. I think I am with him too when his issues pop up to bug him. He is the most important part of my life. Nothing is complete until I can share it with him. He is my best friend, my best lover, and psychologist, my musical partner...I don't love any one thing about him, I love the whole package. Sex and games are great but if I had to choose between having a platonic relationship with Honey or having him as a fuck buddy with no relationship, I would take the platonic anyday, hands down. When I try to explain just how much I love him, I find the words to describe exactly what I feel have yet to be formed. Words, phrases, syllables are all inadequate. Picture this: My heart is latex balloon. My love is the helium that fills that balloon. When I think it has reached its maximum capacity, I find there is always more expand that balloon without ever popping it.

Okay...off to other things. I have been visiting, searching, seeking and finding sex-related, and kink-related sites on the web. I want to share with you a few of my personal favorites.

1. Anal Amy.com. This is a blog being written by a very young slut who has a thing for....you guessed it...anal sex. She is quite the little nympho (slut is a word she often uses in reference to herself). She gets laid a lot, in a lot of different ways, by a lot of different people. I got so turned on by her reading her detailed descriptions of a few of her sexual encounters that I have decided to start from the beginning. This particular blog of hers appears to have been created in May of 2006. I am only up the middle of June of 06 and I think she has already had more sex partners than I have had in my entire life. Non-manogamy is so scary these days that although I LOVE reading of her encounters, I am really glad that I am 20 again. As a standing rule, I am always glad that I'm not 20 again. That decade was not one of my favorites. I was already having kids by the time I was Amy's age and sex was very confusing to me. I didn't like the fact that I didn't know what the "rules" were about having sex. In high school, its easy. You don't do it. I realize most people do but the "rule" is that if you are female, you don't do it...at least they were like that when I was in high school. Then comes marriage and the vows of manogamy. But the inbetween times...I found it difficult to negotiate all that. Amy doesn't seem to be having any problems. At her age, I was wondering things like: Do I have sex on the first date? How far is "okay" and for how long? I have never been particularly interested in others opinions about all that. I pretty decided that if I was attracted to a man, and he was attracted to me and we both wanted to have sex, then we would. I had quite a few one night stands, a few illicit affairs but for the most part, I was chaste compared to most of the people I know. Luckily for me, I have had Honey to work out all the things I missed out on. Amy now...I can live vicariously pretty damned well through her writings. I urge you to drop by her blog and spend a little time browsing. I would love to hear back from anybody that does stop by there and let me know what you think. She isn't a spanko, but honestly, I think she just hasn't discovered that fetish yet. Her anal exploits always leave me wet and seeking out Honey's cock. This is a girl after my heart. She loves anal sex at least as much as I do...and she's a pain slut even though she doesn't really appear to know it yet. She takes lots of hard cock up her ass and quite often without lube of any kind. Tell me that isn't a pain slut. Tell me that isn't a girl who wouldn't enjoy a bare bottomed ride across some strong young sadists lap. And she has just a touch of bisexual in her so I think she could bottom for both boys and girls. Here's Amy's webdress: http://www.anal-amy.com

I have so much more that I want to blog about and have been such a terrible procrastinator that I can really only do this one recommendation and review for now. I have to go to bed because I have to be up in about 3 hours and will probably be up the rest of day...but that is a whole blog unto itself. I'm not going to wait so long to post again. If I have the time 2 or 3 times a day to blog, I'm going to start making a point of actually doing it. Its part of what has kept me from blogging. I think I have to put everything down in one entry and when I don't get it done, I put it off and put it off...I make no promises when I will post again but I'm hoping soon because I have some tasty stuff to share.

I KNOW ITS BEEN FOREVER....

Had you given up on me? Thought I had given up on the blog? I haven't. Life, as life sometimes does, has interferred with my ability, desire and causes for blogging. I won't go into all that but rest assured, I'm still here, I still have Honey for a playmate, and we do still play...just not as often. This is not by choice. This is because of circumstances.



I wonder what happened to Toy? I haven't located a new blog for her. I miss reading her oh-so-erotic encounters. I have had many a self-induced orgasm over her posts, her experiences, her fantasies. Even though some of her fantasies are not quite up my alley, they never failed to turn me on...even when I was cringing with fear.

I have been working on a post for several months, believe it or not. Its a fantasy. Oh, don't think the fantasy is so good that it has taken me forever to write it. Its just that everytime I think I am alone, I get into that certain "space" that I have to be in to write...well, to fantasize and then write...or do them simultaneously...SOMEBODY POPS INTO MY LITTLE BUBBLE. I really hate having people enter my bubble when I'm deeply engrossed. It completely destroys the mood. So, one of these days I will finish the post, I will share yet another fantasy, maybe I will even have an encounter to share.

