Thought for the day

The feel of his cock. I lay there, waiting for him to do something. Anything. My breathing is shallow. His hands have been roaming all over my tits, my waist, my asscheeks. I want his cock inside me. I don't care where. Anywhere. Everywhere. I feel the warmth, the heat generating from his cock. He squeezes my tits. I get goosebumps. His fingers brush my clit. I groan. The need builds. My hand goes between my legs. His hands grab my ass again and pull my asscheeks apart. I want to tell him to fuck him. I want to tell him to shove his cock up my ass NOW. I want to plead with him, but I can't. The words won't come out. I feel his cock head against my asshole. The tight little hole spasms with a life of its own. I want it. He presses until he feels the taut hole start to give, start to open up. I moan. It hurts but it feels so good. I rub my clit faster. He eases the pressure off. I wiggle my ass at him, a wordless seduction telling him to come back. I feel the head of his cock again pressing against my asshole. I wait, breathlessly, to see what he will do. I try to open myself up to him more. Just the feel of his cock against that wanton part of my body increases my arousal. I want him to take me. I want him to hurt me. I want him to possess me in the way that only assfucking can do. I want him to grab my hips and plunge himself to the hilt inside of me. I want him to forcefully take me, whether I fight him or beg him or plead with him to stop, I want him to fuck me. I want him to fuck me like the little slut I am for him. I want him to fuck my ass hard. I want his cock pounding my asshole in ways that cause me to make noises that I don't realize are eminating from me right away. I want to be impaled on his cock, feeling his cock deeper inside me than it has ever gone before.

But he doesn't do that. He doesn't impale me. He doesn't take me. He doesn't plunge his cock into me. I feel him stroking his cock. The head of his cock is still pressing against my asshole, but he is jacking off. I can tell by the response from my body, by his animal sounds and by the speed of his strokes that he is near to orgasm. It turns me on even more. He has me placed so that I can not touch him. He is behind me. I can not see him. I can only feel him, his cock, the rocking of the bed. I can hear him. I can hear his labored breathing as his orgasm nears. I want him to stop before he comes. I want him to thrust his hard, swollen cock into me. I want to feel his cum inside me. I want our bodies to become one. He pushes his cock into my asshole just the tiniest bit as he gets closer. It stretches my unlubricated ass. He continues to stroke. I try to push back against him, to take him in deeper but I can't. I feel my own orgasm nearing. As his pace increases, so does mine. I want him to fuck me but I've passed the "fuck me" frame of mind. Now I just need the orgasm. I can tell he is in the same place. The moaning and groaning from both of us continues to get louder and louder, more and more pressing. His cock, still having barely entered my ass swells. He reaches the peak and I can feel his come spurting into me. My orgasm is right behind his. My asshole squeezes his cumming cock head, pulsating with my own orgasm, in rhythm to the jets of cum being shot into my ass. I am left breathless. So is he. Slowly, he withdraws his cockhead from my assring. The moment is over for now. My anal cravings are satisfied for now. Barely, but an orgasm brought on by a cock anywhere takes the edge off. If I'm lucky, that won't be the last of it. If I'm really lucky, when I wake up in the morning my body will have that "I've just spent the night fucking hard" feeling all over my body.

My idea of the perfect "spent the night fucking hard" feeling? I wake up relaxed, peaceful. As I start out of bed, I realize the muscles in my legs and arms are sore, like I have been lifting weights. As I move into a sitting position, I am caught off guard by the pain in my ass...and my pussy. Everything hurts, everything is sore. My pussy is sore and it kind of burns when I pee. My asshole is hypersensitive and it causes me a fair amount of anxiety everytime I go to the bathroom. My asscheeks ache when I sit. I look in the mirror and find bruises already set in. I dont have to see the bruises though. I can feel them with every move I make. I try to walk but the soreness in my legs and pussy make me have to concentrate in order to not walk like I just spent the night being fucked hard. When nobody is watching, I don't bother with the pretext. I walk bowlegged with the occasional groan of pain. I sit on pillows. I get up only when I have to. I love that feeling. I love that "been rode good and hard" feeling the next day. And all day, everyday until the pain eases up, I can be found with a mischievious little grin on my face at all times.

What do you think?

Can anybody tell me how they manage to not wiggle and struggle and fight when they are getting spanked? I don't totally understand it myself. Its something I want. Its something I enjoy...after....but the during....poor Honey has his hands full. I want him to really whack away on my ass some days...but that doesn't mean that I can just sit there and take it. Its instinct, you know? Oh, some days I can most definitely just take it...and even ask for more...and harder. Needless to say, Honey is really fond of those days but most of the time I can't. I watch spanking videos all the time. I am in awe. Oh sure, there are a few that wiggle around like I do but most just let them beat their asses and at most squeal or whine. When I'm in "that" frame of mind, I don't much squeal, whine or wiggle...Honey really likes that...not that he minds when I fight back so much, its just much nicer for both of us when I don't.

He has gotten pretty good at being able to tell how hard he can spank too. Its not something I care to remind him of very often, but usually if he starts out hard, like harder than I like and will probably say mean things to him over, he can spank longer and harder overall. I LOVE the bruises. We actually had some spanking games recently that left a pretty respectable bruise for over a week! There were a couple of bruises but only one that was really good.

And does anybody else have those "phases"? You know, sometimes you want to be whipped with the belt, sometimes the paddle, sometimes the cane, etc? I almost always prefer a wooden paddle, and we have several different kinds. Some are big, some are small, some are thick, some are thin...It has surprised me more than I can say how much those thin paddles can hurt. Its not hurt really...more like sting. They sting like the dickens.

When its at its best, Honey gets into this spanking/teasing rhythm that is just mind-boggling. I get to the point that I just become a ball of sensation and just want to be fucked...and beaten...and fucked...and beaten...and I can't tell which I enjoy more. Spanking and ass-fucking have always just seemed like natural companions.

Here is my perfect sex night.

