Thought for the day

The feel of his cock. I lay there, waiting for him to do something. Anything. My breathing is shallow. His hands have been roaming all over my tits, my waist, my asscheeks. I want his cock inside me. I don't care where. Anywhere. Everywhere. I feel the warmth, the heat generating from his cock. He squeezes my tits. I get goosebumps. His fingers brush my clit. I groan. The need builds. My hand goes between my legs. His hands grab my ass again and pull my asscheeks apart. I want to tell him to fuck him. I want to tell him to shove his cock up my ass NOW. I want to plead with him, but I can't. The words won't come out. I feel his cock head against my asshole. The tight little hole spasms with a life of its own. I want it. He presses until he feels the taut hole start to give, start to open up. I moan. It hurts but it feels so good. I rub my clit faster. He eases the pressure off. I wiggle my ass at him, a wordless seduction telling him to come back. I feel the head of his cock again pressing against my asshole. I wait, breathlessly, to see what he will do. I try to open myself up to him more. Just the feel of his cock against that wanton part of my body increases my arousal. I want him to take me. I want him to hurt me. I want him to possess me in the way that only assfucking can do. I want him to grab my hips and plunge himself to the hilt inside of me. I want him to forcefully take me, whether I fight him or beg him or plead with him to stop, I want him to fuck me. I want him to fuck me like the little slut I am for him. I want him to fuck my ass hard. I want his cock pounding my asshole in ways that cause me to make noises that I don't realize are eminating from me right away. I want to be impaled on his cock, feeling his cock deeper inside me than it has ever gone before.

But he doesn't do that. He doesn't impale me. He doesn't take me. He doesn't plunge his cock into me. I feel him stroking his cock. The head of his cock is still pressing against my asshole, but he is jacking off. I can tell by the response from my body, by his animal sounds and by the speed of his strokes that he is near to orgasm. It turns me on even more. He has me placed so that I can not touch him. He is behind me. I can not see him. I can only feel him, his cock, the rocking of the bed. I can hear him. I can hear his labored breathing as his orgasm nears. I want him to stop before he comes. I want him to thrust his hard, swollen cock into me. I want to feel his cum inside me. I want our bodies to become one. He pushes his cock into my asshole just the tiniest bit as he gets closer. It stretches my unlubricated ass. He continues to stroke. I try to push back against him, to take him in deeper but I can't. I feel my own orgasm nearing. As his pace increases, so does mine. I want him to fuck me but I've passed the "fuck me" frame of mind. Now I just need the orgasm. I can tell he is in the same place. The moaning and groaning from both of us continues to get louder and louder, more and more pressing. His cock, still having barely entered my ass swells. He reaches the peak and I can feel his come spurting into me. My orgasm is right behind his. My asshole squeezes his cumming cock head, pulsating with my own orgasm, in rhythm to the jets of cum being shot into my ass. I am left breathless. So is he. Slowly, he withdraws his cockhead from my assring. The moment is over for now. My anal cravings are satisfied for now. Barely, but an orgasm brought on by a cock anywhere takes the edge off. If I'm lucky, that won't be the last of it. If I'm really lucky, when I wake up in the morning my body will have that "I've just spent the night fucking hard" feeling all over my body.

My idea of the perfect "spent the night fucking hard" feeling? I wake up relaxed, peaceful. As I start out of bed, I realize the muscles in my legs and arms are sore, like I have been lifting weights. As I move into a sitting position, I am caught off guard by the pain in my ass...and my pussy. Everything hurts, everything is sore. My pussy is sore and it kind of burns when I pee. My asshole is hypersensitive and it causes me a fair amount of anxiety everytime I go to the bathroom. My asscheeks ache when I sit. I look in the mirror and find bruises already set in. I dont have to see the bruises though. I can feel them with every move I make. I try to walk but the soreness in my legs and pussy make me have to concentrate in order to not walk like I just spent the night being fucked hard. When nobody is watching, I don't bother with the pretext. I walk bowlegged with the occasional groan of pain. I sit on pillows. I get up only when I have to. I love that feeling. I love that "been rode good and hard" feeling the next day. And all day, everyday until the pain eases up, I can be found with a mischievious little grin on my face at all times.

What do you think?