Speaking of which...Honey has been expressing his desire to beat my ass in a serious way. Not in an "I'm pissed off at you" way. In a "flogging your ass makes me so horny" kind of way. I am pretty anxious myself. We have gotten to play a little. We discovered the good old dogleg wooden brush is relatively quiet so it has seen some use recently. Honey has used some other implements on my bottom as well, but I really don't know what they are. I just know they feel really good and the closer I get to orgasm, the harder he can hit. I'm still sure there is some kind of fucked up psychology that goes along with that....that probably goes along with the desire to be spanked thoroughly, but who really cares? It feels good. Well, it doesn't...it hurts like hell but it is every bit as erotic as fellatio or cunnilingus (oh my god...I forgot how to spell it), kissing, teasing the nipples, kissing from head to toe. Its just another facet and its a good one. I have a birthday coming up very soon. Another year older. How depressing. I don't feel any different. And I feel completely different. Its awfully nice watching TV and seeing women that are older than I am being as sexy and active as they were 20 or 30 years ago. No, our skin isn't as supple as a 20 year olds, but I can pretty well assure you that I know how to be sexy when and where it counts way better than any hard bodied 20 year old. Except maybe Britney Spears, who really needed to be taken over SOMEONEs knee and have her butt blistered before her parents finally took control of her. She may not have appreciated it at the time, but 10 or 20 years from now, when she's alive and those she was partying with are dead, or brain dead, she will know that her parents did what any loving parents would do under the same circumstances...minus the millions of dollars that were at stake. I really thought she was going to be pushed right over the edge and one day they were going to find her overdosed body somewhere...but I don't think thats the case anymore. She actually seems to be making some headway. She will never be like the rest of us. She isn't that bright, she has been way too priviledged way too fast and she was thrown into an adult world when she was still a child. But I think she might actually live through it.

I hate when I digress like that. In fact, I may even go back and take that whole Britney Spears part out before I post. Probably not, though. This is my babbling medium. Its my place to mostly babble about sex and those things that I don't discuss with anyone other than Honey but reserve the right to babble about anything I want.

I hope to do more writing in the near future. Not just here, but if I can get some good thoughts together, I would like to try to submit something to Pink Flamingo. I LOVE those stories and short stories are a great way to get into the writing mode again. I can write smut really well...now I need storyline! Oh and if anyone does or has gone to the Pink Flamingo website, please let me know what your favorite stories are. I have a few favorites already and although I have sat down several times already with the intention of ordering a paperback, I can't decide on just one, so I haven't ordered any.

I think for my birthday I am going to indulge in a Hitachi. Honey has wanted to get one for a while. I have preferred my battery operated, night table vibrator but I have been having serious bondage fantasies lately so I'm thinking a Hitachi might just be the icing on the cake. Honey used to tie me up all the time. I loved it. Then physical problems got in the way and it was just too painful. These were work-related injuries. When you have to go to court to get the employer to take responsibility, the lawyers tell you to tell the judge how these injuries have negatively impacted your life. Sexual function is included in that...you know, the old "marital obligation" stuff. How do you tell a judge, under oath, "Oh yeah, my husband and I used to enjoy when he hung me from the ceiling with my hands handcuffed behind my back so he could beat my ass to his satisfaction before throwing me on the bed and shoving his cock up my ass and fucking me so hard that I could feel it for a week." I don't know. Maybe I'm a prude, but I just can't do it. I leave the sex stuff out. The doctors...well, that is another story. I dont go into great detail or anything but I have mentioned more than once that we had an active, somewhat aggressive sex life that my body can no longer tolerate. Very mostly politically correct way of saying that yes, this injury is negatively impacting my life. If you have never been there, be glad. Its very awkward. And had I worked for an employer that cared at all about its employees, I would never have had to go to court.

So...wrapping this up because its early a.m and I would like to snuggle with Honey briefly before he gets up for work, I just want to say, don't give up on me. I'm preoccupied but I think things are getting better. I will finish that fantasy sooner or later.

Do you or have you ever fantasized...?

I shall pose this as a question, a fantasy and a concept. Have any of my readers out there, most of whom I know are female, ever considered, or fantasized about being a prostitute? I think those that enjoy humiliation and objectification will most understand what I am about to say. When considering, or fantasizing about the prospect of being a prostitute, you have to consider the levels of prostitution...each having its own fantasy attached to it.