It starts out with mild spanking...maybe a playful handspanking or even an implement. Honey has me lay over his lap. He raises my skirt and pulls down my panties. He rubs my ass first, getting me nice and relaxed and then he begins. He spanks my bare bottom until it is a nice rosy pink color. It is just starting to radiate heat. He drops me between his legs where I kneel as he takes his pants off. He gathers my hair at the back of my head and pulls me toward him. He is semi-hard. He tells me he is going to use my mouth to masturbate. I open my mouth to receive him. He guides my face onto his cock, and forces my head back and forth as his cock grows in my mouth. With each inward stroke I can feel his cock going further down my throat, filling more of my mouth. He tell me to just keep my mouth open and he holds my head still. His cock has reached its full length and width and he wants to fuck my throat. He pistons his hips back and forth in my mouth, reaching further and further with the head of his cock down my throat. I am lucky enough (or maybe its Honey thats the lucky one) to not have much of a gag reflex so he can shove his entire cock down my throat. Most of the time I don't gag. But sometimes....on this particular day, when I gag, Honey takes it as a sign to pull me up, push my down over his lap again and wail on my ass. He takes me by surprise the first time. He holds me down across his lap while he takes a belt to my ass. The swats are hard and fast. I hardly have time to react at all, for the realization of what has happened to sink in before I find myself back on the floor between his legs, my mouth being forced onto his cock again, doing exactly what he he said he was going to do...masturbating with my mouth. He jerks my head back and forth, pushing his cock again all the way into my mouth, into my throat. When he gets all of his cock wedged deep, he holds my head down, not letting me off his cock to breathe, pumping his hips trying to get just a little more in my mouth. When he lets my head up, I gasp for air but before I know it, his cock is wedging its way down my throat again. I gag and try to pull away. This is what he wants, of course. I find myself thrown over his lap again and this time he pelts my ass with a ping-pong paddle. He gets a good dozen swats off before the sting sets in my brain and I whine..no words, just a sound. This gets him going even more and he pounds my ass as hard as he can at least two dozen more times without stopping. My ass feels like its going explode. I struggle to get away but he has me trapped. The sting is so sharp I have trouble breathing. All I can do is gasp. He shoves me off his lap again and this time stands up. He takes my head in his hands again and fucks my face hard. I'm afraid my teeth are going to cut my lips but he doesn't care. I can feel him getting close to cumming. I can taste it. He is varying his speed now. As he gets close, he slows down. When he has his orgasm at bay, he fucks my face hard. When he's ready to spank me more, he shoves his cock down my throat as deep as he can over and over until I gag. He jerks me back off the floor and over his lap again. As he rains blows down on my ass with a hairbrush, he tells me its time to move on...not from the spanking...we still have lots of spanking to do...he beats my ass with the hairbrush until I am begging him to stop. My ass has become a crimson red and is radiating much heat. When he tires of the hairbrush, he gets up and bends me over the side of the bed. He rips off ten hard swats from the holy paddle before I can mutter a gutteral groan of pain. "Do you want me to stop?" he asks me. I know what answer he wants from me. "No." He resumes spanking my ass with the holy paddle. He spanks hard and fast. Another gutteral groan escapes me. He throws the paddle on the bed next to me and leans up against me, his thighs pressed against my thighs, his hard cock pushing up against me and in between my legs, his chest on my back. He reaches around and grasps both of my breasts and squeezes, massages, pinches. He whispers in my ear "I'm going to fuck you soon. I'm going to fuck you and I'm going to fuck you hard." My breathing is ragged with pain and arousal. "I may fuck your pussy but I promise you I'm going to fuck you up the ass. My cock is going to be buried so deep in your ass you're going to know I was there for days. If your lucky, I MAY lube your ass first, but that's a big maybe. Right now, I'm thinking you just need to take me any way I want." One hand roughs up my breast and the other hand moves between my legs. "Im not done spanking you yet. You need a really good ass-beating." I can't say a word. I'm terrified and turned on. "I can tie you up for the spanking or you can be a good girl and take it what I have to give you. Which is it going to be?" "Please don't tie my hands down," I plead with him. "Alright, we'll give it a try, but if you don't stay still, I'll be forced to restrain you." With that, he takes the hand that was between my legs and toys with my ass. "Oh baby, your ass is so hot. You have no idea how much that turns me on." He squeezes my asscheek, causing renewed pain to my already sensitive skin. He takes the hand from my breast and massages both asscheeks roughly. He separates my asscheeks and probes the tight hole he intends to take. It feels dry but I tingle all over as he pushes the tip of a finger inside. "Oh yeah, your ass is just crying for my cock..." No words come out of me. He prods a little further. "You just love getting your ass beat, don't you Baby." He shoves a finger all the way in my ass. I gasp. He doesn't spend a long time there, but he pumps his finger in and out a few times. He chuckles to himself. He removes his finger, places his hand on my back. I feel a coolness on my flaming asscheeks. The real spanking begins. With his hand on my lower back to make sure I don't move, my ass gets beaten with the lexan paddle, a thin wooden paddle, the holy paddle and Bruiser. I find myself lost in subspace, wanting more and more. Honey lays a cool 100 hard swats on my ass before he stops. Then he hovers over me again. His erection teases me. His hands go straight to my breasts and he whispers in my ear. "You like that, don't you Baby. " I still can't talk. "You ready for me to fuck you?" He slides his cock back and forth against my pussy. "MMMmmmm hmmmmmmm" is the best I can muster. "My cock is so hard. Can you feel it??" Your cock pokes at my ass. Once again, I can't say anything. I am afraid that you will take my ass without preparation. You smack my ass with your hand. "I asked you a question." I still can't answer. I feel the head of your cock press against my tight sphincter. "Do you want me to spank your ass more or would you rather get fucked now." "Fuck me" I whisper. You press the head of your cock into my ass. I gasp. It hurts. "What did you say" you ask me, pushing your cock in a little at a time, pretending you don't hear me. "Oh.....it hurts," I struggle to get the words out. "Did you say it hurts?" You mock-question me as you sink a good half of your length into my ass. I can feel my asshole tearing. "Oh...oh...oh God!" I half-cry. You pull your cock back a little ways and slam it the rest of the way in. "Take it out! Take it out! Take it out! It hurts too much!" I plead. "Breathe," you tell me calmly in my ear. You ease your cock back until just the tip remains. As you pull back, it rips the breath out of me. "Fuck you in the ass or beat your ass hard for the next half hour. The choice is yours." You shove your cock all the way in again. "Beat me. I can't take it. Please take it out."You hold your cock inside me for a minute, giving my asshole a chance to get used to the rude instrusion. You pump gently back and forth. "Are you sure?" You ask me almost teasingly. I'm not sure. I'm not sure of anthing. "No." I whisper. You pull your cock out of my ass as quickly as you had shoved in. You grab up one of the wooden paddles and lay into my ass. My subspace as been interrupted and now I struggle, but you hold me down while you pound on my ass. You stop briefly. "Oh Baby, you are definitely going to know I've been here every time you try to sit down for days." You don't beat my ass for half an hour but what little relief I had started to gain disappears and the red hot flame returns. I can't count. I can't speak. All I can do is struggle. When you are satisfied with the beating you are giving me, you throw down the paddle, spread my asscheeks, and shove your cock up my ass again. It takes the breath away from again but this time the pain isn't quite as bad. You fuck my ass earnestly from the beginning this time. I know that no matter how much I complain, how much I beg, how much I plead, this time it won't do me any good. You murmur things about how good your cock looks in my ass, how good my red ass looks around your cock, the beautiful bruises that are already beginning to show, but I can barely hear. There is roar of pain, pleasure, and growing excitement in my ears. My hand moves to my clit and in seconds, my orgasm is racing yours to the finish line. You pound my ass hard with your cock. Your cock slides easily in and out, as if you had lubed my ass to start with. I hear your orgasm mounting. I feel your cock swelling in my sore ass. As your moans of pleasure gain in strength, my own mount to match yours. Soon, all either of us can hear is the blood rushing in our ears, our own moans of orgasm. Tingles rip through my body from the tips of my toes, but through my asshole that is still impaled on your cock and now filling with your cum, to the hair on the top of my head. The earth rattles for me. I see fireworks. My orgasm feels like it will go on forever. As it subsides, I become aware of the fullness of your cock, still securely planed in my backside. I become aware of the pain of even the hair on your body as it rubs against the fleshy parts of my ass and thighs. When we can breathe again, you gently remove your cock from ass.

Another fantasy to play with. I think we have actually done something very similar to this.

Hope that makes up a little bit for only getting on about every 3 months these days.

Do you or have you ever fantasized...?

I shall pose this as a question, a fantasy and a concept. Have any of my readers out there, most of whom I know are female, ever considered, or fantasized about being a prostitute? I think those that enjoy humiliation and objectification will most understand what I am about to say. When considering, or fantasizing about the prospect of being a prostitute, you have to consider the levels of prostitution...each having its own fantasy attached to it.





Lets start from the bottom and work our way up.



THE STREETWALKER



Otherwise known as the $5 whore. As you can see, the nomenclature brings vivid imagery with it. For those who prefer humiliation and objectification, I would think this would be a common fantasy. I have to admit, it has been my occasional fantasy since I was an adolescent. The idea of being picked up by a stranger, bought like a bag of candy, subject to the whims of the person that bought me. For up to sixty minutes, I hand my body over to another individual to do with as he pleases . Oh my fantasies have ranged from the mere streetwalking, being picked up and fucked like any other whore to the more vivid fantasies. I get picked up by a real weirdo, someone who really wants to watch me squirm. He starts out by forcing me to my knees and shoving his hardening cock down my throat. My head is held still and I am told I am not to move. If I do move, I'll pay for it. I am choked by cock. Of course, despite myself, this turns me on. My titties are slapped, pinched, handled roughly the entire time. My head is pulled into this strangers cock. I can taste pre-cum. He stops before he cums. He lifts me by my bared and battered breasts. He throws me face down on the bed, rips off my skirt (its usually a skirt in my fantasies, although not always). He asks me in a rough, mean voice if I have ever been spanked. I tell not since I was a little girl. He tells me, in that same voice, that I am in for a treat. He is going to be my daddy for the night and he's going to beat my ass for being the bad little girl that I am. I struggle but he lays all his weight on top of me. He starts with his hands. There is nothing gentle about it. He slaps on my ass hard. I fight him. I kick. I scream. He tells me likes my screams and he slaps my ass harder. My ass becomes numbed to his attempts. Its hot. Its on fire. I can picture it being bright red. I don't cry. I don't want him to see me cry. He moves our bodies around so my torso is on the bed, my knees are on the floor. He is directly behind me. His body pushes mine into the bed. He reaches around to the front of me to taunt my breasts more. I can feel his hard cock pressing into my back. He has gotten naked and I never noticed. "You don't think we're done yet, do you," he mocks me. "I'm going to beat your ass so bad you wont be able to sit down for a week. You think being a whore is worth all that? You are going to have bruises that every john that buys you is going to see...and then I'm going to fuck you. I'm going to fuck you like you haven't been fucked in a year." I'm terrified. I have no means of escape, and even if I did, he bought and paid for me. I lost my right to refuse. My ethics, screwed up as they may be,
We agreed before we entered the room. I am his to with as he pleases for now. He gave me his word. No bruises to the face. No broken bones. No homicide. Okay, sure, he could have lied but I've seen his type before. He just gets off on the power exchange. Probably has a ballbuster of a wife at home and he wants to do to me all the things he would like to do to her.
He steps back from me. My breathing comes easier now, but not for long. He grabs me by my hair and pulls me backwards. I open my mouth to hollar out in surprise just in time for him to shove his cock back in my mouth. Still holding my hair, he fucks my mouth fast and hard. I don't have time to prepare and I gag. It doesn't stop him. He doesn't stop until he is ready to stop. When he finally does, he drags me around by my hair. He goes back to the bed. He sits and pulls me over his lap. He is scolding me the entire time but too much is going on for me to comprehend what he's talking about. He is angry. My body is laying across his legs. He has one leg over my legs and one leg under. He takes the arm of mine farthest from his body by the wrist. He holds the wrist at the lower arch of my back. He starts to spank my ass hard again with his open palm. I can't move. He has me completely restrained. After about 20 spanks, he stops. "You like that, don't you bitch. You know you deserve it." He rubs my ass gently. His fingers probe between my legs. "Just as I thought," he muses. "Like a fountain down here. You really do like it, don't you," I don't say anything. I feel my asscheeks being pried apart. "You want some of this?" he teases as his finger probes my anus. I tense up. "Oh yeah baby, keep that up and make me a really happy man." He forces his finger into my dry ass. He fingerfucks my ass. It hurts. He wants it to hurt. When he pulls his finger from my ass, it hurts just as much as it did going in. He starts beating my ass again, but now he has something he is using to beat my ass with. It hurts like crazy. He tells me his hand has gotten sore from trying to beat the badness out of me. He doesn't tell me what it is he is using. I don't find out until much later that it was a wooden hairbrush...something convenient that he found in the room...or maybe he brought it with him. I feel like the skin on my ass is going to explode. I try to wriggle away. He has me almost completely restrained by his body. The harder I fight, the harder he spanks. He doesn't do it slowly. Its one smack after another. The pain doesn't get any easier but I start to feel myself slip into that other place...you know the place. The place where all subs go. He goes on beating my ass but slowly, I stop fighting. I know there will be big ugly bruises tomorrow. I'll be surprised if there aren't bruises later that night. I become like a ragdoll laying across lap. Before I know it, he pushes me off his lap, in between his legs. His cock is rock hard. He orders me to suck it, which I do with ferver. He watches me. I feel his cock getting even harder, swelling. Before he can come, he pulls me off his cock and throws me back on the bed, face down again. He climbs on top of me from behind. I feel his fingers probing at my ass again. He pries open my asscheeks again but this time he lubricates...not a lot...just enough to ease the entry. I feel his cock urging its way between my cheeks. I get up on my knees, ass up, head down. His cock finds its target. Once he realizes he is where he wants to be, he shoves his hips forward. I cry out. He buries his cock all the way until his pelvis meets my ass. The entry is not unexpected but painful nonetheless. It takes my breath completely away. My head comes up off the bed but he shoves it back down. He uses my breasts like they are handles. The harder he squeezes each tit, the stronger the strokes into my ass. He mutters things while fucks me but I pay attention. My hand wanders to my clit. He fucks my ass hard and painfully but as I find just the right spot on my clit, the pain starts to subside. My asscheeks are burning and sore from the beating. The fucking is good once I get past the pain. Its a brutal session but my clit responds. As hard as this stranger pounds is as hard as I rub my clit. I feel his arousal increasing and mine rises to meet his. I know when he is about to come. I feel my own orgasm nearing. As I feel his cock begin to blast his load inside my ass, my own orgasm is triggered. I hear this strange man screaming to God things I have never heard before as my orgasm thunders through my body.