Can anybody tell me how they manage to not wiggle and struggle and fight when they are getting spanked? I don't totally understand it myself. Its something I want. Its something I enjoy...after....but the during....poor Honey has his hands full. I want him to really whack away on my ass some days...but that doesn't mean that I can just sit there and take it. Its instinct, you know? Oh, some days I can most definitely just take it...and even ask for more...and harder. Needless to say, Honey is really fond of those days but most of the time I can't. I watch spanking videos all the time. I am in awe. Oh sure, there are a few that wiggle around like I do but most just let them beat their asses and at most squeal or whine. When I'm in "that" frame of mind, I don't much squeal, whine or wiggle...Honey really likes that...not that he minds when I fight back so much, its just much nicer for both of us when I don't.

He has gotten pretty good at being able to tell how hard he can spank too. Its not something I care to remind him of very often, but usually if he starts out hard, like harder than I like and will probably say mean things to him over, he can spank longer and harder overall. I LOVE the bruises. We actually had some spanking games recently that left a pretty respectable bruise for over a week! There were a couple of bruises but only one that was really good.

And does anybody else have those "phases"? You know, sometimes you want to be whipped with the belt, sometimes the paddle, sometimes the cane, etc? I almost always prefer a wooden paddle, and we have several different kinds. Some are big, some are small, some are thick, some are thin...It has surprised me more than I can say how much those thin paddles can hurt. Its not hurt really...more like sting. They sting like the dickens.

When its at its best, Honey gets into this spanking/teasing rhythm that is just mind-boggling. I get to the point that I just become a ball of sensation and just want to be fucked...and beaten...and fucked...and beaten...and I can't tell which I enjoy more. Spanking and ass-fucking have always just seemed like natural companions.

Here is my perfect sex night.