Lets start from the bottom and work our way up.



THE STREETWALKER



Otherwise known as the $5 whore. As you can see, the nomenclature brings vivid imagery with it. For those who prefer humiliation and objectification, I would think this would be a common fantasy. I have to admit, it has been my occasional fantasy since I was an adolescent. The idea of being picked up by a stranger, bought like a bag of candy, subject to the whims of the person that bought me. For up to sixty minutes, I hand my body over to another individual to do with as he pleases . Oh my fantasies have ranged from the mere streetwalking, being picked up and fucked like any other whore to the more vivid fantasies. I get picked up by a real weirdo, someone who really wants to watch me squirm. He starts out by forcing me to my knees and shoving his hardening cock down my throat. My head is held still and I am told I am not to move. If I do move, I'll pay for it. I am choked by cock. Of course, despite myself, this turns me on. My titties are slapped, pinched, handled roughly the entire time. My head is pulled into this strangers cock. I can taste pre-cum. He stops before he cums. He lifts me by my bared and battered breasts. He throws me face down on the bed, rips off my skirt (its usually a skirt in my fantasies, although not always). He asks me in a rough, mean voice if I have ever been spanked. I tell not since I was a little girl. He tells me, in that same voice, that I am in for a treat. He is going to be my daddy for the night and he's going to beat my ass for being the bad little girl that I am. I struggle but he lays all his weight on top of me. He starts with his hands. There is nothing gentle about it. He slaps on my ass hard. I fight him. I kick. I scream. He tells me likes my screams and he slaps my ass harder. My ass becomes numbed to his attempts. Its hot. Its on fire. I can picture it being bright red. I don't cry. I don't want him to see me cry. He moves our bodies around so my torso is on the bed, my knees are on the floor. He is directly behind me. His body pushes mine into the bed. He reaches around to the front of me to taunt my breasts more. I can feel his hard cock pressing into my back. He has gotten naked and I never noticed. "You don't think we're done yet, do you," he mocks me. "I'm going to beat your ass so bad you wont be able to sit down for a week. You think being a whore is worth all that? You are going to have bruises that every john that buys you is going to see...and then I'm going to fuck you. I'm going to fuck you like you haven't been fucked in a year." I'm terrified. I have no means of escape, and even if I did, he bought and paid for me. I lost my right to refuse. My ethics, screwed up as they may be,
We agreed before we entered the room. I am his to with as he pleases for now. He gave me his word. No bruises to the face. No broken bones. No homicide. Okay, sure, he could have lied but I've seen his type before. He just gets off on the power exchange. Probably has a ballbuster of a wife at home and he wants to do to me all the things he would like to do to her.
He steps back from me. My breathing comes easier now, but not for long. He grabs me by my hair and pulls me backwards. I open my mouth to hollar out in surprise just in time for him to shove his cock back in my mouth. Still holding my hair, he fucks my mouth fast and hard. I don't have time to prepare and I gag. It doesn't stop him. He doesn't stop until he is ready to stop. When he finally does, he drags me around by my hair. He goes back to the bed. He sits and pulls me over his lap. He is scolding me the entire time but too much is going on for me to comprehend what he's talking about. He is angry. My body is laying across his legs. He has one leg over my legs and one leg under. He takes the arm of mine farthest from his body by the wrist. He holds the wrist at the lower arch of my back. He starts to spank my ass hard again with his open palm. I can't move. He has me completely restrained. After about 20 spanks, he stops. "You like that, don't you bitch. You know you deserve it." He rubs my ass gently. His fingers probe between my legs. "Just as I thought," he muses. "Like a fountain down here. You really do like it, don't you," I don't say anything. I feel my asscheeks being pried apart. "You want some of this?" he teases as his finger probes my anus. I tense up. "Oh yeah baby, keep that up and make me a really happy man." He forces his finger into my dry ass. He fingerfucks my ass. It hurts. He wants it to hurt. When he pulls his finger from my ass, it hurts just as much as it did going in. He starts beating my ass again, but now he has something he is using to beat my ass with. It hurts like crazy. He tells me his hand has gotten sore from trying to beat the badness out of me. He doesn't tell me what it is he is using. I don't find out until much later that it was a wooden hairbrush...something convenient that he found in the room...or maybe he brought it with him. I feel like the skin on my ass is going to explode. I try to wriggle away. He has me almost completely restrained by his body. The harder I fight, the harder he spanks. He doesn't do it slowly. Its one smack after another. The pain doesn't get any easier but I start to feel myself slip into that other place...you know the place. The place where all subs go. He goes on beating my ass but slowly, I stop fighting. I know there will be big ugly bruises tomorrow. I'll be surprised if there aren't bruises later that night. I become like a ragdoll laying across lap. Before I know it, he pushes me off his lap, in between his legs. His cock is rock hard. He orders me to suck it, which I do with ferver. He watches me. I feel his cock getting even harder, swelling. Before he can come, he pulls me off his cock and throws me back on the bed, face down again. He climbs on top of me from behind. I feel his fingers probing at my ass again. He pries open my asscheeks again but this time he lubricates...not a lot...just enough to ease the entry. I feel his cock urging its way between my cheeks. I get up on my knees, ass up, head down. His cock finds its target. Once he realizes he is where he wants to be, he shoves his hips forward. I cry out. He buries his cock all the way until his pelvis meets my ass. The entry is not unexpected but painful nonetheless. It takes my breath completely away. My head comes up off the bed but he shoves it back down. He uses my breasts like they are handles. The harder he squeezes each tit, the stronger the strokes into my ass. He mutters things while fucks me but I pay attention. My hand wanders to my clit. He fucks my ass hard and painfully but as I find just the right spot on my clit, the pain starts to subside. My asscheeks are burning and sore from the beating. The fucking is good once I get past the pain. Its a brutal session but my clit responds. As hard as this stranger pounds is as hard as I rub my clit. I feel his arousal increasing and mine rises to meet his. I know when he is about to come. I feel my own orgasm nearing. As I feel his cock begin to blast his load inside my ass, my own orgasm is triggered. I hear this strange man screaming to God things I have never heard before as my orgasm thunders through my body.