Oh yeah. Okay, my $5 Whore fantasy varies, sometimes rough, sometimes not, but my fantasies are almost always rough. Sometimes they include more than just one person. I have voyeur and exhibitionist fantasies too. Sometimes the idea of having someone in the room watching me get my ass spanked hard is quite the turn on. Sometimes watching someone else get her ass beaten is a really hot fantasy.

The Escort

The next variation to it is the Escort Service. No streetwalking. Safer environment. Cleaner environment and cleaner clientele. A better idea of what is expected from the very beginning.

Much as I hate to do this...I'm going to let my readers think about where these fantasies go from here. Its really late in my little corner of the world and I'm very tired, so I will pursue the The Escort Service and the Callgirl later this week. Feel free to share any variations you may have. I am always looking for new fodder to masturbate to.

The Saga Continues

I don't know about anyone else, but the one thing I really hate about the cane (so far) are the stray swacks...and the ones that decide to loop around the hips. I don't care for that stinging pain on the hipside. In fact, I pretty well cave on that one. Thighs are the same way. Let one of the rattan devils decide to ride low and I turn into a little bitty ball covering all that may need to be covered until the initial pain abates. I have more pictures but as you can see from these pictures, I encountered a few of those. Now, I know any bottom can understand this, but it was my stupid idea to throw the cane in as an implement for the night. I was really just wanting to try out, in a real kind of way, the new paddles. Stingy little boogers, those are, but thats beside the point. Honey really REALLY likes the cane. I think it must be a phallic thing (I'll pay for that comment later, I'm sure). Honey has read my blog. Honey has seen my favorite spanking movies. Honey knows that I really want those deep marks you see on the videos. Honey also knows I am not really into drawing blood when we play so when you think about it, I think he really has his work cut out for him.


Obviously, says the sensible part of my brain, you have been watching way too movies and should probably lay off the sado-masochism before you make yourself really sorry. That, however, is not to be. Instead, I found myself subscribing to yet another spanking site this past week. "Her First Punishment" is my newest fascination. Even as I type this, I am downloading a seriously vicious, deviant, savage spanking video...and I can't wait to see how close I can get to having the same thing done to me.



(I feel the need to interject at this moment that I am SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO) glad Blogger saves drafts automatically or I would have wiped out this blog by accident. Nothing will make me quit writing faster than accidentally deleting a blog that I have been working on)



So, Honey and I had been talking extensively about our next playtime, but it wasn't really working out for us to actually have a playtime. It was becoming very depressing. Honey and I were finally able to find ourselves in the home alone, time on our hands, and both in the mood. Anybody who reads my blogs very often knows that I am a HUGE fan of paddles. I wanted my newest buy to be tried out in the truest fashion. I bought THREE lexan paddles with holes. Well, they said they were lexan. And they may be but they feel way more like acrylic. They are light and stingy. One is a kind of pocket paddle. Small, transportable, I guess like a cheek to cheek paddle (pictures to be posted soon). The second one is a respectably sized paddle, with holes, probably best not used for close proximity spanking but more like for punishment It is the kind of paddle that you stand or kneel in front of your spanker and he whacks on you at about arms length away. I think this is Honey's favorite of the three. The third one...I surely must have lost my mind. Its a frat sized paddle, with holes. I like the holes. I know its supposed to make it hurt more, but I like them. This sucker is way longer than it is sensible and Honey says he is actually afraid its going to break around the handle area, so he hasn't used it a lot. Honey likes big paddles (think Bruiser) when it comes to my ass but I think this one actually makes him a little uncomfortable. He likes to think he can beat my ass as hard as he wants without his implements breaking. I'm thinking: if it breaks, maybe he was being a little too rough with my ass. He's not convinced.

Honey and I actually have much fun when playtime comes around. He has such a way of pushing me farther and farther. I have a decent pain tolerance most of the time. We started with the cane. Honey doesn't believe in spanking over clothes so we both got naked and he told me the position he wanted me in...doggystyle, pillows supporting me. Totally accessible. We had agreed that Honey would be doing some serious-type wailing on me and he certainly showed me that he isn't afraid to wield a cane. 25 strokes in all. That was my count anyway. 25 cane strokes, none of them on the light, lets-just-play-around side. Each and every one swished through the air audibly. Each and every one left top and bottom cane marks. Each and every one turned Honey on more and more. He gave me little breaks. They weren't one stroke on top of the other for the full 25. He swatted my ass a few times then would take the time to let the burn cool down some. About every ten strokes, he stopped to give me pleasure as well. Honey took full advantage of the parts that were accessible to him. He would bring my passions up to boiling point and then reposition for more spanking. Honey knows now that crying out in pain doesn't mean stop. It means give me a second. Honey knows that way to push me into longer and heavier play is to arouse me sexually as well as painfully. I do so like the two together (so does Honey, by the way, but in different ways than I do). 25 hard cane strokes that I took before we changed implements and I was as sexually aroused as a woman can be...and ready for more.



We moved on to the leather strap. Once my ass is fired up, the leather strap, no matter how hard Honey swings it, turns into a gentle massage. My silly self once thought it was just that unimpressive as a tool of torture and let Honey wield it a few times OVER clothing for fun. I was shocked at how much it hurt. Now I know...its the headspace. I can tell Honey is swinging hard when we are in playtime but it doesn't hurt. I like it. I stick my ass out for more. It brings a nice heat to the action. I was in the mood for more painful play than a strap. I told Honey when we first got started "If you don't bruise me tonight, I will never let you spank me again." Honey took this to heart. He certainly did his best to comply with my wishes.

Once Honey felt he had sufficiently strapped my ass, he came around to the front of me. His cock was so hard. I opened my mouth and he proceeded to fuck my face just the way I like it...hard, deep, breathtaking...it makes my ass tingle for more punishment...it makes the rest of my body crave more of his cock. He held my face while he pumped his cock back and forth in my mouth. He would slow only to go deeper into my throat. He pushed his cock as far back into my throat as he could. His pelvis rubbed my face. I couldn't speak. I could feel Honey getting more and more aroused. I could feel his orgasm building. I wanted it. I wanted him to come in my throat. I wanted him to shove his cock down my throat and come. I was as aroused as he was...but he didn't. He pulled his cock away from me when he couldn't hold off any longer and went back to beating my ass.

I was glad.

Granted this is not the best shot to see it, but our playtime picked up again with the paddles I had so wanted to try out...and the trusty wooden holey paddle. Everything with holes. I had challenged him to leave the markings of the holes on my ass. If you look closely, you will see that he succeeded. I don't know how many swats I took. I don't know how long Honey paddled my ass. I didn't count. I just reveled in the pain. Honey would spank me hard...very hard...and then go down on me. Then he would change implements and do it again. Over and over, with each of the new toys, always ending with Honey going down on me hungrily. My ass was beaten so well. My arousal got steadily more intense as Honey spanked. Finally, when Honey was satisfied with his work, when I felt the heat radiating from my ass so much I thought I would lose my mind, Honey filled my ass with his cock. The lovemaking was passionate, it was hungry, it was overwhelming. It didn't last that long. We were both too aroused for it to last very long. Honey fucked my ass hard and I was in a world of bright lights and fireworks between the stinging, the heat, the pain, the passion...my body was on total overload. My orgasm started in my feet, swept to the top of my head and back down again. It was a long, exhausting orgasm. It was EXACTLY as the session should have ended...with both of us exhausted, breathless and completely satisfied.

