Thursday, February 01, 2007

The Tide is High...but the Planets won't align

He sleeps for now, the deep sleep of a hardworking man who's back twinges a little too often, a little too scarily. A man who sleeps alone while his wife works...just as the wife sleeps alone while he works.

Sometimes I hate our schedules. We each work the shift that we prefer, but it makes it difficult to have fun times together. Often, when its slow at work I find myself daydreaming, fantasizing, and I hope, sometimes wish, that when I got home we could live out those fantasies. Between kids and work, that only happens about once a week...but boy oh boy do those fantasies get yummy. I write my fantasies to him often...the next best thing to being there. Well, okay, masturbation and fantasy is the next best thing to being there, but letters are a little closer to being together.

His back is hurt this weekend so barring a miraculous recovery, my fantasies will not be fulfilled this weekend. My fantasies change from week to week, day to day. So here I sit, feeling a little/a lot frustrated as I watch my porn and near-porn movies and clips. I watch tons of clips of assholes being violated, bodies rocking back and forth in that motion that can only be achieved by intercourse, and I can almost feel his cock violating my asshole, making my body rock in that sexy, loving, decadent motion. I can feel the head pushing insistently against the tiniest hole he can have, that place that is reserved for him and only him...that place on my body that responds the most intensely to his probings. It opens up to him. It always opens for him. Sometimes it requires a lot of lube, sometimes just the lube from him eating me out, sometimes no lube at all. It always opens up for him, invites him in, pleads for his entry. Most times the initial entry is painful. If he pulls out and then enters again, its pure ecstacy until I get to an earth shattering orgasm. Sometimes it doesn't hurt at all and he just makes love to me. The sweet steady fucking motion of old familiar lovers. Sometimes I set the pace, sometimes he sets pace but the lovemaking almost ends up as assfucking because its the way we both like it the way I orgasm best...its our special gift to each other.

I watch the clips of a beautiful on her knees looking up into the man's eyes while his cock rocks in and out of her mouth, and I wish it was me. More accurately, my absolute favorite is to have My Love sit on chest, take my head in his hands and fuck my mouth while I masturbate. Oh what a turn on..and I find it equally as appealling to watch it done by others. The feeling of a cock bumping against the back of my throat...My Love slowly pushing his cock down my throat until it won't go any further and holding it there. My Love doing this movement several times, then grabbing my hair and fucking my mouth hard and deep. How wet it makes me just thinking of it. How much I long to be taken. There is an extra special trust between lovers when a woman will let her man tie her down in a way that she is completely helpless and have his cock pointing her mouth. We have that kind of trust. I love to be taken totally and completely...taken...what a sweet accurate in the way it feels when he takes control of a blowjob. He can go as deep as he wants, as hard as he wants, as soft as he wants, as gentle as he wants, as fast as he wants or as slow as he wants...its the most delicious taste as he fucks my face. Sometimes when I give him a blowjob, he doesn't want to come until we completely share our bodies...but sometimes when I give him a blowjob, I just have to make him come...HAVE TO. I get so completely turned on, so passionate, I need him to come in my mouth, I need to him to come in my throat...I need him to come before I can come.

And then there are the spanking movies, the spanking videos. So hard. So rough. So painful. I want it so...Punishment spankings are always my favorite to watch, not my favorite to get...most of the time. There is that frame of mind know...THAT "frame of mind." The inner sub begs to be taken, to be fulfilled, to be abused. I want him to take me by the hand, lead me in to the perfect set up, the perfect spanking situation. Sometimes that means he ties me down so that I can't move, no matter what, and he beats me and beats me and beats me until my ass is black and blue (and purple and maybe a few more colors). The impact is so loud it sounds like a gunshot. This is just a fantasy of course, for now anyway. In the fantasy, the swats are so hard. I so admire the girls from Girls Boarding School and They take an ass-beating, the kind I sometimes want, and they never break. If you have never seen their school swats series...WOW. Oh how I want that. But oh how I'm terrified of that. Its times like this, when I am fantasizing....

I can close my eyes. I picture him with a slightly angry demeanor about him. He grabs me by my arm and bends me over. He tells me to grab my ankles. I don't want to but his tone makes me obey. I do it reluctantly. He blasts my ass so hard with the first couple of swats that it almost knocks me off my feet. That isn't good enough. He comes over to me, throws my skirt over my back (because I am always wearing a skirt in these fantasies), places his hand on the lower back and starts swatting again. 7, 8, 9, ass is on fire. Every bit of my ass hurts. Still he isn't done. This time he comes up and pulls my panties down. He swats my ass once and I try to get away. I curl up. He is having none of it. He pulls me up by waist and begins to paddle my ass in earnest. No matter how hard I struggle, no matter how much I cry, no matter how much I beg and scream, he keeps paddling until he can paddle no more...and then he releases me. I collapse on the floor, panties around my ankles. We are both out of breath and sweaty. We sit looking at each other for a moment...

And then his pants come off.

On a snowy, bitter cold day like today, if I can't have the real thing, I can at least daydream about it all day.

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