Oh yeah. Okay, my $5 Whore fantasy varies, sometimes rough, sometimes not, but my fantasies are almost always rough. Sometimes they include more than just one person. I have voyeur and exhibitionist fantasies too. Sometimes the idea of having someone in the room watching me get my ass spanked hard is quite the turn on. Sometimes watching someone else get her ass beaten is a really hot fantasy.

The Escort

The next variation to it is the Escort Service. No streetwalking. Safer environment. Cleaner environment and cleaner clientele. A better idea of what is expected from the very beginning.

Much as I hate to do this...I'm going to let my readers think about where these fantasies go from here. Its really late in my little corner of the world and I'm very tired, so I will pursue the The Escort Service and the Callgirl later this week. Feel free to share any variations you may have. I am always looking for new fodder to masturbate to.

Feeling the Love

Its really surprising to me sometimes how even a single comment can renew the urge to continue with this blog...or any other writing. Thank you for those comments. Even if I don't respond, its not because of a lack of appreciation. I live for those little comments. Its because I am terrible correspondent...and I can prove it.

I am probably one of those perpetual students. I went so long after high school without really going to school but I really don't think I have ever gone more than a couple of years without going to SOME kind of classes. I love the learning process but I am not such a great student.

When I was in high school, I earned money on the side (I have been working at least a part-time job since I was 10 years old. I had one bout of unemployment for 5 months about 17 or 18 years ago and then there is now) by doing other people's homework but it took all but an Act of Congress to get me to do my own homework. I have always done well on tests...with a few exceptions. I had a college algebra course that I froze up on the final. Fortunately, I had a great teacher that year and she saw my frustration, picked up my test when I turned it in, chased me down the hall, talked to me about "test anxiety," which I had never before experienced but I have, I think, phobias about testable math. For reasons I won't go into because you really wouldn't be interested, I didn't have "pre-algebra" in middle school before having High School Algebra. I survived high school but I never understood it. I could do it but it wasn't until this great teacher named Mrs. Beaver (no, I'm not making it up) in college that I understood it. Anyway, this same teacher chased me down the hall, told me "You know this stuff," explained test anxiety, told me to go wash my face, take a few deep breaths, take a walk to clear my head and come back and try again. I took her advise and when I sat back down to do the test, she was right...it all came flooding back and I was able to finish the test. I still feel test anxiety from time to time. It sucks. Its like slamming slamming a cell door on the brain. One second I know everything and the next, I can barely remember my name. I can usually close my eyes and talk myself out of it now, but not always. I still hate homework. I think if you can pass the tests, why should the homework count...and if you have problems with the tests, the homework should count more because you ARE actually showing the ability to do the work, just not necessarily without notes. I don't know about anybody else, but I haven't seen a career field yet that didn't allow the use of crib sheets, notes, whatever you need to get the job done. You can have the information in your computer, in notebooks, on index cards...whatever you need, so why can't schools, including colleges, personalize the experience, really grade on the ability to perform the work necessary. I know the schools, public and private are overwhelmed, but a scan of gradebooks and just a LITTLE one on one attention can provide so much more insight. So...maybe I should be a teacher? I have given thought to that idea. And I may...did you guess that I'm about to go to school...again?