The after pictures, you ask....well, there aren't any pictures of my bruises because, if you can believe it, the bruises that I ended up with were so light they would never show up in a picture. I was SO disappointed, I can't even begin to tell you. Honey says he will have to start hitting harder. I'm thinking he hit plenty hard. My very well spanked ass looked at its best within the hour of having stopped. There was bruising. In fact, both cheeks were bruised, but I had to be in just the right light for it to be seen. OH! And my latest stupid move. The 3 paddles weren't good enough for this masochist. I had to buy Honey a "sample" pack of canes. Had I realized how thick they were going to be, I most likely wouldn't have done it but since I did, well, you know Honey just can't WAIT to try them on my bare bottom. And I'm sure he will in the next couple of days. I did tell him, however, that he would have to use just one cane per session or we wouldn't be able to tell what they did. He agree...thankfully for me.

The Last Big Day

After all the waiting, the ungodly horniness, the cravings for some REAL contact, I got my wish...IN SPADES! I have decided to do things a little different today. There is so much for me to say that I don't want to miss anything, but I have such a short attention span these days, I decided it would be interesting to give a little at a time. I will be updating my blog off and on today and if I don't finish my story, perhaps it will carry into tomorrow. I'm just going to start for now

I have been wanting Honey to really...there are a gazillion words that would fit here but they all sound callous...beat me....no, don't like the sound of it...wear my ass out...true but still kind of coarse sounding...wail the skin off my ass...YYOUCH!!!!!!!!!! Once again, true, but just doesn't sound right.
Okay, how about this. I needed to be entertained in the roughest fashion comfortable to man or woman. Yeah, that sounds nice, doesn't it?
The truth is, I wanted Honey to beat my ass black and blue. I don't know why. I know it sounds like I always ask that question but really, especially in the throes of it, I could care less why. He likes it, I like it...it works. This was probably one of the most severe encounters we have had and I loved it. We kept getting interrupted unfortunately or it probably would have been even more severe...and I certainly wouldn't have minded that at all...but as it turns out, it was GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
This first picture...oh yeah, that was just the beginning.

More Fantasy

I don't know what is going on with me and Honey for sure. Well, actually I do. We aren't being as physical as we were not all that long ago. A lot of changes and just basic crap has been going on for both of us. I had surgery, he is looking at surgery, I may be having more surgery, my mom is having surgery and oh...I'll bet I didn't mention this. After almost two decades of employment at the same location, with the same organization, I have quit my job. That has got to put a strain on my Honey but he encouraged me to do it. Unfortunately, he and I used to work together. Its how we met and fell in love. Now we don't work together and I think it is making work all the more difficult for Honey to handle. I know he is in a lot of pain. We don't have all the injuries worked out yet, but its in the works. We hope to have him fixed in less time than it took to get mine worked out. And I'll be able to be home with him while he is getting fixed. I think he is afraid to touch me since my surgery, too. I know he is afraid to be as aggressive as I actually like. Whether its regular fucking, throat fucking, anal fucking or spanking, I tend to like it on the extreme side. I think I have probably mentioned that once or twice before. Well, with Honey being afraid to touch, we haven't been doing a lot of anything...but I have had a really rich fantasy life as of recent.

My latest was inspired by the famous Oriental rape scene. Don't ask me which one. It was all over the "hurt me please" websites last week. It shows a beautiful Oriental woman with her breasts hanging out of her Kimono. Her legs are bound to a spreader bar (although it probably was just called a stick) but its not the way we are most accustomed to. The bar didn't go between her ankles. Her ankles are bound so the bar is actually behind her and her ankles are bound forward. It looks very interesting. It leaves a girl awfully open for anything a slightly sadistic man might want to do to a helpless, slightly masochistic girl. My fantasy is a little different:

I see myself being bound. Something Honey and I haven't really been able to play with much the last few years because it became too painful...and not in a good way. That has been surgically corrected. There are still some things that need to get fixed before I can hand full out bondage but I think this one would work. First, my wrists are bound to the headboard. Let me say this is not my favorite idea because I am such a fan of masturbation...in fact, most of my sexual life I have masturbated at least 3 or 4 times a day. I like to have my clit stimulated...what can I say. After my hands are bound, a spreader bar is placed behind my knees. The spreader bar is then bound to the headboard. This would leave my body almost completely folded in half, me absolutely unable to move in any "guarding" kind of way, and leave all of Honey's favorite spots open and available. After Honey finishes securing the spreader bar to the headboard, he shoves two fingers into my pussy. "As I figured," he whispers gruffly to me. I am completely wet. He trails his fingers to my anus. Gently, he applies pressure as he massages. I can feel myself open up, inviting him in. He slips a finger in, but only to the first knuckle. Just a tease. "Ready, are you?" he teases me. I am. I am completely at his mercy. And I'm so ready to be fucked.

"Not yet. You have to earn your pleasures today," He says to me. Butterflies are going crazy inside my stomach. Anything. Anything he wants is fine with me, as long as he takes care of the raging horniness. His hands massage my buttcheeks. "Oh yeah...you have a long way to go before I fuck you," he continues to tease. SMACK! He uses his open hand to slap my ass. It makes way more noise than cause pain. Still, it makes me jump. That is when I realize I have been holding my breath. Playtime has begun. He rains down handslaps on my ass, making it a bright red. I jerk with each and every one. They didn't hurt in the beginning but the continued slapping begins to sting. I stay silent. The slaps are echoing in my ears. After a good 3 minute handspanking, Honey decides that isn't doing the trick.

He moves on. The plastic brush is next. The plastic brush is one of my favorites. Honey can really wail away on my ass with that one. It stings but it is most tolerable and leaves quite a nice glow. Honey, of course, knows all this. In my very bound (did I mention naked?) state, I cannot relieve the tingling that has begun in my nether regions. Honey lays his triceps across the back of my legs and holds my legs tight against my body with his body and arm. He has a perfect target...my ass...in all its glory. He rubs the plastic across my ass. My breathing comes in short gasps. The first swat echos in the room. It stings. He bring the brush down again, this time on the other side. He starts bringing the brush down over and over, from cheek to cheek. I couldn't count if I wanted to. Honey is really getting into the nonstop swatting action. He doesn't stop until his arm gets tired. I wriggle under his weight. It doesn't hurt so much as sting. I can feel the redness growing. When he finally tires, some 100 swats later, he drops the brush and rubs my ass. "MMmmmmmmm...you should feel this. Your bottom is getting quite warm." Then he checks my womanhood. "Oh, I see you already know. You are soooooooo wet. I'll bet you'd like to be fucked right about now, wouldn't you?" All I can do is moan. He is right. I am so turned on I can't speak. I feel like a puddle of lust. Honey shoves 3 fingers in my twat and pumps them back and forth. It almost relieves the aching, but not quite. He laughs at my responding to his manipulations. "You are such a slut." He slips one finger into my anal passage. It completely takes my breath away. He laughs again. "I know you like that, slut." And he takes it away. "You want to see how much I like this?" he asks me, but he doesn't wait for an answer. He straddles my face. His cock is hard. "Open up." I do, gladly. I opened my mouth wide. He slides his cock into mouth gently at first. "See how hard I am for you?" He asks me. I cannot respond. "Spanking your ass makes me hard. I love to see your ass turn red. I love to see you try to wiggle away." He continues to talk to me while he strokes his cock in and out of my mouth, every stroke reaching to the back of my throat. Each stroke back causing my passions to rise and my throat to relax. Each stroke goes a little deeper into my throat. Honey takes hold of my head and seriously fucks my face. He pulls my head to him as his shoves his cock deeper and deeper with each stroke. I can feel his climax nearing. I hold my mouth open as much as I can to Honey's fucking. At times I can't breathe. I have to concentrate hard not to choke. I want to be fucked so much and I don't care where. "You want your ass fucked, don't you Baby" Honey taunts. As much as I can, I mutter unh hunh. I want to be fucked every way a woman can be fucked. Honey, keeping his cock securely in my mouth, wets a finger and shoves it full force into my asshole. I almost gag. My concentration is broken for a second. It hurt. It hurt so good. A yelp escapes me but Honey shoves his cock down my throat and cuts off my cry of surprise. He shoves the finger in as far as it will go. He tries to make it go further. My ass is so ready to be penetrated. A finger is good but its not a cock. Honey pulls his cock from my mouth just before he cums. I can hear the battle to keep from cumming in his voice. "Not yet," he spitefully says to me. Honey climbs off and I hear him rummaging. He comes back with a blindfold. "I want you to be surprised" he explains to me. I get nervous. Once Honey is satisfied with the blindfold, he returns to my exposed parts. He stops briefly at my nipples. He teases each one with his tongue and sucks gently. He knows this is mostly not a good feeling for me. He doesn't care. He likes it. Before he completely moves away, he takes both tit's in his hands and squeezes. I do like that.