It starts out with mild spanking...maybe a playful handspanking or even an implement. Honey has me lay over his lap. He raises my skirt and pulls down my panties. He rubs my ass first, getting me nice and relaxed and then he begins. He spanks my bare bottom until it is a nice rosy pink color. It is just starting to radiate heat. He drops me between his legs where I kneel as he takes his pants off. He gathers my hair at the back of my head and pulls me toward him. He is semi-hard. He tells me he is going to use my mouth to masturbate. I open my mouth to receive him. He guides my face onto his cock, and forces my head back and forth as his cock grows in my mouth. With each inward stroke I can feel his cock going further down my throat, filling more of my mouth. He tell me to just keep my mouth open and he holds my head still. His cock has reached its full length and width and he wants to fuck my throat. He pistons his hips back and forth in my mouth, reaching further and further with the head of his cock down my throat. I am lucky enough (or maybe its Honey thats the lucky one) to not have much of a gag reflex so he can shove his entire cock down my throat. Most of the time I don't gag. But sometimes....on this particular day, when I gag, Honey takes it as a sign to pull me up, push my down over his lap again and wail on my ass. He takes me by surprise the first time. He holds me down across his lap while he takes a belt to my ass. The swats are hard and fast. I hardly have time to react at all, for the realization of what has happened to sink in before I find myself back on the floor between his legs, my mouth being forced onto his cock again, doing exactly what he he said he was going to do...masturbating with my mouth. He jerks my head back and forth, pushing his cock again all the way into my mouth, into my throat. When he gets all of his cock wedged deep, he holds my head down, not letting me off his cock to breathe, pumping his hips trying to get just a little more in my mouth. When he lets my head up, I gasp for air but before I know it, his cock is wedging its way down my throat again. I gag and try to pull away. This is what he wants, of course. I find myself thrown over his lap again and this time he pelts my ass with a ping-pong paddle. He gets a good dozen swats off before the sting sets in my brain and I whine..no words, just a sound. This gets him going even more and he pounds my ass as hard as he can at least two dozen more times without stopping. My ass feels like its going explode. I struggle to get away but he has me trapped. The sting is so sharp I have trouble breathing. All I can do is gasp. He shoves me off his lap again and this time stands up. He takes my head in his hands again and fucks my face hard. I'm afraid my teeth are going to cut my lips but he doesn't care. I can feel him getting close to cumming. I can taste it. He is varying his speed now. As he gets close, he slows down. When he has his orgasm at bay, he fucks my face hard. When he's ready to spank me more, he shoves his cock down my throat as deep as he can over and over until I gag. He jerks me back off the floor and over his lap again. As he rains blows down on my ass with a hairbrush, he tells me its time to move on...not from the spanking...we still have lots of spanking to do...he beats my ass with the hairbrush until I am begging him to stop. My ass has become a crimson red and is radiating much heat. When he tires of the hairbrush, he gets up and bends me over the side of the bed. He rips off ten hard swats from the holy paddle before I can mutter a gutteral groan of pain. "Do you want me to stop?" he asks me. I know what answer he wants from me. "No." He resumes spanking my ass with the holy paddle. He spanks hard and fast. Another gutteral groan escapes me. He throws the paddle on the bed next to me and leans up against me, his thighs pressed against my thighs, his hard cock pushing up against me and in between my legs, his chest on my back. He reaches around and grasps both of my breasts and squeezes, massages, pinches. He whispers in my ear "I'm going to fuck you soon. I'm going to fuck you and I'm going to fuck you hard." My breathing is ragged with pain and arousal. "I may fuck your pussy but I promise you I'm going to fuck you up the ass. My cock is going to be buried so deep in your ass you're going to know I was there for days. If your lucky, I MAY lube your ass first, but that's a big maybe. Right now, I'm thinking you just need to take me any way I want." One hand roughs up my breast and the other hand moves between my legs. "Im not done spanking you yet. You need a really good ass-beating." I can't say a word. I'm terrified and turned on. "I can tie you up for the spanking or you can be a good girl and take it what I have to give you. Which is it going to be?" "Please don't tie my hands down," I plead with him. "Alright, we'll give it a try, but if you don't stay still, I'll be forced to restrain you." With that, he takes the hand that was between my legs and toys with my ass. "Oh baby, your ass is so hot. You have no idea how much that turns me on." He squeezes my asscheek, causing renewed pain to my already sensitive skin. He takes the hand from my breast and massages both asscheeks roughly. He separates my asscheeks and probes the tight hole he intends to take. It feels dry but I tingle all over as he pushes the tip of a finger inside. "Oh yeah, your ass is just crying for my cock..." No words come out of me. He prods a little further. "You just love getting your ass beat, don't you Baby." He shoves a finger all the way in my ass. I gasp. He doesn't spend a long time there, but he pumps his finger in and out a few times. He chuckles to himself. He removes his finger, places his hand on my back. I feel a coolness on my flaming asscheeks. The real spanking begins. With his hand on my lower back to make sure I don't move, my ass gets beaten with the lexan paddle, a thin wooden paddle, the holy paddle and Bruiser. I find myself lost in subspace, wanting more and more. Honey lays a cool 100 hard swats on my ass before he stops. Then he hovers over me again. His erection teases me. His hands go straight to my breasts and he whispers in my ear. "You like that, don't you Baby. " I still can't talk. "You ready for me to fuck you?" He slides his cock back and forth against my pussy. "MMMmmmm hmmmmmmm" is the best I can muster. "My cock is so hard. Can you feel it??" Your cock pokes at my ass. Once again, I can't say anything. I am afraid that you will take my ass without preparation. You smack my ass with your hand. "I asked you a question." I still can't answer. I feel the head of your cock press against my tight sphincter. "Do you want me to spank your ass more or would you rather get fucked now." "Fuck me" I whisper. You press the head of your cock into my ass. I gasp. It hurts. "What did you say" you ask me, pushing your cock in a little at a time, pretending you don't hear me. "Oh.....it hurts," I struggle to get the words out. "Did you say it hurts?" You mock-question me as you sink a good half of your length into my ass. I can feel my asshole tearing. "Oh...oh...oh God!" I half-cry. You pull your cock back a little ways and slam it the rest of the way in. "Take it out! Take it out! Take it out! It hurts too much!" I plead. "Breathe," you tell me calmly in my ear. You ease your cock back until just the tip remains. As you pull back, it rips the breath out of me. "Fuck you in the ass or beat your ass hard for the next half hour. The choice is yours." You shove your cock all the way in again. "Beat me. I can't take it. Please take it out."You hold your cock inside me for a minute, giving my asshole a chance to get used to the rude instrusion. You pump gently back and forth. "Are you sure?" You ask me almost teasingly. I'm not sure. I'm not sure of anthing. "No." I whisper. You pull your cock out of my ass as quickly as you had shoved in. You grab up one of the wooden paddles and lay into my ass. My subspace as been interrupted and now I struggle, but you hold me down while you pound on my ass. You stop briefly. "Oh Baby, you are definitely going to know I've been here every time you try to sit down for days." You don't beat my ass for half an hour but what little relief I had started to gain disappears and the red hot flame returns. I can't count. I can't speak. All I can do is struggle. When you are satisfied with the beating you are giving me, you throw down the paddle, spread my asscheeks, and shove your cock up my ass again. It takes the breath away from again but this time the pain isn't quite as bad. You fuck my ass earnestly from the beginning this time. I know that no matter how much I complain, how much I beg, how much I plead, this time it won't do me any good. You murmur things about how good your cock looks in my ass, how good my red ass looks around your cock, the beautiful bruises that are already beginning to show, but I can barely hear. There is roar of pain, pleasure, and growing excitement in my ears. My hand moves to my clit and in seconds, my orgasm is racing yours to the finish line. You pound my ass hard with your cock. Your cock slides easily in and out, as if you had lubed my ass to start with. I hear your orgasm mounting. I feel your cock swelling in my sore ass. As your moans of pleasure gain in strength, my own mount to match yours. Soon, all either of us can hear is the blood rushing in our ears, our own moans of orgasm. Tingles rip through my body from the tips of my toes, but through my asshole that is still impaled on your cock and now filling with your cum, to the hair on the top of my head. The earth rattles for me. I see fireworks. My orgasm feels like it will go on forever. As it subsides, I become aware of the fullness of your cock, still securely planed in my backside. I become aware of the pain of even the hair on your body as it rubs against the fleshy parts of my ass and thighs. When we can breathe again, you gently remove your cock from ass.