The problem is the loss of interest. I have trouble with my attention span. Always have. I learn fast, usually, so sticking with the pace of a class has always been problematic. I like challenges so the classes that I do have trouble with keep my attention. The others...well, lets just say my GPA should be high but it isn't. Its average. Maybe even a little lower than average. It seems that I have genetically transferred this to my children. Only one is actually a little slow, learning disabled, but he has more common sense than any of my other kids and he is EXTREMELY responsible...scarily so, in fact. The others just get bored and have trouble with follow through. I do have a college degree, but I haven't lost the urge to learn so I plan to work on a Master's degree along with another Bachelors. I don't have work to slow me down now so maybe I will actually do well...I did well the four years it took me to get my Bachelors (right around a 3.6 average) but because of classes I had taken when I was younger, my overall GPA is, I think, a 2.6. Its okay, though. I still got my degree and I know and understand everything about my degree field. I think that is more than a lot of people who have degrees can say.

So what does all that have to do with a spanking blog? Absolutely nothing. Unless I/we decide to incorporate spanking in to my academics. Honestly, I have considered it but I don't think it would work. That would be me trying to force someone else to force me to do something that I already know I have to do. The rebel in me thinks it could be counterproductive and just make me resentful. Besides, I am far more interested in actually learning than I am in grades. I have too many things I want to know, from electricity to teaching to medicine to law. I actually talked myself out of law school though because I don't want to have that much debt late in life. Medicine is great but let's face it, those folks put way more hours into a work week than I want to spend and the work is HARD...and I really don't think I am compassionate enough for medicine. And I know I don't want to get into the psychology of the whole spanking thing. I like it. If I know why, I might not like it anymore. I think being sexually satisfied could go a LONG way toward making school easier. And being sexually satisfied at this stage of my life often includes a little pain play.

As I write this, Honey and I are awaiting a few new toys. I'll probably hate myself when they get here, as I usually do. We have a loopy rattan cane and a couple of other canes that Honey picked out. Of course, I sent him the link for him to find the ones he wanted...silly me. I'm sure there will be at least one or two picture posts when they get here. I'm looking foward to them arriving...in that masochistic sort of dreading way. I can't wait...but I can...but I can't.

Okay, really this was just going to be few lines to try to get back in the swing of things but the one thing I have never been excused of is being at a loss for words.

Has It Really Been Almost Two Months??????

How remiss have I been with my blog? Oh my God...I couldn't believe when I looked at the date and noticed how long it had been!!!! Well, to say that things are going well would, I guess, be quite the understatement.

I can't remember if I mentioned it or not (I'm sure I did but just in case, I'll say it again). I quit my job of 17 years on October 1st. It was a tough decision but it was a good one I think. I haven't decided exactly what I am going to do and I think I am starting to get passed the identity crisis it has caused for me. I have many options, many plans and will be anything but idle in the next couple of years but it has felt a lot like being 17 and graduating high school all over again. I think they call this a mid-life crisis. The job thing...I loved my job so it made it very difficult and I know that by quitting, the asshole that I was forced to work under thinks he got the upperhand on me. Little does he know we have not visited our last meetings as of yet and when we do, he will most likely discover that he isn't very clever at all. I don't know how he has gone all these years without realizing that. It seems he has been told that everywhere he has gone but some people are thick headed. Anyway, between the health issues caused by the job, the heavy stress, the underutilization of my talents and the complete lack of integrity that has befallen the workplace, I chose to leave of my own free will. I can take up and probably achieve more in the field by working as a volunteer at this point and I have way more ambition than to just let some unknowing, untalented, ignorant brute run roughshod over me. I can do better.