Honey moves away from body. With the blindfold on, I am relying on my ears to figure out what he is doing. I hear a tube opening. He is getting the KY. I start to tingle all over. I think to myself "FINALLY....he going to fuck me in the ass!" Then I feel Honey. He massages the KY onto and into my asshole. It feels sooo good. He is prepping me for his big cock to make entry. Then I feel something cool...no, not cool...cold. Pressure against my anus. It gives way with little effort. "This is to remind you of what is coming....if you are a good girl." Slowly he eases the foreign object into my ass. I realize as it continues to grow exactly what it is. It is a butt plug. We don't often use the butt plug...I prefer real cock. As it gets to the widest point of the plug, my breath catches. Honey stops the foreward motion. "Relax" Honey whispers to me. "Breathe. You know you can take this. Take it for me. Relax and enjoy it. Its going in one way or the other." I can't stop him. I know my words will fall on deaf ears. He wiggles the plug back and forth, getting my anus accustomed to this strange object. When he thinks I am ready, Honey pushes forward again. It goes a tiny bit farther and then the pain sets in again. "Please Honey," I beg. "I can't. Its too big. It hurts," I plead. Its 3/4's of the way in and still gaining girth. "I told you...it's going in. You can do it without pain if you relax, or you can do it painfully. Its up to you." Honey pushes forward again. I whimper. I try to control my breathing. I concentrate on relaxing my anal muscles to accomodate this huge invader. Our butt plug isn't tiny by any means. Its girth is probably no wider than Honey himself but the unnatural things just don't feel the same. "Please Honey! I can't..." and you shove the plug the rest of the way in. For a second, I think I feel the tissue ripping and then there is relief. The butt plug is in place. "Oh Baby, that is sooooooooo sexy" you coo to me. I can't speak yet. Once in place, the pain ended but the feeling of being completely full stays. I feel my anus loosening and tightening, trying to expel the invader. It stays put. Honey watches for a few seconds in amazement. "Oh Baby...." Honey breathes. "That is just too hot. Oh..." Honey takes my thighs and spreads them as far apart as he can. "Oh I have to fuck you..." You say to me breathlessly. Your cock enters my pussy in one stroke. We are pelvis to pelvis. A cry escapes my lips. There is a moment of excruciating pain as cock and butt plug meet, separated by a thin layer of skin. "Oh God...." Honey gasps, He fucks me hard. He fucks me fast. He keeps hold of thighs the entire time, keeping them spread as far as they will spread. Once again, as he nears orgasm, he pulls himself away from me. My pussy is sopping wet. The feeling of being double-penetrated was both painful and exhillerating. I want more. Suddenly, there is an explosion.

I hear before I realize my ass is on fire. Then another explosion. I feel it this time. Honey lays across the backs of legs again as he assaults my ass with one of the new lexan paddles. I don't know which one it is but it hurts and stings. Lexan has a very unique feel. Ungiving. Unyielding. The holes give it an added sting. Honey doesn't wait between swats. Ten times without pause. I groan with each swat. Honey isnt being gentle. Honey is working toward bruises. His swats are hard. I think my ass is going to explode...and then you stop. There is a moment's pause and then I feel your tongue. Inside my pussy, flicking across my clit, sucking at my clit, teasing my clit, then back inside my pussy. My ass is on fire but all I can think about is how insane with passion Honey is making me.

Before I know what is happening, it starts all over again. I don't realize at first that I am screaming with each swat. Its a different lexan paddle. Once again, Honey is holding my legs against my body. I thrash about but I'm no real threat. I lose count after the fourth swat. I am lost in a world of pain and passion. Honey is spanking me with the butt plug in me. It adds to the pain and the pleasure.

I am becoming just a heaving heap of sensations. After a ruthless spanking, Honey breaks to fuck me again. I can feel my body being pounded by Honey's weight. Honey is fucking me hard. When he pulls away, it is sudden and the pain begins again. Over and over, spanking and fucking, spanking and fucking. I am sweating all over. Still spanking and fucking. I lose track of the different implements. All four of our Lexan paddles, I think the holy wooden paddle, the leather strap, the cane...those are the ones I recognize. After a good, hard caning, pull the butt plug from my ass. It hurts so much more coming out than going in, but I feel empty. Honey takes the opportunity to spank my battered ass with one more implement before he buries his cock up my ass. He holds my legs by the back of my knees and fucks my ass, the two of us face to face, me still blindfolded, hands still tied. My body shakes under the weight. Honey reaches up and unties my right hand. My ass aches...ALL of it. My clit is fully engorged and screaming for relief. My hand goes straight to my clit while Honey continues to plunder my asshole. It doesn't take long before Honey and I are both heaving with oncoming orgasms. Honey starts to come first. His climax and the feel of his cum inside my ass, his pelvis pressing against my burning and beaten ass sets off my own explosive orgasm. We collapse in semi-bound heap, Honey on top of me, both of us trying to regain our breath. Honey removes my blindfold and unbounds the rest of my ties. We lay together and slowly drift off, still holding one another.

The Spanking Game

Since i am such a coward, more often than not, if asked if I want to be spanked (we use "playtime" as a code word) I will invariably say no. Sometimes I mean it. Sometimes its just a panic response. Of course I don't WANT to be spanked. It hurts! Would it have beneficial rewards if we did? Most likely. I liked what Nikki Flynn had to say about spanking, in particular severe spankings. This is a near quote, maybe even an exact one but it went something like this "Do I like pain? Of course not. Its not the BEING spanked I like. Its the after effects." I love THINKING about being spanked. I like fantasizing about being spanked. I like all the things that come after...the bruising, the soreness, the feeling that I have a secret that is only shared by me and Honey. I like that it makes me horny thinking about being handled by Honey, ass in the air, while he reigns down blow after blow of....well, anything. His hand, a paddle, a cane...anything that will leave my ass red and owey.

Now that I have established I am a coward that enjoys THINKING about being spanked far more than I like being spanked (until after the deed is done) I have come up with a plan. A solution for Honey and myself. In my fantasy world, I get spanked everyday. However, if a lady is to be spanked everyday, it takes the specialness out of it. And it becomes routine. To avoid something as special as an ass beating becoming routine, I propose a game. Honey and I have many many many many spanking implements. Each has been used and each has its time, some more often than others, some more heartily than others. I propose we make up two or three bowls with little slips of paper in them. One bowl contains the name of ALL of our spanking implements, including belts and wooden spoons (so much fun with things around the house).

In another bowl, we could put numbers 1 -15...maybe higher. That would be the number of times my ass was to become intimately introduced to the particular implement drawn from blow #1.

Bowl #3 would be optional. It would have positions. Since Honey and I are usually in agreement about positions, i dont see this as a necessity, even for a coward like me, but it might prove interesting. I know I HATE to do that "touching toes" thing. It makes me feel silly, seems impersonal and hurts like hell....so bowl #3 has possibilities. Perhaps we could use it "on special occasions"....like when we are having an indecisive day.

As I write this, Honey and I are awaiting the newest of implements that I felt the need to buy. Its seems the more pain and bruising potential, the more I want the implement...but then when it gets here, I don't want to use it. Such is life I guess. If I buy them, Honey makes sure they get used at least every once in a while. Just goes to prove that old addage, be careful of what you ask for for you may surely get it. Actually, I think it gives new meaning to the addage. When the new toys get here, I know my ass is in for it because I have made Honey hold off on doing anything until they do get here. The Coward in me is freaking just slightly because there are 3! Yes, I did say 3! new and painful toys headed my way and I know Honey will want to try them out to their fullest extent when they get here, which is only fitting. My ass, however, may disagree by the end of the week.

Uniform Fantasy

Honey knows most of my fantasies. I am going to share one with him now that he is not aware of...and I hope others will enjoy it as well. If anyone actually acts this out, or something similar, or just wants to share a fantasy with me (and one that perhaps Honey and I could act out)I would love to hear about it.


Its the uniform. Any uniform will do it. Women (and men) all over the word know what I am talking about. Its the image of authority. The policeman. The general. The warden. I fantasize still about being spanked every day, sometimes a gentle spanking, sometimes a more frantic spanking. This is the way this fantasy runs:

I start out by preparing my "costume" while you are gone. I know that because of the nature of your job, you have the ability to "drop in" periodically thoughout your workday. I never know when that will be. I never know how often. I shower and find my best subtle hint clothing...(did I mention that I finally got the spanking pantaloons that I wanted? A very nice reader sent me a very nice message about where she got hers. I still had her message up while I was ordering them. They arrived in record time. I was absolutely thrilled. Honey and I have tried them out already and I meant to blog about it but honestly, things have been a little hectic around the house.) I put them on with the hopes that I won't have to verbalize what I want from you. I put my hair in pigtail braids while it is still wet as I know you love to see when I am in a spanking mood. I find a nice chemise to wear over my pantaloons so you can have easy access to my bottom and my womanly parts but I don't have to worry about being embarassed if someone other than Honey drops by. I find just the implements. There are so many to choose from these days...and more on the way....I don't really feel like a "bruise my ass" spanking...I just want to be spanked hard enough to feel it until the next time you can "drop by." I decide to leave different implements around various parts of the house. At the end of the day, I have big plans but this is just foreplay. I leave the dogleg brush and the plastic hairbrush in the living room. I am hoping you will saunter in in your uniform, recognize my clothing and hair for what it is, find the implements and take me into your hands...or should I say over your knee...and introduce my bottom to the first of what I hope will be several spankings throughout the day. I want you, in your uniform, to lay me across one leg while you hold my legs down with the other. I want you to be prepared to take hold of my wrist if I try to shield my bottom from you. I want to be taken by you.

The single thing I don't think I have ever told you, even after all these years of being together, is that I chose you as my lifemate because you are the only man I have ever known who could dominate me...not just in the bedroom, but physically and emotionally, you are stronger than I am...and I find that oh so sexy. This part I have told you. You make me feel secure. You make me feel safe. When you are questioning whether I trust you or not (during our aggressive foreplay or in life in general), rest assured....you have my utter and total trust and faith. If this were not the case, I wouldn't be able to share all my deep, dark secrets with you. I certainly would not have been able to share my fantasies with you. And I would NEVER allow someone I didn't trust to put me over their knee in such a vulnerable position. I trust you with my bottom, I trust you with my body, I trust you with my life.