Another fantasy to play with. I think we have actually done something very similar to this.

Hope that makes up a little bit for only getting on about every 3 months these days.

So Much To Write

My writing is still obviously sporadic at best. Its not that I am so busy now, although I do manage to find things to do to take up my time. I want to try to do a quick catch up and see where the writing leads.



I can't write anything about Honey's and my exploits lately because there really haven't been any. Physically, it seems our bodies are not cooperating with us. Just as mine starts to settle and I'm finally figuring out my limitations, my poor Honey started having some serious problems. Nothing fatal or anything like that, but painful. Our sex life has become so uneventful that I feared Honey was no longer attracted to me and that he had found someone else that he was attracted to. It caused me some serious emotional pangs that I didn't share for quite a while and when I finally did, I didn't do it well. Then Honey decided to open up the proverbial gate, which was really a good thing because he didn't realize that the times I made cracks about a girlfriend that I was serious. My libido is almost as desirous as ever, but its not needy. If anything were ever to happen to Honey that he was no longer able to "perform" that particular marital obligation in the traditional sense, I could live with that. I would miss him in that way but I have no doubt that he would allow me my sexual gratification (also known as masturbation) with his assistance. I love his big, hard cock filling my orifices and there is absolutely no replacement for it, but its the intimacy that is most important to me. If I had to choose between cuddling and fucking, I would take the cuddling. Our love is strong and grows stronger all the time. And there is the spanking. I still crave it. I still want it but I am really confused about it. The short and sweet background of my confusion is that I was married to an abusive man the first time I was married. He didn't spank, he punched. We never even discussed spanking...not as kink, a foreplay, a form of entertainment or a lifestyle...not as anything at all. He was just downright mean. The fact is, before I was finally able to make my permanent break from him, pretty much the last year that I was with my first husband, I was resigned to and convinced that he was going to kill me. Not necessarily intentionally, but I truly believed that he was going to get drunk and beat me to death and then be very remorseful. It was Honey's friendship that helped me be strong enough to walk away from that abusive situation. Honey has a problem with spanking me sometimes because there isn't an abusive bone in his body. When he really lets himself go and whacks on my ass pretty good, then I start wondering how someone who is supposed to love me can do that to me...even though its what I want. Of course, being the spankee, he also has some trouble from time to time grappling with that issue. If I don't think about it and just allow myself to indulge, I like it. I want more...a LOT more. Unfortunately, I have a hard time shutting my brain down sometimes. It isn't just in spanking either. Its sex in general. If I think about what I look like, my age, or any of a thousand other things, I can't enjoy any kind of sex. I have to close my eyes and just let myself feel. Its stupid I know. It will kill an orgasm if my thoughts drift to me. I will most likely NEVER be involved in a 3 way, 2 males and me, because of that. Its hard enough to shut the intrusions in my brain with Honey, who I am as comfortable with as I am with myself, much less a third party. And then there is the jealousy issue. Neither Honey nor I believe that a third party in our bedroom can enhance any part of our lives together. Honey is extraordinarily understanding and patient with me. I think I am with him too when his issues pop up to bug him. He is the most important part of my life. Nothing is complete until I can share it with him. He is my best friend, my best lover, and psychologist, my musical partner...I don't love any one thing about him, I love the whole package. Sex and games are great but if I had to choose between having a platonic relationship with Honey or having him as a fuck buddy with no relationship, I would take the platonic anyday, hands down. When I try to explain just how much I love him, I find the words to describe exactly what I feel have yet to be formed. Words, phrases, syllables are all inadequate. Picture this: My heart is latex balloon. My love is the helium that fills that balloon. When I think it has reached its maximum capacity, I find there is always more expand that balloon without ever popping it.