Of course, that has nothing to do with what the blog is supposed to be about. Its just an excuse for being neglectful. I have had to reevalute my entire life. I like the direction I am headed for the first time in years! For the last several months I have been able to be a stay at home wife! I have NEVER had that opportunity before. I am a terrible housewife as far as cooking and cleaning but I like the being able to stay at home part. I am here whenever Honey comes by during the day. We don't have to coordinate schedules to spend time together. I discovered ER (way different subject). The only serious problem I have at the moment is that I have gained a LOT of weight this past year. I have justification. In the last year, I have quit smoking (I was a pack a day smoker since I was 13 years old...trust me...I had been smoking a very long time) and I had surgery on a herniated disk in my neck. Needless to say, I have spent a lot of time in the last year on my ass....now I have to find a new diet and workout schedule that I can do since I am limited now on how I exercise. I walk. It isn't enough. I always lost weight in the past with running in place. I don't want to risk hurting myself again so I am not up to running in place yet but I have started stair climbing. Lets see how it works out.

As for the sex life...well...there hasn't been a lot of a sex life. There hasn't been a lot of spanking. There hasn't been a lot of anything other than living because of my health issues and poor Honey is trying to follow suite, I think. I'm afraid to push him too hard and he's afraid to push me so we just haven't been very active because we are afraid of hurting each other...and not in that pleasurable way we all know and love.

Having said that, let me say that there has SOME playtime. Man oh man oh man. You know, I hate being deprived and I hate FEELING deprived even more. But it has one thing going for it that you just can't ignore. When you do get to make love, spank, play games, whatever it is you do...its EXPLOSIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Honey and I engaged in some "raising the sexual tension bar" by playing with some of the toys a couple of times throughout the day. He spanked me briefly (a mere 5 or 10 swats) with first one wooden paddle and then later in the day, the holey paddle. I was ready for some serious playtime. So was Honey. We actually waited until we went to bed that night. We didn't play any spanking games then. Then it was pure carnal pleasure. Honey fucked my mouth. I do so love when he does that. I close my eyes and lay back. I can feel as he nears orgasm. Often, once we get to the mouthfucking stage, I don't want to stop when I feel him getting close to cumming. I often grab him by his hips when he tries to pull away in order to perform other sex acts and force him to come in my mouth. It turns me on so much I just have to have to the whole thing. I won't say I was fucked good and proper. I wasn't. Honey made love to me on this night. It was sweet. It was gentle. It was loving. It was incredible. And we came together.

Not the stories of usual, but then, not a lot has been "as usual" for a while now. But it has all been good.

The Saga Continues

I don't know about anyone else, but the one thing I really hate about the cane (so far) are the stray swacks...and the ones that decide to loop around the hips. I don't care for that stinging pain on the hipside. In fact, I pretty well cave on that one. Thighs are the same way. Let one of the rattan devils decide to ride low and I turn into a little bitty ball covering all that may need to be covered until the initial pain abates. I have more pictures but as you can see from these pictures, I encountered a few of those. Now, I know any bottom can understand this, but it was my stupid idea to throw the cane in as an implement for the night. I was really just wanting to try out, in a real kind of way, the new paddles. Stingy little boogers, those are, but thats beside the point. Honey really REALLY likes the cane. I think it must be a phallic thing (I'll pay for that comment later, I'm sure). Honey has read my blog. Honey has seen my favorite spanking movies. Honey knows that I really want those deep marks you see on the videos. Honey also knows I am not really into drawing blood when we play so when you think about it, I think he really has his work cut out for him.


Obviously, says the sensible part of my brain, you have been watching way too movies and should probably lay off the sado-masochism before you make yourself really sorry. That, however, is not to be. Instead, I found myself subscribing to yet another spanking site this past week. "Her First Punishment" is my newest fascination. Even as I type this, I am downloading a seriously vicious, deviant, savage spanking video...and I can't wait to see how close I can get to having the same thing done to me.



(I feel the need to interject at this moment that I am SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO) glad Blogger saves drafts automatically or I would have wiped out this blog by accident. Nothing will make me quit writing faster than accidentally deleting a blog that I have been working on)



So, Honey and I had been talking extensively about our next playtime, but it wasn't really working out for us to actually have a playtime. It was becoming very depressing. Honey and I were finally able to find ourselves in the home alone, time on our hands, and both in the mood. Anybody who reads my blogs very often knows that I am a HUGE fan of paddles. I wanted my newest buy to be tried out in the truest fashion. I bought THREE lexan paddles with holes. Well, they said they were lexan. And they may be but they feel way more like acrylic. They are light and stingy. One is a kind of pocket paddle. Small, transportable, I guess like a cheek to cheek paddle (pictures to be posted soon). The second one is a respectably sized paddle, with holes, probably best not used for close proximity spanking but more like for punishment It is the kind of paddle that you stand or kneel in front of your spanker and he whacks on you at about arms length away. I think this is Honey's favorite of the three. The third one...I surely must have lost my mind. Its a frat sized paddle, with holes. I like the holes. I know its supposed to make it hurt more, but I like them. This sucker is way longer than it is sensible and Honey says he is actually afraid its going to break around the handle area, so he hasn't used it a lot. Honey likes big paddles (think Bruiser) when it comes to my ass but I think this one actually makes him a little uncomfortable. He likes to think he can beat my ass as hard as he wants without his implements breaking. I'm thinking: if it breaks, maybe he was being a little too rough with my ass. He's not convinced.