I leave the two brushes on your little table in the living room and I settle in at my laptop to "get in the mood" by reading blogs and watching videos...waiting for you to come in. I start to lose hope that you are getting the chance to come by at all when I hear your car drive up. I get butterflies. I have a brief, fleeting thought about hiding the brushes but I realize it really wouldn't do any good since all of me and my look at the moment is screaming for a spanking. You open the door and holler "Honey? " I call to you from the living room but with no hint in my voice at what you are going to find. You enter with a big smile on your face that only gets broader and brighter as you take in the site of me...and then the brushes. "Whats this, little girl" you say in a teasing voice. "My brush" I reply to you in the most innocent, childlike voice I can muster. "Is someone having ideas?" you query. "Maybe...." I answer, suddenly losing my nerve. You sit at your usual spot and eye the brushes. "Are you thinking you need BOTH of these to be used?" you ask me. All I can do is look at you wordlessly. Suddenly, I don't know what I want. The butterflies in my stomach increase. "If you don't tell me what you want, it will be my choice," you warn me. "I just wanted..." and I falter. "Yes?" you say to me. "I don't have all day. Get over here. Obviously, you are in need of a little attention." I walk over to you hesitantly. You show me your lap. "Come on...." you tell. "I don't have all day." I look at your lap uncertainly. I take a deep breath and remind myself that I am the one that started this. As I start to lay myself over your leg, I tell you "I was thinking a little spanking off and on today might be nice?" It comes out as a question. Ten minutes before I couldn't wait for you to come home and start the spanking. Now that you are here, I feel fear taking me. You position me over your leg so my waist is on your leg, my top half hanging over so I can reach the floor. You place your free leg over my legs, as I have told you I want you to do. I usually want this when I want a hard spanking but you have chosen to do this all the time so I don't freak at the last minute before a spanking. If I never know if its going to be a hard spanking or a little spanking, I won't fight nearly as much. Its my flight or fight syndrome that works on impulse. I have no control over it. You know that though because you know me so well.

Once you have me situated, you raise my chemise. You move the opening in the pantaloons to either side. It feels like a curtain opening on "Let's Make a Deal." "Mmmmmmmmmm" I feel the rumble rather than hear the sound as you rub your hand across my now bared bottom. I get goosebumps. No matter how big or how small my ass gets, you let me know you enjoy it. "So my Baby thinks she needs a spanking...." you taunt me as your hand rubs back and forth across the surface of my pristine ass. It has been too long since we played spanking games. I can't say anything. My head is in that space between "Beat me hard..." and "What the hell was I thinking?" "Just a little spanking, you said..." you continue to taunt me. I find some semblence of my voice. "Yes," I squeak out. "I don't know," you tease. "Seems to me when a little girl asks for a spanking, she should get exactly what she asks for..." I tense up. Then I feel something cool on my ass. Honey is oh so fond of rubbing the implements on my ass before using them. I think I recognize this one but I'm not positive. The two hairbrushes feel very much alike when they are being rubbed against my skin. "I think I can oblige you," Honey says as I feel his arm preparing to start reigning down blows. I forget to breathe. I hear the first impact before I actually feel it. It makes a loud crashing noise throughout the empty house. Then the sting starts. Its the plastic hairbrush. This is one of my all-time favorites in those times when I want to be spanked but I don't want to be seriously hurt...those times when I want to be spanked hard but I don't want it to leave long lasting bruises. I like bruises...but there are times that my bottom is almost a public display and I would hate to have to explain bruising. I am a serious closet spanko (unless that one couple really found this site, in which case I only think I am closet spanko, but I don't think they would share my secret for obvious reasons....but I digress) and I'm not any hurry to come out of the closet. Honey has chosen the perfect implement. The plastic brush. He proceeds to spank my bottom, first one cheek, then the other, back and forth. He gets to around twenty swats and stops. "Is this what you were wanting, Baby?" Honey asks me. I shake my head yes because I can't respond verbally. My words have all dried up. I can feel the warmth, gently, on the surface of my bottom. I can feel an equal amount of warmth starting between my legs. I haven't figured out exactly what the connection is between the pain in my ass and the wetness of my womanhood (and many many many others that I have read about...enough to make me think it happens to all women), but I get incredibly wet when I'm spanked, even when I'm not enjoying the spanking. Honey inspects the color of my cheeks. They have become a nice, pretty pinkish color. "Do you want more?" Honey asks me. In my mind, there is a war of voices, one saying yes, please, the other saying no thank you. "Silly question....." Honey answers himself. "I can tell by looking at your ass that you need more." The plastic brush has been a nice, slightly stingy sensation. Only the slightest bit painful. More of an irritation. With the first WHACK, I can tell this second round is not going to be so pleasant. As Honey begins to warm up my bottom, he fills my ears with his plans "That was just a little warm up, Baby. So is this." Honey has moved on to the wooden, dogleg brush. What a silly girl I was to bring out that one. The blows are heavier, the wooden paddle is more treacherous. The dogleg brush thuds each time it makes contact with my bottom. The leg that Honey was using to hold my legs down was only for show with the plastic brush. With this brush, my legs try to kick, I try to squirm, but Honey holds me mostly in place until he decides to let me up. He has leveled a solid twenty more swats before he breaks. "Okay...I think that should do you for the moment," Honey tells me as he helps me back to feet. Instinctively, my hands cup my achy behind. I can feel heat coming from the cheeks. There is a dull ache on each side. "Let me see" Honey instructs me now that I am standing. I turn around and lift my chemise so he can make a visual inspection. "Not too bad....for now," Honey says, obviously proud of his work. I am now as amorous as a girl can get but Honey is working, so we cannot engage in our marital benefits. Instead, I collapse between your knees. Your hands go immediately to my breasts and begin a rough massage, just the way I like it, as I unbutton and unzip your pants. I proceed to show you how grateful I am by worshipping your cock. I use it like a lollipop, licking each and every bit I can reach before taking you into my mouth. I bob up and down briefly before you stop me, afraid that I might hurt myself. You take over the motion, which turns me on even more. You slide off your couch to a standing position while I kneel in front of you. You fuck my mouth slowly, gently. Your cock slides easily across my tongue and down my throat. You push your cock against the back of my throat as far as you can. I have to concentrate hard not to gag. You hold your cock in my throat, I swallow, you moan. The pace picks up little by little until I can feel your orgasm drawing near. You are so careful with me, so careful not to hurt me. I really want you to fuck my mouth like you used to but I know we can't do that yet. I hold my mouth open for you to fuck as deep as you want. As you get close to climax, you pull your cock out of my mouth and jack off in front of me. My mouth is open, waiting. When you start to come, I let you come where ever you want to start and then I wrap my lips around you to accept the rest. I continue to lick until your orgasm passes. You drop back onto your couch and I move in between your legs for an afterglow embrace.

"Wait til I get home tonight" you promise me. "Then we are really going to have some fun. Until then, I will drop in when I can. Be ready. If you don't have anything picked out when I get here, its MY choice," you warn me. After your breath slows and your senses return, you get ready to leave again. I have a full day waiting for me...and I can't wait!

Oh What Fun

Honey and I are trying to make sure that we get in all the playtime we can before I become incapacitated, temporarily out of commission, unavailable for use. Unfortunately, it seems Honey and I are passing some serious cold, throat, fever, feeling yucky crap back and forth and it most certainly kills the mood...well, mostly kills the mood.

It was actually pretty funny. While at work, I was reading a book. I have the luxury of doing that on some days even though I have a very busy, very high-stress job. There are lulls. I was deeply engrossed in this book, my favorite way to read (one of my favorite sayings about books is that books are like a favorite dish. You should be able to savor every morsel and completely ravage every page. Hubby and I can't share paperbooks because he hates having the spine broken and I think it should be completely broken if you really enjoy it). I had the perfect little "in the space" thing going. I mean, I was there. I was a part of the action going on in the book. I was one of the character. Then suddenly I got an overlay movie. It is the best way I can describe it. It was like having two movies playing on a screen, one on top of the other. It was an amazing sight. I could see Honey playing very rough with me. I mean very rough. It started with me leaning up against our headboard, Honey in front of me, fucking my mouth. My hands were tied to the headboard, and he was holding on, hands on either side of my head, varying back and forth between gently fucking my mouth, sliding his cock slowly and gently as far as it would go to roughly, passionately fucking my mouth, bringing himself to the verge of orgasm before suddenly pulling his cock completely from my mouth.

I had to stop several times in my reading to re-establish where I was and what I was doing. Then I would start reading again. The next time I was heavily engrossed in my book, suddenly I had visions of being dragged across Honey's lap, having my bottom beaten into shades of red I have never seen before. I was kicking and fighting and he was holding, spanking me with sometimes with a paddle, sometimes with a hairbrush, telling me to quit fighting, which of course I couldn't do. He swatted a few times, then told me to quit kicking, swatted a few more times, told me to quit fighting, swatting a few more times...it was really hot....

And I had to shake my head to clear it again.

Finally I decided to write it down to give to Honey for his reading enjoyment when he found himself bored at work. He loves when I write things like for him and I write them often. I was just really getting into the writing, it was really getting into the great details that Honey so enjoys (if there is one thing I write well, its porn) when I got interrupted for a day of crap at work. It was a really bad day.