Okay...off to other things. I have been visiting, searching, seeking and finding sex-related, and kink-related sites on the web. I want to share with you a few of my personal favorites.

1. Anal Amy.com. This is a blog being written by a very young slut who has a thing for....you guessed it...anal sex. She is quite the little nympho (slut is a word she often uses in reference to herself). She gets laid a lot, in a lot of different ways, by a lot of different people. I got so turned on by her reading her detailed descriptions of a few of her sexual encounters that I have decided to start from the beginning. This particular blog of hers appears to have been created in May of 2006. I am only up the middle of June of 06 and I think she has already had more sex partners than I have had in my entire life. Non-manogamy is so scary these days that although I LOVE reading of her encounters, I am really glad that I am 20 again. As a standing rule, I am always glad that I'm not 20 again. That decade was not one of my favorites. I was already having kids by the time I was Amy's age and sex was very confusing to me. I didn't like the fact that I didn't know what the "rules" were about having sex. In high school, its easy. You don't do it. I realize most people do but the "rule" is that if you are female, you don't do it...at least they were like that when I was in high school. Then comes marriage and the vows of manogamy. But the inbetween times...I found it difficult to negotiate all that. Amy doesn't seem to be having any problems. At her age, I was wondering things like: Do I have sex on the first date? How far is "okay" and for how long? I have never been particularly interested in others opinions about all that. I pretty decided that if I was attracted to a man, and he was attracted to me and we both wanted to have sex, then we would. I had quite a few one night stands, a few illicit affairs but for the most part, I was chaste compared to most of the people I know. Luckily for me, I have had Honey to work out all the things I missed out on. Amy now...I can live vicariously pretty damned well through her writings. I urge you to drop by her blog and spend a little time browsing. I would love to hear back from anybody that does stop by there and let me know what you think. She isn't a spanko, but honestly, I think she just hasn't discovered that fetish yet. Her anal exploits always leave me wet and seeking out Honey's cock. This is a girl after my heart. She loves anal sex at least as much as I do...and she's a pain slut even though she doesn't really appear to know it yet. She takes lots of hard cock up her ass and quite often without lube of any kind. Tell me that isn't a pain slut. Tell me that isn't a girl who wouldn't enjoy a bare bottomed ride across some strong young sadists lap. And she has just a touch of bisexual in her so I think she could bottom for both boys and girls. Here's Amy's webdress: http://www.anal-amy.com

I have so much more that I want to blog about and have been such a terrible procrastinator that I can really only do this one recommendation and review for now. I have to go to bed because I have to be up in about 3 hours and will probably be up the rest of day...but that is a whole blog unto itself. I'm not going to wait so long to post again. If I have the time 2 or 3 times a day to blog, I'm going to start making a point of actually doing it. Its part of what has kept me from blogging. I think I have to put everything down in one entry and when I don't get it done, I put it off and put it off...I make no promises when I will post again but I'm hoping soon because I have some tasty stuff to share.