I KNOW ITS BEEN FOREVER....

Had you given up on me? Thought I had given up on the blog? I haven't. Life, as life sometimes does, has interferred with my ability, desire and causes for blogging. I won't go into all that but rest assured, I'm still here, I still have Honey for a playmate, and we do still play...just not as often. This is not by choice. This is because of circumstances.



I wonder what happened to Toy? I haven't located a new blog for her. I miss reading her oh-so-erotic encounters. I have had many a self-induced orgasm over her posts, her experiences, her fantasies. Even though some of her fantasies are not quite up my alley, they never failed to turn me on...even when I was cringing with fear.

I have been working on a post for several months, believe it or not. Its a fantasy. Oh, don't think the fantasy is so good that it has taken me forever to write it. Its just that everytime I think I am alone, I get into that certain "space" that I have to be in to write...well, to fantasize and then write...or do them simultaneously...SOMEBODY POPS INTO MY LITTLE BUBBLE. I really hate having people enter my bubble when I'm deeply engrossed. It completely destroys the mood. So, one of these days I will finish the post, I will share yet another fantasy, maybe I will even have an encounter to share.

Speaking of which...Honey has been expressing his desire to beat my ass in a serious way. Not in an "I'm pissed off at you" way. In a "flogging your ass makes me so horny" kind of way. I am pretty anxious myself. We have gotten to play a little. We discovered the good old dogleg wooden brush is relatively quiet so it has seen some use recently. Honey has used some other implements on my bottom as well, but I really don't know what they are. I just know they feel really good and the closer I get to orgasm, the harder he can hit. I'm still sure there is some kind of fucked up psychology that goes along with that....that probably goes along with the desire to be spanked thoroughly, but who really cares? It feels good. Well, it doesn't...it hurts like hell but it is every bit as erotic as fellatio or cunnilingus (oh my god...I forgot how to spell it), kissing, teasing the nipples, kissing from head to toe. Its just another facet and its a good one. I have a birthday coming up very soon. Another year older. How depressing. I don't feel any different. And I feel completely different. Its awfully nice watching TV and seeing women that are older than I am being as sexy and active as they were 20 or 30 years ago. No, our skin isn't as supple as a 20 year olds, but I can pretty well assure you that I know how to be sexy when and where it counts way better than any hard bodied 20 year old. Except maybe Britney Spears, who really needed to be taken over SOMEONEs knee and have her butt blistered before her parents finally took control of her. She may not have appreciated it at the time, but 10 or 20 years from now, when she's alive and those she was partying with are dead, or brain dead, she will know that her parents did what any loving parents would do under the same circumstances...minus the millions of dollars that were at stake. I really thought she was going to be pushed right over the edge and one day they were going to find her overdosed body somewhere...but I don't think thats the case anymore. She actually seems to be making some headway. She will never be like the rest of us. She isn't that bright, she has been way too priviledged way too fast and she was thrown into an adult world when she was still a child. But I think she might actually live through it.

I hate when I digress like that. In fact, I may even go back and take that whole Britney Spears part out before I post. Probably not, though. This is my babbling medium. Its my place to mostly babble about sex and those things that I don't discuss with anyone other than Honey but reserve the right to babble about anything I want.

I hope to do more writing in the near future. Not just here, but if I can get some good thoughts together, I would like to try to submit something to Pink Flamingo. I LOVE those stories and short stories are a great way to get into the writing mode again. I can write smut really well...now I need storyline! Oh and if anyone does or has gone to the Pink Flamingo website, please let me know what your favorite stories are. I have a few favorites already and although I have sat down several times already with the intention of ordering a paperback, I can't decide on just one, so I haven't ordered any.

I think for my birthday I am going to indulge in a Hitachi. Honey has wanted to get one for a while. I have preferred my battery operated, night table vibrator but I have been having serious bondage fantasies lately so I'm thinking a Hitachi might just be the icing on the cake. Honey used to tie me up all the time. I loved it. Then physical problems got in the way and it was just too painful. These were work-related injuries. When you have to go to court to get the employer to take responsibility, the lawyers tell you to tell the judge how these injuries have negatively impacted your life. Sexual function is included in that...you know, the old "marital obligation" stuff. How do you tell a judge, under oath, "Oh yeah, my husband and I used to enjoy when he hung me from the ceiling with my hands handcuffed behind my back so he could beat my ass to his satisfaction before throwing me on the bed and shoving his cock up my ass and fucking me so hard that I could feel it for a week." I don't know. Maybe I'm a prude, but I just can't do it. I leave the sex stuff out. The doctors...well, that is another story. I dont go into great detail or anything but I have mentioned more than once that we had an active, somewhat aggressive sex life that my body can no longer tolerate. Very mostly politically correct way of saying that yes, this injury is negatively impacting my life. If you have never been there, be glad. Its very awkward. And had I worked for an employer that cared at all about its employees, I would never have had to go to court.

So...wrapping this up because its early a.m and I would like to snuggle with Honey briefly before he gets up for work, I just want to say, don't give up on me. I'm preoccupied but I think things are getting better. I will finish that fantasy sooner or later.