When I got home, it seemed Honey and I had the same ideas. It took us a while to get around to it but boy oh boy did we have fun. We did, in fact, start out with Honey fucking my mouth. He likes to try to gag me...I don't gag easily. He fucked my mouth for quite some time and both of us were heaving passion pits when he finally withdrew himself from my face. He asked me if I wanted to lay across his lap or be in doggie style. I told him it was entirely up to him. He chose doggie style. I know some of the things he used but I'm not sure about all. He made me extremely comfortable even though he tied one wrist to my thigh and the other to the headboard. Then he proceeded to use a wide array of implements on my ass. He started out somewhat gently (depending on your definition of gentle). I know I felt a wooden paddle with holes, a wooden paddle without holes, a hairbrush though I don't know which one...the wood one I think because the other one has more spring to it. There was a cane. He loves cane welts but after a while, you lose the ability to see the stripes and can only see red ass. I believe I felt a lexan paddle (far preferrable to a lexan cane, by the way) and a couple of different straps. I generally like leather straps. I generally like them a lot. Anyway, once Honey got started, he kept going for a long time. I lost count. He lost count. He finally got to the point where he just wanted to hear me make noise. Once subspace kicks in (I think that's what it is anyway), I quit making noise...period. I told him those are the times he should take advantage of the situation because he can do just about anything and as hard as he wants and I'm not going try to stop him. For all the pounding he did on my ass, you would really think it would look much worse, but here's a little example.



Usually we give my ass a break after a night like that. We did some serious spanking, whaling and fucking...you know, the kind that makes you sore the next day. If my Love is going to wail away on my ass, I fully expect to feel it for a day or two when I sit down. He did a pretty good job too. We like to take pictures in the middle, at the end and then the next day or two. Well, the non-red ass is at about the 24 hour mark. Nice bruises but nothing too extreme...some tell-tale signs of wear and tear (pun intended).
But later that evening, you know, like the 26 hour mark, Honey decided we could do better. I won't say he "wailed away" on my ass on the second day but approximately 30 swats he landed on my ass, I think he used a wooden paddle with holes, the leather strap (always good for a nice rosy shine) and Bruiser, which I was none too happy about, we of course had to consummate the foreplay. FINALLY, I got Honey, the camera and me all in the same vicinity and now I have some really dirty shots. Honey got to be the camera man since he is the Dom and I am the sub....and my back was to him the whole time. I have all kinds of sweet, smutty pictures that make me horny just looking at them. These are pictures I have wanted for quite some time. Of course, they are for me and Honey and no one else, but I can't tell you how much I love to see what he was doing to me. Its just soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo hott! Honey really does take full advantage of all of my body parts.
Some day I'm going to get brave enough to let Honey really do what he wants...all of what he wants (except nipple clamps...long story but they are completely intolerable to me). I look forward to the day that we are by ourselves in our house and he decides to spank me "the way he really wants to..." He has a thing about making me cry. I don't think its possible. I guess its a challenge. Either way, I want him to be able to smack around on my ass and my give vocal appreciation, or disapproval (same thing really) without fear of who may hear. I think it will certainly add something to the experience.

For those of you that have ever seen the lupus pictures, when they cane a girl, her ass turns black in the cane stripes. I want that. When they paddle a girl, her ass is bruised in ways I have never seen before. I want that too. I really really do look forward to it. I don't know who looks forward to it more...me or Honey. In the meantime, we will have to settle for semi-severe, Lupus pictures and Girls Boarding School to appease those desires.

How do you know?

Does anybody else notice those strange little twinges when your bottom needs attention? With mine, there is an odd stingy feely that starts happening...like its already had attention but it hasn't so it needs it. The real bitch of this is that it usually happens the strongest when Honey isn't home or when he is in bed and I'm not. I'm one of those females that is up for sex more often than not but spanking...well, if you want to know the truth, I'm up for it way more often than I can force myself to admit. Its a lot like when we first started buttfucking (that as crude a word as I can come up with that so wholeheartedly describes the decadent feeling I get from it). I could almost never tell Honey that was what I wanted and a lot of times I didn't even REALIZE that was what I wanted (and just as often needed) until he kind of pressed the issue...or just went ahead and did it whether I wanted him to or not. As it turned out, I always wanted him to, I just didn't always know it until we were in the throes of it and I would be panting and sweating and all these strange sexual animal noises would be floating around the room and I would realize they were ME...and I was loving every second of it. And then the nuclear explosion would happen behind my eyelids from the earth-shattering orgasm I was having! I see our spanking adventures going this way as we speak. I want it was more often than I can admit. I always like it when we do, and although I don't admit it often, I like when he starts out hard. I hate it and I love it. I hate it because it hurts like a sonofabitch. I love it because it leaves me wanting more.

I love when my ass has been attacked so hard that I can feel it for days when I sit down. I love when I can look in the mirror and see something like <--------....that was 4 days later, just before it started going away. I could still feel it that day too. I keep wanting Honey to grab hold of my waist and lay 3 or 4 or 5 really hard whacks across it with some kind of wooden implement (preferrably not Bruiser. I still think that one is dangerous.) Toy says I wouldn't like the thinner lexan cane and she is probably right (she has been about everything else so far) but I think eventually Honey is going to have to have one because I am going to have to have one. Idon't care fothe heavy one at all but its the heavy thud I don't like. I think there is at least hte possibility that I might like the lighter weight one better. I am gaining a greater appreciation for rattan everytime we try it.

Did anybody happen to see any of the recent Girls Boarding School beltings? I am a strap fan. Why? Because after wood, rattan, or Lexan, leather is a gentle massgae...and when applied correctly, it leaves its own pretty little marks. I like for my ass to get really really hot before Honey sticks his cock inside me. Oh man, do I like that. I haven't shared this with him yet (although he'll know it once he reads this) but his idea of hot and my idea of hot are way different. He is getting pretty seriously turned on at about half the temperature I am looking for. I want to feel serious searing. I want to know what my ass looks like even before I go look at it. I like it all toasted up and then fucked. Its just my kinky idea of a good time.

This is an odd show. It is "The Vagina Monologue." THE "Vagina Monologue." A Vagina Monologue. This woman is talking about hair. Well SHE is talking about hair. You have to love hair to love a vagina. Is this true? I am kind of ambivalent about it. I don't like men's scrotum's shaved. I like the hair on a man...even if being hairless does make a penis look bigger. I assure you, no matter what the aesthetics, it isn't going any deeper or any wider. I like the hair on my man. I like it on his chest. I like it around his penis. I like it ON him. I like the way it feels when it rubs. I like it best when it rubs against my very warm, very red bottom. As for my own hair...

I shave. I shave because Honey likes for me to shave. I shave because I have shaved so long now that if I don't shave, I itch. I like the way Honey's hair feels when I am freshly shaved. I like the way Honey's tongue feels when I am freshly shaved.

This is the like the extended version of The Vagina Monologues. I am most disappointed because they did the Vagina Monologues in my hometown and I so very much wanted to audition. I feel sure I would have gotten a part. Let me move on into two more subjects here in reference to the Vagina Monologues before I move back to spanking.

Eve Ensler is the name of the lady doing this show. I am amazed and I'm wondering why nobody ever had the balls (or should that be ovaries) to do this show before? She has just mentioned, and I do mean MENTIONED that in her dealings with many many many women she only met one woman who not been molested...at LEAST molested as a young girl or a young woman. I realize this is not a political forum. It is not meant to be a political forum and I have completely veered from sexy story today to moving into a very political forum but because I know there are at least as women reading my stories as there are men looking at my very bruised ass (by bruised by choice ass) I think I can say this. Eve talks about rape. Rape is a horrible thing and I will talk about that in a moment but for just this moment, just this second, I want to talk about molestion.

I have met two women in my lifetime that claim that were not molested as children. One I am sure is lying. I believe she was not only molested but that she was raped by more than one of her brothers. She keeps everything close to the heart, she is in her late 40's, has only had sex a couple of times, does not masturbate (because she says it just makes not having the real thing worse) but she's too uptight to get the real thing....very often. She is in her late 40's, heterosexual and can count the times she has made love on one hand. I think its very sad. She has a heart (and a vagina) that is desperate to give, but has become so enbittered by life and her own insecurities that I don't think she will either have the things she needs most...and I have spent years trying to figure out how to help her open up without realizing that is what is happening to her. I have not succeeded. The other lady that claimed to not have ever been molested...maybe she was, maybe she wasn't. I suspect she was also but I don't know it. It was very strange for me when I started asking woman this question. I don't even know I started asking.. I think it was because of my line of work. I think it was because we had a serial rapist in town at that time. I think its because I am exposed to the stories so often that one would think you would become almost immune to it...but you never do when it involves children. Girls get molested. If you have a daughter, she will probably be molested and no matter how hard you try to keep it from happening, it will probably happen anyway...and if she is lucky, it will only happen once and it will not completely scar her soul forever. It will scar. It will become part of who she is when she grows up. I was molested when I was a little girl. I never told anyone. Eventually, I ventured so far as to admit that I was molested but I never told anyone when, where, how or who...ever. Now here is the really strange part. No one ever asked. How many other women out there are sitting back right now thinking about the having been molested, about the fact that they didn't tell anyone, and that when they did, nobody asked for the details (unless it was a therapist you told.) Is this a bad thing? Probably. I'm not a psychologist or psychiatrist. I am just a woman. Once was commited by someone who should havae known better...by someone who knew that what he was doing was wrong...as did the other men that were in the room. Another time was by inflicted upon me by children. They didn't know better. It had been inflicted upon them and they did not know they were doing anything wrong...or maybe they did since I was taken into a closet but I don't believe any of the children involved were old enough to understand the significance of what was going on.