Honey and I actually have much fun when playtime comes around. He has such a way of pushing me farther and farther. I have a decent pain tolerance most of the time. We started with the cane. Honey doesn't believe in spanking over clothes so we both got naked and he told me the position he wanted me in...doggystyle, pillows supporting me. Totally accessible. We had agreed that Honey would be doing some serious-type wailing on me and he certainly showed me that he isn't afraid to wield a cane. 25 strokes in all. That was my count anyway. 25 cane strokes, none of them on the light, lets-just-play-around side. Each and every one swished through the air audibly. Each and every one left top and bottom cane marks. Each and every one turned Honey on more and more. He gave me little breaks. They weren't one stroke on top of the other for the full 25. He swatted my ass a few times then would take the time to let the burn cool down some. About every ten strokes, he stopped to give me pleasure as well. Honey took full advantage of the parts that were accessible to him. He would bring my passions up to boiling point and then reposition for more spanking. Honey knows now that crying out in pain doesn't mean stop. It means give me a second. Honey knows that way to push me into longer and heavier play is to arouse me sexually as well as painfully. I do so like the two together (so does Honey, by the way, but in different ways than I do). 25 hard cane strokes that I took before we changed implements and I was as sexually aroused as a woman can be...and ready for more.



We moved on to the leather strap. Once my ass is fired up, the leather strap, no matter how hard Honey swings it, turns into a gentle massage. My silly self once thought it was just that unimpressive as a tool of torture and let Honey wield it a few times OVER clothing for fun. I was shocked at how much it hurt. Now I know...its the headspace. I can tell Honey is swinging hard when we are in playtime but it doesn't hurt. I like it. I stick my ass out for more. It brings a nice heat to the action. I was in the mood for more painful play than a strap. I told Honey when we first got started "If you don't bruise me tonight, I will never let you spank me again." Honey took this to heart. He certainly did his best to comply with my wishes.

Once Honey felt he had sufficiently strapped my ass, he came around to the front of me. His cock was so hard. I opened my mouth and he proceeded to fuck my face just the way I like it...hard, deep, breathtaking...it makes my ass tingle for more punishment...it makes the rest of my body crave more of his cock. He held my face while he pumped his cock back and forth in my mouth. He would slow only to go deeper into my throat. He pushed his cock as far back into my throat as he could. His pelvis rubbed my face. I couldn't speak. I could feel Honey getting more and more aroused. I could feel his orgasm building. I wanted it. I wanted him to come in my throat. I wanted him to shove his cock down my throat and come. I was as aroused as he was...but he didn't. He pulled his cock away from me when he couldn't hold off any longer and went back to beating my ass.

I was glad.

Granted this is not the best shot to see it, but our playtime picked up again with the paddles I had so wanted to try out...and the trusty wooden holey paddle. Everything with holes. I had challenged him to leave the markings of the holes on my ass. If you look closely, you will see that he succeeded. I don't know how many swats I took. I don't know how long Honey paddled my ass. I didn't count. I just reveled in the pain. Honey would spank me hard...very hard...and then go down on me. Then he would change implements and do it again. Over and over, with each of the new toys, always ending with Honey going down on me hungrily. My ass was beaten so well. My arousal got steadily more intense as Honey spanked. Finally, when Honey was satisfied with his work, when I felt the heat radiating from my ass so much I thought I would lose my mind, Honey filled my ass with his cock. The lovemaking was passionate, it was hungry, it was overwhelming. It didn't last that long. We were both too aroused for it to last very long. Honey fucked my ass hard and I was in a world of bright lights and fireworks between the stinging, the heat, the pain, the passion...my body was on total overload. My orgasm started in my feet, swept to the top of my head and back down again. It was a long, exhausting orgasm. It was EXACTLY as the session should have ended...with both of us exhausted, breathless and completely satisfied.

