Can You Say "Spank Me, Please"

This is one of those areas in life that throw you (or at least me) for a little loop when they start coming out. For as long as I can remember, the idea of being spanked has given me little tingles in those special places. As an adolescent, I would read about spankings and masturbate to them. As an adult, until fairly recently, it was still a private fantasy but the idea of the pain factor just didn't really thrill me...but it did...but it didn't. I wasn't willing to try to it...but boy do I love watching it. My husband caught me watching it and we discovered we were both turned on by it so we decided to try it out. The more we try it out, the farther I want to go. This isn't one of those areas that I feel really free to talk to talk to my friends about. I can't even tell my husband what I want and what I need yet...although we are working on that. So, feeling the need to talk about it, I decided to blog. Crazy huh?

Okay, so far I have been handspanked, paddled, strapped, belted, hairbrushed and caned. I'm liking all of it. The problem is that what I really WANT is to have my ass beaten until I can't sit down and it marks my ass for several days at least. Thats fine. I'm sure my husband would be happy to accomodate...but I can't tell him that. I wimp out after the first few strokes. So far we have been most successful with the hairbrush and the cane. I NEED for him to hold me down and spank me like a punishment type spanking. If we stop everytime I say stop because it hurts, I'll never have the kind of spanking I want. I have given him some pretty strong clues and he is taking the bait. We have been trying to get to a hotel room so he can give me what I need and I can have the freedom to make all the noise I need to make while he is doing it. I am so turned on now just thinking about it...too bad hubby is at work.

What if, even if we can get off by ourselves and he knows EXACTLY what I WANT and what I NEED, I still wimp out and make him stop? How do you progress to the point of severe punishment without caving in? I am interested in suggestions.

I have a pretty good pain tolerance as it is. I need his help to break through an emotional barrier. I understand what it is that is going on. He understands what it is that is going on. I don't expect severe punishment in our lifestyle as an everyday thing. We enjoy the spanking just fine without the severity but because of my emotional needs, every once in a while I need him to push way past when I want him to stop.

How do those girls in the spanking sites take it? Do they build up to it? Do they just naturally have a tolerance that far outweighs mine? I WANT TO KNOW SO I CAN PARTICIPATE!