Then there were the teenage years. I was not raped. Well, I was not raped in the traditional sense. I was never forced to have sex with a male although it came very close. I ran with a rougher crowd for a few years and you would think that I would have learned, and eventually I guess I did because I quit running with that group, but I had "things" shoved inside me more than once, not by choice. I was "rescued" several times. I was very lucky. Some of the other girls that ran in the same crowd were not so lucky. They were raped, some violently and brutally...and I know that as of several years after it happened, the only ones that knew were the very tight crowd that all hung together. I don't even know if the girls considered it rape at the time. I think they mostly considered it stupidity on their part. As an adult now, I can look back and see the post-traumatic responses that they were exhibiting. Even as a young and experienced adult female, I found myself in situations that could easily have been prosecuted as rape, but I prefer to think of as bad judgment. Perhaps that is why after my horrible first marriage to a man that I thought I was so in love with who showed his love for me by beating me up steadily worse over the course of the time we were together...because I just wouldn't understand how much he loved me...that I wasn't so thrilled about the idea of dating again. I didn't really want to get back into that "pool" and swim again. It took my relationship and subsequent marriage to Honey to help me not only understand myself (in ways that he doesn't know he helped me) but realize how incredibly lucky I am that I found one of those patient, loving, gentle (when I want him to be) REAL men in the world that you hear about, that they write fairytales about, that fifteen years ago I would have sworn didn't exist except in my brother and gay men, and not even all gay men. I found the needle in the haystack. Or maybe he found me. I was such the damsel in distress and Honey has always been a knight in shining armor. He knew I was in distress but I think, maybe even now, he doesn't know how desperately in distress I was. So back to our daughters, our sisters, even our mothers, look around you, think about your own life, how many women do you know that have not been molested, not been raped, not been abused? Its hard to be a woman in this world. We are the weaker sex. But are we? Physically, obviously we are. Is there anything that makes you feel more helpless than having a man pick you up against your will and carry you off...to anywhere? Even when they are only being playful with you, it is the moment you realize, as a woman, how vulnerable you really are.

I mentioned my line of work. I said I deal with maladies that befall women more often than I should like....obviouly I am not going to say what my line of business is but having said that much, in contrast to the amount of women that I KNOW have been molested and/or raped in their lifetimes, I can tell you beyond any shadow or doubt that the real ones are seldom, VERY seldom reported. This makes my heart hurt. How are women to truly understand themselves and our world if we never talk about what happens to us? Did you ever report to your parents, your teachers, the police, a counselor, even a friend what happened to you? I know I didn't. Oh, there are a couple of things that I encountered that I talk about...technically rape but in my head stupidity. There are reasons that I would never report these particular instances...one, I felt as responsible for what happened as they were. I wasn't violently forced to have sex. I felt like I had led these men on unintentionally. I was terribly naive. They did not take no for an answer, which I realize makes it TECHNICALLY rape. One, I was so drunk that I vaguely remember saying no before I passed out, but when I woke up I was naked and obviously there had a penis that had ejaculated inside me. That was weird. It is also considered rape in this day and age. My moral and ethical question to myself was and would still be "Could you ruin the rest of a man's life for doing something that he never realized you didn't approve of?" In these cases, the answer was no. There was once or twice that was borderline but I was lucky enough that it never crossed over. As I said, there were those that I knew that there was NO question that the males involved KNEW they were forcing hte female, the female fought, she was absolutely raped. Date rape...tough call...but if you ask me, when a man holds you down to "make love" to you, you have the right to file charges. Do these cases get reported? No. Not often anyway. The ones that get reported are the ones...let me give an example here. A young soldier, fresh out of basic training, 18 years old goes to one of his first parties on one of his very first leaves after basic. It is being thrown by some girls. A pretty young girl makes friendly with this young soldier. They talk and get drunk together. During the course of the conversation, the subject of age comes up. They find out they are both 18 years old. Hey! They have something in common. As they get drunker, they get friendlier. They begin to kiss. The kissing becomes more intimate. The young soldier gets brave and begins to fondle the girl. He starts with her breasts, first over her clothes, then under. As the petting gets more intimate, his hand moves down. He undones her pants. She does not resist. He sticks his hand down her pants. She does not resist. He "fingers" her. For anyone who might not understand, he penetrates her vagina with a finger or two. Since they have been drinking, this is as far as they get before she has to go pee. She goes to the bathroom and there is a small amount of blood. She freaks out. She finds her sister. She tells her sister what has occurred, but the story begins to change. The sister becomes angry and calls the police. When the police get there, the story now goes something along the line of this: Big sister tells the police that she is having a party for some new basic trainees. Most are not old enough to drink but they are drinking anyway. One of these young men got drunk and forced himself on her 15 year old sister. Big sister signs a complaint of rape by instrumentation. The police go looking for the young man, who is still in at the party, still having a good time and has no idea he is in trouble until he is approached by the officers who tell him they are placing him under arrest and advise him of what he is being charged with. The boy is away from his family. The military is not much help to him at this point because it is a criminal charge that occurred off post. He shouldn't have been drinking. This 18 year old boy, who had no idea that he had been being friendly with a 15 year old, not 18 year old girl, ended up pleaded guilty to a single charge of rape by instrumentation (his finger) and will forever more be labeled as a registered sex offender. This is the kind of rape that gets reported. Wives that get caught or afraid they are going to get caught cheating on their husbands. These get reported as rapes. Prostitutes that can't get their money from their customers report this as rape. I'm not talking about prostitutes that have truly been raped. This does happen. If you think the average "real" rape is violent and brutal on an average women, you should see what happens to prostitutes when they really get raped. Its enough to make even the biggest asshole rescind his opinion that prostitutes can't be raped. I assure you, they can.

Now that I have this oh-my-God rant, let me see if I can't bring this back to our spanking topic. Believe it or not, I think I can. Most of us spankos like to be forced to some extent. We like to be hurt to some extent. Im sure there is some psychological answer for it that has something to do with the fact that most women are molested, raped, or otherwise abused as children and/or young women. I'm sure it plays into our psyche and creates our kinky needs and desires. As long as you have found a way to deal with the traumas that befall us as women, who really cares what or why we like it, we do. I don't think that any amount of psychoanalysis is going to change those desires. We may understand them better but I just don't see them going away. My Honey doesn't know EXACTLY what I want out of this spanking thing but neither do I. Its a journey. We didn't know exactly what we wanted out of our sex life either. I never thought I would like to have a man grab hold of my head and fuck my face as hard and deep as he could. I don't think I would like it with anyone but my Honey. But I LOVE it with him. It makes me wet. The only thing I don't like about it is that I have to make a choice between trying to get him to stop to fuck me because it makes me so horny or following my other overwhelming desire which is to have him shove his cock ALL the way down my throat and empty his cum into my mouth and then masturbate. It usually ends up in the latter because I just can't stop until he cums. My excitement rises with his and I WANT him to come in my mouth (the only man who has been allowed to do that as well...he is just altogether special.) I never thought I would like to be fucked really hard, I never thought I would like to have a cock shoved up my ass and pounded so hard it knocked the breath out of me. I DAMN sure never thought I would like cock shoved up my ass without lubrication...but guess what? I do. My very anal sex experience was a bad one. No lubrication, no warning, no warm-up...not nearly enough experience on HIS part. I thought I was going to die, I thought I was going to be split open and I managed to cause they exit of his penis from my ass against his wishes...I took it seriously and seriously in a bad way. I think I had superfemalehuman strength at that moment. Now, some 25 years later, I like it. Do you think there is a correlation? I'm betting there is. This is what I think the future of our spanking adventures has in store, just from passed sexual experience. Honey and I will get to know each others desires and limitations better and better. He is still afraid of hurting me by accident. So am I, for that matter. He still doesn't know my limitations because I don't know my limitations. I know my fantasies are severe. My fantasies are severe enough to scare me. I came across Nikki Flynn. How fortuitous that was for me. She said it best I think. I don't like the pain. I hate it. I don't like being punished (or in my case, spanked because we don't punish). I like the AFTER EFFECTS. I like thinking about it afterward. I like the reminders when I sit down. I like looking in the mirror. I can masturbate to one of our (or watching someone elses) really severe spanking for months upon months, relieving it if it my own experience, putting myself in someone else's place if it is a severe movie I am watching. I look forward to the day that all the kids are out of the house all the time because right now it feels like pressure to play when the kids are out and that takes the fun out of it. I look forward to the day when Honey and I are alone in the house, we are both in the mood and I am free to have him whack on my ass the way he wants to, the way I want him to in my fantasies and I can make the noise that will be required for him to continue. If you can't voice the pain you are in, you can't be free to really enjoy the experience fully. There are forced boundaries right now because of the kids in the house that will not exist when they are gone. I don't want to be in so much pain that I cry out in pain, that I scream with swats, lashes or whacks...but I crave it. I anticipate it with both fear and lust. Someday...

This last picutre. It is a picture with the toys used to create the markings. Good idea or too much body involved? Its hard to get a decent shot without showing things (like faces) that are complete giveways.