The after pictures, you ask....well, there aren't any pictures of my bruises because, if you can believe it, the bruises that I ended up with were so light they would never show up in a picture. I was SO disappointed, I can't even begin to tell you. Honey says he will have to start hitting harder. I'm thinking he hit plenty hard. My very well spanked ass looked at its best within the hour of having stopped. There was bruising. In fact, both cheeks were bruised, but I had to be in just the right light for it to be seen. OH! And my latest stupid move. The 3 paddles weren't good enough for this masochist. I had to buy Honey a "sample" pack of canes. Had I realized how thick they were going to be, I most likely wouldn't have done it but since I did, well, you know Honey just can't WAIT to try them on my bare bottom. And I'm sure he will in the next couple of days. I did tell him, however, that he would have to use just one cane per session or we wouldn't be able to tell what they did. He agree...thankfully for me.

The Last Big Day

After all the waiting, the ungodly horniness, the cravings for some REAL contact, I got my wish...IN SPADES! I have decided to do things a little different today. There is so much for me to say that I don't want to miss anything, but I have such a short attention span these days, I decided it would be interesting to give a little at a time. I will be updating my blog off and on today and if I don't finish my story, perhaps it will carry into tomorrow. I'm just going to start for now

I have been wanting Honey to really...there are a gazillion words that would fit here but they all sound callous...beat me....no, don't like the sound of it...wear my ass out...true but still kind of coarse sounding...wail the skin off my ass...YYOUCH!!!!!!!!!! Once again, true, but just doesn't sound right.
Okay, how about this. I needed to be entertained in the roughest fashion comfortable to man or woman. Yeah, that sounds nice, doesn't it?
The truth is, I wanted Honey to beat my ass black and blue. I don't know why. I know it sounds like I always ask that question but really, especially in the throes of it, I could care less why. He likes it, I like it...it works. This was probably one of the most severe encounters we have had and I loved it. We kept getting interrupted unfortunately or it probably would have been even more severe...and I certainly wouldn't have minded that at all...but as it turns out, it was GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This first picture...oh yeah, that was just the beginning.

Thank You to My Lurkers!

I want to thank those that were brave enough to leave me a message. It is always so much more appreciated than you can possibly imagine. The last couple of months have had their share of emotional upheavals so my writing has been way spottier (did I make that word up?) than I would like. I am still in a fair amount of pain, some days worse than others, but way less than I was so I think I can safely say the surgery was a success. I was afraid I would lose my readers during this bizarre time in my life, but so far, I don't think I have lost any. If anything, it looks like I have a picked up a couple of regulars. YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I noticed a couple of new areas when I was looking at the locations my readers come from. And when I checked my "referrals" I found two great German sites (I think they are German anyway). They made me wish I could read German in a big way.

I don't think I have ever mentioned it but I love erotic art. Erotic art turns me on almost as much as erotic movies do. I think its because erotic art gives me the opportunity to let my imagination run free with the image...and I have such a vivid imagination.

I had planned on posting some new pics tonight. I think they will be appreciated. I had one of those weeks...well, make that plural in terms of weeks...Let's just say that since Honey was afraid to touch me and I was home alone watching spanking movies and porno movies...I was more than ready to have my body used, abused and thoroughly ravaged. Let me assure you, I got EXACTLY what I asked for. For some reason, blogger can't post pics tonight and what would the story be without the pics? There are one or two that I'm pretty sure even Toy from Married Man's fucktoy will appreciate. I have to say this to Bonnie from My Bottom Smarts...remember when I said I wanted those colorful welts on my ass that they get on Lupus? Obviously I had lost my mind completely.

Having said all that, maybe having to wait another day to post pics isn't a bad thing. I have pics that we took that night. My oh so white skin wasn't so white...and still isn't,..in certain areas. We planned on giving my ass one more day to see what becomes of the bruises. I suspect they will get quite colorful but right now, they are those weak colors that you can see in person....yellow, green, light purple and blue....but they look like the color is going to get fall like before they go away. I can post some mighty vivid "just after" shots, the story that goes along with it, and if I'm in a real writers mood (we can all hope), it should be pretty good. I know the doing was good...REALLY GOOD. And I will also have some great "reminder" shots. You know the ones I'm talking about. The ones you can't help but check out in the mirror everytime you go to the bathroom? The ones that bring that naughty little smile to your face when you sit just right and get that little "ouch" feeling. Or the "ouch" actually slips from your lips.

Well, now that my teenage son has entered the room and COMPLETELY ruined the mood and concentration I need to write, I guess I will leave you for now. IN the next day or two, plan on some really owie shots showing up and a really hot story to go along with it. Honey nad I had a very very good night together...several, actually, lately, but this one was one for the bloggers!